I Don't Want to Go Back Alone
pg // jonghyun/taemin // ~3k w
-- wherein jonghyun is blind and taemin is new
music 약속해 by nine9
heavily inspired by this fantastic short movie that i cannot spell nor pronounce.
Jonghyun was glad when the teacher told him that he didn't have to take the Braille writer home every day. While being permanently blind permitted him four other heightened senses and free favors, especially from his best friend Soojung, carrying that thing around constantly would still break their bones ultimately.
His classmates were still making fun of the ding noise that it made when Jonghyun would use it in class, saying things like, "Down please," or "Elevator is ready!" and while Jonghyun found amusement in all of it, Soojung scolded them and told them that it was getting old.
"Before we end today, I'd like to call on the new addition to our class. Lee Taemin?" Jonghyun's teacher said, ending in that inviting lilt.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you." Replied a voice from behind him.
"Lee Taemin." The teacher's voice turned authoritative.
With an exhale, Jonghyun sensed movement from behind him, a chair scraping against the floor and foot steps leading toward the head of the classroom.
"Hello. I'm Lee Taemin."
"Hi, Lee Taemin!" Jonghyun said with the rest of the class.
"I just moved here from Daegu--" He halted, and the class giggled.
Jonghyun leaned in to his right where he knew Soojung was. Soojung always sat to his right. "What happened?"
"Someone threw a paper ball at him."
"Hey, put that away. Do you have time for detention? No? Then put that away." The teacher reprimanded.
The bell rang soon after, and footsteps shuffled out the door while Jonghyun gathered his things.
As he zipped his bag shut, he heard Soojung ask, "Are you ready?"
Jonghyun nodded, palming up Soojung's arm to grasp it as he stood up. He held on, leaving Soojung to lead them toward the door, like every other day.
"Hey, Lee Taemin." Jonghyun heard Soojung call out. "Where do you live?"
"Just down the street."
"Do you wanna walk with us?"
"Yeah, sure."
Jonghyun sensed a smile at the end of that sentence.
∞
Jonghyun's only point of comparison was from books that he had read or from what he could feel, smell, taste and hear on his own. There was something about Taemin's voice that reminded him of a very delicate kind of summer, like that song on his iPod with lyrics about candy wrapped in cellophane and the smell of rain.
"It's lucky that you're both neighbors."
"Who? Jonghyun and me?" Soojung asked. "Actually I live two blocks that way, but I walk Jonghyun home because he's too lazy to get his cane out."
Jonghyun poked at her side. "I'd get that cane out right now and smack you sideways if you want."
Minutes later, Soojung stopped, "This is Jonghyun's house," and fished Jonghyun's pockets for the keys to the gate. Jongyhyun could hear her unlock and pull it open, taking his arm and leading him up the steps inside. "Here are your keys. Bye, babe."
Jonghyun pocketed them while pulling the gate back in place. "Thanks, babe. I'll see you tomorrow. Nice to meet you, Taemin."
"You, too."
∞
Soojung always did Jonghyun's hair for him during lunch. They would sit by the stairs and Jonghyun would take out his comb and hair wax, leaving Soojung to style it according to the "Oppas" she so lovingly worships on television.
"Hey," Jonghyun heard Taemin say as he took the necessary steps and sat beside Jonghyun where he could smell his shampoo mixing with the wax in his own hair. "How did you guys do with the math quiz?"
"Not so good." Jonghyun answered.
He felt Soojung cover his ears, "He's not very good at math."
Jonghyun shoved her hands away and chuckled, "I'm blind, not deaf. And you should try solving those questions in Braille."
"I can tutor you if you want." Taemin offered, his hand curled over Jonghyun's shoulder.
"That would be a really big help, actually." Soojung said, excited. "Yeah, we can study at Jjong's house for the next test."
As they walked back to class, Jonghyun could feel someone touching his hair. "I like your hair." It was Taemin.
Jonghyun had been going to this school for years and he knew that there was one last step up the stairs before the second floor, yet for some reason he nearly lost his balance and had to cling to Soojung for recovery. "Thanks."
∞
Their conversations started turning philosophical and somewhat sophisticated as they continued to walk home together. They asked each other questions of varying depth, life or death situations that if you failed to answer, you failed at life.
"Would you rather be bald or naked for the rest of your life?" Soojung asked.
"Naked." Jonghyun answered much too quickly that both Soojung and Taemin laughed in unison. "What?"
"Okay, why?" Taemin asked.
"Because," Jonghyun went on, "I like my hair."
"I'd rather be bald." Taemin answered later with plenty of conviction.
"And why?" Soojung asked as she fished Jonghyun's pockets for the keys to the gate like she usually did.
"Because if I were naked for the rest of my life then there would be no mystery. And it would be drafty."
"Yeah, but in all the right places." Jonghyun protested.
Since they would go to Jonghyun's house every afternoon to study, they would of course work hard to accomplish what they could, until they felt like taking a break and eating chips on Jonghyun's bed. Jonghyun would reprimand them for crumbs, eventually feeling how Soojung spelled out it's fine in Braille by making use of the bits of chips. Then he would enumerate the many ways in which it was in fact not okay at all.
Taemin was the worst hider when they played hide and seek. He wasn't as creative as Soojung who hid under the bed but still left her head and arm out for Jonghyun which meant that she wasn't breaking the rules. Taemin would only ever try to compress himself in one of the corners of Jonghyun's room. And Jonghyun would always touch him first, "Rookie mistake."
∞
"Soojung, if you want, I can walk Jonghyun home the rest of the way." Taemin suggested from Jonghyun's left.
They were probably near the intersection where Soojung's street was paralleled. "Oh, no you don't have to."
"It's fine, really."
"Oh, my God, okay, good, because I really have to pee." Jonghyun could hear her doing her pee dance step.
"Sorry, babe."
"Take care of that bladder, babe."
"Will do. Thanks again, Taemin." She ran fast, Jonghyun thought as he distinguished her goodbye to Taemin already being yelled at a distance.
"Here." Taemin offered his right arm to Jonghyun's left.
But Jonghyun wasn't used to walking that way. So he pulled Taemin to the side, surprised that he hadn't noticed how skinny his arms felt in his hands as he gripped his left one. "Right handed. Sorry."
"It's fine. You ready?"
"Yeah."
When they reached Jonghyun's gate, Taemin murmured, "Should I…"
And Jonghyun wasn't sure what he was asking or doing, but suddenly Taemin was standing so close to him that he could smell his cucumber melon soap, and then his hands were on Jonghyun's waist. "Tae--"
Taemin was doing what he saw Soojung would do when they would stop at his gate. He dug his hand in Jonghyun's pocket, his knuckles protruding and rubbing against the grain of his jeans.
Jonghyun swallowed, turning his head away.
"Got them." Taemin said. Jonghyun heard the gate unlocking and felt Taemin's palms over his hands, placing his keys at the center. "Here."
"Yeah. Uh. Thanks, Taemin."
"No problem." Jonghyun could already hear him walking away.
∞
With the partnering assignment for their mythology class not allowing female-male pairs, Jonghyun felt Taemin's hands from behind circle over the bones of his shoulders to pull him back so that he could whisper softly in his ear, "Do you wanna pair up?"
They waited for Soojung by the stairs where they usually ate lunch.
She stomped her way down and slumped beside them. Jonghyun didn't need sight to determine the distaste she had for being partnered with anyone who wasn't him. "I have to go to the library and work on this assignment with Hanah. What about you guys?"
"My house?" Jonghyun asked.
He didn't hear Taemin say anything.
"Did you just nod?"
Taemin laughed, embarrassed. "I did, sorry. I mean, yes, let's work at your house."
"Okay, well. Good luck. I have to go, babe."
"Okay, babe. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah. Bye, Taemin."
"Bye."
Jonghyun returned his fingers to his book, the tips lightly dragging over the bumps across the page.
"Can I ask you something?" He felt Taemin move closer to his side as he spoke. He wondered if Taemin was going to ask something personal. He probably was.
"Yeah."
"How long have you been like this?"
"What. A hottie?" He heard Taemin laugh. "Or blind?"
"Blind."
"Since I was born."
"Wow." Taemin said. "I wouldn't know what I would do if I was blind, to be honest."
"You get used to it after a while. After all the frustration, you learn to laugh at things."
Taemin didn't say anything.
"You still there?"
"Yeah, sorry." Taemin said. "Sometimes, when you're turned to me like that, it's like you're looking at me."
Jonghyun didn't know what to say to that. And he felt it was unfair that while he couldn't see the way Taemin was looking at him, Taemin could read everything on Jonghyun's face, and he would never even realize it.
∞
"So, you and Soojung." Taemin asked as they walked to Jonghyun's house, arms linked.
"Yeah?"
"Did you guys ever… become more than friends?"
"Oh sweet Jesus, no." Jonghyun joked. "No, just. It's hard thinking of her like that."
"You don't know what she looks like, do you?"
"Sure, I do."
"Tell me."
"Easy. Blonde. Big boobs. There's a reason why she's my best friend, you know."
Taemin laughed. And Jonghyun could feel his arm reach up so that his hand could cover his mouth. Soojung said Taemin did that a lot.
"Seriously, though. I do." Jonghyun continued. "I feel her face every new year. So I can take note of the changes each time. And there are also the times that I give her a good slap."
"Do you wanna know what I look like?" Taemin asked once he recovered from his laughter.
"I haven't washed my hands, yet."
"That's okay." Taemin curled feather-light fingers over his wrists, gently maneuvering them to his cheeks. From the angle, Jonghyun could tell that he was taller.
He traced his hands along every curve, pert cheeks, wide forehead beneath thick hair, long, soft nose, strong jaw line.
"What do you think?" Taemin's lips grazed along his fingers as he moved his hands down toward Taemin's neck.
"You're hideous."
Feeling Taemin's laugh, the bob of his Adam's apple, it was like hearing music for the first time, when he knew that even though he was blind, it wasn't total darkness.
∞
"It's warm in here." Taemin commented when they stepped inside Jonghyun's room.
Jonghyun dumped his bag on the carpet. "That's because you're wearing a jacket."
"How did you know that?"
"I have magical powers." He heard the zippers of Taemin's jacket clicking together.
"I took it off."
Jonghyun pulled his chair back, the one he knew was in front of his desk. When he sat down, he felt a bump of fabric behind him on the frame. He grasped it, recognizing it as Taemin's jacket.
"Jonghyun, can I brush my teeth first?"
"Yeah," Jonghyun moved the jacket to his desk, next to his computer, "go ahead."
"I'll be right back."
Jonghyun didn't hear the door shut, but he heard Taemin's footsteps fade into the hallway.
He was hesitant for a second. Then his fingers tentatively grabbed the jacket, taking it in his hands and sniffing it.
He held it tight, burying his nose and feeling crops of threads tickling his skin. He was busy trying to distinguish if Taemin's soap was in fact melon that it didn't register on him that Taemin had forgotten to bring his toothbrush and had come back to retrieve it from his bag. He didn't sense Taemin's presence, just standing there at the door, watching him.
∞
During lunch and the cursory hair styling session (Soojung, thought they would go for a more Choi Minho SHINee look today), Jonghyun asked, "Babe, do you think I'm good-looking?"
He could sense the tension behind Soojung's laugh, "Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?"
"I just… I was just curious."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think so."
"Do you think… other people think so, too?"
"Well, I don't know, babe. You'd have to ask them." Soojung replied. "Why do you care what other people think?"
Jonghyun didn't answer, instead, absently drank his juice box.
∞
"What are you listening to all the time?" Jonghyun felt Taemin free one of the earphones from his ear while they were in his room. "Can I hear?"
"Yeah, uhm." Jonghyun assumed that Taemin already had the earphone stuck to his ear.
"This is nice." Taemin commented. "I've never heard of this artist, though.
"You can lend me your iPod and I can transfer music if you want."
"Yeah, I'd like that."
∞
Taemin thought that Braille was impossible to understand. No matter how many times Jonghyun tried to explain how this was different from that, Taemin would exclaim, "It's all just a bunch of dots to me, man."
And Jonghyun would laugh and call him hopeless.
"Jjong." Taemin whispered from behind him during class. Jonghyun leaned back. "I left my iPod at your house."
"You can stop by and get it later."
"I can't today. I have a dentist appointment."
"Oh, okay. I'll just bring it tomorrow morning."
∞
"Soojung?" Jonghyun called out when he heard footsteps enter what he thought was an empty classroom.
"Hey, oh my God. I'm finally done with that stupid quiz. I'm telling you, babe, once I graduate, I'll be long gone--"
"I have to tell you something."
Soojung stopped moving. He could hear her move the chair and sit down. "Sounds urgent."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe it is…"
"Okay, what's up."
"I can't tell you here."
"Why not?"
"No, just forget it."
"Oh, come on, Jonghyun." Soojung urged. She shifted her chair closer. "Now I'm extra curious."
"Is the classroom really empty?"
"Yes, yes, now out with it."
"I think… I think I might really like Taemin." Jonghyun rushed through his words, breathing now ragged as though he jogged a mile. "Did you hear me?"
"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just… shocked." Soojung said. "You like him, like… boyfriend like him?"
"In that corny way, yes." Jonghyun practically whined. "You can't tell anyone--"
He's cut off by her cellphone ringing. "Shit, that's my mom. Listen, we'll talk more about this later, I have to go to my mom's party. I'll drop by your house later--" Jonghyun could hear her already running out, "I promise I won't even eat that much."
"Soojung." She was already gone.
∞
It had been a while since Jonghyun brought out his walking stick. He swayed it about as he made his way home, fingers crawling over the lock of the gate to get the key to fit just right. As he entered his room, he palmed the desk where he knew he kept Taemin's iPod, just to make sure it was still there.
He had intended on taking a nap, instead he lay on his bed, fingers dancing over the covers. He wanted to call Soojung, he needed to talk to someone.
Hours later, just as his heart was about to burst at the number of possibilities that were crossing his mind, his doorknob was being twisted, door pushed open.
He jumped out of bed, "What took you so long, Soojung! Have you any idea how worried I was? Listen, I shouldn't have said that stuff about liking Taemin, okay. Can we just forget about it? I mean, I'll forget about it. I'll try my hardest to forget about it. You don’t have to tell me that I can never be with him, like, I already know that--"
Lips pressed against his. Jonghyun lost his words. He stood there, rooted and frozen, and he couldn't think straight because there were so many questions, yet none were making their way past the swell of his chest.
Suddenly, the kiss was over, footsteps were retrieving, and his door was shut, leaving Jonghyun to stand in the middle of his room, mint lining the inside of his mouth.
∞
"I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry!"
That was unmistakably Soojung's voice, barging in the moment the door opened. Jonghyun sat up from his bed, yanked from his thoughts.
"I wanted to leave early but my mom was on patrol so I had to stay…"
Jonghyun couldn't move to his desk any faster.
"Jonghyun?" Soojung asked, worried, as Jonghyun tumbled to the carpet, standing back up and palming the desk.
"Where's the iPod?"
"What iPod?"
"Taemin's iPod."
Soojung was quiet for a bit, and Jonghyun could sense her moving around the room. "I don't see an iPod."
"What about under the bed?"
"No. No, there's no iPod. Why?"
And then Jonghyun realized that Taemin just saw the dentist. And it made very little and perfect sense all at the same time. Jonghyun smiled so big, the corners of his mouth ached.
"You're such a weirdo." Soojung threw a pillow at his face.
*masterficlist | tumblr | *new* twitter | comment here to be added
-- sorry this is posted on such short notice.
please enjoy :D also, unbeta'd so grammerrors
here and there. beware.
-- wherein jonghyun is blind and taemin is new
music 약속해 by nine9
heavily inspired by this fantastic short movie that i cannot spell nor pronounce.
Jonghyun was glad when the teacher told him that he didn't have to take the Braille writer home every day. While being permanently blind permitted him four other heightened senses and free favors, especially from his best friend Soojung, carrying that thing around constantly would still break their bones ultimately.
His classmates were still making fun of the ding noise that it made when Jonghyun would use it in class, saying things like, "Down please," or "Elevator is ready!" and while Jonghyun found amusement in all of it, Soojung scolded them and told them that it was getting old.
"Before we end today, I'd like to call on the new addition to our class. Lee Taemin?" Jonghyun's teacher said, ending in that inviting lilt.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you." Replied a voice from behind him.
"Lee Taemin." The teacher's voice turned authoritative.
With an exhale, Jonghyun sensed movement from behind him, a chair scraping against the floor and foot steps leading toward the head of the classroom.
"Hello. I'm Lee Taemin."
"Hi, Lee Taemin!" Jonghyun said with the rest of the class.
"I just moved here from Daegu--" He halted, and the class giggled.
Jonghyun leaned in to his right where he knew Soojung was. Soojung always sat to his right. "What happened?"
"Someone threw a paper ball at him."
"Hey, put that away. Do you have time for detention? No? Then put that away." The teacher reprimanded.
The bell rang soon after, and footsteps shuffled out the door while Jonghyun gathered his things.
As he zipped his bag shut, he heard Soojung ask, "Are you ready?"
Jonghyun nodded, palming up Soojung's arm to grasp it as he stood up. He held on, leaving Soojung to lead them toward the door, like every other day.
"Hey, Lee Taemin." Jonghyun heard Soojung call out. "Where do you live?"
"Just down the street."
"Do you wanna walk with us?"
"Yeah, sure."
Jonghyun sensed a smile at the end of that sentence.
∞
Jonghyun's only point of comparison was from books that he had read or from what he could feel, smell, taste and hear on his own. There was something about Taemin's voice that reminded him of a very delicate kind of summer, like that song on his iPod with lyrics about candy wrapped in cellophane and the smell of rain.
"It's lucky that you're both neighbors."
"Who? Jonghyun and me?" Soojung asked. "Actually I live two blocks that way, but I walk Jonghyun home because he's too lazy to get his cane out."
Jonghyun poked at her side. "I'd get that cane out right now and smack you sideways if you want."
Minutes later, Soojung stopped, "This is Jonghyun's house," and fished Jonghyun's pockets for the keys to the gate. Jongyhyun could hear her unlock and pull it open, taking his arm and leading him up the steps inside. "Here are your keys. Bye, babe."
Jonghyun pocketed them while pulling the gate back in place. "Thanks, babe. I'll see you tomorrow. Nice to meet you, Taemin."
"You, too."
∞
Soojung always did Jonghyun's hair for him during lunch. They would sit by the stairs and Jonghyun would take out his comb and hair wax, leaving Soojung to style it according to the "Oppas" she so lovingly worships on television.
"Hey," Jonghyun heard Taemin say as he took the necessary steps and sat beside Jonghyun where he could smell his shampoo mixing with the wax in his own hair. "How did you guys do with the math quiz?"
"Not so good." Jonghyun answered.
He felt Soojung cover his ears, "He's not very good at math."
Jonghyun shoved her hands away and chuckled, "I'm blind, not deaf. And you should try solving those questions in Braille."
"I can tutor you if you want." Taemin offered, his hand curled over Jonghyun's shoulder.
"That would be a really big help, actually." Soojung said, excited. "Yeah, we can study at Jjong's house for the next test."
As they walked back to class, Jonghyun could feel someone touching his hair. "I like your hair." It was Taemin.
Jonghyun had been going to this school for years and he knew that there was one last step up the stairs before the second floor, yet for some reason he nearly lost his balance and had to cling to Soojung for recovery. "Thanks."
∞
Their conversations started turning philosophical and somewhat sophisticated as they continued to walk home together. They asked each other questions of varying depth, life or death situations that if you failed to answer, you failed at life.
"Would you rather be bald or naked for the rest of your life?" Soojung asked.
"Naked." Jonghyun answered much too quickly that both Soojung and Taemin laughed in unison. "What?"
"Okay, why?" Taemin asked.
"Because," Jonghyun went on, "I like my hair."
"I'd rather be bald." Taemin answered later with plenty of conviction.
"And why?" Soojung asked as she fished Jonghyun's pockets for the keys to the gate like she usually did.
"Because if I were naked for the rest of my life then there would be no mystery. And it would be drafty."
"Yeah, but in all the right places." Jonghyun protested.
Since they would go to Jonghyun's house every afternoon to study, they would of course work hard to accomplish what they could, until they felt like taking a break and eating chips on Jonghyun's bed. Jonghyun would reprimand them for crumbs, eventually feeling how Soojung spelled out it's fine in Braille by making use of the bits of chips. Then he would enumerate the many ways in which it was in fact not okay at all.
Taemin was the worst hider when they played hide and seek. He wasn't as creative as Soojung who hid under the bed but still left her head and arm out for Jonghyun which meant that she wasn't breaking the rules. Taemin would only ever try to compress himself in one of the corners of Jonghyun's room. And Jonghyun would always touch him first, "Rookie mistake."
∞
"Soojung, if you want, I can walk Jonghyun home the rest of the way." Taemin suggested from Jonghyun's left.
They were probably near the intersection where Soojung's street was paralleled. "Oh, no you don't have to."
"It's fine, really."
"Oh, my God, okay, good, because I really have to pee." Jonghyun could hear her doing her pee dance step.
"Sorry, babe."
"Take care of that bladder, babe."
"Will do. Thanks again, Taemin." She ran fast, Jonghyun thought as he distinguished her goodbye to Taemin already being yelled at a distance.
"Here." Taemin offered his right arm to Jonghyun's left.
But Jonghyun wasn't used to walking that way. So he pulled Taemin to the side, surprised that he hadn't noticed how skinny his arms felt in his hands as he gripped his left one. "Right handed. Sorry."
"It's fine. You ready?"
"Yeah."
When they reached Jonghyun's gate, Taemin murmured, "Should I…"
And Jonghyun wasn't sure what he was asking or doing, but suddenly Taemin was standing so close to him that he could smell his cucumber melon soap, and then his hands were on Jonghyun's waist. "Tae--"
Taemin was doing what he saw Soojung would do when they would stop at his gate. He dug his hand in Jonghyun's pocket, his knuckles protruding and rubbing against the grain of his jeans.
Jonghyun swallowed, turning his head away.
"Got them." Taemin said. Jonghyun heard the gate unlocking and felt Taemin's palms over his hands, placing his keys at the center. "Here."
"Yeah. Uh. Thanks, Taemin."
"No problem." Jonghyun could already hear him walking away.
∞
With the partnering assignment for their mythology class not allowing female-male pairs, Jonghyun felt Taemin's hands from behind circle over the bones of his shoulders to pull him back so that he could whisper softly in his ear, "Do you wanna pair up?"
They waited for Soojung by the stairs where they usually ate lunch.
She stomped her way down and slumped beside them. Jonghyun didn't need sight to determine the distaste she had for being partnered with anyone who wasn't him. "I have to go to the library and work on this assignment with Hanah. What about you guys?"
"My house?" Jonghyun asked.
He didn't hear Taemin say anything.
"Did you just nod?"
Taemin laughed, embarrassed. "I did, sorry. I mean, yes, let's work at your house."
"Okay, well. Good luck. I have to go, babe."
"Okay, babe. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah. Bye, Taemin."
"Bye."
Jonghyun returned his fingers to his book, the tips lightly dragging over the bumps across the page.
"Can I ask you something?" He felt Taemin move closer to his side as he spoke. He wondered if Taemin was going to ask something personal. He probably was.
"Yeah."
"How long have you been like this?"
"What. A hottie?" He heard Taemin laugh. "Or blind?"
"Blind."
"Since I was born."
"Wow." Taemin said. "I wouldn't know what I would do if I was blind, to be honest."
"You get used to it after a while. After all the frustration, you learn to laugh at things."
Taemin didn't say anything.
"You still there?"
"Yeah, sorry." Taemin said. "Sometimes, when you're turned to me like that, it's like you're looking at me."
Jonghyun didn't know what to say to that. And he felt it was unfair that while he couldn't see the way Taemin was looking at him, Taemin could read everything on Jonghyun's face, and he would never even realize it.
∞
"So, you and Soojung." Taemin asked as they walked to Jonghyun's house, arms linked.
"Yeah?"
"Did you guys ever… become more than friends?"
"Oh sweet Jesus, no." Jonghyun joked. "No, just. It's hard thinking of her like that."
"You don't know what she looks like, do you?"
"Sure, I do."
"Tell me."
"Easy. Blonde. Big boobs. There's a reason why she's my best friend, you know."
Taemin laughed. And Jonghyun could feel his arm reach up so that his hand could cover his mouth. Soojung said Taemin did that a lot.
"Seriously, though. I do." Jonghyun continued. "I feel her face every new year. So I can take note of the changes each time. And there are also the times that I give her a good slap."
"Do you wanna know what I look like?" Taemin asked once he recovered from his laughter.
"I haven't washed my hands, yet."
"That's okay." Taemin curled feather-light fingers over his wrists, gently maneuvering them to his cheeks. From the angle, Jonghyun could tell that he was taller.
He traced his hands along every curve, pert cheeks, wide forehead beneath thick hair, long, soft nose, strong jaw line.
"What do you think?" Taemin's lips grazed along his fingers as he moved his hands down toward Taemin's neck.
"You're hideous."
Feeling Taemin's laugh, the bob of his Adam's apple, it was like hearing music for the first time, when he knew that even though he was blind, it wasn't total darkness.
∞
"It's warm in here." Taemin commented when they stepped inside Jonghyun's room.
Jonghyun dumped his bag on the carpet. "That's because you're wearing a jacket."
"How did you know that?"
"I have magical powers." He heard the zippers of Taemin's jacket clicking together.
"I took it off."
Jonghyun pulled his chair back, the one he knew was in front of his desk. When he sat down, he felt a bump of fabric behind him on the frame. He grasped it, recognizing it as Taemin's jacket.
"Jonghyun, can I brush my teeth first?"
"Yeah," Jonghyun moved the jacket to his desk, next to his computer, "go ahead."
"I'll be right back."
Jonghyun didn't hear the door shut, but he heard Taemin's footsteps fade into the hallway.
He was hesitant for a second. Then his fingers tentatively grabbed the jacket, taking it in his hands and sniffing it.
He held it tight, burying his nose and feeling crops of threads tickling his skin. He was busy trying to distinguish if Taemin's soap was in fact melon that it didn't register on him that Taemin had forgotten to bring his toothbrush and had come back to retrieve it from his bag. He didn't sense Taemin's presence, just standing there at the door, watching him.
∞
During lunch and the cursory hair styling session (Soojung, thought they would go for a more Choi Minho SHINee look today), Jonghyun asked, "Babe, do you think I'm good-looking?"
He could sense the tension behind Soojung's laugh, "Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?"
"I just… I was just curious."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think so."
"Do you think… other people think so, too?"
"Well, I don't know, babe. You'd have to ask them." Soojung replied. "Why do you care what other people think?"
Jonghyun didn't answer, instead, absently drank his juice box.
∞
"What are you listening to all the time?" Jonghyun felt Taemin free one of the earphones from his ear while they were in his room. "Can I hear?"
"Yeah, uhm." Jonghyun assumed that Taemin already had the earphone stuck to his ear.
"This is nice." Taemin commented. "I've never heard of this artist, though.
"You can lend me your iPod and I can transfer music if you want."
"Yeah, I'd like that."
∞
Taemin thought that Braille was impossible to understand. No matter how many times Jonghyun tried to explain how this was different from that, Taemin would exclaim, "It's all just a bunch of dots to me, man."
And Jonghyun would laugh and call him hopeless.
"Jjong." Taemin whispered from behind him during class. Jonghyun leaned back. "I left my iPod at your house."
"You can stop by and get it later."
"I can't today. I have a dentist appointment."
"Oh, okay. I'll just bring it tomorrow morning."
∞
"Soojung?" Jonghyun called out when he heard footsteps enter what he thought was an empty classroom.
"Hey, oh my God. I'm finally done with that stupid quiz. I'm telling you, babe, once I graduate, I'll be long gone--"
"I have to tell you something."
Soojung stopped moving. He could hear her move the chair and sit down. "Sounds urgent."
"Well, I don't know. Maybe it is…"
"Okay, what's up."
"I can't tell you here."
"Why not?"
"No, just forget it."
"Oh, come on, Jonghyun." Soojung urged. She shifted her chair closer. "Now I'm extra curious."
"Is the classroom really empty?"
"Yes, yes, now out with it."
"I think… I think I might really like Taemin." Jonghyun rushed through his words, breathing now ragged as though he jogged a mile. "Did you hear me?"
"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just… shocked." Soojung said. "You like him, like… boyfriend like him?"
"In that corny way, yes." Jonghyun practically whined. "You can't tell anyone--"
He's cut off by her cellphone ringing. "Shit, that's my mom. Listen, we'll talk more about this later, I have to go to my mom's party. I'll drop by your house later--" Jonghyun could hear her already running out, "I promise I won't even eat that much."
"Soojung." She was already gone.
∞
It had been a while since Jonghyun brought out his walking stick. He swayed it about as he made his way home, fingers crawling over the lock of the gate to get the key to fit just right. As he entered his room, he palmed the desk where he knew he kept Taemin's iPod, just to make sure it was still there.
He had intended on taking a nap, instead he lay on his bed, fingers dancing over the covers. He wanted to call Soojung, he needed to talk to someone.
Hours later, just as his heart was about to burst at the number of possibilities that were crossing his mind, his doorknob was being twisted, door pushed open.
He jumped out of bed, "What took you so long, Soojung! Have you any idea how worried I was? Listen, I shouldn't have said that stuff about liking Taemin, okay. Can we just forget about it? I mean, I'll forget about it. I'll try my hardest to forget about it. You don’t have to tell me that I can never be with him, like, I already know that--"
Lips pressed against his. Jonghyun lost his words. He stood there, rooted and frozen, and he couldn't think straight because there were so many questions, yet none were making their way past the swell of his chest.
Suddenly, the kiss was over, footsteps were retrieving, and his door was shut, leaving Jonghyun to stand in the middle of his room, mint lining the inside of his mouth.
∞
"I'm sorry, babe. I'm so sorry!"
That was unmistakably Soojung's voice, barging in the moment the door opened. Jonghyun sat up from his bed, yanked from his thoughts.
"I wanted to leave early but my mom was on patrol so I had to stay…"
Jonghyun couldn't move to his desk any faster.
"Jonghyun?" Soojung asked, worried, as Jonghyun tumbled to the carpet, standing back up and palming the desk.
"Where's the iPod?"
"What iPod?"
"Taemin's iPod."
Soojung was quiet for a bit, and Jonghyun could sense her moving around the room. "I don't see an iPod."
"What about under the bed?"
"No. No, there's no iPod. Why?"
And then Jonghyun realized that Taemin just saw the dentist. And it made very little and perfect sense all at the same time. Jonghyun smiled so big, the corners of his mouth ached.
"You're such a weirdo." Soojung threw a pillow at his face.
*masterficlist | tumblr | *new* twitter | comment here to be added
-- sorry this is posted on such short notice.
please enjoy :D also, unbeta'd so grammerrors
here and there. beware.