The Con #5
pg - 13 // 2min // ~7k w
warning: one too many inaccuracies
with accordance to the traditions, detail and
dialogue (probably much more than this)
of the joseon period of korea. the plot is
completely and utterly fictional and does not
in any way suggest that any of the members of
SHINee engage in homosexual activities (i.e. cross
dressing((well)), sex with men, etc.) also, unbetad.
It takes me a minute to dwell in the emptiness of the bed, being tugged and swirled into my emotions from last night. And from there, my vehemence surges.
"How dare he?" I say to myself as I shuffle out of bed, clawing what undergarments are within reach and tearing into them in haste.
"How dare he?!" I secure the rest of the ensemble rather haphazardly, no longer bothering with my hair by the time I stomp out of Minho's quarters.
"How dare he," I mumble the rest of the way, ignoring handmaids who are greeting me as I pass, too caught in my own thoughts to care for now. I wrap my arms around my waist, pushing aside the memory of Minho's warm arms from last night.
I make it to the hallway where all of the classrooms are, peeking at each one, finding them empty. I finally reach the hall leading to the study and the moment I see Onew standing guard by the door, I am certain that Minho is in the room behind him.
"Good morning, my lady--"
"Not today, Onew."
I slide the door away, propelling the wood to bang against the frame. It startles Minho, his back to turned to me as he stops from painting, gradually turning on his heel while cleaning his brush in a jar of water.
"How DARE you!" I point at him before I can doubt myself.
He doesn't even flinch.
I step into the room, wiping my hair away from my face. "Let's get one thing straight, Minho! I am not your whore and I do not deserve to be treated as such!"
"Ladies, will you give us a moment." Is the last thing I expect to hear from Minho. I follow his gaze and find three handmaids sitting by the window sill where the light catches them perfectly, retracting from their previous poses.
Oh. I wrap myself in my arms again and bow to each one as they make their exit.
"I didn't know you had company--"
Minho swoops in with his mouth and his ridiculously strong arms, kissing my words back into my throat. I clutch at his sleeves, undecided as to whether I should push him or pull him closer.
"Perhaps I should have left a note." He pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. I suppress a shiver by grinding my teeth together.
"A note would have sufficed, yes." I decide to reply with, creating even a miniscule amount of distance between us.
"I suppose your delightful presence here is with regards to thanking me."
"To thank you for what?" I arch a brow.
"For the events that took place in my quarters last night." Minho states without malice, clearly already forgetting the announcement I entered with. "And you're welcome."
"Egotistical as you are, I hope that you believe me when I say that that cannot be farther from the truth, young master."
"Oh?"
"I came here to inform you that--"
"You're not a whore?" He grins.
"Yes." My answer comes clipped. "And now that I have said my peace, I shall leave you to your… painting."
"Taeyeon." I stop right as I am about to reach for the door. "I wish you would look at me as I say this."
Well, since he wishes it. I comply, if not slightly embarrassed.
"I apologize." It doesn’t even sound forced. That surprises me most of all. "For making you feel as though you needed to clarify that with me. I never intended such a misconception. I… I apologize." He ends awkwardly, playing with the fabric around his waist.
And even with the set of lies that I am tangled in, I feel a weight being lifted from me. "I accept. Your apology. Thank you."
The corner of his mouth curls into the most beautiful smile of relief and satisfaction that I have ever seen. With that, he walks toward me, and this time, I am rooted to my spot.
He touches my lips with his, fingers rake through my hair. He departs from my lips to whisper into my ear, "Of all the lace and garments I've seen you in, my favorite is this; seeing you stripped down and carrying my scent."
He kisses me again but this time, I pull him in, standing on my tiptoes to match his efforts.
∞
Days after, the queen requests my presence in the common area. And the first thing she does when she sees me is kiss me on both cheeks gleefully.
"I've gotten wind of your consummation, bravo!"
I tense up in her arms, blinking repeatedly. I am sure that she said what I think she just said, but at the same time… oh god, why?
And for the rest of the morning, she thanks me, offers me lavish gifts that I continuously refuse politely. Seeing her so happy as a result of her son's happiness causes me to be slightly uneasy. I'm thinking of my father, how he is, and what he has been doing to get accustomed to his chains.
Which is when the queen decides to hurry me out of the common room and into the hall. She goes on to tell me more about Minho, how she always had inkling about his preferences and was worried that he felt isolated because of it. "He will have never let me know. I just want him to be happy."
I can only smile and nod in agreement. Maybe I understand because in a way, I want the same thing.
She leads me to a door of one of the guest rooms, instructing a handmaid to slide the door open. And when she does, I see none other than my father, feasting in bed albeit weakly. I almost fall to my knees.
"Taemin?" Father rasps, setting his food aside. "Taemin, my boy. I'd run to you, but I've got my hands full here."
I laugh breathlessly, dashing through the room to get to him. I vaguely recognize the queen leaving us alone when the door closes back shut.
Father and I catch up. He speaks about the queen and how she bowed down in apology. They discussed the arrangements, about their new place in the palace. I am near tears when he holds me in his arms and says, "Thank you, Taemin. You've done it. You can rest easy now."
∞
When the night shapes the sky, Minho marches into my room, unmistakable fury in his eyes.
I rise from my chair, setting my book down.
When we lock eyes, he seems shocked for some reason. His eyes roam over me, casually leading back up to my face. "I have never seen you outside of your hanbok."
And it dawns on me how I'm in my regular garments, hair in a bun, rid of face paint. I am tempted to shield myself with my arms, futile as it may seem. However, the way he stares at me leaves me feeling even smaller. "I wasn't expecting you."
Minho averts his gaze, shifting on his feet. He plants his hands on his waist and exhales. "I had an interesting conversation with mother this afternoon."
The hairs on my nape rise to attention. I know where this is going. Though scared, I am somewhat relieved. We might as well have this conversation now; get this half of the caveat relinquished. "Interesting how?"
"Apparently she was more than aware about your… machismo."
It's not hard to laugh when I know he's so serious. I grind my teeth together and nod.
"And she informs me that you are, too."
I stare at him. "I am aware of my… machismo, yes."
"No." Minho shook his head furiously. "I was pertaining to this scheme you hatched with the one person I thought I could trust due to maternal reasons and familial reasons and obviously this is a dirty world where I can trust absolutely no one."
"Minho, please--"
"No!" Minho darts a finger at me. He's so childish. "I redact your rights to my first name! You shall return to calling me young master!"
"Okay," I shrug, "young master. I'm sorry."
"You're always sorry."
"I have many mistakes." I say. "But I swear to you, it was not a scheme against you. I… I learned so much about you and have come to see you as someone else entirely because of what I have done, and I am so sorry that you feel betrayed.
"But I am not sorry for getting close to you," I take a step closer, "or knowing you the way that I do."
Minho crosses his arms, afflicted. I take the last few steps to get to him, holding his wrists and prying his arms open.
"And although you have met some of my low expectations, on some level, you have also surpassed them." I don't know anymore, to be frank, who is fooling whom. If what I am saying are words gifted by the laws of having to, or because of wanting to. And to think about so much in so little time is troublesome and will propel me nowhere, when the only place I truly want to be is here. "And if I have to scheme for everyday that I am allowed a moment with you, then I will plan day and night, one maniacal con after the other."
After a while, Minho decides to respond, "You're getting better at apologies."
"Or perhaps you're not as impenetrable as you think you are."
"How DARE you!" He mimics my impromptu outburst from a few days back, a joke that he has developed a liking for because it makes me flush and hit him on the arm.
"But that is all of it? No more schemes, no more lies?"
I tense up, staring at him with my head angled back. I know that Minho is not a boy, although he may act like one at times. I know that he is not an idiot either. I know that he deserves every bit of truth. But I also know that he deserves the truth at the right place and time. And with today and all that has happened, it can wait. The whole world can wait.
And for once, I allow myself some decadence. "No more."
"Are you certain?"
He gives me a long hard look that I cannot avoid. "My real name is Taemin."
He squints, smile slowly forming on his lips. "Taemin?"
"Yes." I smile back. "Now, I am certain."
"Alright. I believe you." Minho takes a step back. "I'll leave you to your reading. Taemin."
On his way to the door, I say to his back, "Can I call you Minho again, young master?"
"Only in my quarters."
"You pig."
"How DARE you!"
I toss a cushion at his back, subconsciously initiating a fluffy war for the entirety of the night.
∞
No matter how much of a maiden this will make me sound, I never knew happiness like this. So, I'm willing to disregard my resentment for being known for my feminine looks. If it gets me days and nights of being Minho's muse, then I'll take pride in this identity.
One night, Minho asks me to join him for dinner in his quarters. Scandalous as the idea once was to me, we have been doing this for days, weeks even, I have honestly lost count. I walk back into my room and find a set of clothing meant for males such as myself, newly delivered with a note by Kim Heechul himself.
I inspect the intricate fabric, every thread designed for royalty.
A handmaid escorts me to Minho's room, leaving by the time she closes the door. Minho eyes me with pride, approaching to greet me by the door. "I have yet to witness you in something that will not stop me in my tracks."
"You'll be waiting a long time, young master."
"Cheeky."
When we settle on either side of the table, I notice two extra plates. "Will the queen and king be joining us?"
Minho hides a smirk behind his fist. "Actually, I invited guests that I am most certain you will enjoy more than my parents."
"Oh?" My heart races. "No offense to your royal highnesses, of course."
"Oh, God forbid." Minho rises once again to proceed to his door say something to a handmaid outside.
I busy myself with the perfect feast laid before me, deciding which of the dishes is best to start with when--
"TAEMIN!" That shrill voice that I have been acquainted with for most of my existence, and is undoubtedly Kibum's, ricochets off the walls, and tramples my ear drums.
When I shoot up from my seat and spin around, I am back on the ground, being trampled by a heap of limbs that can only belong to two of my best friends. I do not know whether to breathe first or hug them tighter.
Jonghyun is the first to rise from the tangle, later prying Kibum off of me, and then helping me from the ground. Kibum is going a mile a minute about my clothes, while Jonghyun apprehends Kibum for neglecting to notice anything else, "Kibum, you don't see him for God knows how long and the first thing you inquire are the clothes on his back?"
"He looks stunning, Jonghyun! It is not his fault that I am so blinded by royalty fashion, when I have not been given many choices but to be by you and your commoner drab since he left!"
"You said you were fond of my brave choices in clothes!"
"The only thing brave about your choices is if they withstand a good burning."
"Anyone hungry?" I chirp in, clapping my hands to cease the banter.
Minho, who I did not even notice had already positioned himself by the table once more, clears his throat. "Please," He smiles, "have a seat."
Minho begins the night by making amends for the last time Jonghyun and Kibum had been to the palace for the festival of lights.
"It is all good and well, my lord." Kibum replies. "You are the prince, you have a schedule longer than all of ours' combined."
"Yes, we understand completely." Jonghyun adds through a mouthful of crab meat.
It's all pleasant enough. Jonghyun doesn't participate much in the conversation, his mouth fully acquainted with morsel after morsel, only permitting himself a smile between Kibum's quips. Of course Kibum gets most of his words in, while still effusive in protecting the food on his plate from Jonghyun's wandering chopsticks.
"And Taemin, how is your father?" Kibum asks, picking apart the bones of his fish, too distracted to notice the glare I am shooting him. He's in the midst of his second question, "has he been relea--" when Jonghyun not so subtly smacks him in the arm with the back of his hand.
"Jonghyun!"
"Forgive me, friend. I thought a mosquito had landed on your hand."
"Why did you hit me on the arm then, friend?" Kibum's voice strains through gritted teeth while Minho and I stare at them, myself much more worried.
"Should I have caught it, I didn't want its blood on my hands. I'm eating a meal set for royalty." Jonghyun explains simply, passing me a wink when Minho is sipping wine.
I shake my head and look away.
Idiots.
∞
"Come marriage, will that make Taemin a princess or…?"
"Oh sweet heavens, Kibum, really?" I cut in even before Minho can excuse himself for nearly choking on his steamed eel.
Minutes after recovering from Kibum's near slip earlier about my father, and me taking him aside at some point to get him up to speed on my father's status, he still goes on to ask the most ridiculous questions.
"I am genuinely curious!" Kibum pats his chest. "I merely want to assure that my best friend is in good hands."
"We have yet to discuss… the uhm… we…" Minho struggles, sneaking questioning looks at me while Kibum stares at Minho, hanging on to his every stutter, looking like he wants to choke the prince for an answer.
I place my hand over Minho's on the table, and return Kibum's stare, "I believe what Minho-- the young master is trying to convey is that it is too early to discuss such matters."
"Right, right." Kibum nods, still seemingly unsatisfied. But he reads my eyes, the way I am trying to fry his head with it. He clamps his mouth shut and goes back to his food.
I give Minho's hand a final squeeze, and then it's back to peace.
Until Kibum asks, "Oh, and I trust that you have only Taemin now, and have no more use for your concubines?"
I look up from my meal, squinting at Kibum's face, the way he looks back at Minho seriously, like he had not asked anything out of line.
"Quite the thorough investigator, aren't you?" Minho wipes his mouth with a napkin.
"I just have a healthy curiosity regarding the welfare of my friends. You can understand that, can't you, my lord?"
"That sounds fair." Minho answers. "And no, I've not invited any other than Taemin into my quarters since the festival of lights."
"Wow." I take a generous gulp of my wine. Minho might as well enumerate the positions we have consummated in, why not just go there, I mean, really?
"More wine, your grace?" Jonghyun addresses me while gesturing at the wine container.
"Shut up."
∞
"That was absolute shit." Admittedly, I drank much more than I am accustomed to tonight, and now I'm speaking past my filter as Minho helps me out of my garments and into something more comfortable for bed. I can't even stand on my feet without the effects of the wine swaying me to my knees.
"Taemin, put your hands away," Minho instructs, helping me slip out of my clothes, "and please stop being so self-deprecating. It was fine."
"Fine? My friends ate your food," Minho carried my legs up to the mattress. I sit up, continuing my speech while Minho, stands beside the bed, listening to me and releasing his hair from his ponytail. "drank your wine, and inquired about much more than necessary, and you just sat there and took it."
"To be fair, you drank most of the wine."
"I mean," I ignore him, "I've known Kibum to run his mouth, but he had no apprehension of self restraint, and did he call me a princess?"
"No, you're foxed, Taemin."
"You're foxed."
"You can do better than that."
"What are you doing?"
"Removing your slippers."
"Why?"
"I don't want you dirtying my sheets."
"But… you are a prince."
Minho removes both of my slippers and crawls on the bed, over me, forcing me to lie back down.
"Princes do not remove peasants' slippers for them."
"I do not see a peasant when I look at you."
"I wish I could reciprocate those sentiments."
Minho stretches up on his arms. "You call me a peasant?"
"No, no," My hands find purchase on his waist to lower him back down, "I only meant that, in my eyes, I never see you as anything but a prince.
"And I worry that this will wear off one day. What if like wine, you are merely intoxicated by the idea of me and my friends, and then in a fortnight, you will come to your senses, or sober up, finally realizing how I do not belong here."
Minho touches my face, "Listen to me, Taemin. I know that feeling, and not once have I worried about that with you. For God sake, I beckoned your friends for dinner here regardless of how I would feel about it because I know it would make you happy."
"You do not fool me." The warmth of Minho's body accompanied by the lightness of the alcohol floating in my head, cradles a hint of slumber curling between my eyes. "I know you. Being generous and selfless does not come without effort… for you." I yawn out the last few words.
And right before I fall asleep, I hear him answer, "It is easy with you."
∞
During the afternoon, with the sun just peeking through the clouds, Minho and I make use of the fields and practice our archery. He explains to me how now he accepts his defeat from the first day we had met, how if I were a real girl, I would not have stood a chance against him.
"My gender had nothing to do with it!" I protest, carrying my bag of arrows. "Skill is bequeathed unto those who work through thick and thin. And my father has taught me well."
"I'd like to meet your father someday."
I almost lose my grip on my bow. "What?"
"Your father. You speak so highly of this great man. I wish to gain his approval, which even if I feel is inevitable due my charisma, I understand the formalities and traditions and wish to earn every ounce of blessing from him."
"Yes," I arm my bow with an arrow, "perhaps someday."
"What about today?" Minho suggests.
My aim is thrown off and I miss the target entirely. Minho whistles at my terrible try, arming his own bow. His arrow lands three lines away from the center.
"We can go into town, you can show me the house you grew up in."
"I do not know, Minho. That… my father, he's a busy man."
"Too busy for the prince?"
"Uhm," I take another arrow from the pack. "I just think that if we meet with him, it should be scheduled well… do not fret, I will make all the arrangements."
"Very well." Minho shrugs. "Sometime this week?"
"Perhaps." I touch Minho's elbow and proper his posture to better his aim. "We'll see."
∞
Luckily, the following week, Minho spends mostly with his father, going through meetings with fellow comrades regarding political matters that Minho chooses to keep to himself. "It's all business. My father requires my presence for training purposes I suppose. I am the heir, after all."
I take the opportunity to spend time with my father, who has now moved out of the room in the palace and into a newly built house around the border, past the bridge of the garden. The location is beautiful. And my father tells me that recently he has been working in the kitchen, helping with the duties and being paid well. He likes being utilized so I congratulate him and just ask him to be careful this time.
We enjoy meals and conversation, mostly about how wonderful our life has become now. He tells me that he wants to visit home soon, just to sell the old house and retrieve the rest of our belongings. "And I guess it would not hurt to stop by the Kim's just to let them know that I am alive and well."
I accompany him on his trip, taking one of the carriages that the queen has graciously loaned us. We ride into town, stopping at the house first and collecting our things before heading out to Kibum's house. Not to my surprise, Jonghyun is there, lazing as he does, when we arrive.
Kibum's family, as well as Kibum and Jonghyun, welcome my father into his arms, offering to cook him food and maybe a set of spare clothes. My father explains the situation in the palace, saying how he wishes to repay all of their kindness with what he can from his earnings.
There is much discussion about his experience in the prison, and he likes to embellish, saying how I saved him. He saved himself down there, though. He kept himself alive.
When the sun is about to set, my father decides that it is best that we be on our way.
We fall asleep for the entire journey, only waking to the sound of the horse's hooves decreasing in speed when we approach the palace. My father instructs the way to the new house, and once there, we take our belongings and enter the house.
When my I light a candle at the entrance, I begin to unpack what I can and position them on the table next to the candle.
"Taemin," My father calls me from the door.
I jog to him, out of the house and the sight that greets me sends me back down to reality.
I see my father, Minho beside him. And even worse, Krystal stands behind him, grinning at me in a venomous way.
"Taemin, is this your father?"
My father's stare bounces from Minho to me, alternating. What was once butterflies in my stomach at the sight of Minho, turn into razor blades, scoring my insides. It is all the guilt and all the circumstances and all the lies and me not being stronger than my conscience. "Yes."
Minho turns to me, thinking. Distractedly, he asks me, "Is it true?"
I look at Krystal, who remains silent, smile still on her face like she has won. She probably has. "Is what true?"
"Don't play dumb with me."
"I'm not." I just need to know what exactly he's asking of me.
"Did you or did you not go through all of this trouble to have you and your father live in the palace permanently, as arranged by my mother?"
With the knowledge that this is probably the last time I will ever hear Minho speak so solemnly, have him look at me in the eyes, and keep himself civil, I do what is best for him because I realize that even without my conscience, I cannot lie to him anymore. "Yes."
Minho looks away suddenly, biting his whole lower lip and walking backward. He nods. "Okay. Alright, that is all I needed to know--"
"Minho--"
"How dare you address the prince by his first name!" Krystal objects, finally speaking.
I sidestep her, "I can explain everything much better, if you will just listen to me."
"I have heard enough." Minho says. "And I do not wish to waste anymore time. I wish to never speak to you again."
He spins around, Krystal following after him.
While I watch him walk away, my father nears me, wiping my face of tears I didn't even realize had rolled down. "Come inside, Taemin."
∞
If I had any pride to begin with, waiting on Minho outside of his door with Onew every morning contradicts what little I did.
There must be a gesture grander than being his shadow or a tail he cannot get rid of, but I cannot be creative when I am this desperate. I do not work well under pressure, I believe.
If I have to get down on my knees, I will. I follow him around, not earning even so much as a glance back. And he acts cold so well that at times I am starting to believe that he has lost all feelings for me all together. Just like that. But I know somewhere in him he still acknowledges my presence. I know that even if I pester him, he is comforted by the fact that I am here.
Onew tells me to hang in there. It's easier said than done.
The queen is unavailable for the next few weeks so I am unable to consult her regarding this new predicament. Everything is just falling apart.
And the one night that I garner the courage to burst into Minho's room like I used to, that one night that I am steps away from his door and Onew is nowhere to be found, is the one night I see shadows from behind the prince's door.
He's not alone in his room tonight. And I don't have to slide the door open to know who the second shadow belongs to.
I lose all confidence, all bases for suddenly being this courageous. I jog back to the garden, speeding up to a run, until my heart begins to race for other reasons, until I can make each beat forget.
∞
Early the next morning, I find Onew in front of Minho's room.
"He doesn't want me here?"
Onew has the decency to look away when he shakes his head and apologizes on behalf of the prince.
"Don't. This has nothing to do with you." I take a second to think. "Okay, Onew, can you just inform the prince that while my father will reside in our new residence here, I will be leaving the palace. And he will never see me again. And I just came by to tell him that."
Onew opens and closes his mouth a few times. He finally settles with, "Taemin, I find it unnecessary that you have to leave--"
"It's far from unnecessary." I say. "I have lied to him, and I do not deserve his trust anymore so I do not see why I should be reserved a space here if he doesn't… require me."
"Taemin…"
"It is fine. I will be fine." I walk back slowly, looking at Onew for the last time, then at the prince's door. "Please inform your highness as well."
Onew bows. "Of course."
∞
I am soaked in the rain when I reach Kibum's house. He refuses to hug me with his entire body but welcomes me in the house anyway. "Jonghyun's making us tea."
Once in a dry set of clothes, tea warming our hands, we stay up the whole night, huddled in blankets on the common room floor, talking about the events that had happened with Minho, the short to nonexistent goodbyes.
"And what did your father have to say about all of this?" Jonghyun asks.
"He allows me to do what I think is best. He says he trusts me and that I should visit." I say. "I don't want to be more of a bother to him. If I stayed there, I would only be in his way. He would have to worry about me and watch me crumble like fragile pastries, you know? I don't want him to have to deal with me being depressed over the prince."
"So you humbly bestow the responsibility on us?" Kibum jokes.
"The few who love me enough to embrace the challenge." I smile weakly at them.
Jonghyun rubs my arms to generate warmth. "I think you did the right thing."
"You do?"
"If I were in the same position, I would not have lied either. I mean, you were standing there with your father and everything was already out in the open. It was going to happen eventually."
"And you came and conquered." Kibum adds. "You came there to free your father, and you accomplished that, with flying colors. So, you should not be totally depressed."
"I know." It does feel somewhat lighter to have everything enumerated like that. "But the way he looked at me… he trusted me."
Jonghyun and Kibum pass each other knowing stares, then direct their attention back at me. "Taemin, you have done everything you could. Now, all you can do is wait."
∞
Father comes to visit every weekend. He bears food and all sorts of tales from the kitchen regarding the other staff and ridiculousness of it all.
"The queen sends her love. Also, Kim Heechul says you will be missed." My father says.
"It's like you died." Kibum comments while helping his sisters and his mother with cooking the meat my father brought over.
"How is… he?" I ask.
My father holds my hand. "He's doing well. He's been busying himself a lot with his classes and his father's trips."
"Oh, okay." I don't think I need to know more than that. Like if he asks about me at all. If he is losing sleep. If he still cares. My father could not possibly hold the answers as well. So I end all discussion about him as quickly as I brought it up.
∞
I go back to making my earnings through archery competitions. It works better now that everyone in town knows me from living in the palace. Kibum says some people talk about me, about the possibility of my games being fixed. I let it go because as soon as I ask for names I would probably make a mess of myself trying to show off.
Kibum's sisters and I get acquainted. They paint my face and like to dress me up, and although my opposition to it has subsided what with having played the role of a woman for months at the palace, does not mean that a little hesitation isn't in order. Kibum joins in sometimes. And Jonghyun likes to hit on me when I am in women's clothing, which I think is disgusting where he finds it comical.
The subject of Minho comes up even rarer as the months progress. It helps being surrounded by my best friends and their families. I am distracted for the most part of the day and I get to smile without forcing it out.
∞
"Who is it from?" Kibum asks after taking a bite of his apple. He takes a seat next to me at the table, eyeing the letter in my hands.
"My father."
"Well, open it."
I tear open into the envelope and unfold the letter. "He's inviting us to the palace for the queen and king's anniversary."
Kibum arches a brow while I browse through the letter.
"Well, have fun." I toss the letter on the table and stand up.
Naturally, Kibum grabs me by the arm and stops me. He sits me back down. "Hold on, princess. You cannot skip this."
"I do not see any note supplying this as mandatory."
"Your father is asking you to come."
"My father can visit me here when it is over."
"Do not do this to yourself."
"Do what?"
"Limit yourself, Taemin, because of him."
I grab Kibum's apple and throw it at the bin.
Kibum frowns. "Was that necessary?"
I pound at the table. "I don't want to go!"
"You child." Kibum tsks. "Fine, don't go. Disappoint your father, and the queen, and me. Do that so you can make the prince happy."
"You know you're being unfair right now, Kibum."
"It is what you're doing and you know it." Kibum replies. "It is just one night. It is a big place. Who knows if you are even going to run in to each other. There is going to be a feast and you'll enjoy it with your friends and family."
While in deep thought, Jonghyun, who I didn't even know was in the house, comes walking in from one of the rooms, "Did someone say a feast?"
∞
Two carriages arrive to accommodate myself, Jonghyun, Kibum, and their families. The closer we come to the palace, the lights glaring through the distance, the more I could not look out the window. Because the more I do, the more I imagine Minho somewhere in there, with Krystal and happily engaged, and it all but makes me jump out of the carriage and run home.
When we enter the palace gates, later stepping down at the entrance where maids greet us, the inside of the palace is lit up in gold, a long table designed with a procession of food and seats waiting to be filled.
We find my father among one of the seats at the side, and I am thankful that our table is separate from the royals. As it should be, of course.
We fill most of the seats at our table with Kibum's sisters alone. Kibum sits to my right, my father to my left, and we engage in a conversation about the beautification of the vicinity and the lavish people at the other tables.
Kibum shoves a roll in Jonghyun's gaping mouth when he follows Krystal's entrance with his stare of pure adoration. She is accompanied by her parents and a few handmaids, taking their place at the royal table.
That was much more difficult to watch than I expected. But then again, I am getting ahead of myself because the prince has not even arrived yet. Once he does, they are most probably going to sit side by side, ogling each other for the rest of the night. Why am I even here?
"That's them. The royal family." I hear Kibum whisper.
We all stand to attention, everyone in the room, when the three of them enter. And seeing the prince again, I cannot even stare at his profile for two seconds without looking away, extremely worried that he might turn my way and see me.
The event begins with a few words being spoken by the king, basically thanking people for taking their time to come out tonight. Since, as I have explained to Kibum earlier, none of this is mandatory. The king goes on to tell the story of him and the queen, how they were brought together by their families, how they have loved each other since.
When he ends the speech, a number of entertainers emerge to perform as we dine. Music plays from out of nowhere, so I decide to gear my head toward the direction of the music. And for some reason, my gaze lands on none other than the prince, squinting at me from his side of the table.
I look away immediately, burning in my skin.
"Hey, are you okay?" Kibum asks.
"He saw me. The prince saw me."
"Okay, okay. Settle down, Taemin."
"You swore that we would not cross paths."
"Woah, I didn't swear, Taemin, I predicted." Kibum corrects. "And will you relax? It's not as though he is going to come over here and--"
"Pardon me," says a handmaid who is standing behind us, "but the prince is requesting a word with you, Lee Taemin."
"Oh, heavens." Kibum deadpans.
"Follow me please." Says the handmaid.
I peer over my shoulder to steal a glance the prince, to see if he is watching this whole thing unfold, but when I do, he is gone from his seat. "Uhm,"
"Go." Kibum, commands.
"What?" I protest. "Why should I?"
"Because he wants to talk to you. And I know that you want to talk to him."
"But Kibum…"
"Whatever it takes, Taemin. Do whatever it takes."
"I'm sorry, but I am going to have to hurry you."
"Yes, okay, I'm… I'll go." I say, rising from my seat and excusing myself from the rest of the party.
How Kibum manages to smack my butt without anyone noticing, I cannot even concentrate on anymore as I follow the handmaid to the other exit.
∞
The garden is lit by lamps surrounding the lake, and in the middle of the grass where I once sat by myself, where I once took the prince to paint, there he stands, donning his finest garments, his eyes piercing even through the night.
The handmaid quickly leaves as soon as she brings me over. I stand there, not knowing what to expect. I must seem as afflicted and scared as I feel.
The prince takes his time scanning his eyes over me, just watching me from three feet, but at this point I am an open book. And I will do whatever it takes.
"Do you see that sword?" The prince asks me.
I glance over at the rock to my left, finding a sword in its case sitting atop it. While I still have my eyes on it, Minho says, "take it."
Wordlessly, I comply, freeing the blade from the case.
When the prince pushes his robe back, I see the sword that he has, and I watch as he takes it out, the blade blinding me momentarily as light bounces from the gleaming surface.
The prince takes the sword in both his hands, feet apart, a position I know far too well.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"What does it look like? Get into position."
"I'm not going to fight you."
"Get your sword ready, Taemin."
"Minho…"
He charges after me, the blade aimed for my face. I am quick to block the attack and take a step back, the blades clinking together for every time they cross.
"Stop." Clink. "it." Clink.
Minho spins and leans all of his weight on his right leg, bending down to let his sword sweep closer to the ground. I jump before contact takes place, recovering quickly to block his next move.
My back hits a tree and I duck when his sword nearing my neck sinks into the wood instead.
With his sword momentarily stuck, I kick him with just enough force that he falls on his back without his sword, and I follow, straddling him with his arms over his head, my other hand holding my sword at his Adam's apple.
"Will you listen to me now!?" I half shout, breathing labored.
Minho stares up at me, defiant. "Another apology, I presume."
I stare back, quiet for the next few beats. I release the sword but not his hands. "I love you."
Minho's eyes go impossibly round. I am unsure if this is because he has heard this one too many times, or he has not heard it enough.
"And what do I keep telling you about your stance and that elbow? I am trying to help you when I tell you how to fight properly, you never listen to me.
"It might have started with lies to get my father out of prison, but it ended with me realizing truths beyond my own comprehension. About myself. About you. I love you."
It goes silent again.
Minho looks away, contemplative and affronted. Without looking at me he asks, "What do you suggest I do with that?"
I release an exasperated sigh, loosening my grip and standing up. "I don't know."
I offer him a hand to lift him up. He merely stares at it dubiously for the next few seconds. I roll my eyes and grab his hand, helping him up anyway. He is so stubborn.
I spin around, dusting my clothes off with my hands so I may return to the dining hall with my friends.
I can hear leaves crunching beneath his feet as he follows me, but I do not dare look back.
"Do you mean that?" He asks suddenly.
"Are you serious--" I am halfway through spinning on my heel to face him, maybe push him, but I never get to because I am stunned to silence by his lips on mine.
Familiarity tingle my spine, ripples through my fingers stroking his hair. He is just as warm, just as tough, just as stubborn, and I decide that I do not want him any other way.
When he pries away from my lips for much needed air, we pant, foreheads connected.
Then I start laughing.
"What?" He asks, smiling, hands tightening on my back.
"I cannot believe you would lead me out here to sword fight when you are so terrible--"
He cuts me off again by kissing me, which I think is totally uncalled for, but at the same time, this is the one injustice I can live with.
∞
"I just want you to know that I forgive you, by the way." I say in Minho's arms, lying on his bed, hiding away from the crowd. My father is probably looking for me by now.
"For what?" We watch the lights from outside of Minho's window play shapes on the ceiling.
"For being reacquainted with Krystal."
"What?" Minho shifts from his space. "She simply advised me on your father and that I should be careful, nothing more."
"Come on."
"What?"
"I saw her shadow in your room."
"When?"
"Before I left."
"I didn't even know you left that day."
"Don't change the subject."
"For someone who has just been forgiven on account of three betrayals, you are really one to talk about forgiveness."
"I…" I stir on the mattress, scratching my nose. "Fine."
He tugs at the blanket to cover more of my bare shoulders when he senses me shiver from the cold.
"They're probably wondering where we are." I say to Minho, turning my head to face him.
"Which is why we should enjoy this." Minho shifts closer to me. "Before Kibum interrogates every one of my handmaids and bursts through my door in five minutes."
We laugh at the mere thought, but at the back of our minds, we are fairly certain that it is a valid probability.
∞
My father sidesteps, clumsily, through the living area of our new home, in order to avoid the train of Minho's impossible headdress.
When I saw him dress up earlier, Kim Heechul hard at work on his outfit, I could only stare dumbfounded. "I am meeting your father, and considering the last impression he has of me, I want to make sure that this is the impression that sticks."
"Oh, dressed like that, it'll stick alright," I commented that morning, to which Minho took as me being seriously in awe of his efforts. Although I was, I also found it tremendously superfluous.
Father lays the tea on the table, smiling cordially at Minho and me.
"So… sire, you're… a prince." Father begins the much needed exchange between parent and… lover?
In between the questions and responses are fistfuls of silences that leave all three of us sipping tea quietly. Then my father comes up with another question that he decides to ask, Minho answers, and then we're sipping tea again.
"Ugh!" The sliding door of the room behind my father is drawn back and there stands Kibum with a bored Jonghyun behind him. Minho and I stare blankly at Kibum, who decides to stomp into the room and join the table by my father's side. Father doesn't seem too surprised. "This is so boring! What are your intentions with his daughter?"
"Son." Father corrects.
"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to." Kibum interjects,
I shrug, "More like potato, mushroom."
"Do not change the subject just because you're the prince."
"I haven't said anything yet." Minho goes cross-eyed while eyeing Kibum's finger darted between his eyes.
"Precisely, now speak up."
"What?"
"Please don't point your finger at the prince like that." I swat Kibum's hand away.
While Jonghyun seems ambivalent as he takes a seat between father and Kibum to pour himself a cup of tea, Kibum goes on to ask some of the most ridiculous things that he might have seen his own father ask when one of his sisters brought boys over to their house.
"How are you planning to support Taemin?"
"… through my riches."
"Oh, so it's all about wealth with you?"
Despite being embarrassed for the rest of my life, I cannot help but be proud of my friends. So I just sit back and enjoy it, raising my cup of tea to clink with Jonghyun's.
Minho's got his work cut out for him. And this one in particular, he cannot challenge to an impromptu sword fight at the garden.
THE END
*masterficlist | tumblr | twitter | comment here to be added
-- so i believe an apology is in order
for the lateness of this fic.
i am very sorry you had to wait so
long for a ridiculous chapter
and please, there is no need
to tell me how lacking this is
for i will beat myself up everyday for it
on my own. tyvm. although, some
part of me is hoping that a small
amount of you did enjoy this.
and to that small amount, i say thank you.
and sorry to linnhe, as well for
the wait. this is way overdue. and
all of this is for her. <3
COMPLETE!
warning: one too many inaccuracies
with accordance to the traditions, detail and
dialogue (probably much more than this)
of the joseon period of korea. the plot is
completely and utterly fictional and does not
in any way suggest that any of the members of
SHINee engage in homosexual activities (i.e. cross
dressing((well)), sex with men, etc.) also, unbetad.
It takes me a minute to dwell in the emptiness of the bed, being tugged and swirled into my emotions from last night. And from there, my vehemence surges.
"How dare he?" I say to myself as I shuffle out of bed, clawing what undergarments are within reach and tearing into them in haste.
"How dare he?!" I secure the rest of the ensemble rather haphazardly, no longer bothering with my hair by the time I stomp out of Minho's quarters.
"How dare he," I mumble the rest of the way, ignoring handmaids who are greeting me as I pass, too caught in my own thoughts to care for now. I wrap my arms around my waist, pushing aside the memory of Minho's warm arms from last night.
I make it to the hallway where all of the classrooms are, peeking at each one, finding them empty. I finally reach the hall leading to the study and the moment I see Onew standing guard by the door, I am certain that Minho is in the room behind him.
"Good morning, my lady--"
"Not today, Onew."
I slide the door away, propelling the wood to bang against the frame. It startles Minho, his back to turned to me as he stops from painting, gradually turning on his heel while cleaning his brush in a jar of water.
"How DARE you!" I point at him before I can doubt myself.
He doesn't even flinch.
I step into the room, wiping my hair away from my face. "Let's get one thing straight, Minho! I am not your whore and I do not deserve to be treated as such!"
"Ladies, will you give us a moment." Is the last thing I expect to hear from Minho. I follow his gaze and find three handmaids sitting by the window sill where the light catches them perfectly, retracting from their previous poses.
Oh. I wrap myself in my arms again and bow to each one as they make their exit.
"I didn't know you had company--"
Minho swoops in with his mouth and his ridiculously strong arms, kissing my words back into my throat. I clutch at his sleeves, undecided as to whether I should push him or pull him closer.
"Perhaps I should have left a note." He pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. I suppress a shiver by grinding my teeth together.
"A note would have sufficed, yes." I decide to reply with, creating even a miniscule amount of distance between us.
"I suppose your delightful presence here is with regards to thanking me."
"To thank you for what?" I arch a brow.
"For the events that took place in my quarters last night." Minho states without malice, clearly already forgetting the announcement I entered with. "And you're welcome."
"Egotistical as you are, I hope that you believe me when I say that that cannot be farther from the truth, young master."
"Oh?"
"I came here to inform you that--"
"You're not a whore?" He grins.
"Yes." My answer comes clipped. "And now that I have said my peace, I shall leave you to your… painting."
"Taeyeon." I stop right as I am about to reach for the door. "I wish you would look at me as I say this."
Well, since he wishes it. I comply, if not slightly embarrassed.
"I apologize." It doesn’t even sound forced. That surprises me most of all. "For making you feel as though you needed to clarify that with me. I never intended such a misconception. I… I apologize." He ends awkwardly, playing with the fabric around his waist.
And even with the set of lies that I am tangled in, I feel a weight being lifted from me. "I accept. Your apology. Thank you."
The corner of his mouth curls into the most beautiful smile of relief and satisfaction that I have ever seen. With that, he walks toward me, and this time, I am rooted to my spot.
He touches my lips with his, fingers rake through my hair. He departs from my lips to whisper into my ear, "Of all the lace and garments I've seen you in, my favorite is this; seeing you stripped down and carrying my scent."
He kisses me again but this time, I pull him in, standing on my tiptoes to match his efforts.
∞
Days after, the queen requests my presence in the common area. And the first thing she does when she sees me is kiss me on both cheeks gleefully.
"I've gotten wind of your consummation, bravo!"
I tense up in her arms, blinking repeatedly. I am sure that she said what I think she just said, but at the same time… oh god, why?
And for the rest of the morning, she thanks me, offers me lavish gifts that I continuously refuse politely. Seeing her so happy as a result of her son's happiness causes me to be slightly uneasy. I'm thinking of my father, how he is, and what he has been doing to get accustomed to his chains.
Which is when the queen decides to hurry me out of the common room and into the hall. She goes on to tell me more about Minho, how she always had inkling about his preferences and was worried that he felt isolated because of it. "He will have never let me know. I just want him to be happy."
I can only smile and nod in agreement. Maybe I understand because in a way, I want the same thing.
She leads me to a door of one of the guest rooms, instructing a handmaid to slide the door open. And when she does, I see none other than my father, feasting in bed albeit weakly. I almost fall to my knees.
"Taemin?" Father rasps, setting his food aside. "Taemin, my boy. I'd run to you, but I've got my hands full here."
I laugh breathlessly, dashing through the room to get to him. I vaguely recognize the queen leaving us alone when the door closes back shut.
Father and I catch up. He speaks about the queen and how she bowed down in apology. They discussed the arrangements, about their new place in the palace. I am near tears when he holds me in his arms and says, "Thank you, Taemin. You've done it. You can rest easy now."
∞
When the night shapes the sky, Minho marches into my room, unmistakable fury in his eyes.
I rise from my chair, setting my book down.
When we lock eyes, he seems shocked for some reason. His eyes roam over me, casually leading back up to my face. "I have never seen you outside of your hanbok."
And it dawns on me how I'm in my regular garments, hair in a bun, rid of face paint. I am tempted to shield myself with my arms, futile as it may seem. However, the way he stares at me leaves me feeling even smaller. "I wasn't expecting you."
Minho averts his gaze, shifting on his feet. He plants his hands on his waist and exhales. "I had an interesting conversation with mother this afternoon."
The hairs on my nape rise to attention. I know where this is going. Though scared, I am somewhat relieved. We might as well have this conversation now; get this half of the caveat relinquished. "Interesting how?"
"Apparently she was more than aware about your… machismo."
It's not hard to laugh when I know he's so serious. I grind my teeth together and nod.
"And she informs me that you are, too."
I stare at him. "I am aware of my… machismo, yes."
"No." Minho shook his head furiously. "I was pertaining to this scheme you hatched with the one person I thought I could trust due to maternal reasons and familial reasons and obviously this is a dirty world where I can trust absolutely no one."
"Minho, please--"
"No!" Minho darts a finger at me. He's so childish. "I redact your rights to my first name! You shall return to calling me young master!"
"Okay," I shrug, "young master. I'm sorry."
"You're always sorry."
"I have many mistakes." I say. "But I swear to you, it was not a scheme against you. I… I learned so much about you and have come to see you as someone else entirely because of what I have done, and I am so sorry that you feel betrayed.
"But I am not sorry for getting close to you," I take a step closer, "or knowing you the way that I do."
Minho crosses his arms, afflicted. I take the last few steps to get to him, holding his wrists and prying his arms open.
"And although you have met some of my low expectations, on some level, you have also surpassed them." I don't know anymore, to be frank, who is fooling whom. If what I am saying are words gifted by the laws of having to, or because of wanting to. And to think about so much in so little time is troublesome and will propel me nowhere, when the only place I truly want to be is here. "And if I have to scheme for everyday that I am allowed a moment with you, then I will plan day and night, one maniacal con after the other."
After a while, Minho decides to respond, "You're getting better at apologies."
"Or perhaps you're not as impenetrable as you think you are."
"How DARE you!" He mimics my impromptu outburst from a few days back, a joke that he has developed a liking for because it makes me flush and hit him on the arm.
"But that is all of it? No more schemes, no more lies?"
I tense up, staring at him with my head angled back. I know that Minho is not a boy, although he may act like one at times. I know that he is not an idiot either. I know that he deserves every bit of truth. But I also know that he deserves the truth at the right place and time. And with today and all that has happened, it can wait. The whole world can wait.
And for once, I allow myself some decadence. "No more."
"Are you certain?"
He gives me a long hard look that I cannot avoid. "My real name is Taemin."
He squints, smile slowly forming on his lips. "Taemin?"
"Yes." I smile back. "Now, I am certain."
"Alright. I believe you." Minho takes a step back. "I'll leave you to your reading. Taemin."
On his way to the door, I say to his back, "Can I call you Minho again, young master?"
"Only in my quarters."
"You pig."
"How DARE you!"
I toss a cushion at his back, subconsciously initiating a fluffy war for the entirety of the night.
∞
No matter how much of a maiden this will make me sound, I never knew happiness like this. So, I'm willing to disregard my resentment for being known for my feminine looks. If it gets me days and nights of being Minho's muse, then I'll take pride in this identity.
One night, Minho asks me to join him for dinner in his quarters. Scandalous as the idea once was to me, we have been doing this for days, weeks even, I have honestly lost count. I walk back into my room and find a set of clothing meant for males such as myself, newly delivered with a note by Kim Heechul himself.
I inspect the intricate fabric, every thread designed for royalty.
A handmaid escorts me to Minho's room, leaving by the time she closes the door. Minho eyes me with pride, approaching to greet me by the door. "I have yet to witness you in something that will not stop me in my tracks."
"You'll be waiting a long time, young master."
"Cheeky."
When we settle on either side of the table, I notice two extra plates. "Will the queen and king be joining us?"
Minho hides a smirk behind his fist. "Actually, I invited guests that I am most certain you will enjoy more than my parents."
"Oh?" My heart races. "No offense to your royal highnesses, of course."
"Oh, God forbid." Minho rises once again to proceed to his door say something to a handmaid outside.
I busy myself with the perfect feast laid before me, deciding which of the dishes is best to start with when--
"TAEMIN!" That shrill voice that I have been acquainted with for most of my existence, and is undoubtedly Kibum's, ricochets off the walls, and tramples my ear drums.
When I shoot up from my seat and spin around, I am back on the ground, being trampled by a heap of limbs that can only belong to two of my best friends. I do not know whether to breathe first or hug them tighter.
Jonghyun is the first to rise from the tangle, later prying Kibum off of me, and then helping me from the ground. Kibum is going a mile a minute about my clothes, while Jonghyun apprehends Kibum for neglecting to notice anything else, "Kibum, you don't see him for God knows how long and the first thing you inquire are the clothes on his back?"
"He looks stunning, Jonghyun! It is not his fault that I am so blinded by royalty fashion, when I have not been given many choices but to be by you and your commoner drab since he left!"
"You said you were fond of my brave choices in clothes!"
"The only thing brave about your choices is if they withstand a good burning."
"Anyone hungry?" I chirp in, clapping my hands to cease the banter.
Minho, who I did not even notice had already positioned himself by the table once more, clears his throat. "Please," He smiles, "have a seat."
Minho begins the night by making amends for the last time Jonghyun and Kibum had been to the palace for the festival of lights.
"It is all good and well, my lord." Kibum replies. "You are the prince, you have a schedule longer than all of ours' combined."
"Yes, we understand completely." Jonghyun adds through a mouthful of crab meat.
It's all pleasant enough. Jonghyun doesn't participate much in the conversation, his mouth fully acquainted with morsel after morsel, only permitting himself a smile between Kibum's quips. Of course Kibum gets most of his words in, while still effusive in protecting the food on his plate from Jonghyun's wandering chopsticks.
"And Taemin, how is your father?" Kibum asks, picking apart the bones of his fish, too distracted to notice the glare I am shooting him. He's in the midst of his second question, "has he been relea--" when Jonghyun not so subtly smacks him in the arm with the back of his hand.
"Jonghyun!"
"Forgive me, friend. I thought a mosquito had landed on your hand."
"Why did you hit me on the arm then, friend?" Kibum's voice strains through gritted teeth while Minho and I stare at them, myself much more worried.
"Should I have caught it, I didn't want its blood on my hands. I'm eating a meal set for royalty." Jonghyun explains simply, passing me a wink when Minho is sipping wine.
I shake my head and look away.
Idiots.
∞
"Come marriage, will that make Taemin a princess or…?"
"Oh sweet heavens, Kibum, really?" I cut in even before Minho can excuse himself for nearly choking on his steamed eel.
Minutes after recovering from Kibum's near slip earlier about my father, and me taking him aside at some point to get him up to speed on my father's status, he still goes on to ask the most ridiculous questions.
"I am genuinely curious!" Kibum pats his chest. "I merely want to assure that my best friend is in good hands."
"We have yet to discuss… the uhm… we…" Minho struggles, sneaking questioning looks at me while Kibum stares at Minho, hanging on to his every stutter, looking like he wants to choke the prince for an answer.
I place my hand over Minho's on the table, and return Kibum's stare, "I believe what Minho-- the young master is trying to convey is that it is too early to discuss such matters."
"Right, right." Kibum nods, still seemingly unsatisfied. But he reads my eyes, the way I am trying to fry his head with it. He clamps his mouth shut and goes back to his food.
I give Minho's hand a final squeeze, and then it's back to peace.
Until Kibum asks, "Oh, and I trust that you have only Taemin now, and have no more use for your concubines?"
I look up from my meal, squinting at Kibum's face, the way he looks back at Minho seriously, like he had not asked anything out of line.
"Quite the thorough investigator, aren't you?" Minho wipes his mouth with a napkin.
"I just have a healthy curiosity regarding the welfare of my friends. You can understand that, can't you, my lord?"
"That sounds fair." Minho answers. "And no, I've not invited any other than Taemin into my quarters since the festival of lights."
"Wow." I take a generous gulp of my wine. Minho might as well enumerate the positions we have consummated in, why not just go there, I mean, really?
"More wine, your grace?" Jonghyun addresses me while gesturing at the wine container.
"Shut up."
∞
"That was absolute shit." Admittedly, I drank much more than I am accustomed to tonight, and now I'm speaking past my filter as Minho helps me out of my garments and into something more comfortable for bed. I can't even stand on my feet without the effects of the wine swaying me to my knees.
"Taemin, put your hands away," Minho instructs, helping me slip out of my clothes, "and please stop being so self-deprecating. It was fine."
"Fine? My friends ate your food," Minho carried my legs up to the mattress. I sit up, continuing my speech while Minho, stands beside the bed, listening to me and releasing his hair from his ponytail. "drank your wine, and inquired about much more than necessary, and you just sat there and took it."
"To be fair, you drank most of the wine."
"I mean," I ignore him, "I've known Kibum to run his mouth, but he had no apprehension of self restraint, and did he call me a princess?"
"No, you're foxed, Taemin."
"You're foxed."
"You can do better than that."
"What are you doing?"
"Removing your slippers."
"Why?"
"I don't want you dirtying my sheets."
"But… you are a prince."
Minho removes both of my slippers and crawls on the bed, over me, forcing me to lie back down.
"Princes do not remove peasants' slippers for them."
"I do not see a peasant when I look at you."
"I wish I could reciprocate those sentiments."
Minho stretches up on his arms. "You call me a peasant?"
"No, no," My hands find purchase on his waist to lower him back down, "I only meant that, in my eyes, I never see you as anything but a prince.
"And I worry that this will wear off one day. What if like wine, you are merely intoxicated by the idea of me and my friends, and then in a fortnight, you will come to your senses, or sober up, finally realizing how I do not belong here."
Minho touches my face, "Listen to me, Taemin. I know that feeling, and not once have I worried about that with you. For God sake, I beckoned your friends for dinner here regardless of how I would feel about it because I know it would make you happy."
"You do not fool me." The warmth of Minho's body accompanied by the lightness of the alcohol floating in my head, cradles a hint of slumber curling between my eyes. "I know you. Being generous and selfless does not come without effort… for you." I yawn out the last few words.
And right before I fall asleep, I hear him answer, "It is easy with you."
∞
During the afternoon, with the sun just peeking through the clouds, Minho and I make use of the fields and practice our archery. He explains to me how now he accepts his defeat from the first day we had met, how if I were a real girl, I would not have stood a chance against him.
"My gender had nothing to do with it!" I protest, carrying my bag of arrows. "Skill is bequeathed unto those who work through thick and thin. And my father has taught me well."
"I'd like to meet your father someday."
I almost lose my grip on my bow. "What?"
"Your father. You speak so highly of this great man. I wish to gain his approval, which even if I feel is inevitable due my charisma, I understand the formalities and traditions and wish to earn every ounce of blessing from him."
"Yes," I arm my bow with an arrow, "perhaps someday."
"What about today?" Minho suggests.
My aim is thrown off and I miss the target entirely. Minho whistles at my terrible try, arming his own bow. His arrow lands three lines away from the center.
"We can go into town, you can show me the house you grew up in."
"I do not know, Minho. That… my father, he's a busy man."
"Too busy for the prince?"
"Uhm," I take another arrow from the pack. "I just think that if we meet with him, it should be scheduled well… do not fret, I will make all the arrangements."
"Very well." Minho shrugs. "Sometime this week?"
"Perhaps." I touch Minho's elbow and proper his posture to better his aim. "We'll see."
∞
Luckily, the following week, Minho spends mostly with his father, going through meetings with fellow comrades regarding political matters that Minho chooses to keep to himself. "It's all business. My father requires my presence for training purposes I suppose. I am the heir, after all."
I take the opportunity to spend time with my father, who has now moved out of the room in the palace and into a newly built house around the border, past the bridge of the garden. The location is beautiful. And my father tells me that recently he has been working in the kitchen, helping with the duties and being paid well. He likes being utilized so I congratulate him and just ask him to be careful this time.
We enjoy meals and conversation, mostly about how wonderful our life has become now. He tells me that he wants to visit home soon, just to sell the old house and retrieve the rest of our belongings. "And I guess it would not hurt to stop by the Kim's just to let them know that I am alive and well."
I accompany him on his trip, taking one of the carriages that the queen has graciously loaned us. We ride into town, stopping at the house first and collecting our things before heading out to Kibum's house. Not to my surprise, Jonghyun is there, lazing as he does, when we arrive.
Kibum's family, as well as Kibum and Jonghyun, welcome my father into his arms, offering to cook him food and maybe a set of spare clothes. My father explains the situation in the palace, saying how he wishes to repay all of their kindness with what he can from his earnings.
There is much discussion about his experience in the prison, and he likes to embellish, saying how I saved him. He saved himself down there, though. He kept himself alive.
When the sun is about to set, my father decides that it is best that we be on our way.
We fall asleep for the entire journey, only waking to the sound of the horse's hooves decreasing in speed when we approach the palace. My father instructs the way to the new house, and once there, we take our belongings and enter the house.
When my I light a candle at the entrance, I begin to unpack what I can and position them on the table next to the candle.
"Taemin," My father calls me from the door.
I jog to him, out of the house and the sight that greets me sends me back down to reality.
I see my father, Minho beside him. And even worse, Krystal stands behind him, grinning at me in a venomous way.
"Taemin, is this your father?"
My father's stare bounces from Minho to me, alternating. What was once butterflies in my stomach at the sight of Minho, turn into razor blades, scoring my insides. It is all the guilt and all the circumstances and all the lies and me not being stronger than my conscience. "Yes."
Minho turns to me, thinking. Distractedly, he asks me, "Is it true?"
I look at Krystal, who remains silent, smile still on her face like she has won. She probably has. "Is what true?"
"Don't play dumb with me."
"I'm not." I just need to know what exactly he's asking of me.
"Did you or did you not go through all of this trouble to have you and your father live in the palace permanently, as arranged by my mother?"
With the knowledge that this is probably the last time I will ever hear Minho speak so solemnly, have him look at me in the eyes, and keep himself civil, I do what is best for him because I realize that even without my conscience, I cannot lie to him anymore. "Yes."
Minho looks away suddenly, biting his whole lower lip and walking backward. He nods. "Okay. Alright, that is all I needed to know--"
"Minho--"
"How dare you address the prince by his first name!" Krystal objects, finally speaking.
I sidestep her, "I can explain everything much better, if you will just listen to me."
"I have heard enough." Minho says. "And I do not wish to waste anymore time. I wish to never speak to you again."
He spins around, Krystal following after him.
While I watch him walk away, my father nears me, wiping my face of tears I didn't even realize had rolled down. "Come inside, Taemin."
∞
If I had any pride to begin with, waiting on Minho outside of his door with Onew every morning contradicts what little I did.
There must be a gesture grander than being his shadow or a tail he cannot get rid of, but I cannot be creative when I am this desperate. I do not work well under pressure, I believe.
If I have to get down on my knees, I will. I follow him around, not earning even so much as a glance back. And he acts cold so well that at times I am starting to believe that he has lost all feelings for me all together. Just like that. But I know somewhere in him he still acknowledges my presence. I know that even if I pester him, he is comforted by the fact that I am here.
Onew tells me to hang in there. It's easier said than done.
The queen is unavailable for the next few weeks so I am unable to consult her regarding this new predicament. Everything is just falling apart.
And the one night that I garner the courage to burst into Minho's room like I used to, that one night that I am steps away from his door and Onew is nowhere to be found, is the one night I see shadows from behind the prince's door.
He's not alone in his room tonight. And I don't have to slide the door open to know who the second shadow belongs to.
I lose all confidence, all bases for suddenly being this courageous. I jog back to the garden, speeding up to a run, until my heart begins to race for other reasons, until I can make each beat forget.
∞
Early the next morning, I find Onew in front of Minho's room.
"He doesn't want me here?"
Onew has the decency to look away when he shakes his head and apologizes on behalf of the prince.
"Don't. This has nothing to do with you." I take a second to think. "Okay, Onew, can you just inform the prince that while my father will reside in our new residence here, I will be leaving the palace. And he will never see me again. And I just came by to tell him that."
Onew opens and closes his mouth a few times. He finally settles with, "Taemin, I find it unnecessary that you have to leave--"
"It's far from unnecessary." I say. "I have lied to him, and I do not deserve his trust anymore so I do not see why I should be reserved a space here if he doesn't… require me."
"Taemin…"
"It is fine. I will be fine." I walk back slowly, looking at Onew for the last time, then at the prince's door. "Please inform your highness as well."
Onew bows. "Of course."
∞
I am soaked in the rain when I reach Kibum's house. He refuses to hug me with his entire body but welcomes me in the house anyway. "Jonghyun's making us tea."
Once in a dry set of clothes, tea warming our hands, we stay up the whole night, huddled in blankets on the common room floor, talking about the events that had happened with Minho, the short to nonexistent goodbyes.
"And what did your father have to say about all of this?" Jonghyun asks.
"He allows me to do what I think is best. He says he trusts me and that I should visit." I say. "I don't want to be more of a bother to him. If I stayed there, I would only be in his way. He would have to worry about me and watch me crumble like fragile pastries, you know? I don't want him to have to deal with me being depressed over the prince."
"So you humbly bestow the responsibility on us?" Kibum jokes.
"The few who love me enough to embrace the challenge." I smile weakly at them.
Jonghyun rubs my arms to generate warmth. "I think you did the right thing."
"You do?"
"If I were in the same position, I would not have lied either. I mean, you were standing there with your father and everything was already out in the open. It was going to happen eventually."
"And you came and conquered." Kibum adds. "You came there to free your father, and you accomplished that, with flying colors. So, you should not be totally depressed."
"I know." It does feel somewhat lighter to have everything enumerated like that. "But the way he looked at me… he trusted me."
Jonghyun and Kibum pass each other knowing stares, then direct their attention back at me. "Taemin, you have done everything you could. Now, all you can do is wait."
∞
Father comes to visit every weekend. He bears food and all sorts of tales from the kitchen regarding the other staff and ridiculousness of it all.
"The queen sends her love. Also, Kim Heechul says you will be missed." My father says.
"It's like you died." Kibum comments while helping his sisters and his mother with cooking the meat my father brought over.
"How is… he?" I ask.
My father holds my hand. "He's doing well. He's been busying himself a lot with his classes and his father's trips."
"Oh, okay." I don't think I need to know more than that. Like if he asks about me at all. If he is losing sleep. If he still cares. My father could not possibly hold the answers as well. So I end all discussion about him as quickly as I brought it up.
∞
I go back to making my earnings through archery competitions. It works better now that everyone in town knows me from living in the palace. Kibum says some people talk about me, about the possibility of my games being fixed. I let it go because as soon as I ask for names I would probably make a mess of myself trying to show off.
Kibum's sisters and I get acquainted. They paint my face and like to dress me up, and although my opposition to it has subsided what with having played the role of a woman for months at the palace, does not mean that a little hesitation isn't in order. Kibum joins in sometimes. And Jonghyun likes to hit on me when I am in women's clothing, which I think is disgusting where he finds it comical.
The subject of Minho comes up even rarer as the months progress. It helps being surrounded by my best friends and their families. I am distracted for the most part of the day and I get to smile without forcing it out.
∞
"Who is it from?" Kibum asks after taking a bite of his apple. He takes a seat next to me at the table, eyeing the letter in my hands.
"My father."
"Well, open it."
I tear open into the envelope and unfold the letter. "He's inviting us to the palace for the queen and king's anniversary."
Kibum arches a brow while I browse through the letter.
"Well, have fun." I toss the letter on the table and stand up.
Naturally, Kibum grabs me by the arm and stops me. He sits me back down. "Hold on, princess. You cannot skip this."
"I do not see any note supplying this as mandatory."
"Your father is asking you to come."
"My father can visit me here when it is over."
"Do not do this to yourself."
"Do what?"
"Limit yourself, Taemin, because of him."
I grab Kibum's apple and throw it at the bin.
Kibum frowns. "Was that necessary?"
I pound at the table. "I don't want to go!"
"You child." Kibum tsks. "Fine, don't go. Disappoint your father, and the queen, and me. Do that so you can make the prince happy."
"You know you're being unfair right now, Kibum."
"It is what you're doing and you know it." Kibum replies. "It is just one night. It is a big place. Who knows if you are even going to run in to each other. There is going to be a feast and you'll enjoy it with your friends and family."
While in deep thought, Jonghyun, who I didn't even know was in the house, comes walking in from one of the rooms, "Did someone say a feast?"
∞
Two carriages arrive to accommodate myself, Jonghyun, Kibum, and their families. The closer we come to the palace, the lights glaring through the distance, the more I could not look out the window. Because the more I do, the more I imagine Minho somewhere in there, with Krystal and happily engaged, and it all but makes me jump out of the carriage and run home.
When we enter the palace gates, later stepping down at the entrance where maids greet us, the inside of the palace is lit up in gold, a long table designed with a procession of food and seats waiting to be filled.
We find my father among one of the seats at the side, and I am thankful that our table is separate from the royals. As it should be, of course.
We fill most of the seats at our table with Kibum's sisters alone. Kibum sits to my right, my father to my left, and we engage in a conversation about the beautification of the vicinity and the lavish people at the other tables.
Kibum shoves a roll in Jonghyun's gaping mouth when he follows Krystal's entrance with his stare of pure adoration. She is accompanied by her parents and a few handmaids, taking their place at the royal table.
That was much more difficult to watch than I expected. But then again, I am getting ahead of myself because the prince has not even arrived yet. Once he does, they are most probably going to sit side by side, ogling each other for the rest of the night. Why am I even here?
"That's them. The royal family." I hear Kibum whisper.
We all stand to attention, everyone in the room, when the three of them enter. And seeing the prince again, I cannot even stare at his profile for two seconds without looking away, extremely worried that he might turn my way and see me.
The event begins with a few words being spoken by the king, basically thanking people for taking their time to come out tonight. Since, as I have explained to Kibum earlier, none of this is mandatory. The king goes on to tell the story of him and the queen, how they were brought together by their families, how they have loved each other since.
When he ends the speech, a number of entertainers emerge to perform as we dine. Music plays from out of nowhere, so I decide to gear my head toward the direction of the music. And for some reason, my gaze lands on none other than the prince, squinting at me from his side of the table.
I look away immediately, burning in my skin.
"Hey, are you okay?" Kibum asks.
"He saw me. The prince saw me."
"Okay, okay. Settle down, Taemin."
"You swore that we would not cross paths."
"Woah, I didn't swear, Taemin, I predicted." Kibum corrects. "And will you relax? It's not as though he is going to come over here and--"
"Pardon me," says a handmaid who is standing behind us, "but the prince is requesting a word with you, Lee Taemin."
"Oh, heavens." Kibum deadpans.
"Follow me please." Says the handmaid.
I peer over my shoulder to steal a glance the prince, to see if he is watching this whole thing unfold, but when I do, he is gone from his seat. "Uhm,"
"Go." Kibum, commands.
"What?" I protest. "Why should I?"
"Because he wants to talk to you. And I know that you want to talk to him."
"But Kibum…"
"Whatever it takes, Taemin. Do whatever it takes."
"I'm sorry, but I am going to have to hurry you."
"Yes, okay, I'm… I'll go." I say, rising from my seat and excusing myself from the rest of the party.
How Kibum manages to smack my butt without anyone noticing, I cannot even concentrate on anymore as I follow the handmaid to the other exit.
∞
The garden is lit by lamps surrounding the lake, and in the middle of the grass where I once sat by myself, where I once took the prince to paint, there he stands, donning his finest garments, his eyes piercing even through the night.
The handmaid quickly leaves as soon as she brings me over. I stand there, not knowing what to expect. I must seem as afflicted and scared as I feel.
The prince takes his time scanning his eyes over me, just watching me from three feet, but at this point I am an open book. And I will do whatever it takes.
"Do you see that sword?" The prince asks me.
I glance over at the rock to my left, finding a sword in its case sitting atop it. While I still have my eyes on it, Minho says, "take it."
Wordlessly, I comply, freeing the blade from the case.
When the prince pushes his robe back, I see the sword that he has, and I watch as he takes it out, the blade blinding me momentarily as light bounces from the gleaming surface.
The prince takes the sword in both his hands, feet apart, a position I know far too well.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"What does it look like? Get into position."
"I'm not going to fight you."
"Get your sword ready, Taemin."
"Minho…"
He charges after me, the blade aimed for my face. I am quick to block the attack and take a step back, the blades clinking together for every time they cross.
"Stop." Clink. "it." Clink.
Minho spins and leans all of his weight on his right leg, bending down to let his sword sweep closer to the ground. I jump before contact takes place, recovering quickly to block his next move.
My back hits a tree and I duck when his sword nearing my neck sinks into the wood instead.
With his sword momentarily stuck, I kick him with just enough force that he falls on his back without his sword, and I follow, straddling him with his arms over his head, my other hand holding my sword at his Adam's apple.
"Will you listen to me now!?" I half shout, breathing labored.
Minho stares up at me, defiant. "Another apology, I presume."
I stare back, quiet for the next few beats. I release the sword but not his hands. "I love you."
Minho's eyes go impossibly round. I am unsure if this is because he has heard this one too many times, or he has not heard it enough.
"And what do I keep telling you about your stance and that elbow? I am trying to help you when I tell you how to fight properly, you never listen to me.
"It might have started with lies to get my father out of prison, but it ended with me realizing truths beyond my own comprehension. About myself. About you. I love you."
It goes silent again.
Minho looks away, contemplative and affronted. Without looking at me he asks, "What do you suggest I do with that?"
I release an exasperated sigh, loosening my grip and standing up. "I don't know."
I offer him a hand to lift him up. He merely stares at it dubiously for the next few seconds. I roll my eyes and grab his hand, helping him up anyway. He is so stubborn.
I spin around, dusting my clothes off with my hands so I may return to the dining hall with my friends.
I can hear leaves crunching beneath his feet as he follows me, but I do not dare look back.
"Do you mean that?" He asks suddenly.
"Are you serious--" I am halfway through spinning on my heel to face him, maybe push him, but I never get to because I am stunned to silence by his lips on mine.
Familiarity tingle my spine, ripples through my fingers stroking his hair. He is just as warm, just as tough, just as stubborn, and I decide that I do not want him any other way.
When he pries away from my lips for much needed air, we pant, foreheads connected.
Then I start laughing.
"What?" He asks, smiling, hands tightening on my back.
"I cannot believe you would lead me out here to sword fight when you are so terrible--"
He cuts me off again by kissing me, which I think is totally uncalled for, but at the same time, this is the one injustice I can live with.
∞
"I just want you to know that I forgive you, by the way." I say in Minho's arms, lying on his bed, hiding away from the crowd. My father is probably looking for me by now.
"For what?" We watch the lights from outside of Minho's window play shapes on the ceiling.
"For being reacquainted with Krystal."
"What?" Minho shifts from his space. "She simply advised me on your father and that I should be careful, nothing more."
"Come on."
"What?"
"I saw her shadow in your room."
"When?"
"Before I left."
"I didn't even know you left that day."
"Don't change the subject."
"For someone who has just been forgiven on account of three betrayals, you are really one to talk about forgiveness."
"I…" I stir on the mattress, scratching my nose. "Fine."
He tugs at the blanket to cover more of my bare shoulders when he senses me shiver from the cold.
"They're probably wondering where we are." I say to Minho, turning my head to face him.
"Which is why we should enjoy this." Minho shifts closer to me. "Before Kibum interrogates every one of my handmaids and bursts through my door in five minutes."
We laugh at the mere thought, but at the back of our minds, we are fairly certain that it is a valid probability.
∞
My father sidesteps, clumsily, through the living area of our new home, in order to avoid the train of Minho's impossible headdress.
When I saw him dress up earlier, Kim Heechul hard at work on his outfit, I could only stare dumbfounded. "I am meeting your father, and considering the last impression he has of me, I want to make sure that this is the impression that sticks."
"Oh, dressed like that, it'll stick alright," I commented that morning, to which Minho took as me being seriously in awe of his efforts. Although I was, I also found it tremendously superfluous.
Father lays the tea on the table, smiling cordially at Minho and me.
"So… sire, you're… a prince." Father begins the much needed exchange between parent and… lover?
In between the questions and responses are fistfuls of silences that leave all three of us sipping tea quietly. Then my father comes up with another question that he decides to ask, Minho answers, and then we're sipping tea again.
"Ugh!" The sliding door of the room behind my father is drawn back and there stands Kibum with a bored Jonghyun behind him. Minho and I stare blankly at Kibum, who decides to stomp into the room and join the table by my father's side. Father doesn't seem too surprised. "This is so boring! What are your intentions with his daughter?"
"Son." Father corrects.
"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to." Kibum interjects,
I shrug, "More like potato, mushroom."
"Do not change the subject just because you're the prince."
"I haven't said anything yet." Minho goes cross-eyed while eyeing Kibum's finger darted between his eyes.
"Precisely, now speak up."
"What?"
"Please don't point your finger at the prince like that." I swat Kibum's hand away.
While Jonghyun seems ambivalent as he takes a seat between father and Kibum to pour himself a cup of tea, Kibum goes on to ask some of the most ridiculous things that he might have seen his own father ask when one of his sisters brought boys over to their house.
"How are you planning to support Taemin?"
"… through my riches."
"Oh, so it's all about wealth with you?"
Despite being embarrassed for the rest of my life, I cannot help but be proud of my friends. So I just sit back and enjoy it, raising my cup of tea to clink with Jonghyun's.
Minho's got his work cut out for him. And this one in particular, he cannot challenge to an impromptu sword fight at the garden.
THE END
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-- so i believe an apology is in order
for the lateness of this fic.
i am very sorry you had to wait so
long for a ridiculous chapter
and please, there is no need
to tell me how lacking this is
for i will beat myself up everyday for it
on my own. tyvm. although, some
part of me is hoping that a small
amount of you did enjoy this.
and to that small amount, i say thank you.
and sorry to linnhe, as well for
the wait. this is way overdue. and
all of this is for her. <3
COMPLETE!