At odds with quiet fires
At odds with quiet fires #2
pg 13 // Jonghyun/Taemin // ~7k w
-- so i know i said something about this
only being split in two parts... i guess
that's not going to happen now. maybe
3 parts? yeah, probably 3. :))
Kibum decides, for reasons that Jonghyun will never understand, that the best way to wake Jonghyun up is by nudging him on the cheek with a socked foot. Jonghyun squirms then blinks his eyes rapidly, gaze landing on the white cottoned toe between his eyes. Needless to say he storms out of the room with half his wits, hair in a dark mahogany mess as he rubs his eyes awake and turns the knob of his room open.
He is greeted with the aroma of something thick and delicious, embracing him and turning his morning upside down. Taemin is on the floor in an Indian seat next to his cooker, opening the lid and beaming at Jonghyun. He doesn’t have to signal Jonghyun over as Jonghyun drops to the floor in front of Taemin wordlessly and heavily.
He yawns as Taemin places a bowl before Jonghyun filled with white porridge consisting of rice and vegetables and a secret ingredient that Taemin claims he will take to his grave.
“Did you sleep well?” Jonghyun asks during his second bowl and Taemin nods enthusiastically, his ponytail bouncing.
A third bowl later and Jonghyun is energized enough to conquer an army. Taemin offers him a glass of water which he gulps down without hesitation. “Are you doing anything today?”
During the weekends Jonghyun spends his time mauling over unfinished lyrics or filling the trashcan with papers filled with them in the music room. The thought of being cooped up in the empty room with nothing but his thoughts makes him scrunch his nose in aversion. “No. Why?”
“I was gonna go to the market near here, maybe check some stuff out. You wanna come?”
“You mean Sang Sang? Isn’t that supposed to be a shady place?”
“It’s a market.” Taemin shoves a spoonful of porridge in his mouth, past his generous pouty lips and Jonghyun…. Jonghyun worries why that image makes him think of things that he’s not supposed to be thinking. Maybe it’s just because he’s still disoriented with being woken up by Kibum’s foot.
“As your roommate I should probably not let you go there alone.” Jonghyun aims his stare for his bowl, unable to see the way Taemin lights up, finishing his stew and helping himself to another bowl.
~o~
The afternoon light washes the market with warm brightness as it beckons Jonghyun and Taemin over. It’s crowded and narrow, and everywhere you go there’s always a persuasive seller pushing things in your face. Jonghyun isn’t much for places like this but Taemin knows how to keep his mind of it.
Like taking him to a shop that sells scented oils and Jonghyun feels as if he’s high on something illegal after about ten minutes of just inhaling vanilla to lavender, oak to papaya ginseng, and everything else in between.
“This is coconut mint.” Taemin takes one of the brown tester bottles in his hand and sniffs, his eyes closing. “This is okay.”
Jonghyun wraps his hand around Taemin’s and brings the bottle’s mouth close to the tip of his nose. Just then Taemin stiffens, observing Jonghyun with curious eyes. When the scent invades Jonghyun’s nostrils he’s drawn by the scent instantly. It’s not something he hasn’t smelled before. In fact, it’s so familiar that it kind of feels like home, but at the same time completely foreign, uncharted territory. “It kind of smells like…”
When Jonghyun looks up and meets Taemin’s eyes, his heart beat pounds in his ears. Its smells like you. He releases Taemin’s hand, placing it in the depths of his pocket. “Yeah. It’s okay.”
Somewhere in the market is a pet shop. While Taemin wanders about in the dog section, slipping his fingers through the cages to play with their furs, Jonghyun is lost in the aisles of fish, tracing the patterns of their scales with his eyes as they wiggle in the aquarium peacefully.
“You like fish?” Taemin appears next to him with a hamster squirming in his hands.
“Yeah.” Jonghyun nods. “My mom never gave me a pet of my own because she’s allergic. I got a fish once but I didn’t take care of it very well.” Jonghyun shrugs. “I guess if I can’t take care of a fish then never mind anything else.”
Taemin purses his lips, eyeing the fishes considerably.
Later in the day Jonghyun breaks out a few bucks to buy Taemin new sheets. Taemin doesn’t protest and Jonghyun raises a brow at him. “You owe me, after all.” Taemin says, punching him in the shoulder and this time Jonghyun doesn’t flinch away.
He figures it’s true. He does owe Taemin a lot.
~o~
It’s all very natural for Jonghyun to carry Taemin’s bags for him as they make it back to the dorm. The sun is just about to set and parked outside of the entrance is a car that Jonghyun recognizes.
He keeps his eye on the car, not saying anything at first just to make sure. Taemin notices and asks him what’s wrong. Jonghyun shakes his head silently, walking forward until they make it to the entrance. He gets a clearer view of the driver’s seat and surely enough, there Yoona was, texting on her cell phone.
“Hey, go ahead without me. Here.” Jonghyun holds the bags out for Taemin to take.
“You aren’t coming up?”
“In a second. I just saw a friend.” Jonghyun throws a glance at the car and Taemin notices the girl in the window.
“Oh. Okay.” Taemin said, frown much more obvious now. And Jonghyun doesn’t have to explain himself for anything. But he finds himself saying, “I’ll be up before you know it. I’ll help you with the sheets.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Taemin nods, spinning around and walking ahead without another word.
Feebly, Jonghyun watches Taemin’s back grow smaller in the distance.
The car door opening registers on him and when he spins around Yoona is already by his side, arms folded serenely across her chest. “Who was she?”
Jonghyun blinks. “Who? Taemin? That was a boy.”
Yoona’s eyes widen, jaw hanging slack. “Seriously?” She looks past Jonghyun’s shoulder as if doing so would help her see Taemin. But Taemin’s been gone for the past minute and Jonghyun briefly finds himself wondering if Taemin’s made it to their room yet.
Yoona laughs on tenterhooks, tucking strands of her hair behind her ear as she eyes Jonghyun. Jonghyun smiles back. “What?”
“Nothing.” Yoona shakes her head, eyes crinkling into a smile that Jonghyun can only distinguish as relief. “I was just getting a little jealous.”
Jonghyun leaves her a smile, even if slightly weak. The way he bites the inside of his lip registers on Yoona. They’ve known each other for years and they’re still playing this game. Loving Yoona was a terrible prison, Jonghyun knew this, but he asked to be incarcerated and in the duration of his stay in the cell, he sometimes wonders if when Yoona does decide that now is the time for them, will he still feel locked up? Or would that suggestion of a step further into their flat line friendship constitute as his freedom?
He pushes the thoughts aside, lacing his fingers through her hair and cupping her cheek. It was easy to fall back in. It wasn’t as if they’ve never fallen back together. What was difficult was having to deal with everything in between, like studying in separate colleges and having so much history to take into consideration. But he’d like to think that there was always something between them, that when they first smiled at each other during freshmen year back in high school, there was a spark for the both of them.
Yoona clings at his wrist, leading his hand away as she smiles shyly.
Or maybe it was all just him. And maybe, he shouldn’t be locking himself up so much in her box. “Have you eaten?”
“No, I haven’t.” Yoona offers him a pout and Jonghyun takes it because he sees years of Yoona in every simple gesture.
“Should I treat you to dinner?” Jonghyun pretends to hesitate until Yoona beats him down with her judging stare. He gives in. Of course he does.
~o~
Jonghyun isn’t used to returning to the room without the lights off when he knows that Taemin is inside. So far, in knowing Taemin he’s gathered enough to write a mini novel about the boy’s fears. Because Taemin has a long list of them.
Jonghyun ventures into the room shaded in variations of black and certain streaks of moonlight cast by the windows and the balcony’s sliding door. Taemin is in his bed, new sheets still in the package they came in on the floor. Taemin makes use of his old blanket to wrap himself up, no pillows or anything else. Jonghyun frowns at Taemin’s back, walking over quietly.
“Taemin.” Jonghyun whispers. He notices the way Taemin’s shoulders move slightly. “Taemin, it’s 7:30. You’re sleeping already?”
“I don’t feel so good.” Comes Taemin’s meek response.
“No? Why don’t you turn the light on?”
“It hurts my eyes.”
Jonghyun comes a little closer, cautiously sitting next to Taemin on the mattress. He pats Taemin’s shoulder. “Hey, turn around.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” Jonghyun rolls his eyes and Taemin doesn’t need much persuasion.
Taemin rolls over, shifting and bones cracking as he stretches his legs down. He keeps his eyes closed while Jonghyun uses the back of his hand to feel Taemin’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever. I don’t think so. Where does it hurt?”
“My head.” Taemin answers, eyes still closed and hands flat by his side. The shadows on his face increasing the lines in which his lips are drawn downcast. Jonghyun smiles for no apparent reason but he is worried. He walks over to his desk, and opens the lowest drawer where he keeps his aspirins.
He prepares one in a glass of water and offers the fizzy medicine induced liquid to Taemin. Taemin opens his eyes finally, his face accommodating the fizz of the water and screws his eyes back shut. “No!” Taemin shouts before hiding is mouth behind his clamped hands, his elbow almost knocking Jonghyun’s hand over.
Jonghyun saves the glass with his other hand, and then stares at Taemin incredulously. “Taemin, come on. Don’t be a baby.” Jonghyun orders softly as he tugs at Taemin’s wrist. Taemin keeps his grip firm.
Taemin mumbles something incomprehensible behind his hands.
“Taemin, stop it. Drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”
Taemin does more muffled shouting behind his hand that sounds a lot like la la la la, I can’t hear youuuu.
This goes on for a bit, Jonghyun trying to keep his temper at an acceptable level while Taemin muffles his retorts. And by the time that Jonghyun’s patience is running out he is left with two options. The first is to just let it go and let Taemin sleep it off. The second involves beating Taemin with the handle of the mop. And since Jonghyun isn’t about to go bully his roommate (even if it is for the greater good) he stands up while Taemin continues to sing a nursery rhyme behind his hands. Jonghyun walks over to the bathroom, draining the contents of the glass in the sink.
When Jonghyun walks back inside the room Taemin is still singing. Jonghyun repeatedly shouts Taemin’s name over and over until the boy shuts up. When Taemin opens his eyes he expects to see something violent in Jonghyun’s eyes, possibly prepare himself for a glass hitting his skull. But all he sees is Jonghyun sighing at him exhaustedly as he places the empty glass back on his desk.
Taemin takes his hands away, placing them over one another on his blanket as Jonghyun walks over to his own bed and plops down, rubbing his eyes with his hands while pushing his feet out of his shoes. Jonghyun’s mouth stretches into a yawn as he pushes his arms over his head, extending his joints.
Taemin blinks. “I don’t like medicine.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Jonghyun answers flatly. Taemin isn’t quite sure if he upset Jonghyun somehow or if his sudden change of mood has anything to do with the events that transpired earlier today. Taemin wants to test it without seeming nosy. “Was that your girlfriend?” This was probably not the best way to start. But Taemin’s mouth motors it out without his consent and Jonghyun is already eyeing him from his bed with a lazy sideway glance.
“No.” Jonghyun answers, gaze trailing along the edges of Taemin’s bed frame. “She’s a long time friend.”
“Oh.” Taemin twists his neck back to stare up at the ceiling. “Are you in love with her?”
There’s a pregnant pause that ensues and it hits Taemin the wrong way. Taemin keeps his eyes off Jonghyun, focusing on the ceiling and struggling to think of something else to talk about. But Jonghyun breathes out profoundly, and then clicks his tongue. “Sometimes I think I love her. Sometimes I wish I never met her. D’you understand?”
“No.” Taemin answers to the ceiling, letting his reply float along with Jonghyun’s statement. It’s true. Taemin doesn’t comprehend emotions past his maturity level and he believes himself to be too young for topics such as love or hate or anything akin to that. “How does that work?”
Jonghyun places his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling as well. “My mom once said that I’ll know she’s special if when I’m around her I’ll feel a hundred butterflies in my stomach. With Yoona I’ve felt that way before. It’s just that she’s asked me to wait for so long that the butterflies are dying one by one. And now I’m worried that by the time she’s ready there won’t be any left.”
Taemin considers this, his fingers moving against one another on his stomach. “Hey Jonghyun.”
“Yeah.”
“What if. I feel that way about someone. But it’s not… uhmm…”
“What is it?”
“You know what? It’s nothing.” Taemin assures him. Taemin rolls his head to the side to smile at Jonghyun but when he does Jonghyun is looking at him apprehensively, the moonlight casting a playful flush on his skin. Taemin gives him an awkward smile before shifting to face the wall, his breathing somewhat labored. And then he recognizes that no, it wasn’t nothing.
~o~
It’s no secret anymore that Jinki is very fond of Taemin. Truth was, it was never a secret o begin with. Jinki’s insides are turned out for the world to see and his transparency, although disarming, is too obvious for his own good sometimes. Like he can’t help but shrivel and sigh whenever Taemin is close by. The extent of his fondness is measured by the times he visits Jonghyun and Taemin’s room and the times in which he takes Taemin’s hand in his and doesn’t let go.
Kibum ‘s taking his time, knee to knee with Taemin, the other pressed up against Jinki’s. He’s seated in between the line of Jinki’s stare and he’s giving Jonghyun a look that Jonghyun ignores for more of Taemin’s freshly cooked ramen. The four of them circle the rice cooker holding the ramen, Taemin holding the lid of the cooker beneath his chin while the rest of them make use of different sized plates to keep the soup from dribbling all the way down to the floor.
They have dinner like this now, in Taemin and Jonghyun’s room, Taemin’s cooking keeping them full for the past few weeks. Jinki has his stare fixed at Taemin’s every movement and it’s not the first time. And all of those times, Kibum realized, has just been building up to this point where Kibum is finally sick of the things that they aren’t saying. He’s ready to lay it thick, no matter how weird things get so when he says, “Jinki, will you please stop eye fucking Taemin for even fifteen minutes? I’m try’na eat here, boy.” he makes sure that everyone knows how much he means it.
With the last slurp of his noodles being the only sound heard before a minute of silence passes, Kibum finds peace in the awkward pursuit. “But I wasn’t.” Jinki tries, only to be countered with Kibum’s are-you-fucking-kidding-me stare.
“Whatchu mean you ain’t? You was eye fucking him, son. You was eye fucking the shit out of him. Even Jonghyun sees it. Right, Jjong?”
Jonghyun, for the first time during the entire exchange, lifts his head from his plate, brows pushing up to meet his hair line. “Huh?”
“Say Jinki was eye fucking Taemin.”
“Jinki was eye fuck-wait, what?” Jonghyun abruptly gives the two of them a look-Jinki shaking his head vigorously while Taemin pouts in confusion.
The conversation is cut short with Taemin suddenly bursting out laughing, nearly dropping his chopsticks in the process, Jonghyun following shortly after. Jinki smiles weakly (possibly out of guilt) while Kibum rolls his eyes and mutters “useless.” under his breath.
The rest of the days at school become a lot easier to live through for Jonghyun. He finishes his homework in time just so he can be early for Taemin’s cooking and teaches Taemin how to be more organized with his things so as to save more space. They spend most of whatever time they have free together and this doesn’t go unnoticed. The only reason rumors or anything of the like haven’t risen yet is because Taemin and Jonghyun are always seen with a group before leaving campus to go to Changmin’s café or the market.
Jonghyun’s world is small and for the first time it doesn’t matter to him. He liked routines because they were comfortable, however even he liked to play around every once in a while. So, one night after a stroll in the market Jonghyun and Taemin say goodnight to Jinki and Kibum and retreat to their rooms, yawning and stretching. Before Taemin can enter the bathroom to change Jonghyun throws his used sock at him and it lands on Taemin’s shoulder. Taemin remains in a perpetual cringe as he plucks the garment with his forefinger and thumb, tossing it in the laundry bin while Jonghyun watches with glee. “You wanna do something fun?” Jonghyun asks when Taemin comes back to walk over to his closet, rifling through his choices of pajama pants and shirts.
“I dunno.” Taemin straightens up with a pair of shorts and one of his large wife beaters. He shuts the closet door before walking over to his desk where he finds a ponytail. He stretches the material in his fingers, hands going to the back of his head to gather his auburn strands and tie it back in a messy collection by the crown. Jonghyun is oddly fascinated, but he’s long accepted the reality of Taemin’s looks, how the delicateness may seem appealing and transfixing which will explain why Jonghyun’s glued to his every graceful movement. Taemin was just simply a vision, there was no denying that. May Jonghyun be straight, a boy or what have you, the fact of the matter is, Taemin was pretty. “Will I have to spend any money?”
The middle of Jonghyun’s forehead creases, brows drawing together to accompany the dubious smile on his lips. “Why would you think that?”
Taemin laughs vaguely, exhaustion evident in the way he tugs his ponytail tight.
“Are you tired?” Jonghyun asks.
Taemin pushes his lips to one side in consideration. “Not really.” The truth was, yes. Taemin was tired to the bone and he was certain that one of his toes had gone to sleep in the midst of their walk back to the dorms. “Why?”
Jonghyun’s eyes light up mischievously and although it creates a childish and can’t-help-but-smile-at expression to shine across his face the unpredictability of the workings of his mind worries Taemin slightly. Jonghyun gets up from the bed, taking Taemin’s wrist when he walks past.
Jonghyun turns the knob of the door and pulls it open. “Jong-“
“Ssh.” Jonghyun cuts his protest, forefinger pressed to Taemin’s lips. He tightens his grip around Taemin’s wrists, head turning toward either side of the hallway to make sure that it’s clear.
In a second or two, Taemin’s being pulled by the wrist down the hall, following Jonghyun’s back, feet heavy as he nearly trips over his feet in his haste.
Jonghyun and Taemin run out of the building, down to the grounds. He follows Jonghyun all the way to the back of the school where the pool is fenced but no higher than their torsos.
Jonghyun easily hops over the gate to cross over to the pool, Taemin following shortly after a moment’s hesitance.
Jonghyun walks slowly to the edge of the pool, the water stretching on both sides widely, the water blue and glowing as it plays on their skins. Taemin stands next to Jonghyun, arms circling around his stomach to hug himself warm from the cool drift escaping the stretch of water.
Jonghyun’s eyes are directed on the surface of the water, the surface where reflections of the light above was painted in a hazy glow of color to smear the ripples. Jonghyun looks almost hypnotized by the sight of colors swaying, hopping in the dancing lines and creases of the surface.
Taemin thinks that Jonghyun’s face-the slopes of the angles shine perfectly in a shade of hazy, faint blue, like tonight, under stars and tints of light-is remarkable and it can’t be a good sign, can it? Because Taemin is worrying on his bottom lip as he studies the harsh lines, the ups and downs of Jonghyun’s profile, the ways in which the outlines are perfectly imperfect, the ways in which his fingers can easily graze and trace and get lost in the path.
Taemin’s fingers are suddenly burning with incomprehensible desire, inexplicable need to fill the pads with a contrast only Jonghyun’s skin can provide. But before anything else can evolve and before Taemin’s brain can find normal function Jonghyun jumps and lands into the water, breaking the calm surface with the splash of his body.
“What the!” Taemin shouts as Jonghyun’s head pops above the water. Jonghyun laughs into the air, flicking his head to one side to rid his eyes of water and soaked strands of his fringe. Taemin’s hands are balled into fists at his sides, nearing the edge as Jonghyun floats and smiles up at him.
“What?” Jonghyun asks when Taemin doesn’t respond for a good thirty seconds. “You need a written invitation?”
“I’m not getting in there.”
“The water’s really nice.”
“It’s against the rules! If the guards find us-“
“Rules are meant to be broken, don’t you know that? Come on, Taemin. Stop squeezing that stick up your ass and join me.”
“No.” Taemin folds his arms across his chest, eyes darting behind him to make sure no guards can be found around them. “You come out, Jonghyun.”
“Have it your way. You can go back to the dorm yourself.”
“But.” Taemin pinches a patch of his skin. “But the lights are all off.”
Jonghyun leans back, now doing butterfly strokes and purposefully ignoring Taemin.
“Jonghyun.” Taemin calls out when Jonghyun is leaving the middle of the pool. “Jonghyun..”
Taemin anxiously throws looks over his shoulder, weighing his options. It’s not like he’s going to get expelled for swimming. And it’s not like he does this every day. And… there are so many reasons to just do things. Even if you are scared, fear can be overlooked when you’re desperate for something you can’t quite comprehend.
Taemin enters the pool slowly, sitting on the edge and pushing himself down inch by inch. The water is cold but not uncomfortably so. The tips of his hair are shaped in an upside down arrow, every strand soaked and heavy just like Taemin’s clothes. Jonghyun swims back to Taemin, obviously pleased. “I knew you’d see things my way eventually.”
“I’m giving you twenty minutes. Then we’re leaving.” Taemin commands.
As a response Jonghyun laughs, hops up and sinks Taemin’s head into the water. Bubbles break the surface and Jonghyun counts one to three, and then releases Taemin, panting and spitting water out. He rubs his eyes free of water, not bothering to pull his hair away from his neck.
“That wasn’t funny!” Taemin says when Jonghyun smiles at him. “I could have drowned.”
“Don’t say that.”
“What?”
“Did you know…” Jonghyun’s voice drops to a whisper. “Someone did drown here. A girl. From a long time ago.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m serious.” Jonghyun moves closer while Taemin looks around the water, the temperature dropping suddenly. “I hear she comes out at night…”
While Taemin is preoccupied with a mysterious bubble somewhere in the distance Jonghyun blows on his face. Taemin is startled, his instant reaction is to cover his face and scream into his hands. Jonghyun swears he’s never laughed so hard in his life.
~o~
Kibum is trying on baseball caps in a local accessory shop in the market, sticking his lips out and tilting his head high at the mirror to see how it looks on him. He does a bunch of other ridiculous poses too and all Jonghyun can do is get distracted by the gestures and the postures. Jonghyun is vaguely aware of Taemin and Jinki somewhere near the cashier speculating the key chains.
Jonghyun’s general attention is torn between the image of Taemin and Jinki bumping shoulders and Kibum pulling all of these faces in front of the full length mirror. He doesn’t mind Jinki’s little crush. There was no use hiding something so text book blatant, but Jonghyun doesn’t know about Jinki and Taemin. The combination doesn’t sit right with him somehow. Taemin and Jinki are both afraid of the dark, which in itself doesn’t balance things out for them. Taemin needs someone who can withstand the dark and can comfort him through blackouts. As insignificant as this all may seem, at the time Jonghyun thought that everything regarding his rejection of the idea of Taemin and Jinki together was nothing but valid.
But then again, this is all about friendship and being a good hyung to his dongsaeng. That’s what Jonghyun pegs it to be.
Jonghyun nears Kibum with the intention of distracting himself from the pair. “Hey, Kibum.”
“Yo.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” Kibum lifts the cap on his head and exchanges it for a new, red and black one.
“You know…”
“I ain’t no mind reader. “ Kibum says with a sniff, fitting the snug cap onto his head and smiling at himself in the mirror.
“Act and… dress… well… the way that you do?” Jonghyun reaches for one of the caps stacked, fiddling with it just because he feels kind of amazingly awkward without something to do with his hands.
“Oh why?” Kibum is looking at him through the reflection, one brow raised. “You think this got somethin’ to do witchu, homie?”
Jonghyun is genuinely baffled. “What?”
“That’s the problem with society these days.” Kibum takes the cap off and spins around to face Jonghyun. With his hand holding the hat he waves it around to emphasize his point. “So narcissistic. You always think everything about everyone’s got somethin’ to do with you. What I do with mahself has nothin’ to do with you, believe it or not.”
Jonghyun shrugs, still playing with the cap in his hands, gaze low. “I just figured that life would be a lot easier for you if you just blended in.”
“You mean like you?” Kibum scoffs and Jonghyun is only slightly offended. He would have been completely insulted had he not deserved that. “You need some apples, son?”
“Apples?”
“Yeah, apples. For your high motherfuckin’ horse.” Kibum makes a gesture of a cowboy straddling a horse briefly. “Get off it. Didn’t it ever occur to you that there are people in this world that genuinely don’t give a rat’s ass about what other people-other people like you think?”
“I’m not trying to be rude.”
“Neither am I.” Kibum shrugs. “Just realize this, Jjong. You’re a good guy. Wouldn’t like to see you missing some good opportunities because of this being a little too narrow.” When Kibum says this he points a finger to touch the center of Jonghyun’s forehead. Then he gives the most subtle look towards Taemin and Jinki who were now testing the sizes of the bracelets in one of the shelves.
Kibum doesn’t say anything and Jonghyun isn’t quite sure if that glance was meant to mean anything, if Kibum knows something that Jonghyun isn’t willing to admit. Jonghyun frowns, returning the cap to the stand and leaving the store with Kibum’s eyes following his trail.
Outside his dials Yoona’s number and asks her where she is.
“I just got home from school. Why?”
“No plans today?”
“You know me, Jonghyun. All work, no play.”
Jonghyun releases a laugh, feeling a bit awkward about it afterwards when Yoona doesn’t react. “So, do you maybe want to meet today?”
~o~
Jonghyun comes home a little after twelve. He toes his shoes off and walks over to his desk where a bracelet, green vines surrounding blue stones, catches his eye. He halts, his direction switching to near his desk instead, where the bracelet is resting on top of his notes. He remembers Taemin fiddling with something like this in the market earlier just before he left to meet with Yoona.
With the bracelet in his hand he glances at Taemin’s sleeping form over his shoulder, his pulse quickening.
He curls his fingers around the bracelet, feeling the material digging into his skin. Jonghyun stuffs it in his drawer, closing it slowly.
~o~
Jonghyun can’t pinpoint the exact time and day when things go awry. But if there’s an event to take notice of it is most definitely the day when he sees Jinki wearing the same bracelet Taemin bought for him. Jonghyun tries his hardest to nonchalantly point it out then feels stupid because it will always come off that way, no matter how he asks. So he gives it a go, a quick, “Taemin got you one too, huh?” and Jinki perks up at the mention of his new accessory gifted to him by Taemin. “He got Kibum one too. But Kibum doesn’t wear stuff like this so.” Jinki goes back to copying notes off of someone else’s notebook while Jonghyun remains by the door of the empty classroom, his mind reeling.
For his next break he calls Yoona up and asks her if she’s busy. She teases him about his frequent texts and calls lately (“Kim Jonghyun, I think you’re missing me too much”) and Jonghyun thinks that maybe that was it. Maybe he just misses Yoona. Maybe he needs to see as much of her as he can.
He meets Yoona after his classes. Jonghyun shows her the directions to the market because he thinks that she’ll like it there. He knows how fond Yoona is of things that are sold for cheap (ranging from useless to gold) so he already expects her to smile enthusiastically the moment they arrive at the market.
“I’m impressed.” She says after unbuckling her seatbelt.
Jonghyun stares at her questioningly.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way. I just know how much you dislike crowds like these. College has changed you I guess?”
The first store they enter, as expected once again, is a clothes shop where everything is thrown in a bin and you get to buy three shirts in a bulk for cheap. Yoona rifles through the clothes’ bins along with other older women and students excitedly while Jonghyun waits beside her, holding his smile steady. After a few minutes they come out of the store with Yoona’s new purchased belongings in a plastic bag carried by Jonghyun.
Jonghyun follows her to the store that sold different scented oils and Jonghyun’s heart drops at first. He’d like to think that he doesn’t know why but the knowledge and recognition of whatever it was that keeps him tentative while entering the store troubles him more.
Yoona sifts through the bottles and chats with the seller about prices and colognes. Jonghyun stands behind her, eyeing the identical bottles and trying to remember one in particular. Mint and coconuts…
“Jonghyun?” Yoona’s voice registers on him and he blinks at her as if being awakened from a dream. “I said, isn’t that Jinki?”
Jonghyun turns his head and finds Jinki passing by the window.
“Jinki!” Yoona calls out before he can.
The pair walks out of the store to meet Jinki who crushes Yoona in a hug as soon as they meet. “Oh my god! Jinki, I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Jinki laughs, eyes crinkling. “Yeah, I know.” He says sarcastically, aiming his eyes at Jonghyun. Yoona’s cheeks flush.
“Did you come here alone?”
“No.” Jinki shakes his head. Then a sort of sparkle flashes temporarily before his smile reappears, more coy this time. “I, uhm. I actually came with a friend.”
And before Yoona can playfully tease him about it Taemin appears from one of the stores, smiling instantly at the sight of Yoona and Jonghyun. Jonghyun’s jaw clenches.
Jinki introduces Taemin to Yoona and Jonghyun almost cringes when she just fawns over how long Taemin’s lashes are.
And Yoona, being the friendly person that she is, invites both Jinki and Taemin to lunch with them.
With the four of them seated at the table, the waiter circling them to offer them clean plates, Yoona and Jinki chat away and catch up. Taemin is seated beside Jonghyun, playing with the edges of the napkin in his lap. Jonghyun wants to make Taemin stop fidgeting so much, but he feels curiously uncomfortable in the setting.
Taemin catches Jonghyun staring some times. The first time they exchanged small smiles while the rest of the stares just pass by without much acknowledgement. Jonghyun has all of these questions in his head, voiced out by his mind and ready to spill from his lips.
What are you doing here with Jinki? was kind of the main question he had in mind, but what would he stand to gain from a single attempt at interrogation. How does Taemin going out to stroll about the market alone with Jinki concern him in anyway?
Jonghyun considers the matter regarding Taemin’s sexuality, how he stated that he wasn’t gay a couple of months ago. But placing that as a weapon of argument wouldn’t be logical since Taemin never promised him anything. And so what if Taemin liked Jinki just as much? Why would that be such a bad thing? Taemin wouldn’t be Jinki’s first boyfriend and Jonghyun knows how Jinki treats his current paramours. Jinki’s loyal, charming, smart and has a wonderful smile that could light up a whole room and then some. Taemin and Jinki getting together wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
And then it comes to Jonghyun’s mind… many images similar to this one. Seeing Jinki and Taemin in the market together. Soon they’ll be holding hands, soon Taemin will be wearing one of Jinki’s jackets since winter is about to enter, soon Taemin won’t always be in their room since he’d want to sleep beside his boyfriend…
“I, uhm…” Jonghyun cuts in on whatever it is that Yoona and Jinki is talking about. From beneath the table, hidden from Jinki and Taemin’s stare, he circles his fingers around Yoona’s hand and squeezes it. “I’m sorry to have to do this but I just remembered that Yoona and I made reservations in another restaurant.”
Yoona raises one brow. “We did?”
“Yes.” Jonghyun widens his eyes at her. “We can’t let those reservations go to waste.”
Yoona’s eyes do the opposite, narrowing at Jonghyun’s attempts to get them out of there. She is obviously enjoying herself. She tries to tug her hand away from Jonghyun’s grip.
“Yoona…”
“I think I’ll stay.” Her reply is unexpected, the only one of the day. And Jonghyun loosens his grip on her hand without meaning too. She manages to wiggle her hand away from Jonghyun and place it on the table. “Forget about the reservation Jonghyun.”
“But I made them in advance. We had those reservations first. We can’t just drop them because something new came along.” Jonghyun leans over the table, frowning at Yoona.
Jinki takes a sip of water stiffly while Taemin holds his breath, watching the exchange with inquisitively.
“Then choose.” Yoona says with a half shrug.
Jonghyun’s lips part, empty without a reply ready.
Choose. Choose, she says. Choose between what he already has and what he can risk to have.
Jonghyun licks his bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth. He takes a moment, eyes on his lap. Then he pats his hands on the front of his jeans before standing up. “I’m just gonna go then.”
The trio left by the table stares at him blankly as he walks outside of the humble restaurant. “What’s wrong with him?” Jinki asks, his question open for either of them to answer.
Yoona averts her gaze to her glass, fingers tracing the rim. “He was fine before. I guess he’s just upset.”
“About the lunch reservations?”
Just then, Taemin exhales, a weight set on his shoulders that won’t come off. When he looks up he catches Yoona’s concerned eyes as she answers, “About things getting in the way, I guess. He’s never been able to deal with change very well.”
~o~
What Taemin wrestles to understand is what is it this time?
What did he do to make Jonghyun act this way around him. He could compare this to their first meeting except, things were different then. When Jongyhyun drew that line between them at least Taemin knew where he stood, knew where not to cross and what not to do.
Now it was much more than a line. It was an invisible wall trailing where the line used to be. It keeps Jonghyun from joining him during breakfast and dinner like he usually does, keeps him from smiling at Taemin when they pass by the halls of their college.
Three days in Taemin comes up with the stupid idea that maybe he should have never given Jonghyun that bracelet. The blue of the stones in the bracelet just reminded him so much of the blue reflecting on his skin that night at the pool. And he tried as much as he could to be inconspicuous about it, buying two more for Jinki and Kibum. He figures that this is a sign to keep himself where he belongs, outside of Jonghyun’s boundaries.
~o~
Taemin’s used to it by now, the teasing and the taunting because of his hair and his narrow frame. Just being in school or leaving the house, people always tend to stare and figure him out. And those who find him to be off the scale that measures normality think that they have a problem with him.
So, Taemin gets it. He gets why when he passes the halls of his college alone, the girls stare and the boys snicker behind their hands. What he never really experienced before was being legitimately bullied physically. He was in no mood to tolerate the four boys passing by him, one of them purposefully bumping into his shoulder.
Taemin, whose mind had been lifting in and out throughout the day to begin with, doesn’t anticipate the attack, rendering his balance to tip over. He falls back, his sketchbook and bag falling to the ground, papers flying in a scattered pattern.
Taemin huffs his fringe out of his eyes in frustration, the boys looking back just to watch him pick up his things. The other students continue with their schedule, only stopping abruptly to watch the scene of Taemin gathering his things while the four attackers behind him chuckle and stare at his back.
They’re mumbling something about his hair, something about his clothes and Taemin lets it all go. Until they mumble something ending with the word faggot. Taemin has been in search of a way to let out his frustration for the past week, rid himself of built up angst until every drop is spent. So when he hears that word it acts as a trigger that overcomes him. He rises, tossing his things back to fall on the ground. The clatter brings students passing by to a halt this time because Taemin’s sporting a scowl when he spins around. Then the whisper campaign ensues.
I think he’s gonna fight back.
There is no way. This guy’s gonna get the shit kicked out of him.
Oh shit, he’s walking over to them.
The largest of the four brings himself to stand before Taemin, the remaining three challenging Taemin with their obnoxious smirks. “You got something to say?” Big Guy asks.
Taemin annoyingly scratches the top of his bangs, messing it up. “Apologize.”
The four let out a guffaw of a laugh and now a circle of students is beginning to form in order to witness the possible ass kicking of the year. “You can’t be serious.”
“You bumped into me on purpose. Apologize.”
“I’ve got a better idea.” Big Guy cracks is knuckles and stretches his neck and Taemin knows what’s next. Maybe he’s predicting it. To be knocked out and exactly what everyone expects for once. “How about your face and my fist have a little chit chat? Let’s see if they can figure something out?”
Chuckles resonate from his friends. Taemin closes his eyes, ready for the blow.
“Apologize.” Taemin’s eyes snap open at the familiar voice. When he cocks his head over his shoulder Jonghyun is walking over to Taemin’s side, dropping his bag to the floor. “Just apologize.”
“I don’t apologize to no faggot and I sure as hell don’t owe an apology to his faggot boyfriend.”
Taemin’s lips part then, but Jonghyun intervenes, “You know, recent studies on homophobia show that the foundation of your fear comes from your unmistakable arousal as a reaction to homoerotic pornography.”
“You saying I jack off to your kind?” Big Guy places his meaty hands on his chest, chuckling while the rest of his posse makes rude gestures.
“I’m saying that the reason you hate him so much,” Jonghyun nods his head towards Taemin. “is probably because you get a boner whenever you see him. And hey, that’s cool. But I think he’d rather drink garbage juice than fuck you.”
The last thing Jonghyun sees is a fat fist nearing his face with impressive speed.
~o~
Jonghyun doesn’t wake up in a clinic. But he squints when he first bats his eyes open, momentarily blinded by something bright. It takes him a second to realize that it’s the sun and that he’s outdoors, lying on a vacant bench.
When he stretches his neck to sit up pain shoots through his bones. Instinctively, his mouth twists and that gestures welcomes a whirlwind of aches to trample over him.
The sun is suddenly blocked from Jonghyun’s view and the change of light sends Jonghyun’s hand to cover his eyes to allow his pupils to adjust to the change. Taemin’s face abruptly comes into view; his hair tied back, an ice pack in his hands. Jonghyun stares up at him silently for a few moments, blinking.
Taemin sinks to his knees next to the bench and pats the ice pack gently on Jonghyun’s jaw. Jonghyun recoils at the contact, his eyes screwing shut. He takes the ice pack from Taemin’s hand and positions himself to sit up, groaning a bit as he makes room for Taemin on the bench.
Taemin takes a seat next to him, not close enough to still keep whatever it is that is between them. Taemin wrings his hands together, nibbling on his bottom lip. Jonghyun holds the ice pack to his jaw, taking it off a few times then placing it back again. He drops it eventually on his lap and looks over at Taemin.
Taemin feels Jonghyun’s stare so he strains his neck to fix their gazes together. Taemin’s eyes are unreadable and Jonghyun feels nervous.
“How do I look?” Jonghyun tries, taking the ice pack again and patting it on the sore areas of his jaw.
Jonghyun has a bruise painted on his jaw flashing red and blue. “Dashing.”
Jonghyun tenders a short laugh, looking away. Taemin fishes out Jonghyun’s phone from his pocket and hands it over.
“Your mom called a few times.”
“Shit. Really?” Jonghyun lays the ice pack beside him, taking the phone with both hands and flipping it open to be greeted with several missed calls on the screen. “Did you answer any of her calls?”
Taemin shakes his head, a quiet no.
Just as Jonghyun’s holding the phone to his ear and the ring on the other end of the line delivers, butterflies appear from behind them, surrounding them as they take flight into the open air.
Taemin counts them one by one by the color of their wings while Jonghyun just admires them, his eyes tapering. “There are a lot of butterflies here.”
“My mom once said that I’ll know she’s special if when I’m around her I’ll feel a hundred butterflies in my stomach.”
Taemin smiles to himself, taking down his hair from the ponytail and shaking his hair free. “Maybe they escaped.”
“From where?” Jonghyun spins his head around to look for a cage of sorts that could possibly hold the butterflies captive. The line goes busy so Jonghyun tries his mother’s number again.
“When I opened my mouth just then.” Taemin replies, eyes on his hands.
Suddenly, Jonghyun can’t hear the ringing from his phone. All he hears is the ring in Taemin’s voice, the seriousness of everything and what it could mean. What it does mean. Nothing is more audible now than the combination of his heart and pulse beating against his skin. Gradually, Jonghyun glances at Taemin and finds the other boy playing with the ends of his hair, avoiding Jonghyun’s stare.
When he looks up Jonghyun can’t look away. Taemin drags his stare all over Jonghyun’s face then finally smiles. “Did your mom pick up?”
“What?” Then Jonghyun recognizes the beep of the busy line again. “No.”
Jonghyun flips the phone close, fighting to keep his breathing steady even if he should probably keep his respiration in the same pace as his circulation.
“You should probably try again. She might worry.”
Jonghyun feels his whole body heat up out of the blue so he reaches for the ice pack with his one hand, the other flipping his phone open again. “Yeah. You’re right. I probably should.”
*masterficlist | add me | tumblr
-- part two. inspired by this movie :)
new master fic list on here. don't
forget that all my fics are tagged.
also, DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE ONE
MIGHT FIND A MINUS 1/INSTRUMENTAL
VERSION OF RING DING DONG THAT
ISN'T OF A KARAOKE QUALITY? ty <3
pg 13 // Jonghyun/Taemin // ~7k w
-- so i know i said something about this
only being split in two parts... i guess
that's not going to happen now. maybe
3 parts? yeah, probably 3. :))
Kibum decides, for reasons that Jonghyun will never understand, that the best way to wake Jonghyun up is by nudging him on the cheek with a socked foot. Jonghyun squirms then blinks his eyes rapidly, gaze landing on the white cottoned toe between his eyes. Needless to say he storms out of the room with half his wits, hair in a dark mahogany mess as he rubs his eyes awake and turns the knob of his room open.
He is greeted with the aroma of something thick and delicious, embracing him and turning his morning upside down. Taemin is on the floor in an Indian seat next to his cooker, opening the lid and beaming at Jonghyun. He doesn’t have to signal Jonghyun over as Jonghyun drops to the floor in front of Taemin wordlessly and heavily.
He yawns as Taemin places a bowl before Jonghyun filled with white porridge consisting of rice and vegetables and a secret ingredient that Taemin claims he will take to his grave.
“Did you sleep well?” Jonghyun asks during his second bowl and Taemin nods enthusiastically, his ponytail bouncing.
A third bowl later and Jonghyun is energized enough to conquer an army. Taemin offers him a glass of water which he gulps down without hesitation. “Are you doing anything today?”
During the weekends Jonghyun spends his time mauling over unfinished lyrics or filling the trashcan with papers filled with them in the music room. The thought of being cooped up in the empty room with nothing but his thoughts makes him scrunch his nose in aversion. “No. Why?”
“I was gonna go to the market near here, maybe check some stuff out. You wanna come?”
“You mean Sang Sang? Isn’t that supposed to be a shady place?”
“It’s a market.” Taemin shoves a spoonful of porridge in his mouth, past his generous pouty lips and Jonghyun…. Jonghyun worries why that image makes him think of things that he’s not supposed to be thinking. Maybe it’s just because he’s still disoriented with being woken up by Kibum’s foot.
“As your roommate I should probably not let you go there alone.” Jonghyun aims his stare for his bowl, unable to see the way Taemin lights up, finishing his stew and helping himself to another bowl.
~o~
The afternoon light washes the market with warm brightness as it beckons Jonghyun and Taemin over. It’s crowded and narrow, and everywhere you go there’s always a persuasive seller pushing things in your face. Jonghyun isn’t much for places like this but Taemin knows how to keep his mind of it.
Like taking him to a shop that sells scented oils and Jonghyun feels as if he’s high on something illegal after about ten minutes of just inhaling vanilla to lavender, oak to papaya ginseng, and everything else in between.
“This is coconut mint.” Taemin takes one of the brown tester bottles in his hand and sniffs, his eyes closing. “This is okay.”
Jonghyun wraps his hand around Taemin’s and brings the bottle’s mouth close to the tip of his nose. Just then Taemin stiffens, observing Jonghyun with curious eyes. When the scent invades Jonghyun’s nostrils he’s drawn by the scent instantly. It’s not something he hasn’t smelled before. In fact, it’s so familiar that it kind of feels like home, but at the same time completely foreign, uncharted territory. “It kind of smells like…”
When Jonghyun looks up and meets Taemin’s eyes, his heart beat pounds in his ears. Its smells like you. He releases Taemin’s hand, placing it in the depths of his pocket. “Yeah. It’s okay.”
Somewhere in the market is a pet shop. While Taemin wanders about in the dog section, slipping his fingers through the cages to play with their furs, Jonghyun is lost in the aisles of fish, tracing the patterns of their scales with his eyes as they wiggle in the aquarium peacefully.
“You like fish?” Taemin appears next to him with a hamster squirming in his hands.
“Yeah.” Jonghyun nods. “My mom never gave me a pet of my own because she’s allergic. I got a fish once but I didn’t take care of it very well.” Jonghyun shrugs. “I guess if I can’t take care of a fish then never mind anything else.”
Taemin purses his lips, eyeing the fishes considerably.
Later in the day Jonghyun breaks out a few bucks to buy Taemin new sheets. Taemin doesn’t protest and Jonghyun raises a brow at him. “You owe me, after all.” Taemin says, punching him in the shoulder and this time Jonghyun doesn’t flinch away.
He figures it’s true. He does owe Taemin a lot.
~o~
It’s all very natural for Jonghyun to carry Taemin’s bags for him as they make it back to the dorm. The sun is just about to set and parked outside of the entrance is a car that Jonghyun recognizes.
He keeps his eye on the car, not saying anything at first just to make sure. Taemin notices and asks him what’s wrong. Jonghyun shakes his head silently, walking forward until they make it to the entrance. He gets a clearer view of the driver’s seat and surely enough, there Yoona was, texting on her cell phone.
“Hey, go ahead without me. Here.” Jonghyun holds the bags out for Taemin to take.
“You aren’t coming up?”
“In a second. I just saw a friend.” Jonghyun throws a glance at the car and Taemin notices the girl in the window.
“Oh. Okay.” Taemin said, frown much more obvious now. And Jonghyun doesn’t have to explain himself for anything. But he finds himself saying, “I’ll be up before you know it. I’ll help you with the sheets.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Taemin nods, spinning around and walking ahead without another word.
Feebly, Jonghyun watches Taemin’s back grow smaller in the distance.
The car door opening registers on him and when he spins around Yoona is already by his side, arms folded serenely across her chest. “Who was she?”
Jonghyun blinks. “Who? Taemin? That was a boy.”
Yoona’s eyes widen, jaw hanging slack. “Seriously?” She looks past Jonghyun’s shoulder as if doing so would help her see Taemin. But Taemin’s been gone for the past minute and Jonghyun briefly finds himself wondering if Taemin’s made it to their room yet.
Yoona laughs on tenterhooks, tucking strands of her hair behind her ear as she eyes Jonghyun. Jonghyun smiles back. “What?”
“Nothing.” Yoona shakes her head, eyes crinkling into a smile that Jonghyun can only distinguish as relief. “I was just getting a little jealous.”
Jonghyun leaves her a smile, even if slightly weak. The way he bites the inside of his lip registers on Yoona. They’ve known each other for years and they’re still playing this game. Loving Yoona was a terrible prison, Jonghyun knew this, but he asked to be incarcerated and in the duration of his stay in the cell, he sometimes wonders if when Yoona does decide that now is the time for them, will he still feel locked up? Or would that suggestion of a step further into their flat line friendship constitute as his freedom?
He pushes the thoughts aside, lacing his fingers through her hair and cupping her cheek. It was easy to fall back in. It wasn’t as if they’ve never fallen back together. What was difficult was having to deal with everything in between, like studying in separate colleges and having so much history to take into consideration. But he’d like to think that there was always something between them, that when they first smiled at each other during freshmen year back in high school, there was a spark for the both of them.
Yoona clings at his wrist, leading his hand away as she smiles shyly.
Or maybe it was all just him. And maybe, he shouldn’t be locking himself up so much in her box. “Have you eaten?”
“No, I haven’t.” Yoona offers him a pout and Jonghyun takes it because he sees years of Yoona in every simple gesture.
“Should I treat you to dinner?” Jonghyun pretends to hesitate until Yoona beats him down with her judging stare. He gives in. Of course he does.
~o~
Jonghyun isn’t used to returning to the room without the lights off when he knows that Taemin is inside. So far, in knowing Taemin he’s gathered enough to write a mini novel about the boy’s fears. Because Taemin has a long list of them.
Jonghyun ventures into the room shaded in variations of black and certain streaks of moonlight cast by the windows and the balcony’s sliding door. Taemin is in his bed, new sheets still in the package they came in on the floor. Taemin makes use of his old blanket to wrap himself up, no pillows or anything else. Jonghyun frowns at Taemin’s back, walking over quietly.
“Taemin.” Jonghyun whispers. He notices the way Taemin’s shoulders move slightly. “Taemin, it’s 7:30. You’re sleeping already?”
“I don’t feel so good.” Comes Taemin’s meek response.
“No? Why don’t you turn the light on?”
“It hurts my eyes.”
Jonghyun comes a little closer, cautiously sitting next to Taemin on the mattress. He pats Taemin’s shoulder. “Hey, turn around.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.” Jonghyun rolls his eyes and Taemin doesn’t need much persuasion.
Taemin rolls over, shifting and bones cracking as he stretches his legs down. He keeps his eyes closed while Jonghyun uses the back of his hand to feel Taemin’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever. I don’t think so. Where does it hurt?”
“My head.” Taemin answers, eyes still closed and hands flat by his side. The shadows on his face increasing the lines in which his lips are drawn downcast. Jonghyun smiles for no apparent reason but he is worried. He walks over to his desk, and opens the lowest drawer where he keeps his aspirins.
He prepares one in a glass of water and offers the fizzy medicine induced liquid to Taemin. Taemin opens his eyes finally, his face accommodating the fizz of the water and screws his eyes back shut. “No!” Taemin shouts before hiding is mouth behind his clamped hands, his elbow almost knocking Jonghyun’s hand over.
Jonghyun saves the glass with his other hand, and then stares at Taemin incredulously. “Taemin, come on. Don’t be a baby.” Jonghyun orders softly as he tugs at Taemin’s wrist. Taemin keeps his grip firm.
Taemin mumbles something incomprehensible behind his hands.
“Taemin, stop it. Drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”
Taemin does more muffled shouting behind his hand that sounds a lot like la la la la, I can’t hear youuuu.
This goes on for a bit, Jonghyun trying to keep his temper at an acceptable level while Taemin muffles his retorts. And by the time that Jonghyun’s patience is running out he is left with two options. The first is to just let it go and let Taemin sleep it off. The second involves beating Taemin with the handle of the mop. And since Jonghyun isn’t about to go bully his roommate (even if it is for the greater good) he stands up while Taemin continues to sing a nursery rhyme behind his hands. Jonghyun walks over to the bathroom, draining the contents of the glass in the sink.
When Jonghyun walks back inside the room Taemin is still singing. Jonghyun repeatedly shouts Taemin’s name over and over until the boy shuts up. When Taemin opens his eyes he expects to see something violent in Jonghyun’s eyes, possibly prepare himself for a glass hitting his skull. But all he sees is Jonghyun sighing at him exhaustedly as he places the empty glass back on his desk.
Taemin takes his hands away, placing them over one another on his blanket as Jonghyun walks over to his own bed and plops down, rubbing his eyes with his hands while pushing his feet out of his shoes. Jonghyun’s mouth stretches into a yawn as he pushes his arms over his head, extending his joints.
Taemin blinks. “I don’t like medicine.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Jonghyun answers flatly. Taemin isn’t quite sure if he upset Jonghyun somehow or if his sudden change of mood has anything to do with the events that transpired earlier today. Taemin wants to test it without seeming nosy. “Was that your girlfriend?” This was probably not the best way to start. But Taemin’s mouth motors it out without his consent and Jonghyun is already eyeing him from his bed with a lazy sideway glance.
“No.” Jonghyun answers, gaze trailing along the edges of Taemin’s bed frame. “She’s a long time friend.”
“Oh.” Taemin twists his neck back to stare up at the ceiling. “Are you in love with her?”
There’s a pregnant pause that ensues and it hits Taemin the wrong way. Taemin keeps his eyes off Jonghyun, focusing on the ceiling and struggling to think of something else to talk about. But Jonghyun breathes out profoundly, and then clicks his tongue. “Sometimes I think I love her. Sometimes I wish I never met her. D’you understand?”
“No.” Taemin answers to the ceiling, letting his reply float along with Jonghyun’s statement. It’s true. Taemin doesn’t comprehend emotions past his maturity level and he believes himself to be too young for topics such as love or hate or anything akin to that. “How does that work?”
Jonghyun places his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling as well. “My mom once said that I’ll know she’s special if when I’m around her I’ll feel a hundred butterflies in my stomach. With Yoona I’ve felt that way before. It’s just that she’s asked me to wait for so long that the butterflies are dying one by one. And now I’m worried that by the time she’s ready there won’t be any left.”
Taemin considers this, his fingers moving against one another on his stomach. “Hey Jonghyun.”
“Yeah.”
“What if. I feel that way about someone. But it’s not… uhmm…”
“What is it?”
“You know what? It’s nothing.” Taemin assures him. Taemin rolls his head to the side to smile at Jonghyun but when he does Jonghyun is looking at him apprehensively, the moonlight casting a playful flush on his skin. Taemin gives him an awkward smile before shifting to face the wall, his breathing somewhat labored. And then he recognizes that no, it wasn’t nothing.
~o~
It’s no secret anymore that Jinki is very fond of Taemin. Truth was, it was never a secret o begin with. Jinki’s insides are turned out for the world to see and his transparency, although disarming, is too obvious for his own good sometimes. Like he can’t help but shrivel and sigh whenever Taemin is close by. The extent of his fondness is measured by the times he visits Jonghyun and Taemin’s room and the times in which he takes Taemin’s hand in his and doesn’t let go.
Kibum ‘s taking his time, knee to knee with Taemin, the other pressed up against Jinki’s. He’s seated in between the line of Jinki’s stare and he’s giving Jonghyun a look that Jonghyun ignores for more of Taemin’s freshly cooked ramen. The four of them circle the rice cooker holding the ramen, Taemin holding the lid of the cooker beneath his chin while the rest of them make use of different sized plates to keep the soup from dribbling all the way down to the floor.
They have dinner like this now, in Taemin and Jonghyun’s room, Taemin’s cooking keeping them full for the past few weeks. Jinki has his stare fixed at Taemin’s every movement and it’s not the first time. And all of those times, Kibum realized, has just been building up to this point where Kibum is finally sick of the things that they aren’t saying. He’s ready to lay it thick, no matter how weird things get so when he says, “Jinki, will you please stop eye fucking Taemin for even fifteen minutes? I’m try’na eat here, boy.” he makes sure that everyone knows how much he means it.
With the last slurp of his noodles being the only sound heard before a minute of silence passes, Kibum finds peace in the awkward pursuit. “But I wasn’t.” Jinki tries, only to be countered with Kibum’s are-you-fucking-kidding-me stare.
“Whatchu mean you ain’t? You was eye fucking him, son. You was eye fucking the shit out of him. Even Jonghyun sees it. Right, Jjong?”
Jonghyun, for the first time during the entire exchange, lifts his head from his plate, brows pushing up to meet his hair line. “Huh?”
“Say Jinki was eye fucking Taemin.”
“Jinki was eye fuck-wait, what?” Jonghyun abruptly gives the two of them a look-Jinki shaking his head vigorously while Taemin pouts in confusion.
The conversation is cut short with Taemin suddenly bursting out laughing, nearly dropping his chopsticks in the process, Jonghyun following shortly after. Jinki smiles weakly (possibly out of guilt) while Kibum rolls his eyes and mutters “useless.” under his breath.
The rest of the days at school become a lot easier to live through for Jonghyun. He finishes his homework in time just so he can be early for Taemin’s cooking and teaches Taemin how to be more organized with his things so as to save more space. They spend most of whatever time they have free together and this doesn’t go unnoticed. The only reason rumors or anything of the like haven’t risen yet is because Taemin and Jonghyun are always seen with a group before leaving campus to go to Changmin’s café or the market.
Jonghyun’s world is small and for the first time it doesn’t matter to him. He liked routines because they were comfortable, however even he liked to play around every once in a while. So, one night after a stroll in the market Jonghyun and Taemin say goodnight to Jinki and Kibum and retreat to their rooms, yawning and stretching. Before Taemin can enter the bathroom to change Jonghyun throws his used sock at him and it lands on Taemin’s shoulder. Taemin remains in a perpetual cringe as he plucks the garment with his forefinger and thumb, tossing it in the laundry bin while Jonghyun watches with glee. “You wanna do something fun?” Jonghyun asks when Taemin comes back to walk over to his closet, rifling through his choices of pajama pants and shirts.
“I dunno.” Taemin straightens up with a pair of shorts and one of his large wife beaters. He shuts the closet door before walking over to his desk where he finds a ponytail. He stretches the material in his fingers, hands going to the back of his head to gather his auburn strands and tie it back in a messy collection by the crown. Jonghyun is oddly fascinated, but he’s long accepted the reality of Taemin’s looks, how the delicateness may seem appealing and transfixing which will explain why Jonghyun’s glued to his every graceful movement. Taemin was just simply a vision, there was no denying that. May Jonghyun be straight, a boy or what have you, the fact of the matter is, Taemin was pretty. “Will I have to spend any money?”
The middle of Jonghyun’s forehead creases, brows drawing together to accompany the dubious smile on his lips. “Why would you think that?”
Taemin laughs vaguely, exhaustion evident in the way he tugs his ponytail tight.
“Are you tired?” Jonghyun asks.
Taemin pushes his lips to one side in consideration. “Not really.” The truth was, yes. Taemin was tired to the bone and he was certain that one of his toes had gone to sleep in the midst of their walk back to the dorms. “Why?”
Jonghyun’s eyes light up mischievously and although it creates a childish and can’t-help-but-smile-at expression to shine across his face the unpredictability of the workings of his mind worries Taemin slightly. Jonghyun gets up from the bed, taking Taemin’s wrist when he walks past.
Jonghyun turns the knob of the door and pulls it open. “Jong-“
“Ssh.” Jonghyun cuts his protest, forefinger pressed to Taemin’s lips. He tightens his grip around Taemin’s wrists, head turning toward either side of the hallway to make sure that it’s clear.
In a second or two, Taemin’s being pulled by the wrist down the hall, following Jonghyun’s back, feet heavy as he nearly trips over his feet in his haste.
Jonghyun and Taemin run out of the building, down to the grounds. He follows Jonghyun all the way to the back of the school where the pool is fenced but no higher than their torsos.
Jonghyun easily hops over the gate to cross over to the pool, Taemin following shortly after a moment’s hesitance.
Jonghyun walks slowly to the edge of the pool, the water stretching on both sides widely, the water blue and glowing as it plays on their skins. Taemin stands next to Jonghyun, arms circling around his stomach to hug himself warm from the cool drift escaping the stretch of water.
Jonghyun’s eyes are directed on the surface of the water, the surface where reflections of the light above was painted in a hazy glow of color to smear the ripples. Jonghyun looks almost hypnotized by the sight of colors swaying, hopping in the dancing lines and creases of the surface.
Taemin thinks that Jonghyun’s face-the slopes of the angles shine perfectly in a shade of hazy, faint blue, like tonight, under stars and tints of light-is remarkable and it can’t be a good sign, can it? Because Taemin is worrying on his bottom lip as he studies the harsh lines, the ups and downs of Jonghyun’s profile, the ways in which the outlines are perfectly imperfect, the ways in which his fingers can easily graze and trace and get lost in the path.
Taemin’s fingers are suddenly burning with incomprehensible desire, inexplicable need to fill the pads with a contrast only Jonghyun’s skin can provide. But before anything else can evolve and before Taemin’s brain can find normal function Jonghyun jumps and lands into the water, breaking the calm surface with the splash of his body.
“What the!” Taemin shouts as Jonghyun’s head pops above the water. Jonghyun laughs into the air, flicking his head to one side to rid his eyes of water and soaked strands of his fringe. Taemin’s hands are balled into fists at his sides, nearing the edge as Jonghyun floats and smiles up at him.
“What?” Jonghyun asks when Taemin doesn’t respond for a good thirty seconds. “You need a written invitation?”
“I’m not getting in there.”
“The water’s really nice.”
“It’s against the rules! If the guards find us-“
“Rules are meant to be broken, don’t you know that? Come on, Taemin. Stop squeezing that stick up your ass and join me.”
“No.” Taemin folds his arms across his chest, eyes darting behind him to make sure no guards can be found around them. “You come out, Jonghyun.”
“Have it your way. You can go back to the dorm yourself.”
“But.” Taemin pinches a patch of his skin. “But the lights are all off.”
Jonghyun leans back, now doing butterfly strokes and purposefully ignoring Taemin.
“Jonghyun.” Taemin calls out when Jonghyun is leaving the middle of the pool. “Jonghyun..”
Taemin anxiously throws looks over his shoulder, weighing his options. It’s not like he’s going to get expelled for swimming. And it’s not like he does this every day. And… there are so many reasons to just do things. Even if you are scared, fear can be overlooked when you’re desperate for something you can’t quite comprehend.
Taemin enters the pool slowly, sitting on the edge and pushing himself down inch by inch. The water is cold but not uncomfortably so. The tips of his hair are shaped in an upside down arrow, every strand soaked and heavy just like Taemin’s clothes. Jonghyun swims back to Taemin, obviously pleased. “I knew you’d see things my way eventually.”
“I’m giving you twenty minutes. Then we’re leaving.” Taemin commands.
As a response Jonghyun laughs, hops up and sinks Taemin’s head into the water. Bubbles break the surface and Jonghyun counts one to three, and then releases Taemin, panting and spitting water out. He rubs his eyes free of water, not bothering to pull his hair away from his neck.
“That wasn’t funny!” Taemin says when Jonghyun smiles at him. “I could have drowned.”
“Don’t say that.”
“What?”
“Did you know…” Jonghyun’s voice drops to a whisper. “Someone did drown here. A girl. From a long time ago.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m serious.” Jonghyun moves closer while Taemin looks around the water, the temperature dropping suddenly. “I hear she comes out at night…”
While Taemin is preoccupied with a mysterious bubble somewhere in the distance Jonghyun blows on his face. Taemin is startled, his instant reaction is to cover his face and scream into his hands. Jonghyun swears he’s never laughed so hard in his life.
~o~
Kibum is trying on baseball caps in a local accessory shop in the market, sticking his lips out and tilting his head high at the mirror to see how it looks on him. He does a bunch of other ridiculous poses too and all Jonghyun can do is get distracted by the gestures and the postures. Jonghyun is vaguely aware of Taemin and Jinki somewhere near the cashier speculating the key chains.
Jonghyun’s general attention is torn between the image of Taemin and Jinki bumping shoulders and Kibum pulling all of these faces in front of the full length mirror. He doesn’t mind Jinki’s little crush. There was no use hiding something so text book blatant, but Jonghyun doesn’t know about Jinki and Taemin. The combination doesn’t sit right with him somehow. Taemin and Jinki are both afraid of the dark, which in itself doesn’t balance things out for them. Taemin needs someone who can withstand the dark and can comfort him through blackouts. As insignificant as this all may seem, at the time Jonghyun thought that everything regarding his rejection of the idea of Taemin and Jinki together was nothing but valid.
But then again, this is all about friendship and being a good hyung to his dongsaeng. That’s what Jonghyun pegs it to be.
Jonghyun nears Kibum with the intention of distracting himself from the pair. “Hey, Kibum.”
“Yo.”
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” Kibum lifts the cap on his head and exchanges it for a new, red and black one.
“You know…”
“I ain’t no mind reader. “ Kibum says with a sniff, fitting the snug cap onto his head and smiling at himself in the mirror.
“Act and… dress… well… the way that you do?” Jonghyun reaches for one of the caps stacked, fiddling with it just because he feels kind of amazingly awkward without something to do with his hands.
“Oh why?” Kibum is looking at him through the reflection, one brow raised. “You think this got somethin’ to do witchu, homie?”
Jonghyun is genuinely baffled. “What?”
“That’s the problem with society these days.” Kibum takes the cap off and spins around to face Jonghyun. With his hand holding the hat he waves it around to emphasize his point. “So narcissistic. You always think everything about everyone’s got somethin’ to do with you. What I do with mahself has nothin’ to do with you, believe it or not.”
Jonghyun shrugs, still playing with the cap in his hands, gaze low. “I just figured that life would be a lot easier for you if you just blended in.”
“You mean like you?” Kibum scoffs and Jonghyun is only slightly offended. He would have been completely insulted had he not deserved that. “You need some apples, son?”
“Apples?”
“Yeah, apples. For your high motherfuckin’ horse.” Kibum makes a gesture of a cowboy straddling a horse briefly. “Get off it. Didn’t it ever occur to you that there are people in this world that genuinely don’t give a rat’s ass about what other people-other people like you think?”
“I’m not trying to be rude.”
“Neither am I.” Kibum shrugs. “Just realize this, Jjong. You’re a good guy. Wouldn’t like to see you missing some good opportunities because of this being a little too narrow.” When Kibum says this he points a finger to touch the center of Jonghyun’s forehead. Then he gives the most subtle look towards Taemin and Jinki who were now testing the sizes of the bracelets in one of the shelves.
Kibum doesn’t say anything and Jonghyun isn’t quite sure if that glance was meant to mean anything, if Kibum knows something that Jonghyun isn’t willing to admit. Jonghyun frowns, returning the cap to the stand and leaving the store with Kibum’s eyes following his trail.
Outside his dials Yoona’s number and asks her where she is.
“I just got home from school. Why?”
“No plans today?”
“You know me, Jonghyun. All work, no play.”
Jonghyun releases a laugh, feeling a bit awkward about it afterwards when Yoona doesn’t react. “So, do you maybe want to meet today?”
~o~
Jonghyun comes home a little after twelve. He toes his shoes off and walks over to his desk where a bracelet, green vines surrounding blue stones, catches his eye. He halts, his direction switching to near his desk instead, where the bracelet is resting on top of his notes. He remembers Taemin fiddling with something like this in the market earlier just before he left to meet with Yoona.
With the bracelet in his hand he glances at Taemin’s sleeping form over his shoulder, his pulse quickening.
He curls his fingers around the bracelet, feeling the material digging into his skin. Jonghyun stuffs it in his drawer, closing it slowly.
~o~
Jonghyun can’t pinpoint the exact time and day when things go awry. But if there’s an event to take notice of it is most definitely the day when he sees Jinki wearing the same bracelet Taemin bought for him. Jonghyun tries his hardest to nonchalantly point it out then feels stupid because it will always come off that way, no matter how he asks. So he gives it a go, a quick, “Taemin got you one too, huh?” and Jinki perks up at the mention of his new accessory gifted to him by Taemin. “He got Kibum one too. But Kibum doesn’t wear stuff like this so.” Jinki goes back to copying notes off of someone else’s notebook while Jonghyun remains by the door of the empty classroom, his mind reeling.
For his next break he calls Yoona up and asks her if she’s busy. She teases him about his frequent texts and calls lately (“Kim Jonghyun, I think you’re missing me too much”) and Jonghyun thinks that maybe that was it. Maybe he just misses Yoona. Maybe he needs to see as much of her as he can.
He meets Yoona after his classes. Jonghyun shows her the directions to the market because he thinks that she’ll like it there. He knows how fond Yoona is of things that are sold for cheap (ranging from useless to gold) so he already expects her to smile enthusiastically the moment they arrive at the market.
“I’m impressed.” She says after unbuckling her seatbelt.
Jonghyun stares at her questioningly.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way. I just know how much you dislike crowds like these. College has changed you I guess?”
The first store they enter, as expected once again, is a clothes shop where everything is thrown in a bin and you get to buy three shirts in a bulk for cheap. Yoona rifles through the clothes’ bins along with other older women and students excitedly while Jonghyun waits beside her, holding his smile steady. After a few minutes they come out of the store with Yoona’s new purchased belongings in a plastic bag carried by Jonghyun.
Jonghyun follows her to the store that sold different scented oils and Jonghyun’s heart drops at first. He’d like to think that he doesn’t know why but the knowledge and recognition of whatever it was that keeps him tentative while entering the store troubles him more.
Yoona sifts through the bottles and chats with the seller about prices and colognes. Jonghyun stands behind her, eyeing the identical bottles and trying to remember one in particular. Mint and coconuts…
“Jonghyun?” Yoona’s voice registers on him and he blinks at her as if being awakened from a dream. “I said, isn’t that Jinki?”
Jonghyun turns his head and finds Jinki passing by the window.
“Jinki!” Yoona calls out before he can.
The pair walks out of the store to meet Jinki who crushes Yoona in a hug as soon as they meet. “Oh my god! Jinki, I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Jinki laughs, eyes crinkling. “Yeah, I know.” He says sarcastically, aiming his eyes at Jonghyun. Yoona’s cheeks flush.
“Did you come here alone?”
“No.” Jinki shakes his head. Then a sort of sparkle flashes temporarily before his smile reappears, more coy this time. “I, uhm. I actually came with a friend.”
And before Yoona can playfully tease him about it Taemin appears from one of the stores, smiling instantly at the sight of Yoona and Jonghyun. Jonghyun’s jaw clenches.
Jinki introduces Taemin to Yoona and Jonghyun almost cringes when she just fawns over how long Taemin’s lashes are.
And Yoona, being the friendly person that she is, invites both Jinki and Taemin to lunch with them.
With the four of them seated at the table, the waiter circling them to offer them clean plates, Yoona and Jinki chat away and catch up. Taemin is seated beside Jonghyun, playing with the edges of the napkin in his lap. Jonghyun wants to make Taemin stop fidgeting so much, but he feels curiously uncomfortable in the setting.
Taemin catches Jonghyun staring some times. The first time they exchanged small smiles while the rest of the stares just pass by without much acknowledgement. Jonghyun has all of these questions in his head, voiced out by his mind and ready to spill from his lips.
What are you doing here with Jinki? was kind of the main question he had in mind, but what would he stand to gain from a single attempt at interrogation. How does Taemin going out to stroll about the market alone with Jinki concern him in anyway?
Jonghyun considers the matter regarding Taemin’s sexuality, how he stated that he wasn’t gay a couple of months ago. But placing that as a weapon of argument wouldn’t be logical since Taemin never promised him anything. And so what if Taemin liked Jinki just as much? Why would that be such a bad thing? Taemin wouldn’t be Jinki’s first boyfriend and Jonghyun knows how Jinki treats his current paramours. Jinki’s loyal, charming, smart and has a wonderful smile that could light up a whole room and then some. Taemin and Jinki getting together wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
And then it comes to Jonghyun’s mind… many images similar to this one. Seeing Jinki and Taemin in the market together. Soon they’ll be holding hands, soon Taemin will be wearing one of Jinki’s jackets since winter is about to enter, soon Taemin won’t always be in their room since he’d want to sleep beside his boyfriend…
“I, uhm…” Jonghyun cuts in on whatever it is that Yoona and Jinki is talking about. From beneath the table, hidden from Jinki and Taemin’s stare, he circles his fingers around Yoona’s hand and squeezes it. “I’m sorry to have to do this but I just remembered that Yoona and I made reservations in another restaurant.”
Yoona raises one brow. “We did?”
“Yes.” Jonghyun widens his eyes at her. “We can’t let those reservations go to waste.”
Yoona’s eyes do the opposite, narrowing at Jonghyun’s attempts to get them out of there. She is obviously enjoying herself. She tries to tug her hand away from Jonghyun’s grip.
“Yoona…”
“I think I’ll stay.” Her reply is unexpected, the only one of the day. And Jonghyun loosens his grip on her hand without meaning too. She manages to wiggle her hand away from Jonghyun and place it on the table. “Forget about the reservation Jonghyun.”
“But I made them in advance. We had those reservations first. We can’t just drop them because something new came along.” Jonghyun leans over the table, frowning at Yoona.
Jinki takes a sip of water stiffly while Taemin holds his breath, watching the exchange with inquisitively.
“Then choose.” Yoona says with a half shrug.
Jonghyun’s lips part, empty without a reply ready.
Choose. Choose, she says. Choose between what he already has and what he can risk to have.
Jonghyun licks his bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth. He takes a moment, eyes on his lap. Then he pats his hands on the front of his jeans before standing up. “I’m just gonna go then.”
The trio left by the table stares at him blankly as he walks outside of the humble restaurant. “What’s wrong with him?” Jinki asks, his question open for either of them to answer.
Yoona averts her gaze to her glass, fingers tracing the rim. “He was fine before. I guess he’s just upset.”
“About the lunch reservations?”
Just then, Taemin exhales, a weight set on his shoulders that won’t come off. When he looks up he catches Yoona’s concerned eyes as she answers, “About things getting in the way, I guess. He’s never been able to deal with change very well.”
~o~
What Taemin wrestles to understand is what is it this time?
What did he do to make Jonghyun act this way around him. He could compare this to their first meeting except, things were different then. When Jongyhyun drew that line between them at least Taemin knew where he stood, knew where not to cross and what not to do.
Now it was much more than a line. It was an invisible wall trailing where the line used to be. It keeps Jonghyun from joining him during breakfast and dinner like he usually does, keeps him from smiling at Taemin when they pass by the halls of their college.
Three days in Taemin comes up with the stupid idea that maybe he should have never given Jonghyun that bracelet. The blue of the stones in the bracelet just reminded him so much of the blue reflecting on his skin that night at the pool. And he tried as much as he could to be inconspicuous about it, buying two more for Jinki and Kibum. He figures that this is a sign to keep himself where he belongs, outside of Jonghyun’s boundaries.
~o~
Taemin’s used to it by now, the teasing and the taunting because of his hair and his narrow frame. Just being in school or leaving the house, people always tend to stare and figure him out. And those who find him to be off the scale that measures normality think that they have a problem with him.
So, Taemin gets it. He gets why when he passes the halls of his college alone, the girls stare and the boys snicker behind their hands. What he never really experienced before was being legitimately bullied physically. He was in no mood to tolerate the four boys passing by him, one of them purposefully bumping into his shoulder.
Taemin, whose mind had been lifting in and out throughout the day to begin with, doesn’t anticipate the attack, rendering his balance to tip over. He falls back, his sketchbook and bag falling to the ground, papers flying in a scattered pattern.
Taemin huffs his fringe out of his eyes in frustration, the boys looking back just to watch him pick up his things. The other students continue with their schedule, only stopping abruptly to watch the scene of Taemin gathering his things while the four attackers behind him chuckle and stare at his back.
They’re mumbling something about his hair, something about his clothes and Taemin lets it all go. Until they mumble something ending with the word faggot. Taemin has been in search of a way to let out his frustration for the past week, rid himself of built up angst until every drop is spent. So when he hears that word it acts as a trigger that overcomes him. He rises, tossing his things back to fall on the ground. The clatter brings students passing by to a halt this time because Taemin’s sporting a scowl when he spins around. Then the whisper campaign ensues.
I think he’s gonna fight back.
There is no way. This guy’s gonna get the shit kicked out of him.
Oh shit, he’s walking over to them.
The largest of the four brings himself to stand before Taemin, the remaining three challenging Taemin with their obnoxious smirks. “You got something to say?” Big Guy asks.
Taemin annoyingly scratches the top of his bangs, messing it up. “Apologize.”
The four let out a guffaw of a laugh and now a circle of students is beginning to form in order to witness the possible ass kicking of the year. “You can’t be serious.”
“You bumped into me on purpose. Apologize.”
“I’ve got a better idea.” Big Guy cracks is knuckles and stretches his neck and Taemin knows what’s next. Maybe he’s predicting it. To be knocked out and exactly what everyone expects for once. “How about your face and my fist have a little chit chat? Let’s see if they can figure something out?”
Chuckles resonate from his friends. Taemin closes his eyes, ready for the blow.
“Apologize.” Taemin’s eyes snap open at the familiar voice. When he cocks his head over his shoulder Jonghyun is walking over to Taemin’s side, dropping his bag to the floor. “Just apologize.”
“I don’t apologize to no faggot and I sure as hell don’t owe an apology to his faggot boyfriend.”
Taemin’s lips part then, but Jonghyun intervenes, “You know, recent studies on homophobia show that the foundation of your fear comes from your unmistakable arousal as a reaction to homoerotic pornography.”
“You saying I jack off to your kind?” Big Guy places his meaty hands on his chest, chuckling while the rest of his posse makes rude gestures.
“I’m saying that the reason you hate him so much,” Jonghyun nods his head towards Taemin. “is probably because you get a boner whenever you see him. And hey, that’s cool. But I think he’d rather drink garbage juice than fuck you.”
The last thing Jonghyun sees is a fat fist nearing his face with impressive speed.
~o~
Jonghyun doesn’t wake up in a clinic. But he squints when he first bats his eyes open, momentarily blinded by something bright. It takes him a second to realize that it’s the sun and that he’s outdoors, lying on a vacant bench.
When he stretches his neck to sit up pain shoots through his bones. Instinctively, his mouth twists and that gestures welcomes a whirlwind of aches to trample over him.
The sun is suddenly blocked from Jonghyun’s view and the change of light sends Jonghyun’s hand to cover his eyes to allow his pupils to adjust to the change. Taemin’s face abruptly comes into view; his hair tied back, an ice pack in his hands. Jonghyun stares up at him silently for a few moments, blinking.
Taemin sinks to his knees next to the bench and pats the ice pack gently on Jonghyun’s jaw. Jonghyun recoils at the contact, his eyes screwing shut. He takes the ice pack from Taemin’s hand and positions himself to sit up, groaning a bit as he makes room for Taemin on the bench.
Taemin takes a seat next to him, not close enough to still keep whatever it is that is between them. Taemin wrings his hands together, nibbling on his bottom lip. Jonghyun holds the ice pack to his jaw, taking it off a few times then placing it back again. He drops it eventually on his lap and looks over at Taemin.
Taemin feels Jonghyun’s stare so he strains his neck to fix their gazes together. Taemin’s eyes are unreadable and Jonghyun feels nervous.
“How do I look?” Jonghyun tries, taking the ice pack again and patting it on the sore areas of his jaw.
Jonghyun has a bruise painted on his jaw flashing red and blue. “Dashing.”
Jonghyun tenders a short laugh, looking away. Taemin fishes out Jonghyun’s phone from his pocket and hands it over.
“Your mom called a few times.”
“Shit. Really?” Jonghyun lays the ice pack beside him, taking the phone with both hands and flipping it open to be greeted with several missed calls on the screen. “Did you answer any of her calls?”
Taemin shakes his head, a quiet no.
Just as Jonghyun’s holding the phone to his ear and the ring on the other end of the line delivers, butterflies appear from behind them, surrounding them as they take flight into the open air.
Taemin counts them one by one by the color of their wings while Jonghyun just admires them, his eyes tapering. “There are a lot of butterflies here.”
“My mom once said that I’ll know she’s special if when I’m around her I’ll feel a hundred butterflies in my stomach.”
Taemin smiles to himself, taking down his hair from the ponytail and shaking his hair free. “Maybe they escaped.”
“From where?” Jonghyun spins his head around to look for a cage of sorts that could possibly hold the butterflies captive. The line goes busy so Jonghyun tries his mother’s number again.
“When I opened my mouth just then.” Taemin replies, eyes on his hands.
Suddenly, Jonghyun can’t hear the ringing from his phone. All he hears is the ring in Taemin’s voice, the seriousness of everything and what it could mean. What it does mean. Nothing is more audible now than the combination of his heart and pulse beating against his skin. Gradually, Jonghyun glances at Taemin and finds the other boy playing with the ends of his hair, avoiding Jonghyun’s stare.
When he looks up Jonghyun can’t look away. Taemin drags his stare all over Jonghyun’s face then finally smiles. “Did your mom pick up?”
“What?” Then Jonghyun recognizes the beep of the busy line again. “No.”
Jonghyun flips the phone close, fighting to keep his breathing steady even if he should probably keep his respiration in the same pace as his circulation.
“You should probably try again. She might worry.”
Jonghyun feels his whole body heat up out of the blue so he reaches for the ice pack with his one hand, the other flipping his phone open again. “Yeah. You’re right. I probably should.”
*masterficlist | add me | tumblr
-- part two. inspired by this movie :)
new master fic list on here. don't
forget that all my fics are tagged.
also, DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE ONE
MIGHT FIND A MINUS 1/INSTRUMENTAL
VERSION OF RING DING DONG THAT
ISN'T OF A KARAOKE QUALITY? ty <3