what to say

[hippym0m]

It sucks that I actually have to type out my thoughts. I know what they are and I want to get them out but I'm just too damn lazy. Plus they never come out fully or exactly the way I want. I'm showing myself how much more I want to be away from society but still be a part of it. I tried to make friends out here but mostly I think they think I'm weird and I think they're bland or are intimidated by them. It's worse than starting a new school when you're a kid. We're trying to buy our first house. We want to live in Silver Plume, CO which has about 211 people total. It's got a new lil park and about 1/4 of the current population have kids under 18. We've already met a few at the cabin at Loveland and they are very chill and friendly kids. Those are the teenagers. The houses are mostly old victorian style that have been updated and I you can walk from one end of the "town" to the other in about 20 min. I've really never lived in a small town like this and I really hope we can get something there. It's really so much different than towns in TX. I miss Austin so much sometimes, but not many other places. I'm sure there are an equal amount of pros and cons for both places, TX and CO, this just feels more like how I've always wanted to be. My dreads are growing out nicely and I've started stomaching some world news lately. I havent been able to pay attention to what's going on in the world for so long because it always upsets me so much. I think I'm getting old enough now to think rationally and learn how to do something about the things I dont like and live with what I have to. I hope living that far out in the stix that I'll meet some interesting people who are not interesting in the crazy way but in a down to earth way. Oh, and I recently found out that the area we are currently in is a meth mecca so I'm really glad we're getting out. It's funny how nice things seem on the outside. I'm glad I'm doing research on the area we want to go to.

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