Love will scar your make-up
Suho/Kai, Kai/Lu Han, and more. PG-13. 2.5k words.
Fresh from being promoted to Head Cupid, Joonmyun tries settling the battle between the mind and the heart once and for all. (written for a
request @ seoulfulness)
love will scar your make-up
Target #1 is a tall, young girl. Soojung, that's what they call her. The mission involves making Soojung realizes that she's always been attracted to the relatively shorter girl she's always been doting on. "Your classic case of a bully actually having a crush on the one being bullied," Joonmyun remembers Kris telling him. "Should be fairly easy since Soojung's on the brink of admitting her feelings to herself. It's just a matter of shooting that arrow at the right place and the right time."
"How about a classic victim-helping-the-bully-get-through-shit execution, then?" Joonmyun asks. The corner of his eyes crinkle as he smiles a bit too wide - he can feel the stretch of his muscles and see the look on Kris' face that he only fashions when Joonmyun has that grin on his lips.
"Bully gets bullied by kids older than her, pretty please? With cherries on top."
Joonmyun chuckles. Kris sounds funny with his newfound affinity for the phrase "pretty please". Joonmyun then nods slowly, then holds a thumb up for Kris to see.
"Your wish is my command."
The following day, Joonmyun arranges for a group of girls to gang up on Soojung because of her bad hair day, and makes the shorter girl - Sunyoung - ward the mean girls off.
"Why are you helping me," Soojung asks as she dusts herself off. Sunyoung looks up and shrugs, laughing a little as she does so.
"I don't know. Guess I just found it funny that the bully's the one being bullied now."
Sungyoung picks up one of the books on the floor and hands it to Soojung, and Soojung furrows her eyebrows and looks at Sunyoung intently, as if scrutinizing the latter.
"Hey, I just helped you. I'd appreciate it if you didn't do anything bad to me-"
"Thanks," Soojung says, unrehearsed and unceremonious. "Thanks. For helping me."
Joonmyun watches as Sunyoung dotes on Soojung over lunch, watches as Soojun bites her lower lip when Sungyoung casually rests an arm on her shoulder. Beside him, Kris whispers, "Cutiepies," and the smile on Joonmyun's lips grows wider.
---
Target #2 is a certain Kim Kibum. He somehow ends up in bed with his thesis partner, Choi Minho, after celebrating getting full marks on their thesis. "This is a mistake," Kibum says in between taking sips of his morning coffee. "Clearly, a huge mistake-"
"Of course, he doesn't mean that," Joonmyun whispers, then shakes his head. He's seen too many cases like this before, and they all end up in a funny and messy confession over alcohol. "Kids these days."
"Careful, grandpa. Time is ticking." Kris gestures at Joonmyun's wrist watch.
"Right."
Joonmyun nods and aims an arrow at Kibum, and blows a hint of a kiss in Minho's general direction. Not too long after, Minho traps Kibum against the fridge, arms on either side of him, and presses his lips on the latter's. The kiss is sloppy, hungry, maybe even childish, and there's a thin string of saliva connecting Minho and Kibum's when they part.
"A huge mistake," Minho echoes.
Kibum laughs and hits Minho on the arm. "Worst mistake ever," he remarks, and erupts into a peal of laughter.
---
Target #3 is a man named Kim Jongin. He's a surgeon in a city hospital, and he's volunteered to be on duty on both Christmas and the New Year. "A bit of a workaholic, don't you think?" Kris comments after the whole introduction. "Much like someone I know."
Joonmyun laughs a little and waves Kris off. "I'm a lazy ass. I sleep on the job. I don't know what you're talking about."
He doesn't tell Kris that he knows a whole lot more about "this Jongin person". He met Jongin a couple of years ago, back in med school when he was still in training. Jongin was one of his first assignments; back then, he was tasked to make Jongin develop a crush on a boy named Taemin and, at the same time, develop a crush on one of his female seniors.
Joonmyun knew for a fact that Taemin would turn him down, eventually, but he had to fulfill his mission.
"So, who is he supposed to fall in love with now?" Joonmyun asks, then turns to Kris with a small smile on his lips. "The records say he's had too many heartbreaks to count. Well, just five, but you get the drift-"
"You sound different."
"And you sound funny." Joonmyun clears his throat. "The mission?"
Kris prolongs the staring game for a bit longer, then eventually breaks eye contact. "The guy he'll be operating on - the performer, Lu Han? He has to fall in love with him."
Joonmyun scans the files, checking the possible outcomes of the mission. There are three, but Joonmyun's eyes are fixed on the first - the operation doesn't go well, and Lu Han dies.
He takes a deep breath.
"I'm on it."
It's not like Joonmyun is a stranger to death. He's seen people die left and right, has seen them frolicking in the empty space just under the clouds, looking for a passageway to heaven. They're hollow until they make it through the barrier and, when they do, they want to go back to the empty space for fear of feeling pain again.
Being friends with Jongdae doesn't help, when Jongdae brings a bunch of spirits with him everytime he comes back from his missions. "This one's cute," Jongdae points out, gesturing at the one of the spirits. "His name's Minseok. I saved him from having to find out that his girlfriend was cheating on him by tripping him somewhere. Aren't I great?"
"Amazing," Joonmyun replies, scoffing. He then excuses himself to head back down and check on Jongin.
In the three days that he's been on the case, Jongin has already made progress. Daily checks of Lu Han's vital signs are now peppered with conversations about dancing and singing. "I've always wanted to sing, actually," Jongin casually mentions, a hint of shyness in the undertone of his voice. "I mean, I do sing, but my other friends sound so much better so I just stick to dancing."
Lu Han laughs a little and shakes his head. "How bad can you be?"
"Worse than you. I've heard you sing, and you're good."
"Can't be that bad." Lu Han gestures for Jongin to come closer. "Come on, sing."
There's hesitation in the furrow of Jongin's eyebrows as he parts his lips to start, then promptly presses them back together. He repeats this a few more times until Lu Han slaps him on the arm. He starts out shaky - Polaris is a song he hasn't sung in years, after all - but his voice gradually becomes steadier as the song goes on. He closes his eyes when the song peaks, and Joonmyun holds his breath, eager to see if Jongin will be able to hit the notes right.
"And that's it!" Jongin suddenly says, abruptly ending his performance. "I can't remember the rest. Besides, I'm not even getting paid to sing in front of you."
Lu Han scoffs. "Liar. The last few lines are of the same chorus you sang earlier. But whatever." Lu Han shifts in his position a little so that he's sitting up and that he can get a better view of Jongin. "You're singing a different song tomorrow. Practice makes perfect."
Joonmyun takes this as an opportunity to fire an arrow at Jongin.
"As long as you're my teacher, I'd be fine with that." Jongin blurts out.
Lu Han stares and gapes and eventually laughs at Jongin's sudden display of courage. Jongin, confused, furrows his eyebrows, asking, "What?" Joonmyun watches as the two get lost in a flurry of laughter, watches as Lu Han slaps Jongin on the arm and Jongin fastens the same hand Lu Han slapped him with on his arm, his fingers cold, but Lu Han's fingers even colder.
"Well, someone's been spending more time down there than the usual."
Joonmyun isn't surprised to see Kris behind him when he looks over his shoulder. Kris has a habit of appearing in places unannounced. He waves at Kris and raises a folder, signaling for the latter to come over. "They're straying off the path but the endings are still the same," Joonmyun begins. "Call me cheesy, but this has got to be Destiny at work."
"They made you Cupid for a reason," Kris replies, chuckling a little. "And you've got to talk to Kyungsoo about this. I'm not sure if he's approved this plan before having it deployed to you."
"D'you think it's Chanyeol? You know he can get crazy with creating plans."
Kris shrugs. "I'll go talk to Chanyeol, just in case. You go back down there and do your job."
Joonmyun knows very well that Kris sending him back to Earth is Kris' way of saying 'thank you' for giving him the chance to speak to Chanyeol. The logistics team of the Heart Department and Destiny Planners rarely get to work with each other, so Kris takes every opportunity to interact with Chanyeol. With a nod, Joonmyun excuses himself and disappears, traveling back to Earth, to Lu Han's room.
Lu Han's leg operation gets scheduled for next week. It's a simple enough procedure that Jongin talks only about positive results, promising, "You won't feel pain, not even a bit." With only a few days left until the operation, Jongin's visits become more frequent and last for longer periods of time. They spend an hour solving crossword puzzles, and dedicate another hour for Jongin's voice lessons.
"Just wait 'til I get approval to dance again," Lu Han says, index finger pointed straight at Jongin, a teasing smile on his lips. "I'll catch up to you, I really will!"
Joonmyun fires an arrow at Jongin. "You don't have to." And another. "Because I'm not going anywhere." And another. "I'm staying right here beside you."
Joonmyun notes the sharp rise of Lu Han's chest, the slightly parted lips, the look of confusion and amusement in Lu Han's eyes. Lu Han then nods slowly, and a smile surfaces on his lips.
"Alright, then."
Jongin grins, that same toothy grin that Joonmyun has seen before, possibly when Jongin finally scored a "date" with Taemin, or that one time when Jongin and Taemin were left alone in the dance club's practice room and they danced together for the first time. He fires an arrow at Lu Han, albeit not part of the plan, and leaves even before he can see Lu Han call out to Jongin before Jongin leaves, even before he can witness the beginnings of Jongin's failed love story once again.
"That was not part of the plan."
Joonmyun keeps his eyes fixed on the floor. He's been in the same situation years back, when he caused a wedding to be called off by firing an arrow at the groom's best friend and making the best friend stop the wedding. The act nearly cost him his job, but the good result saved him from being sacked.
"I know. I-"
"I don't understand why you're doing this again when you already know the repercussions of your actions." Kris massages his temples, eyes tightly shut and lips pressed thinly together. "Are you stupid?"
"Everything worked out in the end, okay. It's not as if I actually ruined a friendship or-"
"You don't get it, do you?" Kris stands from his seat and walks a few steps forward, closer to Joonmyun. "You fire an arrow at that Lu Han person and he returns Jongin's feelings. Then what? Lu Han will hate Jongin and blame Jongin for the decline of his career when Jongin screws up that operation? Or, you know, let's take a different route - the operation is a success, they get all lovey dovey for a few months until Jongin decides that he's too busy to be in love with a singer. He's a quitter, Joonmyun. You know he is. That thing with Taemin - Taemin turned him down because he just… disappeared!"
"I thought if Lu Han reciprocated earlier than expected, maybe Jongin wouldn't-"
"You thought that was the case. You're not sure about that yet. We stick to these plans for a reason, Joonmyun. We stick to them because they're the best route to take, the safest road to tread."
Joonmyun shakes his head. "But nothing's ever safe when it comes to falling in love."
Without another word, Joonmyun turns around and leaves.
The day of the operation finally comes. Jongin goes the usual routine of getting the vital signs, then gives Lu Han's hand a gentle squeeze. "It'll be alright," Jongin tells Lu Han as the latter gets ushered into the operating room. "It will be alright."
But things don't go according to plan.
What is supposed to be a quick operation turns into the most grueling ten minutes of Jongin's life. Things are going smoothly until Lu Han's heart rate shoots up, then down, and continues to fluctuate for the next few seconds. "What's happening," Jongin complains, voice still steady, but his hands are already trembling. "What the fuck is happening- We're losing him!"
"I think it's the anesthesia-"
"What do you mean you think it's the anesthesia? I told you to make sure to check that he's not allergic to this!"
Jongin struggles to stabilize Lu Han's heart rate, his condition, but to no avail. Lu Han's heart rate slowly drops, and Jongin still doesn't give up, calling out orders to remedy the situation.
Joonmyun shoots a glance Kyungsoo who's at the other end of the room and hangs his head low.
"He's- He's stabilizing! Dr. Kim, the patient is stabilizing!"
"That was a bold move."
Joonmyun chuckles. He stretches his arms behind his back, letting the burning sensation draw a line down his spine. He's as good as immobile for the next few months, but he doesn't really mind. Salvaging a life is a good exchange for his wings.
"Did you really have to, though? Kyungsoo was going to save him, anyway-"
"I had to bargain with your friend, a piece of me for a piece of life," Joonmyun says, interrupting. "Hard-headed, that one. He's quite the negotiator."
Kris laughs. "He's Destiny for a reason."
Joonmyun nods, then shifts his gaze to Jongin, then to Lu Han. He laughs a little; seeing two young men act like an oddly old couple - Jongin helping Lu Han sit up, and Lu Han squeezing Jongin's hand soon after - still makes him feel a bit hopeful about fairytale endings.
He opens Jongin's case folder and scribbles notes at the bottom, then signs it off.
Alternate ending, output still the same.
CASE CLOSED.
Kim Joonmyun
Head Cupid