Ehh...
There's days and moments I wonder if I'm leaning towards the borderline of a sociopath. There's only so many instances where you can ruin someone's psyche with 5-7 words, and not even realize you did it, before you wonder how far your empathy stretches to other people. I mean, what's the big fuss about devaluing the workmanship and value of a co-worker, when there's work still to be done? Are we going to stop everything just because your feelings are hurt? Oh, right, we have to fuss over, you know, interpersonal relationships and politics. Screw that.
The hypocrisy comes when trying to stick up for someone else's plight, and just coming off as morally jarring, because, what, you care? People will say, "Not my problem. Screw 'em." and from the other side of the coin, you look at the people saying that, and wonder why you would say something like that, when you can help out, and should. Bit of a conflict of personality and value, isn't it? It's easier to quantify wanting to help when you can help, when you don't have that much empathy, by making the colder calculation that helping someone else is just, 'Part of the job.' or 'Beneficial to me, in one way or another.' Of course, you don't say things like the latter, but you think it. The whole entire time you're doing a good deed, so a good deed will come back around to you, later. Not that you were in it from pride, professionalism or being a good little deity worshiper, but just the simple fact that providing assistance is a social currency to be earned and spent.
Ramble, ramble, ramble. Gawd, I've gotten to love writing more and more, if not just for the opportunity to act open and sociable, so people don't think I'm some strange little Columbine-to-be who is a hair-trigger from doing something infinitely regrettable. Sadly, being nice and sociable has the downside of people not fearing you as much, and being more wide open for people to try and screw you over, because they no longer fear setting you off. Yes, it's nice to not be such an outcast, as the previous years have sometimes been, but I kinda liked the fact that I could just look at someone strange, and they'd shut up and apologize for touching my bag of Doritos. That's power, right there. Get your damned, dirty ape claws off my Doritos!
The hypocrisy comes when trying to stick up for someone else's plight, and just coming off as morally jarring, because, what, you care? People will say, "Not my problem. Screw 'em." and from the other side of the coin, you look at the people saying that, and wonder why you would say something like that, when you can help out, and should. Bit of a conflict of personality and value, isn't it? It's easier to quantify wanting to help when you can help, when you don't have that much empathy, by making the colder calculation that helping someone else is just, 'Part of the job.' or 'Beneficial to me, in one way or another.' Of course, you don't say things like the latter, but you think it. The whole entire time you're doing a good deed, so a good deed will come back around to you, later. Not that you were in it from pride, professionalism or being a good little deity worshiper, but just the simple fact that providing assistance is a social currency to be earned and spent.
Ramble, ramble, ramble. Gawd, I've gotten to love writing more and more, if not just for the opportunity to act open and sociable, so people don't think I'm some strange little Columbine-to-be who is a hair-trigger from doing something infinitely regrettable. Sadly, being nice and sociable has the downside of people not fearing you as much, and being more wide open for people to try and screw you over, because they no longer fear setting you off. Yes, it's nice to not be such an outcast, as the previous years have sometimes been, but I kinda liked the fact that I could just look at someone strange, and they'd shut up and apologize for touching my bag of Doritos. That's power, right there. Get your damned, dirty ape claws off my Doritos!