BuzzKill
the british have an adjective...
Gutted.
one of the greatest things about living over here was learning that word.
it is the exact description of how i felt last night.
i was leaving the club walking down the stairs when a hand grazed my stomach. i looked up into those jake gyllenhaal eyes and there it was, gutted.
recap, his name is scott. we met at a club, a few days later spent about 48 hours together, he proclaimed he could see himself spending the rest of his life with me, i actually had feelings for him...then abby and i went to Paris for a few days. in that time he "had time to forget about me." naturally i was a little upset but he decided to string me around for about a month. texts here, texts there, "i can't see you right now, i'm too messed up emotionally." i met another guy and finally stopped replying to his nonsense.
i have photos of him in my photo portfolio. i see his picture all the time. it never bothered me. i think about him everytime i walk by his work. it doesn't bother me. he's just another person that made a stamp on my life.
lat night, he could have just walked on by. instead, he touched me. he held my hand thru the whole 2 minute conversation. he said he had been watching me earlier.
he reduced me to a little, gutted pulp of a human being.
i shouldn't have but i did. i got home and i texted him, saying it was rather funny running into him. he replied saying it was good to see me and it made him wonder why he had ignored me.
all i needed was reaffirmation that the event actually happened.
now, looking back, it all seems so surreal. but now, it almost feels good to have been taken down a few pegs. a little reminder that i'm human.
so that's me. just had to get it off my chest and out there.
Gutted.
one of the greatest things about living over here was learning that word.
it is the exact description of how i felt last night.
i was leaving the club walking down the stairs when a hand grazed my stomach. i looked up into those jake gyllenhaal eyes and there it was, gutted.
recap, his name is scott. we met at a club, a few days later spent about 48 hours together, he proclaimed he could see himself spending the rest of his life with me, i actually had feelings for him...then abby and i went to Paris for a few days. in that time he "had time to forget about me." naturally i was a little upset but he decided to string me around for about a month. texts here, texts there, "i can't see you right now, i'm too messed up emotionally." i met another guy and finally stopped replying to his nonsense.
i have photos of him in my photo portfolio. i see his picture all the time. it never bothered me. i think about him everytime i walk by his work. it doesn't bother me. he's just another person that made a stamp on my life.
lat night, he could have just walked on by. instead, he touched me. he held my hand thru the whole 2 minute conversation. he said he had been watching me earlier.
he reduced me to a little, gutted pulp of a human being.
i shouldn't have but i did. i got home and i texted him, saying it was rather funny running into him. he replied saying it was good to see me and it made him wonder why he had ignored me.
all i needed was reaffirmation that the event actually happened.
now, looking back, it all seems so surreal. but now, it almost feels good to have been taken down a few pegs. a little reminder that i'm human.
so that's me. just had to get it off my chest and out there.