Dean4th Part One
Please please please! Read the warnings! This might be a trigger fic for some of you! You have been warned!
Title: Dean4 (Dean to the Fourth Power)
Author:
hippivickyx , Hippivickyx
Artist:
korosho, octopifer
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/ AU
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Jensen/Castiel. Implied: Vicky/Misha, Fem!Gabriel/Sam
Rating: R
Word Count: 13,480
Warnings: Fictitious representation of Split Personality Disorder. A scene can be viewed as slight dub/non-con. Light torture and gore. Sexual Situations Implied. m/m.
Summary: "Hello Dean. Thought you were someone else. My name is Castiel. I work with your brother," Castiel said, keeping his voice steady."Someone else, huh? Was it Jensen? ‘Cause you know we are the same person," Dean sounded annoyed.
Fic link: Fic MasterList
Art link: Art Masterlist
Super special thanks to
incognito323 for doing a FANTASTIC job beta'ing it this piece of poop! and of course to my close friends who got annoyed with me for asking them about it. Obadiah, Tania, Monica, and all the fantastic people who came at the last minute to beta this when my original beta'r had to drop!
Enjoy!
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"You seem happier, why?" Anna said, turning to face Castiel after taking a drink from her latte. Castiel smiled over the rim of his own mug.
"I can't be happy? I have to have a reason?" he asked. She stared at him long and hard, eyes narrowed. "Anna. Calm down. Yes - I'm happy because I'm dating again." He heard her squeal but was looking across the room.
"Who is the lucky guy?"she pressed.
"He's a mechanic. I met him through his brother, who works with me at the school. He's handsome, kind, and funny."
Anna laughed. “Is his brother available?"
Castiel just gave Anna a look and continued, "We are going out tonight on our fourth date." He took a sip from his still hot coffee.
"Fourth? Already? Have you kissed him?" Anna asked, but he continued sipping. "Is he a good kisser?" No response. "Castiel!" she whined when he refused to give details.
Castiel kissed his date on their second date, and had a make out session the third. He was hoping for more tonight. His face was red with embarrassment but the good kind of embarrassed - more pleased and excited than anything. He's only dated one other guy since he came out, and that ended disastrously.
"What's his name anyway?" Anna asked as they were leaving.
"Dean Winchester."
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Dean took Castiel to a little hole-in-the-wall diner, which turned out to be surprisingly good despite Castiel’s reservations. The two of them went back to Castiel’s apartment and ended up kissing lazily on the couch. Castiel ran his hands lightly over Dean’s neck, over his shoulders, down his chest - he was ready, and Dean was the sort of guy who waited. Castiel wasn’t sure how he got so lucky.
One of Castiel’s hands slipped up the back of Dean’s neck and pulled on Dean’s short blond, pulling him away just enough to look into Dean’s brilliant green eyes. Dean’s freckled face was tinged pink, swollen lips begging for more.
Castiel had a fleeting thought that Dean was too good for him - there had to be a catch. Maybe Dean was horrible in the sack.
Castiel pushed that thought out of his mind. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to Dean’s again, maneuvering the two of them until Dean was on his back beneath him. Dean made a delicious, breathy little moan as he fell back, pulling Castiel flush against him. Castiel relished the feeling of Dean’s heated skin against his own, and lost himself in the warmth of Dean’s mouth and sweat-slicked skin against skin.
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The small alarm clock on the nightstand went off twice before Castiel hit the snooze. When Castiel finally woke up he was naked, happy, and ready for round two. He rolled over to find an empty bed, no note, and no sign of Dean anywhere. Castiel tried to remember if Dean had mentioned having work the next day, but his brain was mostly still asleep. Castiel got up for the day and got ready for work.
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Sam Winchester was in the teacher’s lounge when Castiel arrived.
"Good morning Mr. Winchester," he said cheerfully. Sam turned to look at Castiel with wide eyes and a frown, his cell phone pressed to his ear. When Sam actually saw Castiel, the blood drained from his face and he retreated into his classroom. Castiel heard him say, "Yes, I'm still here."
That was odd. Sam was one of the few teachers who actually spoke to Castiel. Castiel knows Sam doesn’t approve of Castiel dating his brother, but it just happened. Castiel decided to confront Sam at lunch to make sure everything was fine.
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Castiel headed to the teacher’s lounge at lunch. The whole department was eating at their usual tables. Sam was alone eating a salad, hunched over papers he was grading. He didn't notice Castiel sit down until Castiel opened his coke, making Sam jump.
"Why so jumpy Sam? Everything ok?" Castiel asked, looking over at his pale friend.
"Yes, yes, yes. Everything is fine. It's just, I shouldn't, I- uh," Sam rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.
"Sam, what is it?" Castiel asked, brow furrowing with concern.
"Ok, I know you're dating my brother, but please, just for today, don't contact him," Sam sounded sincere, not angry.
"Okay? Why not?"
"Dammit Cas! Please - don't ask that," Sam’s voice rose suddenly, making the lounge go quiet for a moment. Sam seemed stressed out. Maybe it was a family thing, and Dean was in this exact mood. Castiel agreed and they ate their lunch in silence.
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Castiel wanted to call Dean after work and ask him to come over, but with Sam's request fresh in his mind, Castiel went to Chuck’s used book store instead. The book store was brightly lit by the long side window. Dust partials danced in the sunlight hitting the book cases. Each book had its own character to it. Taped spine. Stained pages. Ripped pages. A large stack sat next to a garage sale chair. A used coffee cup sat on the top of the stacked books as an older gentlemen read through his spectacles. The book store cat, Becky, leaped and rolled out of reach of children on top of the book cases. Each case was labeled with a white wooden plack and neat writing of what the case held.
He was looking for an original copy of Braudigan's Hawkline Monster when he heard Dean’s laugh. Castiel peeked into the next aisle and, lo and behold, there was Dean. He was sitting against the book shelf reading, something that looked like Shakespeare, judging by the format. He was wearing a plaid shirt, which was strange; Dean never wore anything like that.
Castiel smiled and walked around to stand next to Dean. Dean finally noticed Castiel and looked up at him with an odd look on his face. Castiel was expecting surprise, then happiness, but Dean gave him more of quizzical look.
"Dean?"
"Yeah, what do you want?" he asked from the floor. Dean looked irritated, which ticked Castiel off.
"Did I do something wrong?" Castiel’s voice rose, prompting Dean to stand.
"I don't know, did you?" Dean walked away and Castiel heard the bell over the door ring.
Castiel stood stunned, confused, and angry. He thought they ended their night on a good note; the sex was amazing and Dean was so attentive, sweet, even.
Castiel stormed out of the bookshop and back to his apartment.
--
Castiel sat on his couch playing with his phone, trying to decide if he should call Dean. He wanted to know what happened. He hates guessing games. Castiel’s mind was spinning - maybe Dean doesn't like to bottom, but he wasn't complaining last night, if the moans were any indication.
He hung up the phone again and laid his head back to rest on the couch. He knew Dean was too good to be true. The phone surprised him by ringing.
"Hello?" he answered, voice groggy. He wasn't in the mood.
"Castiel? It's Sam. Uh, can you meet Dean and I at the Roadhouse diner?" Sam asked, but he sounded annoyed. Castiel shot up, ignoring his own anger, the desire of answers outweighing his other emotions. He told Sam his ETA and bolted out the door.
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At the diner, Dean was inside the booth looking out the window, fiddling with a sugar packet. Sam's head was resting in his arms on the table. They both looked miserable. As Castiel approached, Dean’s eyes brightened considerably for a moment then melted back to worry. He nudged his brother who shot up and looked at Castiel. Castiel slid into the booth across from the brothers and rested his hands on the table.
"You wanted to see me?"
The words came out a little bitter then Castiel meant, making Dean flinched and look away. A pregnant silence grew, before Sam rolled his eyes at his brother then turned to Castiel.
"Dean has made a mistake," Sam began, and Castiel's heart dropped to his feet. It must have shown in his face because Sam lifted his hands defensively, showing his palms. "Not like that! No, he just left out a very important tidbit of information while dating you."
"What do you mean? What information?"
The brothers looked at each other, frowning, and Dean looked away, hunching his shoulders and settling his arms in his lap, trying to make himself look small.
"My brother, Dean, he, uh, has," Sam paused and looked over at his brother. "Dean has split personality disorder."
Silence.
"A what?"
"Split personality..." Dean began.
"I heard him it’s just, why didn't you tell me before...last night?"
"I usually do, but I was so afraid you'd run away, and I thought I had it under control. I guess I switched over this morning."
"You don't remember?" Castiel asked, now concerned.
"The last thing I remember was falling asleep with you, and then I woke up in front of Sam just twenty minutes ago."
"It's because I fought tooth and nail for you to take your damn pill. What were you thinking, not taking it?"
"I didn't think it would happen, I thought I'd be fine if I skipped one dose, I just wanted to be with Cas." Dean whined.
"So when I saw you at Chuck’s, that wasn't you?" Castiel asked, staring at Dean. The brothers turned to him with wide eyes and gaping mouths. The look Dean made Castiel want to kiss him so badly for his mistake.
"You met the other Dean? He didn't hurt you did he?" Dean leaned over the table, eyeing Castiel for any sign of pain.
"No, he didn't hurt me. He was just a dick."
"It's because he is a dick!" Sam added receiving a glare from Dean.
"So wait, why would your split personality be a dick?" Castiel asked.
"That's the other thing," Sam started, but Dean hit Sam on the shoulder.
"We don't know why." Dean gave a shaky laugh and Sam looked annoyed.
"Why dig that hole deeper? I thought you liked this guy?" Sam asked and slapped his brother back. "The Dean you met this afternoon is the Dean I grew up with. He’s considered the split personality. But the other Dean..." Sam looked like he was gathering his thoughts when Dean wrapped a hand around Sam's arm with a pleading face. Then Dean turned to Castiel.
"In good time. I'm just hoping the little charades this afternoon didn't hurt our future."
"What do you mean?"
"The other Dean is quite emotional. And if he sees you again and remembers you, I don't know what he would do," Dean's green eyes were shiny with tears. Castiel always thought this Dean was quite emotional, the other one just seemed ready for a fight. "Maybe this is a bad idea." Dean fought back tears which made Sam roll his eyes again.
"Castiel, are you willing to date my brother, and try to make amends with the other?" Sam said, surprising both Castiel and Dean.
"What do you mean, 'amends'?"
"Get the other Dean to befriend you, or more is fine. But the other Dean is quite difficult."
Castiel sat there and started to think, and think, and think.
"If I, say, get the other Dean to like me, wouldn't that be dating two people? What if something goes wrong? How do I know which Dean is which?" These were logical questions. And these questions also answered the brother’s question. He was insane for doing this, but he is going to try. Dean was good to him, and Castiel could try to make it work.
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They all agreed to get Castiel to meet the real Dean in a controlled environment. Sam agreed to have it at the brothers’ home because Dean was calm there. Sam told Castiel that Dean would never lay a hand on anyone, but that he was very good at getting into people's heads. The weekend finally came and Castiel walked up to the small dark green door of the brothers’ townhouse and let out a tense sigh before lifting his hand to knock. Sam opened the door with a soft smile.
"Ready? He's in a good mood right now," Sam said, turning on his heel and leading him down a hall.
"This is Dean, Dean? Not my Dean?"
"Yes, don't mention the split personality unless he does, ok?" Sam opened a door to a modest kitchen. Dean was sitting at the table in the middle of the room eating what looked like pie. He looked up and spotted Castiel, giving both Castiel and Sam a long hard look.
"It's you!" Dean said around a mouth full of pie. "From Chuck’s!"
Sam sat down and gestured for Castiel have a seat across from Dean.
"Hello Dean. Sorry about that, thought you were someone else. My name is Castiel. I work with your brother," Castiel said, keeping his voice steady.
"Someone else, huh? Was it Jensen? ‘Cause you know we are the same person," Dean sounded annoyed, his green eyes on Castiel.
"Who's Jensen?" Castiel asked, but a little noise from Sam revealed that was the wrong question. Dean’s eyes went dark.
"Is he calling himself Dean? We had an agreement! Sam?"
"It was months, months without you. People questioned it, so we felt it was best to just call him Dean." Sam turned his seat towards Dean, almost in a defensive stance.
"Thought it was best? What? Did he take my job too? Bet those criminals make him cry just by looking at him," Dean snorted at his own joke. "Fucking pussy," he mumbled crossing his arms and slouching in his seat.
"Dean. I just wanted to get to know you. Not, Jensen. You. I am very close friends with Jensen, and I would like to be your friend too if you'd let me," Castiel began to tap his fingers on the table and eyed Dean. Dean still had the small smile on his face, he wasn't taking this seriously, and Castiel knew how to deal with children. "I don't know how many sticks are up your ass, but, have friends, give your brother the reassurance of a happy brother."
Castiel realized he took it a bit too far. The room filled with tension and he looked at Dean's face for any change in emotion. An unexpected emotion bloomed on Dean: he began to laugh.
"You're a high school teacher? I'd hate for you to get on my bad side," he laughed and turned to Sam. "I like this guy. He's got spunk."
Dean stood up and took his plate to the sink. Sam let out a loud sigh eyeing Castiel, who felt all the blood from his face empty ,incredulous.
"How long do we have Sammy?" Dean asked as he washed his hands. Sam relaxed into his seat, and looked at his wristwatch.
"About two hours."
"Alright Castiel, let's become friends."
Dean walked out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hall.
"Why two hours?" Castiel whispered to Sam as he stood up.
"Dean has to take his pill eventually. Trust me, you want him to take it, he becomes irritable," Sam’s tone wasn’t irritated, but something else Castiel couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sam stood with him and led him down the hall to a living room where Dean was sitting on the couch drinking a bottle of coke, which seemed strange since he held the bottle like it was a beer. Castiel remembered Dean...Jensen telling him he doesn't drink alcohol because he took pills that affect it. At the time, Castiel thought it was just anti-depressants or even allergy medicine, not medicine to hold back split personalities. Dean looked over calmly when his brother and Castiel entered the room; this was his atmosphere and he looked comfortable. Sam patted Castiel’s shoulder and left him alone with Dean. Castiel rounded the couch and sat on next to Dean.
"So uh, Castiel right?" Dean took another long drink. “I know you like books and you work with my brother.”
"Yes, and you're Dean Winchester. Not Jensen. You, I assume, like pie and seem to be quite emotional."
"I am not the emotional one! You don't see me crying at any sign of challenge or bump in the road," Dean protested forcefully.
"No, but you just blew up as I pointed out your characteristics."
"You're a smart ass," Dean mumbled, finishing his drink. He looked at the bottle with dissatisfaction, most likely wishing it was something stronger.
"Let us change the subject then; what do you do for a living?" Castiel shifted in his seat, uncomfortable by Dean's tense posture.
"I was a cop. I do what Jensen does now. A mechanic, right? Dad was a mechanic, just typical my other self is one," Dean sank lower into his sat. "What do you teach?"
"World history to high school juniors. And freshmen English."
"History huh? Same as Sam. Ya’ know he was going to be a big shot lawyer, but then I, I kinda screwed that up," Dean kept his eyes on his hands in his lap. A short pause gave Castiel time to think.
"You blame yourself for a lot don't you?" Castiel asked. He sensed Dean was a strong individual, protective, and caring - unlike Jensen's very soft personality, which usually involved Castiel deciding everything. The diner they went to the other night was the first time Jensen took initiative.
"Don't psychoanalyze me!" Dean raised his voice and turned to Castiel, but quickly looked away again. "You don't know anything."
"That's why I am here isn't it? To find out? Ok, let's talk about our childhood then, that ok with you?"
The silence became uncomfortable, maybe it was a bad idea to start with such personal questions, but Castiel wanted to know more about Dean. Castiel watched as Dean gave him a simple,woeful nod. He thought he could learn Dean best if he knew where it all began. And weather talk was dull.
"Ok,” Castiel said finally. “I was born in a religious family who went to church every Sunday. I have two older brothers. My parents both died when I was eighteen. I was reserved in school but was valedictorian of my senior class. I went to a community college because my parents left me nothing. I became a teacher two years later and never looked back since then."
Castiel could hear his annoyance build in is voice as he told Dean, but he never dig up his past for anyone. He let out a shaky sigh and gestured toward Dean. "Your turn."
Dean was staring at him, absorbing everything. He shook his head then opened his mouth and closed it twice before starting.
"I was born in a simple family until my mother was murdered when I was five. My father moved here after to escape the pain. I had to take care of Sam because my father would be either working at the auto shop or drinking until he went unconscious,” Dean paused and looked awkwardly at Castiel then back to his lap where his hands rested. “I had my split personality start up in high school. Jensen would randomly come out during school. Sam communicated between us, so Jensen knew what to do in that situation. It was embarrassing and annoying, but we didn't have health care, and our father was no help.” He gave another shaky laugh. “At eighteen, I adopted Sam and we move away from our father. I got help and took pills to keep Jensen away. Sam and I were fine on our own. I went to the academy immediately after high school and climbed the ladder from a cop to a detective. My father died from a heart attack and we had to deal with that. We continued living, pushing through, and life happened. We make choices, and-“ he paused his face changing. “Jensen took over and that's it.”
Dean‘s story finished and he avoided making eye contact. Dean was hiding something, but Castiel knew to respect some secrets.
"I've never told anyone this except those clowns at the clinics who insist I do." Dean said, giving Castiel a sincere smile. Sam walked into the room with a glass of water and a pink pill. Dean’s face squinted up in displeasure. He took the pill quickly and chugged the water. "Sam? How about doing this again next Saturday?"
"Sure thing Dean," Sam said before exiting the room, no expression on his face. Dean turned back to Castiel and gave him another smile as he set down the empty glass.
"Uh, how long does it take for the pill to kick in?" Castiel asked.
"Not too long, it could be right away, could be twenty minutes," Dean rubbed his face, something Castiel would do when he is tired.
"How would I know when it happens?" he asked looking at the doorway, wondering what time it was. When he turned back to Dean, Dean was staring at him.
"When what happens?" Dean asked, but his voice sounded different.
"Jensen?"
"Castiel?" Jensen looked around the room. "Oh, wait they told you? Well ok, uh - ah."
Jensen’s face was red and he was stumbling over his words. Castiel recognized this from one of their dates when Jensen had secretly paid for the food. When it was revealed, Jensen gotten nervous like this. Castiel thought it was adorable, and missed it when he was talking to firecracker Dean. Castiel leaned over and pressed their lips together in a light kiss. Jensen relaxed under it and wrapped his arms around Castiel. They pulled apart just enough to see each other. Castiel still had so many questions, but one thing hit him first.
"I missed you," he gave Jensen another peck and pushed back. "Uh, may I ask you a question?"
Jensen gave him a reassuring smile and nodded
"Does, uh, Dean know what happens when you're uh..." he gestured to his body.
"No. Well, it has happened a few times but just like it happens to me, I shake it off as a dream."
"Does Dean know about us? As far as I could tell he thinks we are friends, but he could be hiding it."
"He doesn't know. Sam and I don't want him to know just yet. He got mad last time and refused to take the pill for days. It kinda hurt us both in that process so I don't think he'll do it again, but still don't want to take that chance."
"What happens when he doesn't take it, I mean he told me he lived years without a pill and you took over, why now?" Castiel knew he hit a nerve when he asked that question. He didn't know what was safe ground, even with Jensen.
"I guess he wanted to rest. When I take over, his world goes black and he is just there. Doctors say some personalities can bleed through while taking over, so they either have some control or do that whole talking to yourself thing. The talking to yourself thing started happening to Dean and I awhile back and he found it nerve racking. Other things happened too, and all of us thought it was best to ask for help."
"All of us, you mean you, Dean, and Sam right? There aren’t other personalities that will surprise me, right?" Jensen opened and then closed his mouth, scratching his face. He let out a sigh and Castiel was ready for the worst.
"No. Not anymore. It's just Dean and I."
Sam walked in smiling about something but frowned at Jensen, turning to Castiel he shook his head.
"I, uh, have to go out for a while," Sam gave Jensen another odd look, turned and left.
"What was that?" Castiel's mind has been observing again, he used to be very talented at picking up small things and now that talent is back and with full force.
He was noticing the different ticks between Dean and Jensen. Their voices: Jensen's was relatively higher and more pleasant, Deans was tougher and louder. Jensen always sat properly in any setting, whereas Dean slouched but looked relaxed. And he realized Sam loves Dean with all his heart, but Jensen was another story.
"Oh, he can tell the difference between us. Guess he wanted to give us space. Hey, did you know when Dean let me take over he gave me my own room yet he has one too? Awesome huh!! Imagine one person having two full bedrooms," he laughed, Castiel joining him with a small laugh of his own.
"May I see them?" Castiel's curiosity was swarming in a hot buzz in his mind. It was like dating a twin, but with one body. Jensen stood up and led him upstairs. He entered a messy room that had clothes thrown everywhere. There was a mattress on the ground with its blue sheets unmade, and the nightstand was clustered with papers, books, and orange pill bottles. Blue sheets covered the windows, so the only light came from the wall light Jensen used.
"Guess whose room this is?" Jensen chirped.
"Uh, Dean’s?" he couldn't imagine the man he was dating to be so messy.
"Correct! He hasn't had time in here for a while..." Jensen stopped mid-sentence and dragged Castiel to the next door. This room was brighter than the last. A larger bed sat in the middle of the room with tan sheets and a large fluffy tan comforter. A desk sat across from the large window, it had a few orange bottles and papers, but not as messy as Dean’s.
"This is yours?" Castiel knew it was but kept Jensen happy by guessing.
"Yep, quite proud of it. Got a job and paid for everything myself," Jensen looked at his watch. "The night is young, did you want to go out?" Jensen pulled Castiel in, but he was staring at the orange pill bottles.
"I think, I need to go home. It's been a very interesting afternoon," Castiel said. His mind was buzzing. Jensen immediately released Castiel and gave him another small smile.
"I understand. Let me show you out."
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Castiel was working on his history class’s essay during their lunch break. He didn't notice Sam until he cleared his throat.
"Hello Sam," Castiel said and circled the wrong date on someone's paper in blue pen.
"How was your weekend?" Sam's voice was sharp and full of nervousness - concerned for his brother, most likely.
"Besides meeting Dean? Uneventful. I just finished making up my final exam," Castiel said quickly. He turned the page and sighed angrily at more wrong facts.
"Well, good news, by the way. Dean wants to hang out again. And you should probably call Jensen. He's been moping around the apartment all weekend since you left," Sam sounded sincere but Castiel only had one thing on his mind.
"Yes yes. Hey, do you think we can continue this after school? Meet me at my classroom?" he scooped his papers up and proceeded to stand, when he saw Sam's face. A purple bruise blossomed over his left cheek. "Sam, what happened?" he was genuinely shocked.
"Nothing! Just a little accident that's all," Sam said it like he's said a million times before.
"Sam!" Castiel said louder, turning heads. Sam pulled Castiel by his forearm out of the teachers’ lounge into his classroom across the hall. Behind closed doors, Sam let out a heavy sigh.
"Calm down, Castiel. Ok? This happens occasionally. I can handle it."
"What happens occasionally?" Castiel heart dropped to his feet.
"Back in the day, when Dean got stressed out he developed other personalities. Now, I'm telling you this as a warning. Dean has a total of three personalities: Jensen, Misha, and another. Jensen is what doctors have recognized as the main one. Misha only comes out if either Jensen or Dean are sad, and the other comes out when he is mad. Jensen came out randomly, but Misha and the other are emotionally triggered."
Castiel listened closely as Sam explained.
"So what? Did Dean or Jensen get mad and the other personality socked you?" Castiel was a little concerned too.
"No! The angry one is locked down. That's what the meds are for. Misha came out." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous tick, Castiel was picking up on.
"And what type of person...personality is Misha?"
"Misha is a sly ass hole who just wants to have fun. Think of him as a cross between a humanitarian and a really bad comedian with a sexual boost."
"So a hippie horny teenager?" Castiel only knew that because most of his students were hippie horny teenagers.
"Exactly. He socked me when I refused to let him out of the house, I kinda hit back and locked him in Dean’s room."
Castiel could tell Sam felt bad but was annoyed by Misha.
"So don't make them sad, got it!" Castiel said, imagining Dean as a horny teenager. It made him laugh, thinking of Dean as one of his students.
"Call Jensen. He's going nuts thinking he did something wrong," Sam said which made Castiel laugh.
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Castiel decided to call Jensen after he got home. He sat on his couch staring at the kitchen, fixating on an orange on the table, as the phone rang.
"Hello?" a husky voice on the other end, sounding like someone who had just woken up at four in the afternoon.
"Jensen?" Castiel actually kind of missed Jensen now that he thought about it.
"No, Dean. This Castiel?"
Castiel’s heart sank. This was oh-so strange.
"Uh yeah. I was hoping to talk to Jensen," he bit his tongue. He was supposed to be making friends with both of them, it shouldn't matter who answered the phone.
"Sorry but my next pill take isn't for another hour. I just woke up with a black eye so if you don't mind, I'm going to find my brother and knock his teeth out."
Dean hung up. Castiel hoped that Sam would be alright. He decided to call in an hour, thinking that Jensen was just not home instead of not in control of the shared body.
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Castiel got a hold of Jensen and they went out for coffee. Castiel actually missed Jensen; his easy smile, listening to Castiel all the way before speaking, his small jokes between conversations. And boy did he miss kissing him. They decided to go back to Castiel’s place, and didn’t even make it up to the apartment. Castiel found himself forcing himself away from Jensen so they could take it out of the car and inside.
As they reached the bedroom and Jensen tore Castiel’s shirt off, Castiel held Jensen away for a moment and asked; "Pill?"
Jensen just smiled and nodded before pushing Castiel onto the bed.
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This time when Castiel woke up, there was another body in his bed. He smiled as he watched Jensen sleep, his mouth gaping and small snores issuing from his throat. He eyed the bruise around Jensen's eye, wishing Sam didn't hit him so hard. Castiel finally got out of bed and decided to let Jensen sleep while he took a hot shower. He couldn't help but smile the whole time. When he exited the bathroom, Jensen was still asleep. He got dressed and went to make them breakfast. Castiel was pouring himself a cup of coffee when a loud voice yelled: "Son of a bitch!" Castiel set his cup down and whined.
"Shit!" he breathed out, realization coming over him, and rushed to the bedroom. Jensen was gone. It was Dean, wide green eyes, gathering sheets to cover himself.
"Castiel! What am I doing here? Where are my pants?!" Dean asked, frantically looking around the room. Castiel didn't know what to do - tell the truth or lie. He needed to call Sam, now.
"Just stay here."
Castiel dashed out of the room, closing it behind him as he heard Dean call his name frantically. Castiel dug his phone out of his pocket and quickly called Sam. Sam picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Dean woke up, and it's supposed to be Jensen. He was Jensen. Now he's Dean, naked Dean. What do I do?" he rushed, trying to say everything at once.
"First, calm down. This has happened before. Just listen to me and everything will be fine," Sam sounded stern and calm, like he knew what he was doing.
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When Castiel reentered the bedroom cautiously, he found a very irritated Dean. Still naked, still under the sheets.
"Castiel. Is there something you'd like to tell me? What happened last night with you and Jensen?" Dean’s arms were crossed and his face was red with anger. Sam said Dean would assume they had sex, which was the truth.
"Misha is what happened. Jensen and I were watching TV then he climbed into my lap, I tried to push him off when he told me who he was. Misha got naked right away and started chasing me around the apartment. I got him in the bedroom and locked him in,”Castiel told the story as emotionless as possible. Dean’s face went from red faced angry to even redder faced - embarrassed. Dean looked down, closing his eyes, almost like he was trying to remember something.
"God, I am sorry Cas. I didn't know it was that bad. This is embarrassing, I’ll just find my pants and I'll leave."
Castiel felt a twinge of guilt.
"No Dean. It's not your fault. If anything it's Jensen's. Just stop blaming yourself. Here, I'll get your pants and we can eat breakfast and go out. Okay?"
Castiel went to the living room to retrieve their clothes from where they had fallen in the heat of the moment last night. Dean still looked surprised as Castiel handed him his clothes. Dean exited the room rubbing the back of his neck, his face still a tiny bit red.
"I, uh, donno what Misha did but I suggest washing your sheets," Dean said awkwardly. In the kitchen, Dean’s face perked up at the sight of breakfast. Castiel watched as Dean ate. Dean ate more aggressively then Jensen did. It surprised Castiel yet again at how different the two personalities were.
After breakfast, Dean suggested they go to Chuck’s bookstore. It was his favorite place to relax and think. It was Castiel's favorite place to find new treasures. Castiel drove them there, Dean tense and quiet in the passenger seat. Castiel cleared his throat, which made Dean turn to him.
"So, uh, anything special planned this weekend?" Castiel asked keeping his eyes on the road.
"Well if I can keep it together, Sammy and I are going to a baseball game Saturday. But if I keep having switches, especially with Misha, then I might have to stay in and double up my dosage."
"What happens if you double it?" Castiel felt concerned for not just Jensen but Dean also.
"Oh well uh, Jensen would be the main personality for a good week or two. Sam can't stand Jensen so he asked me to not take my pill on Friday so I can hang with him Saturday," Dean laughed quietly. "Sam hates all my personalities, which is funny ‘cause he originally hated me before all this went down. Now he can't get enough of me. Can't blame him, I'm awesome!" They laughed as Castiel parked on the side of Chuck’s bookstore.
As they walked in, Castiel spotted the twitchy wannabe writer, and owner of the bookstore, Chuck. He was behind his desk covered in old books. Chuck’s face lit up at the sight of Dean.
"Dean! Welcome back! Any new exciting stories?” he stood up and circled the desk, then leaned against it. “Who's this?"
"Nah, nothing that interesting. And this is Cas. He's uh, a friend. Any new Ben Jonson books?"
"No. Same copy of 'The Devil is an Ass.' Are you actually going to buy it instead of coming here and reading it by acts?"
Dean stepped down the closest isle.
"Probably not. What? This isn't a library?" Dean laughed and Chuck sighed. Castiel followed behind Dean closely. Dean went to the same place Castiel found him when they first met. He read the white plaque above the shelf, 'Shakespeare and more.' Dean didn't even look at the shelf before dragging out an orange book. The title did indeed say 'The Devil is an Ass' by Ben Jonson.
"Shakespeare was funny, but Jonson was hilarious!" he handed Castiel the book and moved back to the shelf, eyeing the books. Castiel observed the worn down orange book. The old book smell of vanilla filled his nose when he opened it. It was dog eared and written in with pencil. A very loved book. Castiel looked up to find Dean staring at him with shiny green eyes filled with excitement and anticipation. Dean had a blue used book in his hand now open to a random page. "“Heare mee, O God!/ A broken heart,/ Is my best part:/ Use still thy rod,/ That I may prove/ Therein, thy Love./ If thou hadst not/ Beene stern to mee,/ But left me free,/ I had forgot/ My selfe and thee./ For sin’s so sweet,/ As minds ill bent/ Rarely repent,/ Untill they meet/ Their punishment-” as Dean spoke the ancient language Castiel felt his face warm up. He was blushing like an old school boy. Dean spoke beautifully, not missing a beat. As a teacher, Castiel was jealous. As a man, he was stunned. He wanted to hear more, wishing Dean would continue out loud. But Dean was reading quietly in his head, concentrating on the book now.
Castiel walked away to the row of history books, trying to calm himself down. His heart was beating so quickly he was afraid it would burst from his cheat. His smile spread over his whole face. He's never felt this way before, not with Jensen, not with anyone. What was this? He decided to see if it would happen again. He walked back to the section where he left Dean to find it empty. He looked over in a few isles nearby but no sign of Dean. He was only gone for a moment, how far can one man get in this little bookstore? Castiel headed to the front, where he heard voices.
"How ‘bout this Dean: open to a women tied to a chair, gag in her mouth, cuts on her face from being hit by a hand covered in rings. Her eyes wide in fear-"
"Mofia? Really? That's the best you've got? Come on chuck! I taught you better." Chuck and Dean laughed as Castiel joined them.
"Cas, would you ever in a million years read one of Chuck’s crappy books?" Dean tried to say through his laughter.
"Hey they aren't that bad!" Chuck protested.
"I guess I can't judge until I read them," Castiel says before Chuck pushes a purple book across the counter towards him. Castiel looked at the book, back to Dean then Chuck who was smiling.
"Leave him alone Chuck." Dean says rolling his eyes. Chuck tried to defend himself as Castiel paid for some books, including the purple one.
----
Castiel and Dean ended up splitting after that, Castiel went home and Dean went to the police station. Castiel’s mind questioned it, but he ignored the fleeting though. He wanted to understand Dean’s life, how he came to be, but he didn’t want to intrude on Dean with such prying questions.
Once home, Castiel set down his books and decided to correct his student’s papers. As it got late, he started to finish up, realizing he only corrected a few papers because he couldn’t get Dean’s reading voice out of his head. He wanted to hear more, maybe he could. He smiled before calling it a night.
Continue to Part Two
Title: Dean4 (Dean to the Fourth Power)
Author:
hippivickyx , Hippivickyx
Artist:
korosho, octopifer
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/ AU
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Jensen/Castiel. Implied: Vicky/Misha, Fem!Gabriel/Sam
Rating: R
Word Count: 13,480
Warnings: Fictitious representation of Split Personality Disorder. A scene can be viewed as slight dub/non-con. Light torture and gore. Sexual Situations Implied. m/m.
Summary: "Hello Dean. Thought you were someone else. My name is Castiel. I work with your brother," Castiel said, keeping his voice steady."Someone else, huh? Was it Jensen? ‘Cause you know we are the same person," Dean sounded annoyed.
Fic link: Fic MasterList
Art link: Art Masterlist
Super special thanks to
incognito323 for doing a FANTASTIC job beta'ing it this piece of poop! and of course to my close friends who got annoyed with me for asking them about it. Obadiah, Tania, Monica, and all the fantastic people who came at the last minute to beta this when my original beta'r had to drop!
Enjoy!
---------
"You seem happier, why?" Anna said, turning to face Castiel after taking a drink from her latte. Castiel smiled over the rim of his own mug.
"I can't be happy? I have to have a reason?" he asked. She stared at him long and hard, eyes narrowed. "Anna. Calm down. Yes - I'm happy because I'm dating again." He heard her squeal but was looking across the room.
"Who is the lucky guy?"she pressed.
"He's a mechanic. I met him through his brother, who works with me at the school. He's handsome, kind, and funny."
Anna laughed. “Is his brother available?"
Castiel just gave Anna a look and continued, "We are going out tonight on our fourth date." He took a sip from his still hot coffee.
"Fourth? Already? Have you kissed him?" Anna asked, but he continued sipping. "Is he a good kisser?" No response. "Castiel!" she whined when he refused to give details.
Castiel kissed his date on their second date, and had a make out session the third. He was hoping for more tonight. His face was red with embarrassment but the good kind of embarrassed - more pleased and excited than anything. He's only dated one other guy since he came out, and that ended disastrously.
"What's his name anyway?" Anna asked as they were leaving.
"Dean Winchester."
----------------------
Dean took Castiel to a little hole-in-the-wall diner, which turned out to be surprisingly good despite Castiel’s reservations. The two of them went back to Castiel’s apartment and ended up kissing lazily on the couch. Castiel ran his hands lightly over Dean’s neck, over his shoulders, down his chest - he was ready, and Dean was the sort of guy who waited. Castiel wasn’t sure how he got so lucky.
One of Castiel’s hands slipped up the back of Dean’s neck and pulled on Dean’s short blond, pulling him away just enough to look into Dean’s brilliant green eyes. Dean’s freckled face was tinged pink, swollen lips begging for more.
Castiel had a fleeting thought that Dean was too good for him - there had to be a catch. Maybe Dean was horrible in the sack.
Castiel pushed that thought out of his mind. He leaned in and pressed his mouth to Dean’s again, maneuvering the two of them until Dean was on his back beneath him. Dean made a delicious, breathy little moan as he fell back, pulling Castiel flush against him. Castiel relished the feeling of Dean’s heated skin against his own, and lost himself in the warmth of Dean’s mouth and sweat-slicked skin against skin.
-------------------------
The small alarm clock on the nightstand went off twice before Castiel hit the snooze. When Castiel finally woke up he was naked, happy, and ready for round two. He rolled over to find an empty bed, no note, and no sign of Dean anywhere. Castiel tried to remember if Dean had mentioned having work the next day, but his brain was mostly still asleep. Castiel got up for the day and got ready for work.
-------------
Sam Winchester was in the teacher’s lounge when Castiel arrived.
"Good morning Mr. Winchester," he said cheerfully. Sam turned to look at Castiel with wide eyes and a frown, his cell phone pressed to his ear. When Sam actually saw Castiel, the blood drained from his face and he retreated into his classroom. Castiel heard him say, "Yes, I'm still here."
That was odd. Sam was one of the few teachers who actually spoke to Castiel. Castiel knows Sam doesn’t approve of Castiel dating his brother, but it just happened. Castiel decided to confront Sam at lunch to make sure everything was fine.
-------
Castiel headed to the teacher’s lounge at lunch. The whole department was eating at their usual tables. Sam was alone eating a salad, hunched over papers he was grading. He didn't notice Castiel sit down until Castiel opened his coke, making Sam jump.
"Why so jumpy Sam? Everything ok?" Castiel asked, looking over at his pale friend.
"Yes, yes, yes. Everything is fine. It's just, I shouldn't, I- uh," Sam rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.
"Sam, what is it?" Castiel asked, brow furrowing with concern.
"Ok, I know you're dating my brother, but please, just for today, don't contact him," Sam sounded sincere, not angry.
"Okay? Why not?"
"Dammit Cas! Please - don't ask that," Sam’s voice rose suddenly, making the lounge go quiet for a moment. Sam seemed stressed out. Maybe it was a family thing, and Dean was in this exact mood. Castiel agreed and they ate their lunch in silence.
----------
Castiel wanted to call Dean after work and ask him to come over, but with Sam's request fresh in his mind, Castiel went to Chuck’s used book store instead. The book store was brightly lit by the long side window. Dust partials danced in the sunlight hitting the book cases. Each book had its own character to it. Taped spine. Stained pages. Ripped pages. A large stack sat next to a garage sale chair. A used coffee cup sat on the top of the stacked books as an older gentlemen read through his spectacles. The book store cat, Becky, leaped and rolled out of reach of children on top of the book cases. Each case was labeled with a white wooden plack and neat writing of what the case held.
He was looking for an original copy of Braudigan's Hawkline Monster when he heard Dean’s laugh. Castiel peeked into the next aisle and, lo and behold, there was Dean. He was sitting against the book shelf reading, something that looked like Shakespeare, judging by the format. He was wearing a plaid shirt, which was strange; Dean never wore anything like that.
Castiel smiled and walked around to stand next to Dean. Dean finally noticed Castiel and looked up at him with an odd look on his face. Castiel was expecting surprise, then happiness, but Dean gave him more of quizzical look.
"Dean?"
"Yeah, what do you want?" he asked from the floor. Dean looked irritated, which ticked Castiel off.
"Did I do something wrong?" Castiel’s voice rose, prompting Dean to stand.
"I don't know, did you?" Dean walked away and Castiel heard the bell over the door ring.
Castiel stood stunned, confused, and angry. He thought they ended their night on a good note; the sex was amazing and Dean was so attentive, sweet, even.
Castiel stormed out of the bookshop and back to his apartment.
--
Castiel sat on his couch playing with his phone, trying to decide if he should call Dean. He wanted to know what happened. He hates guessing games. Castiel’s mind was spinning - maybe Dean doesn't like to bottom, but he wasn't complaining last night, if the moans were any indication.
He hung up the phone again and laid his head back to rest on the couch. He knew Dean was too good to be true. The phone surprised him by ringing.
"Hello?" he answered, voice groggy. He wasn't in the mood.
"Castiel? It's Sam. Uh, can you meet Dean and I at the Roadhouse diner?" Sam asked, but he sounded annoyed. Castiel shot up, ignoring his own anger, the desire of answers outweighing his other emotions. He told Sam his ETA and bolted out the door.
-------
At the diner, Dean was inside the booth looking out the window, fiddling with a sugar packet. Sam's head was resting in his arms on the table. They both looked miserable. As Castiel approached, Dean’s eyes brightened considerably for a moment then melted back to worry. He nudged his brother who shot up and looked at Castiel. Castiel slid into the booth across from the brothers and rested his hands on the table.
"You wanted to see me?"
The words came out a little bitter then Castiel meant, making Dean flinched and look away. A pregnant silence grew, before Sam rolled his eyes at his brother then turned to Castiel.
"Dean has made a mistake," Sam began, and Castiel's heart dropped to his feet. It must have shown in his face because Sam lifted his hands defensively, showing his palms. "Not like that! No, he just left out a very important tidbit of information while dating you."
"What do you mean? What information?"
The brothers looked at each other, frowning, and Dean looked away, hunching his shoulders and settling his arms in his lap, trying to make himself look small.
"My brother, Dean, he, uh, has," Sam paused and looked over at his brother. "Dean has split personality disorder."
Silence.
"A what?"
"Split personality..." Dean began.
"I heard him it’s just, why didn't you tell me before...last night?"
"I usually do, but I was so afraid you'd run away, and I thought I had it under control. I guess I switched over this morning."
"You don't remember?" Castiel asked, now concerned.
"The last thing I remember was falling asleep with you, and then I woke up in front of Sam just twenty minutes ago."
"It's because I fought tooth and nail for you to take your damn pill. What were you thinking, not taking it?"
"I didn't think it would happen, I thought I'd be fine if I skipped one dose, I just wanted to be with Cas." Dean whined.
"So when I saw you at Chuck’s, that wasn't you?" Castiel asked, staring at Dean. The brothers turned to him with wide eyes and gaping mouths. The look Dean made Castiel want to kiss him so badly for his mistake.
"You met the other Dean? He didn't hurt you did he?" Dean leaned over the table, eyeing Castiel for any sign of pain.
"No, he didn't hurt me. He was just a dick."
"It's because he is a dick!" Sam added receiving a glare from Dean.
"So wait, why would your split personality be a dick?" Castiel asked.
"That's the other thing," Sam started, but Dean hit Sam on the shoulder.
"We don't know why." Dean gave a shaky laugh and Sam looked annoyed.
"Why dig that hole deeper? I thought you liked this guy?" Sam asked and slapped his brother back. "The Dean you met this afternoon is the Dean I grew up with. He’s considered the split personality. But the other Dean..." Sam looked like he was gathering his thoughts when Dean wrapped a hand around Sam's arm with a pleading face. Then Dean turned to Castiel.
"In good time. I'm just hoping the little charades this afternoon didn't hurt our future."
"What do you mean?"
"The other Dean is quite emotional. And if he sees you again and remembers you, I don't know what he would do," Dean's green eyes were shiny with tears. Castiel always thought this Dean was quite emotional, the other one just seemed ready for a fight. "Maybe this is a bad idea." Dean fought back tears which made Sam roll his eyes again.
"Castiel, are you willing to date my brother, and try to make amends with the other?" Sam said, surprising both Castiel and Dean.
"What do you mean, 'amends'?"
"Get the other Dean to befriend you, or more is fine. But the other Dean is quite difficult."
Castiel sat there and started to think, and think, and think.
"If I, say, get the other Dean to like me, wouldn't that be dating two people? What if something goes wrong? How do I know which Dean is which?" These were logical questions. And these questions also answered the brother’s question. He was insane for doing this, but he is going to try. Dean was good to him, and Castiel could try to make it work.
-----------
They all agreed to get Castiel to meet the real Dean in a controlled environment. Sam agreed to have it at the brothers’ home because Dean was calm there. Sam told Castiel that Dean would never lay a hand on anyone, but that he was very good at getting into people's heads. The weekend finally came and Castiel walked up to the small dark green door of the brothers’ townhouse and let out a tense sigh before lifting his hand to knock. Sam opened the door with a soft smile.
"Ready? He's in a good mood right now," Sam said, turning on his heel and leading him down a hall.
"This is Dean, Dean? Not my Dean?"
"Yes, don't mention the split personality unless he does, ok?" Sam opened a door to a modest kitchen. Dean was sitting at the table in the middle of the room eating what looked like pie. He looked up and spotted Castiel, giving both Castiel and Sam a long hard look.
"It's you!" Dean said around a mouth full of pie. "From Chuck’s!"
Sam sat down and gestured for Castiel have a seat across from Dean.
"Hello Dean. Sorry about that, thought you were someone else. My name is Castiel. I work with your brother," Castiel said, keeping his voice steady.
"Someone else, huh? Was it Jensen? ‘Cause you know we are the same person," Dean sounded annoyed, his green eyes on Castiel.
"Who's Jensen?" Castiel asked, but a little noise from Sam revealed that was the wrong question. Dean’s eyes went dark.
"Is he calling himself Dean? We had an agreement! Sam?"
"It was months, months without you. People questioned it, so we felt it was best to just call him Dean." Sam turned his seat towards Dean, almost in a defensive stance.
"Thought it was best? What? Did he take my job too? Bet those criminals make him cry just by looking at him," Dean snorted at his own joke. "Fucking pussy," he mumbled crossing his arms and slouching in his seat.
"Dean. I just wanted to get to know you. Not, Jensen. You. I am very close friends with Jensen, and I would like to be your friend too if you'd let me," Castiel began to tap his fingers on the table and eyed Dean. Dean still had the small smile on his face, he wasn't taking this seriously, and Castiel knew how to deal with children. "I don't know how many sticks are up your ass, but, have friends, give your brother the reassurance of a happy brother."
Castiel realized he took it a bit too far. The room filled with tension and he looked at Dean's face for any change in emotion. An unexpected emotion bloomed on Dean: he began to laugh.
"You're a high school teacher? I'd hate for you to get on my bad side," he laughed and turned to Sam. "I like this guy. He's got spunk."
Dean stood up and took his plate to the sink. Sam let out a loud sigh eyeing Castiel, who felt all the blood from his face empty ,incredulous.
"How long do we have Sammy?" Dean asked as he washed his hands. Sam relaxed into his seat, and looked at his wristwatch.
"About two hours."
"Alright Castiel, let's become friends."
Dean walked out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hall.
"Why two hours?" Castiel whispered to Sam as he stood up.
"Dean has to take his pill eventually. Trust me, you want him to take it, he becomes irritable," Sam’s tone wasn’t irritated, but something else Castiel couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sam stood with him and led him down the hall to a living room where Dean was sitting on the couch drinking a bottle of coke, which seemed strange since he held the bottle like it was a beer. Castiel remembered Dean...Jensen telling him he doesn't drink alcohol because he took pills that affect it. At the time, Castiel thought it was just anti-depressants or even allergy medicine, not medicine to hold back split personalities. Dean looked over calmly when his brother and Castiel entered the room; this was his atmosphere and he looked comfortable. Sam patted Castiel’s shoulder and left him alone with Dean. Castiel rounded the couch and sat on next to Dean.
"So uh, Castiel right?" Dean took another long drink. “I know you like books and you work with my brother.”
"Yes, and you're Dean Winchester. Not Jensen. You, I assume, like pie and seem to be quite emotional."
"I am not the emotional one! You don't see me crying at any sign of challenge or bump in the road," Dean protested forcefully.
"No, but you just blew up as I pointed out your characteristics."
"You're a smart ass," Dean mumbled, finishing his drink. He looked at the bottle with dissatisfaction, most likely wishing it was something stronger.
"Let us change the subject then; what do you do for a living?" Castiel shifted in his seat, uncomfortable by Dean's tense posture.
"I was a cop. I do what Jensen does now. A mechanic, right? Dad was a mechanic, just typical my other self is one," Dean sank lower into his sat. "What do you teach?"
"World history to high school juniors. And freshmen English."
"History huh? Same as Sam. Ya’ know he was going to be a big shot lawyer, but then I, I kinda screwed that up," Dean kept his eyes on his hands in his lap. A short pause gave Castiel time to think.
"You blame yourself for a lot don't you?" Castiel asked. He sensed Dean was a strong individual, protective, and caring - unlike Jensen's very soft personality, which usually involved Castiel deciding everything. The diner they went to the other night was the first time Jensen took initiative.
"Don't psychoanalyze me!" Dean raised his voice and turned to Castiel, but quickly looked away again. "You don't know anything."
"That's why I am here isn't it? To find out? Ok, let's talk about our childhood then, that ok with you?"
The silence became uncomfortable, maybe it was a bad idea to start with such personal questions, but Castiel wanted to know more about Dean. Castiel watched as Dean gave him a simple,woeful nod. He thought he could learn Dean best if he knew where it all began. And weather talk was dull.
"Ok,” Castiel said finally. “I was born in a religious family who went to church every Sunday. I have two older brothers. My parents both died when I was eighteen. I was reserved in school but was valedictorian of my senior class. I went to a community college because my parents left me nothing. I became a teacher two years later and never looked back since then."
Castiel could hear his annoyance build in is voice as he told Dean, but he never dig up his past for anyone. He let out a shaky sigh and gestured toward Dean. "Your turn."
Dean was staring at him, absorbing everything. He shook his head then opened his mouth and closed it twice before starting.
"I was born in a simple family until my mother was murdered when I was five. My father moved here after to escape the pain. I had to take care of Sam because my father would be either working at the auto shop or drinking until he went unconscious,” Dean paused and looked awkwardly at Castiel then back to his lap where his hands rested. “I had my split personality start up in high school. Jensen would randomly come out during school. Sam communicated between us, so Jensen knew what to do in that situation. It was embarrassing and annoying, but we didn't have health care, and our father was no help.” He gave another shaky laugh. “At eighteen, I adopted Sam and we move away from our father. I got help and took pills to keep Jensen away. Sam and I were fine on our own. I went to the academy immediately after high school and climbed the ladder from a cop to a detective. My father died from a heart attack and we had to deal with that. We continued living, pushing through, and life happened. We make choices, and-“ he paused his face changing. “Jensen took over and that's it.”
Dean‘s story finished and he avoided making eye contact. Dean was hiding something, but Castiel knew to respect some secrets.
"I've never told anyone this except those clowns at the clinics who insist I do." Dean said, giving Castiel a sincere smile. Sam walked into the room with a glass of water and a pink pill. Dean’s face squinted up in displeasure. He took the pill quickly and chugged the water. "Sam? How about doing this again next Saturday?"
"Sure thing Dean," Sam said before exiting the room, no expression on his face. Dean turned back to Castiel and gave him another smile as he set down the empty glass.
"Uh, how long does it take for the pill to kick in?" Castiel asked.
"Not too long, it could be right away, could be twenty minutes," Dean rubbed his face, something Castiel would do when he is tired.
"How would I know when it happens?" he asked looking at the doorway, wondering what time it was. When he turned back to Dean, Dean was staring at him.
"When what happens?" Dean asked, but his voice sounded different.
"Jensen?"
"Castiel?" Jensen looked around the room. "Oh, wait they told you? Well ok, uh - ah."
Jensen’s face was red and he was stumbling over his words. Castiel recognized this from one of their dates when Jensen had secretly paid for the food. When it was revealed, Jensen gotten nervous like this. Castiel thought it was adorable, and missed it when he was talking to firecracker Dean. Castiel leaned over and pressed their lips together in a light kiss. Jensen relaxed under it and wrapped his arms around Castiel. They pulled apart just enough to see each other. Castiel still had so many questions, but one thing hit him first.
"I missed you," he gave Jensen another peck and pushed back. "Uh, may I ask you a question?"
Jensen gave him a reassuring smile and nodded
"Does, uh, Dean know what happens when you're uh..." he gestured to his body.
"No. Well, it has happened a few times but just like it happens to me, I shake it off as a dream."
"Does Dean know about us? As far as I could tell he thinks we are friends, but he could be hiding it."
"He doesn't know. Sam and I don't want him to know just yet. He got mad last time and refused to take the pill for days. It kinda hurt us both in that process so I don't think he'll do it again, but still don't want to take that chance."
"What happens when he doesn't take it, I mean he told me he lived years without a pill and you took over, why now?" Castiel knew he hit a nerve when he asked that question. He didn't know what was safe ground, even with Jensen.
"I guess he wanted to rest. When I take over, his world goes black and he is just there. Doctors say some personalities can bleed through while taking over, so they either have some control or do that whole talking to yourself thing. The talking to yourself thing started happening to Dean and I awhile back and he found it nerve racking. Other things happened too, and all of us thought it was best to ask for help."
"All of us, you mean you, Dean, and Sam right? There aren’t other personalities that will surprise me, right?" Jensen opened and then closed his mouth, scratching his face. He let out a sigh and Castiel was ready for the worst.
"No. Not anymore. It's just Dean and I."
Sam walked in smiling about something but frowned at Jensen, turning to Castiel he shook his head.
"I, uh, have to go out for a while," Sam gave Jensen another odd look, turned and left.
"What was that?" Castiel's mind has been observing again, he used to be very talented at picking up small things and now that talent is back and with full force.
He was noticing the different ticks between Dean and Jensen. Their voices: Jensen's was relatively higher and more pleasant, Deans was tougher and louder. Jensen always sat properly in any setting, whereas Dean slouched but looked relaxed. And he realized Sam loves Dean with all his heart, but Jensen was another story.
"Oh, he can tell the difference between us. Guess he wanted to give us space. Hey, did you know when Dean let me take over he gave me my own room yet he has one too? Awesome huh!! Imagine one person having two full bedrooms," he laughed, Castiel joining him with a small laugh of his own.
"May I see them?" Castiel's curiosity was swarming in a hot buzz in his mind. It was like dating a twin, but with one body. Jensen stood up and led him upstairs. He entered a messy room that had clothes thrown everywhere. There was a mattress on the ground with its blue sheets unmade, and the nightstand was clustered with papers, books, and orange pill bottles. Blue sheets covered the windows, so the only light came from the wall light Jensen used.
"Guess whose room this is?" Jensen chirped.
"Uh, Dean’s?" he couldn't imagine the man he was dating to be so messy.
"Correct! He hasn't had time in here for a while..." Jensen stopped mid-sentence and dragged Castiel to the next door. This room was brighter than the last. A larger bed sat in the middle of the room with tan sheets and a large fluffy tan comforter. A desk sat across from the large window, it had a few orange bottles and papers, but not as messy as Dean’s.
"This is yours?" Castiel knew it was but kept Jensen happy by guessing.
"Yep, quite proud of it. Got a job and paid for everything myself," Jensen looked at his watch. "The night is young, did you want to go out?" Jensen pulled Castiel in, but he was staring at the orange pill bottles.
"I think, I need to go home. It's been a very interesting afternoon," Castiel said. His mind was buzzing. Jensen immediately released Castiel and gave him another small smile.
"I understand. Let me show you out."
--------------------------------------------
Castiel was working on his history class’s essay during their lunch break. He didn't notice Sam until he cleared his throat.
"Hello Sam," Castiel said and circled the wrong date on someone's paper in blue pen.
"How was your weekend?" Sam's voice was sharp and full of nervousness - concerned for his brother, most likely.
"Besides meeting Dean? Uneventful. I just finished making up my final exam," Castiel said quickly. He turned the page and sighed angrily at more wrong facts.
"Well, good news, by the way. Dean wants to hang out again. And you should probably call Jensen. He's been moping around the apartment all weekend since you left," Sam sounded sincere but Castiel only had one thing on his mind.
"Yes yes. Hey, do you think we can continue this after school? Meet me at my classroom?" he scooped his papers up and proceeded to stand, when he saw Sam's face. A purple bruise blossomed over his left cheek. "Sam, what happened?" he was genuinely shocked.
"Nothing! Just a little accident that's all," Sam said it like he's said a million times before.
"Sam!" Castiel said louder, turning heads. Sam pulled Castiel by his forearm out of the teachers’ lounge into his classroom across the hall. Behind closed doors, Sam let out a heavy sigh.
"Calm down, Castiel. Ok? This happens occasionally. I can handle it."
"What happens occasionally?" Castiel heart dropped to his feet.
"Back in the day, when Dean got stressed out he developed other personalities. Now, I'm telling you this as a warning. Dean has a total of three personalities: Jensen, Misha, and another. Jensen is what doctors have recognized as the main one. Misha only comes out if either Jensen or Dean are sad, and the other comes out when he is mad. Jensen came out randomly, but Misha and the other are emotionally triggered."
Castiel listened closely as Sam explained.
"So what? Did Dean or Jensen get mad and the other personality socked you?" Castiel was a little concerned too.
"No! The angry one is locked down. That's what the meds are for. Misha came out." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. A nervous tick, Castiel was picking up on.
"And what type of person...personality is Misha?"
"Misha is a sly ass hole who just wants to have fun. Think of him as a cross between a humanitarian and a really bad comedian with a sexual boost."
"So a hippie horny teenager?" Castiel only knew that because most of his students were hippie horny teenagers.
"Exactly. He socked me when I refused to let him out of the house, I kinda hit back and locked him in Dean’s room."
Castiel could tell Sam felt bad but was annoyed by Misha.
"So don't make them sad, got it!" Castiel said, imagining Dean as a horny teenager. It made him laugh, thinking of Dean as one of his students.
"Call Jensen. He's going nuts thinking he did something wrong," Sam said which made Castiel laugh.
------
Castiel decided to call Jensen after he got home. He sat on his couch staring at the kitchen, fixating on an orange on the table, as the phone rang.
"Hello?" a husky voice on the other end, sounding like someone who had just woken up at four in the afternoon.
"Jensen?" Castiel actually kind of missed Jensen now that he thought about it.
"No, Dean. This Castiel?"
Castiel’s heart sank. This was oh-so strange.
"Uh yeah. I was hoping to talk to Jensen," he bit his tongue. He was supposed to be making friends with both of them, it shouldn't matter who answered the phone.
"Sorry but my next pill take isn't for another hour. I just woke up with a black eye so if you don't mind, I'm going to find my brother and knock his teeth out."
Dean hung up. Castiel hoped that Sam would be alright. He decided to call in an hour, thinking that Jensen was just not home instead of not in control of the shared body.
-----------
Castiel got a hold of Jensen and they went out for coffee. Castiel actually missed Jensen; his easy smile, listening to Castiel all the way before speaking, his small jokes between conversations. And boy did he miss kissing him. They decided to go back to Castiel’s place, and didn’t even make it up to the apartment. Castiel found himself forcing himself away from Jensen so they could take it out of the car and inside.
As they reached the bedroom and Jensen tore Castiel’s shirt off, Castiel held Jensen away for a moment and asked; "Pill?"
Jensen just smiled and nodded before pushing Castiel onto the bed.
--------------------
This time when Castiel woke up, there was another body in his bed. He smiled as he watched Jensen sleep, his mouth gaping and small snores issuing from his throat. He eyed the bruise around Jensen's eye, wishing Sam didn't hit him so hard. Castiel finally got out of bed and decided to let Jensen sleep while he took a hot shower. He couldn't help but smile the whole time. When he exited the bathroom, Jensen was still asleep. He got dressed and went to make them breakfast. Castiel was pouring himself a cup of coffee when a loud voice yelled: "Son of a bitch!" Castiel set his cup down and whined.
"Shit!" he breathed out, realization coming over him, and rushed to the bedroom. Jensen was gone. It was Dean, wide green eyes, gathering sheets to cover himself.
"Castiel! What am I doing here? Where are my pants?!" Dean asked, frantically looking around the room. Castiel didn't know what to do - tell the truth or lie. He needed to call Sam, now.
"Just stay here."
Castiel dashed out of the room, closing it behind him as he heard Dean call his name frantically. Castiel dug his phone out of his pocket and quickly called Sam. Sam picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Dean woke up, and it's supposed to be Jensen. He was Jensen. Now he's Dean, naked Dean. What do I do?" he rushed, trying to say everything at once.
"First, calm down. This has happened before. Just listen to me and everything will be fine," Sam sounded stern and calm, like he knew what he was doing.
------
When Castiel reentered the bedroom cautiously, he found a very irritated Dean. Still naked, still under the sheets.
"Castiel. Is there something you'd like to tell me? What happened last night with you and Jensen?" Dean’s arms were crossed and his face was red with anger. Sam said Dean would assume they had sex, which was the truth.
"Misha is what happened. Jensen and I were watching TV then he climbed into my lap, I tried to push him off when he told me who he was. Misha got naked right away and started chasing me around the apartment. I got him in the bedroom and locked him in,”Castiel told the story as emotionless as possible. Dean’s face went from red faced angry to even redder faced - embarrassed. Dean looked down, closing his eyes, almost like he was trying to remember something.
"God, I am sorry Cas. I didn't know it was that bad. This is embarrassing, I’ll just find my pants and I'll leave."
Castiel felt a twinge of guilt.
"No Dean. It's not your fault. If anything it's Jensen's. Just stop blaming yourself. Here, I'll get your pants and we can eat breakfast and go out. Okay?"
Castiel went to the living room to retrieve their clothes from where they had fallen in the heat of the moment last night. Dean still looked surprised as Castiel handed him his clothes. Dean exited the room rubbing the back of his neck, his face still a tiny bit red.
"I, uh, donno what Misha did but I suggest washing your sheets," Dean said awkwardly. In the kitchen, Dean’s face perked up at the sight of breakfast. Castiel watched as Dean ate. Dean ate more aggressively then Jensen did. It surprised Castiel yet again at how different the two personalities were.
After breakfast, Dean suggested they go to Chuck’s bookstore. It was his favorite place to relax and think. It was Castiel's favorite place to find new treasures. Castiel drove them there, Dean tense and quiet in the passenger seat. Castiel cleared his throat, which made Dean turn to him.
"So, uh, anything special planned this weekend?" Castiel asked keeping his eyes on the road.
"Well if I can keep it together, Sammy and I are going to a baseball game Saturday. But if I keep having switches, especially with Misha, then I might have to stay in and double up my dosage."
"What happens if you double it?" Castiel felt concerned for not just Jensen but Dean also.
"Oh well uh, Jensen would be the main personality for a good week or two. Sam can't stand Jensen so he asked me to not take my pill on Friday so I can hang with him Saturday," Dean laughed quietly. "Sam hates all my personalities, which is funny ‘cause he originally hated me before all this went down. Now he can't get enough of me. Can't blame him, I'm awesome!" They laughed as Castiel parked on the side of Chuck’s bookstore.
As they walked in, Castiel spotted the twitchy wannabe writer, and owner of the bookstore, Chuck. He was behind his desk covered in old books. Chuck’s face lit up at the sight of Dean.
"Dean! Welcome back! Any new exciting stories?” he stood up and circled the desk, then leaned against it. “Who's this?"
"Nah, nothing that interesting. And this is Cas. He's uh, a friend. Any new Ben Jonson books?"
"No. Same copy of 'The Devil is an Ass.' Are you actually going to buy it instead of coming here and reading it by acts?"
Dean stepped down the closest isle.
"Probably not. What? This isn't a library?" Dean laughed and Chuck sighed. Castiel followed behind Dean closely. Dean went to the same place Castiel found him when they first met. He read the white plaque above the shelf, 'Shakespeare and more.' Dean didn't even look at the shelf before dragging out an orange book. The title did indeed say 'The Devil is an Ass' by Ben Jonson.
"Shakespeare was funny, but Jonson was hilarious!" he handed Castiel the book and moved back to the shelf, eyeing the books. Castiel observed the worn down orange book. The old book smell of vanilla filled his nose when he opened it. It was dog eared and written in with pencil. A very loved book. Castiel looked up to find Dean staring at him with shiny green eyes filled with excitement and anticipation. Dean had a blue used book in his hand now open to a random page. "“Heare mee, O God!/ A broken heart,/ Is my best part:/ Use still thy rod,/ That I may prove/ Therein, thy Love./ If thou hadst not/ Beene stern to mee,/ But left me free,/ I had forgot/ My selfe and thee./ For sin’s so sweet,/ As minds ill bent/ Rarely repent,/ Untill they meet/ Their punishment-” as Dean spoke the ancient language Castiel felt his face warm up. He was blushing like an old school boy. Dean spoke beautifully, not missing a beat. As a teacher, Castiel was jealous. As a man, he was stunned. He wanted to hear more, wishing Dean would continue out loud. But Dean was reading quietly in his head, concentrating on the book now.
Castiel walked away to the row of history books, trying to calm himself down. His heart was beating so quickly he was afraid it would burst from his cheat. His smile spread over his whole face. He's never felt this way before, not with Jensen, not with anyone. What was this? He decided to see if it would happen again. He walked back to the section where he left Dean to find it empty. He looked over in a few isles nearby but no sign of Dean. He was only gone for a moment, how far can one man get in this little bookstore? Castiel headed to the front, where he heard voices.
"How ‘bout this Dean: open to a women tied to a chair, gag in her mouth, cuts on her face from being hit by a hand covered in rings. Her eyes wide in fear-"
"Mofia? Really? That's the best you've got? Come on chuck! I taught you better." Chuck and Dean laughed as Castiel joined them.
"Cas, would you ever in a million years read one of Chuck’s crappy books?" Dean tried to say through his laughter.
"Hey they aren't that bad!" Chuck protested.
"I guess I can't judge until I read them," Castiel says before Chuck pushes a purple book across the counter towards him. Castiel looked at the book, back to Dean then Chuck who was smiling.
"Leave him alone Chuck." Dean says rolling his eyes. Chuck tried to defend himself as Castiel paid for some books, including the purple one.
----
Castiel and Dean ended up splitting after that, Castiel went home and Dean went to the police station. Castiel’s mind questioned it, but he ignored the fleeting though. He wanted to understand Dean’s life, how he came to be, but he didn’t want to intrude on Dean with such prying questions.
Once home, Castiel set down his books and decided to correct his student’s papers. As it got late, he started to finish up, realizing he only corrected a few papers because he couldn’t get Dean’s reading voice out of his head. He wanted to hear more, maybe he could. He smiled before calling it a night.
Continue to Part Two