God, so much to write, so little time.
I'm back, with a lot to say too. I haven't wrote for a long time and I sometimes I miss it and sometimes I don't. I guess I don't miss it cause nobody ever reads my journal. And really whats the point? Then again, I enjoy being able to vent without almost nobody judging me. So anyway, things with Chris are going pretty good. I don't want to jinx myself cause he really is the greatest guy. For one thing he is totally honest, and sometimes he makes me mad but he is just saying what he thinks. But then, he smiles at me and I melt, and then I forget why I'm mad. Funny thing, people are always asking me when we are going to get married; and honestly, if he asks me, I really would. He is "the One." Eventhough I haven't told him, I love him so much. Trent is crazy over him too. He's gotten Trent into playing playstation2 and it's so funny. Trent won't even be playing, (he thinks he is) and he'll say "i'm knocking your tail in!" LOL he learned that from Tim.
I miss Hope. The real Hope. Now, she's back to being the junkie Hope. She is my best friend in the world and I was so proud of her for the longest time. Then she relapsed, and now, Darla has custody of Daisy, and Hope is in jail. She's strung out and I haven't spoken to her since like, two weeks before Halloween. Maybe I'm being a coward, because I don't have the ball's to tell her the reality, but I've figured if she hasn't realized what she's doing then why should I even bother. I don't even think she cares that her rights as being a mother are GONE! Well, they wouldn't be if she was the strong person she claimed to be. I remember, about a year we were riding through Clifton and as we drove by, we had seen two of her "junkie" friends sitting on the side walk. Plain as day, I remember HOpe saying, "those are my old friends, and one day I'll be at their funeral." I totally miss her and I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't. Heroin, is from what I've seen through her, the worst drug you could ever ever do. To me, it seems like Satan. Once you do it, you as a person are gone. Not that it makes you a bad person, but it totally changes your personality. It just bothers me that, she has worked so hard, for everything she has in these last two years. She's given up on her "friends" and is living in a brand new house, she was going to college and being a very good mom. She threw it all away for one bad day. I just can't believe it, I think a part of me feels guilty for turning my back on her. I just, can't be around her like that. I do love her, she's family. My best friend. My son is more important to me though. Just like Daisy, Trent does not need to be subjected to that lifestyle. I won't allow and Hope doesn't realize that. She doesn't even realize how much she is hurting herself, let alone her own child. Daisy is only 6 years old and she has already seen way too much. At age 3, she had seen her mommy's good friend, Fatty, dead on her couch with the needle in his arm. She's watched her mom get the shit beat out of her, and so on and so on. A child does not deserve to be subjected to that. I guess, in another 3 years, we'll be best friends again, but until then, this my goodbye. I hate turning my back on family,but I have no choice....
Oh yeah, by the way, I have some new pix on my website. www.goddessericaspage.zoomshare.com P.S. There are some pictures of Chris on there too. for those who are curious. You can't tell him that they are on there though, he will be sooo pissed. Hehehe. Well I'm out, peace.
eRiCa
I miss Hope. The real Hope. Now, she's back to being the junkie Hope. She is my best friend in the world and I was so proud of her for the longest time. Then she relapsed, and now, Darla has custody of Daisy, and Hope is in jail. She's strung out and I haven't spoken to her since like, two weeks before Halloween. Maybe I'm being a coward, because I don't have the ball's to tell her the reality, but I've figured if she hasn't realized what she's doing then why should I even bother. I don't even think she cares that her rights as being a mother are GONE! Well, they wouldn't be if she was the strong person she claimed to be. I remember, about a year we were riding through Clifton and as we drove by, we had seen two of her "junkie" friends sitting on the side walk. Plain as day, I remember HOpe saying, "those are my old friends, and one day I'll be at their funeral." I totally miss her and I wish there was something I could do, but there isn't. Heroin, is from what I've seen through her, the worst drug you could ever ever do. To me, it seems like Satan. Once you do it, you as a person are gone. Not that it makes you a bad person, but it totally changes your personality. It just bothers me that, she has worked so hard, for everything she has in these last two years. She's given up on her "friends" and is living in a brand new house, she was going to college and being a very good mom. She threw it all away for one bad day. I just can't believe it, I think a part of me feels guilty for turning my back on her. I just, can't be around her like that. I do love her, she's family. My best friend. My son is more important to me though. Just like Daisy, Trent does not need to be subjected to that lifestyle. I won't allow and Hope doesn't realize that. She doesn't even realize how much she is hurting herself, let alone her own child. Daisy is only 6 years old and she has already seen way too much. At age 3, she had seen her mommy's good friend, Fatty, dead on her couch with the needle in his arm. She's watched her mom get the shit beat out of her, and so on and so on. A child does not deserve to be subjected to that. I guess, in another 3 years, we'll be best friends again, but until then, this my goodbye. I hate turning my back on family,but I have no choice....
Oh yeah, by the way, I have some new pix on my website. www.goddessericaspage.zoomshare.com P.S. There are some pictures of Chris on there too. for those who are curious. You can't tell him that they are on there though, he will be sooo pissed. Hehehe. Well I'm out, peace.
eRiCa