wow .. its been a while

[hippiechickii7]

I think that I have made some progress in my life with actually forgiving people and trying to move forward. I wish things could be better between some people and myself but I'm not going to force something if others dont want it or arent willing to work at it. Im sick of people talking about me all the time like Im the only one with problems. I wish people would stop and just listen and not have any judgements or any stupid remarks like, 'I told you so" or anything like that. I've realized that I am no longer angry at people. I feel sorry for them now. I believe I have a lot to offer people and if they cant see it or dont want my help or anything then it's their loss. I have also realized that I dont care if I am alone for the rest of my life because people tend to hurt you even if they do love you. I love a lot of people, whether or not they feel they same way is up to them. You cant force feelings or love... it just doesnt work. I also realized that I feel sorry for women that date men for money- but at the same time I am envious because it carries no emotional content to that relationship... its harder to be hurt. I think though out of all my experiences, that pain has made me who I am today- but has made it even harder to relate or to trust others. I have also found that I only truely care about one man and that if he doesnt want me after all of this that its ok... I know that I can move foward because I have already in so many ways and hes taught me that.
On a much brighter note, I hung out with my stephy poo this week. I love her so much. She and I are going through some bullshit right now and atleast we have each other to depend on. It feels so good to have someone there listening again and to have someone there to listen to. Shes gonna stay with me all week while my parents are in Vegas.YAY!