I love school.
One of the students in my class is arranging for the First Year's to take a tour of the LHC (Large Hadron Collider)at CERN given by the director of the ATLAS (one of the 4 accelerators on the collider) project, Professor Allan Clark.
At school: We have a building devoted to the physics dept. In the auditorium there are lots of instruments for doing quick demonstrations in class. In seminar today we heard a discussion on lasers. It is so freaking intense. So intense that it is the first time in my entire life where I am giving it all I got, and have given it all I got to the limit of getting a really nasty cold that is giving me fever and moving to my chest, and I feel like all my efforts, 80% of my waking hours being spent on studies, may not actually be enough to accomplish my goal.
If I fail one class, I fail for the whole year and have to retake EVERY SINGLE COURSE that I am taking first year. Never failed a class before. Just hope that IF I fail I will be able to stay in Switzerland for the next year. (I WON'T FAIL!!!) Have my first test of 6 for Mathematics for Physicists Tuesday of next week. This is the only class for which I will have tests during the semester; all others are the 2 end-of-semester written, 1 end-of-year oral system.
So tomorrow I am contemplating missing my classes (ED, Lin. Alg., and Mech.) as it is the only day of the week that does not have both Adv. Calc. and Math. Phys. I need a break. My body is telling me so. I want to go to school, love it, love the topics, helping and getting help from the other students in my class, the assistants. Its great. Like family. I am learning how to play an American card game in French with some of my classmates. But gotta rest.
-----------------
In other news, I saw my new bedroom! It is much better than I thought! Lots of storage space. I even have a cellar to myself. Share the bathroom, kitchen, and common area with the floor... but I have my own fridge in the kitchen and my own cupboard! And there is a lock on my door! And I can see the Mont Saleve from my 8th Floor window. Desk space. Sink in my room... WiFi access (have to pay about 15 per month).
Cedric said that he would help me move in yesterday, but I called him really upset because I was overwhelmed with school and being sick and we changed the date to next Tuesday. But then, Camille (the guy that I went out with once, who's ex-girlfriend is Annie, who once went out with Luc, the Constitutional Law thesis candidate/ twice-published writer that I dated for 2 months over the summer) told me more than a few times that he would like to help me move, and unlike Ced, he can do it Saturday (I finally met up with Camille for a second time last Friday after not seeing each other since June and chatting on MSN for about 6 weeks).....
So I am letting Camille help me move! And I could hear the muffled surprise in Cedric's voice when I wold him I had someone else to help me. So anyway I am going over to Ced's apartment for lunch on Friday so that he can give (loan) me some more money, and we can have some more civilized discussion.
Things are getting lighter with him. It looks like he is leaving for Guadeloupe in November and may buy a sailboat once he is there to sail around the world. He may be gone a month or two years. He doesnt know. This was the plan that we had together. But it is good that he is going to continue with it.
I am finally starting to FEEL and not just THINK that I don't want to be with him. He was mean to me. I can remember one time when we were in a bar with his friends and they were talking about how amazing looking this girl was. And I was like, pretty jokingly... but not entirely... as I WAS standing right there and they were gawking over her for several minutes, "Hey, what about me!" And he replied, "When was the last time you were in a room full of people like this and all the guys in the room were looking at you?"
Excuse me?!
It feels good to know that he can be nice to me. And now that I have found a level at which we can exist comfortably together... or at least that we are starting to settle into this level, I have no desire to try and upset this equilibrium. It seems that he appreciates me much more when I am not in the picture. (So cliché, I know.) Now that he knows that I am moving out and he won't have the misfortune (*cough*chance*cough*) to see me at his grandmother's, he is starting to ask questions. What have I been doing in the last SIX GODDAMNED MONTHS?
A "sorry" would be a start.
At school: We have a building devoted to the physics dept. In the auditorium there are lots of instruments for doing quick demonstrations in class. In seminar today we heard a discussion on lasers. It is so freaking intense. So intense that it is the first time in my entire life where I am giving it all I got, and have given it all I got to the limit of getting a really nasty cold that is giving me fever and moving to my chest, and I feel like all my efforts, 80% of my waking hours being spent on studies, may not actually be enough to accomplish my goal.
If I fail one class, I fail for the whole year and have to retake EVERY SINGLE COURSE that I am taking first year. Never failed a class before. Just hope that IF I fail I will be able to stay in Switzerland for the next year. (I WON'T FAIL!!!) Have my first test of 6 for Mathematics for Physicists Tuesday of next week. This is the only class for which I will have tests during the semester; all others are the 2 end-of-semester written, 1 end-of-year oral system.
So tomorrow I am contemplating missing my classes (ED, Lin. Alg., and Mech.) as it is the only day of the week that does not have both Adv. Calc. and Math. Phys. I need a break. My body is telling me so. I want to go to school, love it, love the topics, helping and getting help from the other students in my class, the assistants. Its great. Like family. I am learning how to play an American card game in French with some of my classmates. But gotta rest.
-----------------
In other news, I saw my new bedroom! It is much better than I thought! Lots of storage space. I even have a cellar to myself. Share the bathroom, kitchen, and common area with the floor... but I have my own fridge in the kitchen and my own cupboard! And there is a lock on my door! And I can see the Mont Saleve from my 8th Floor window. Desk space. Sink in my room... WiFi access (have to pay about 15 per month).
Cedric said that he would help me move in yesterday, but I called him really upset because I was overwhelmed with school and being sick and we changed the date to next Tuesday. But then, Camille (the guy that I went out with once, who's ex-girlfriend is Annie, who once went out with Luc, the Constitutional Law thesis candidate/ twice-published writer that I dated for 2 months over the summer) told me more than a few times that he would like to help me move, and unlike Ced, he can do it Saturday (I finally met up with Camille for a second time last Friday after not seeing each other since June and chatting on MSN for about 6 weeks).....
So I am letting Camille help me move! And I could hear the muffled surprise in Cedric's voice when I wold him I had someone else to help me. So anyway I am going over to Ced's apartment for lunch on Friday so that he can give (loan) me some more money, and we can have some more civilized discussion.
Things are getting lighter with him. It looks like he is leaving for Guadeloupe in November and may buy a sailboat once he is there to sail around the world. He may be gone a month or two years. He doesnt know. This was the plan that we had together. But it is good that he is going to continue with it.
I am finally starting to FEEL and not just THINK that I don't want to be with him. He was mean to me. I can remember one time when we were in a bar with his friends and they were talking about how amazing looking this girl was. And I was like, pretty jokingly... but not entirely... as I WAS standing right there and they were gawking over her for several minutes, "Hey, what about me!" And he replied, "When was the last time you were in a room full of people like this and all the guys in the room were looking at you?"
Excuse me?!
It feels good to know that he can be nice to me. And now that I have found a level at which we can exist comfortably together... or at least that we are starting to settle into this level, I have no desire to try and upset this equilibrium. It seems that he appreciates me much more when I am not in the picture. (So cliché, I know.) Now that he knows that I am moving out and he won't have the misfortune (*cough*chance*cough*) to see me at his grandmother's, he is starting to ask questions. What have I been doing in the last SIX GODDAMNED MONTHS?
A "sorry" would be a start.