(no subject)
I thought I should do a little update.
Waking up on New Year's was at first just a round of questions...
"Damn, why am I still wearing my jeans?"
"Ow, how did I manage this headache?... I thought I didn't drink that much"
"Where the fuck is my phone?"
"What happened to that second bottle of wine??"
I later found both the cell phone and the bottle of wine in my room... to my surprise the bottle had a fourth left, thus explaining all other questions.
Then my mom talked to me and made me face a couple of issues I've been having (no silly not about alcohol =) And I broke down (as in crying) because I realized something tragic. But it's one of those good realizations... like I'm finding how to make said situation better.
My dad drove upon the scene and took me to Lord of the Rings, Return of the King. And my day took on one of those turns that you won't forget.
I think it was the way the movie really captured all essences of love. And the reminder of the times when I read the book, and understood brotherhood and joining in hands to fight for our beliefs. (Not that I've actually participate in a war against THE evil eye, but little wars daily without weaponry are quite the same)
Anyhow, my dad and I came out of the theatre different people. We don't "hang out" a lot, and when we do there's always a point after say 3 hourse where we part. But after the movie we quickly agreed to go get some food. It wasn't until we were in front of the restaraunt that we admitted we weren't hungry. So instead we went to his house, and spent probably 20 minutes flicking channels, until finally I said "Look, what do you actually feel like doing?"
"You know, I kind of just feel like reading."
"Well me too!!"
So he picked up a magazine, and I scored his shelf and found "How to Survive on both Land and Sea" and we read for a couple of hours, quietly.
New Years day, so wacky the coincidence - I mean, I really changed my outlook on my life. I always have a million goals, and good inclinations, and compared tot he average Joe I get a lot done. But I came to the realization that most of my time I have been wasting. (I don't regret... it's just that I'm finally ready to take matters into my own hands) I have always said that time is moldable, that it doesn't exist because it really is a different measurement for everyone. But I wasn't ready to do the molding. To make a schedule that works for me.
I am adding to my old goals (maintaining scholarship, singing, and writing music) the following: Learn all I possibly can. Right now I'm focusing on philosophy, and the history of music, especially the works of the great classical composers. I guess I just finally admitted to just making the grade as they say instead of learning for the past 5 years. And I realize I like reading and learning, and since I don't really have a plan for a "future" I might as well be well educated.
I just can't wait! I hold newfound respect for the library! And there are so many fields - I can barely stop myself from drowning in them all at once!
Also, I lost my willpower to get 'fucked up'. Sure I enjoy the weed and alcohol, and I always have. But New Year's was Not okay, as I did not care with who, or where, just as long as I got drunk. And now it's back to the normal me... figure out the who and where, no other dependency.
Anyhow, long story, maybe pointless to those of you who probably figured out a long time ago what you value and what you don't. But it's said and now I'm done.
Oh yeah, I also started running everyday! And I swear to you, there is such thing as the runner's high =)
Waking up on New Year's was at first just a round of questions...
"Damn, why am I still wearing my jeans?"
"Ow, how did I manage this headache?... I thought I didn't drink that much"
"Where the fuck is my phone?"
"What happened to that second bottle of wine??"
I later found both the cell phone and the bottle of wine in my room... to my surprise the bottle had a fourth left, thus explaining all other questions.
Then my mom talked to me and made me face a couple of issues I've been having (no silly not about alcohol =) And I broke down (as in crying) because I realized something tragic. But it's one of those good realizations... like I'm finding how to make said situation better.
My dad drove upon the scene and took me to Lord of the Rings, Return of the King. And my day took on one of those turns that you won't forget.
I think it was the way the movie really captured all essences of love. And the reminder of the times when I read the book, and understood brotherhood and joining in hands to fight for our beliefs. (Not that I've actually participate in a war against THE evil eye, but little wars daily without weaponry are quite the same)
Anyhow, my dad and I came out of the theatre different people. We don't "hang out" a lot, and when we do there's always a point after say 3 hourse where we part. But after the movie we quickly agreed to go get some food. It wasn't until we were in front of the restaraunt that we admitted we weren't hungry. So instead we went to his house, and spent probably 20 minutes flicking channels, until finally I said "Look, what do you actually feel like doing?"
"You know, I kind of just feel like reading."
"Well me too!!"
So he picked up a magazine, and I scored his shelf and found "How to Survive on both Land and Sea" and we read for a couple of hours, quietly.
New Years day, so wacky the coincidence - I mean, I really changed my outlook on my life. I always have a million goals, and good inclinations, and compared tot he average Joe I get a lot done. But I came to the realization that most of my time I have been wasting. (I don't regret... it's just that I'm finally ready to take matters into my own hands) I have always said that time is moldable, that it doesn't exist because it really is a different measurement for everyone. But I wasn't ready to do the molding. To make a schedule that works for me.
I am adding to my old goals (maintaining scholarship, singing, and writing music) the following: Learn all I possibly can. Right now I'm focusing on philosophy, and the history of music, especially the works of the great classical composers. I guess I just finally admitted to just making the grade as they say instead of learning for the past 5 years. And I realize I like reading and learning, and since I don't really have a plan for a "future" I might as well be well educated.
I just can't wait! I hold newfound respect for the library! And there are so many fields - I can barely stop myself from drowning in them all at once!
Also, I lost my willpower to get 'fucked up'. Sure I enjoy the weed and alcohol, and I always have. But New Year's was Not okay, as I did not care with who, or where, just as long as I got drunk. And now it's back to the normal me... figure out the who and where, no other dependency.
Anyhow, long story, maybe pointless to those of you who probably figured out a long time ago what you value and what you don't. But it's said and now I'm done.
Oh yeah, I also started running everyday! And I swear to you, there is such thing as the runner's high =)