(no subject)
tomorrow start interning at Pricewaterhouse Coopers. Said goodbye to Prakriti Mukherjee, my BFF of six years, because she is headed to U. of Queensland aka med school her dream on the tenth. I've sort of been okay with this because I always thought that like all my other friends who've moved out of town, she'll be coming back after her course. Turns out her mum is going south with her~ which makes sense because her brothers already work in Canberra, and her family has a house there. Her eldest brother got married to an Australian girl, and they live there too, so what I'm saying is that there's nothing in Calcutta to keep her, and definitely nothing to bring her back. She's going to be a doctor, not a lawyer, so there's no reason why she can't have a successful practice somewhere in Australia. And all I want to do is hold on and I don't even know what to hold on and ask her to not leave. Because she has been everything those first four years~ she's the outgoing, practical, go-getter, me-I-wish-I-could be~ she's the one with whom I first took the public bus alone for fuck's sake. No matter who else has been in my life, she is the best person I've ever known, she's a part of me or a cliche like that, and I can't lose her. I have lost friends, friends have moved away, not been able to forgive, whatever, but she's always been there, and she's not coming back. I thought it was going to be hard losing Arnab, but I've lost him since January, but I always thought Prakriti would be in my future~ that distant, hazy, when-we're-as-old-as-our-mums future. She's the Jacob to my Bella, without the wangst, she's the Serena to my Blair without the bitchy, we've never even had a fucking fight over anything, and that doesn't even mean we repress things: we've just learned to roll with each other's punches, and I fucking hate her for being good enough to get what she wants out of her life. The only sentimental thing I have from her is the school-leaving letter she wrote me, like we used to all write for each other, and hers was more meaningful and loaded than everyone else's, and she said and I never forget~
you were right when you said "we're friends by default."