So Much Better
Dad called out of the blue tonight and we had a very nice conversation. He told me he's proud of me and that he thinks I'm a great person. It made me feel much better. It's such a good thing to get less crazy than I was for that really bad 2001-2005 period. It's been a long, dramatic snap-out-of-it process, but the end result was worth it. I still feel like I have shit to refine, but it's good to know what I really want and don't want for myself. Sometimes it seems like I'm never gonna get there or never gonna get what I want, which makes me sad and/or angry, but I feel like things are much more clear.
Enough emotional pulse taking...
The day to day things that've been on my mind have been straightening themselves out:
I ordered the washer and dryer. They're coming on Thursday. The landlord and his contractor {"he recently finished a big job at russell simmons's office!"} are gonna come over that evening and install them for me. THANK GOD.
My job is, once again, craaaaaazy slow ~BUT~ I think we've reached a good point with things- instead of my GM freaking out and intimating that he's gonna get rid of me any day now, since they're paying me way too much to do nothing, he and the creative director {who's finally kinda being cool with me} have decided that we are going to FINALLY redesign the company website and that it's a real project and I'm project managing it and I gotta make sure that it's taken seriously and is completed on time before New Years, etc., etc. The creative said straight up that not only is it necessary that we FINALLY get a real site up, this'll be a good project to keep me and my director/copywriter whom I love employed during the lull. Hence, my feeling that they're making a commitment to keeping me freelance-on staff. This makes me feel so much better.
Also, blahblahblah, more job stuff, the client told my creative director that they were very pleased with the video portraits we did and they want us to do another series in 2008. If it's not gonna be Europe then it'll definitely be West Coast, which would rock! So, I did 'em, they came out great and I'm most likely gonna get to do more. I keep saying this but I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF with all this. I totally nailed it on my own and now they have indisputable proof that I can produce. Also psyched I'm developing a cute, little multimedia reel for myself in the process. So pretty much I'm taking deep Zen breaths and hoping to keep it going through at least February, regardless of whether or not we get busy again. And if we get busy then I know my position there is secure and I'll have nothing to sweat. That would rock, too.
I had dinner with Nunito last night, which was awesome- we haven't seen each other in a really long time, so the catch up was great. I'm heading to ***'s at 10:30 tonight to not talk about anything stressful and maybe watch Daddy's Little Girls and be happy to sleep next to him. Tomorrow I have to go return a dress at Century 21. And my Sunday evening fantasies revolve around Fairway, but I'm not gonna push my luck. It's another rough patch with *** and this time it's really upsetting. He hung my skateboards this morning. They look fucking amazing. I'm gonna buy one more- the SP tags one, and then my collection will be complete. I'll take pictures of them and post them as soon as I get my new camera. My old one is gonna sell on Ebay- one person bid and 7 people are watching. The auction ends tomorrow.
Peace.
Enough emotional pulse taking...
The day to day things that've been on my mind have been straightening themselves out:
I ordered the washer and dryer. They're coming on Thursday. The landlord and his contractor {"he recently finished a big job at russell simmons's office!"} are gonna come over that evening and install them for me. THANK GOD.
My job is, once again, craaaaaazy slow ~BUT~ I think we've reached a good point with things- instead of my GM freaking out and intimating that he's gonna get rid of me any day now, since they're paying me way too much to do nothing, he and the creative director {who's finally kinda being cool with me} have decided that we are going to FINALLY redesign the company website and that it's a real project and I'm project managing it and I gotta make sure that it's taken seriously and is completed on time before New Years, etc., etc. The creative said straight up that not only is it necessary that we FINALLY get a real site up, this'll be a good project to keep me and my director/copywriter whom I love employed during the lull. Hence, my feeling that they're making a commitment to keeping me freelance-on staff. This makes me feel so much better.
Also, blahblahblah, more job stuff, the client told my creative director that they were very pleased with the video portraits we did and they want us to do another series in 2008. If it's not gonna be Europe then it'll definitely be West Coast, which would rock! So, I did 'em, they came out great and I'm most likely gonna get to do more. I keep saying this but I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF with all this. I totally nailed it on my own and now they have indisputable proof that I can produce. Also psyched I'm developing a cute, little multimedia reel for myself in the process. So pretty much I'm taking deep Zen breaths and hoping to keep it going through at least February, regardless of whether or not we get busy again. And if we get busy then I know my position there is secure and I'll have nothing to sweat. That would rock, too.
I had dinner with Nunito last night, which was awesome- we haven't seen each other in a really long time, so the catch up was great. I'm heading to ***'s at 10:30 tonight to not talk about anything stressful and maybe watch Daddy's Little Girls and be happy to sleep next to him. Tomorrow I have to go return a dress at Century 21. And my Sunday evening fantasies revolve around Fairway, but I'm not gonna push my luck. It's another rough patch with *** and this time it's really upsetting. He hung my skateboards this morning. They look fucking amazing. I'm gonna buy one more- the SP tags one, and then my collection will be complete. I'll take pictures of them and post them as soon as I get my new camera. My old one is gonna sell on Ebay- one person bid and 7 people are watching. The auction ends tomorrow.
Peace.