when it rains, it pours.
my heart feels as if it's in a zillion pieces. not because things are so hard, but because i just don't fully understand much of anything right now. my heart isn't fully anywhere...just broken and flung all over the place. when i die i want to be cremated and thrown into the air...get caught by the wind and fly. what a beautiful way to leave this world. i wish that i could have done that with my father's ashes. i think he would've wanted to fly. being buried in the ground just seems so out of character for him. come to think of it, it seems out of character for any person. maybe not.
memories are such an incredible thing. right now i'm listening to pete yorn and remembering my freshman year of college. that feels like a different life. it sort of was. there are very few people in my life that were in it then. isn't it funny how that happens in life? i've realized that the older i get, the closer and fewer my friends are. i like it better now. i miss watching the sunset. i wish there was somewhere in houston to watch the sunset in its full radiance. when i was little i would imagine God with a huge paintbrush and a magnificent pallet of intense colors...painting the sky. can you imagine what it would be like to paint the sky? the color of beautiful.
i miss feeling close. i feel as though something has snapped and i've been detached from love. true love. intense and passionate...full and selfless love. Jesus. the color of beautiful. it's time to dance, my friends. life is here and it's moving. i'm sitting. i need to dance. love love love.
memories are such an incredible thing. right now i'm listening to pete yorn and remembering my freshman year of college. that feels like a different life. it sort of was. there are very few people in my life that were in it then. isn't it funny how that happens in life? i've realized that the older i get, the closer and fewer my friends are. i like it better now. i miss watching the sunset. i wish there was somewhere in houston to watch the sunset in its full radiance. when i was little i would imagine God with a huge paintbrush and a magnificent pallet of intense colors...painting the sky. can you imagine what it would be like to paint the sky? the color of beautiful.
i miss feeling close. i feel as though something has snapped and i've been detached from love. true love. intense and passionate...full and selfless love. Jesus. the color of beautiful. it's time to dance, my friends. life is here and it's moving. i'm sitting. i need to dance. love love love.