(no subject)
My foster son yariel passed away on monday. he had suffered brain injuries after a fall. was pretty numb for a bit after powell called to tell me about it. then hit the crying/numb/crying/numb stage. Mom came home early and chris (new bf) came over.
I've decided to not go to the funeral. Seeing rytzi would be too hard. I did dream about them this morning. Hoping that was my closure for baby boy. Was so looking forward to seeing them at the labor day pow-wow. hopefully the one month in between now and then will make it easier for me see rytzi.
Mom helped me get thru the guilt last nite making me realize that he could've died from an accident even with me, and that he was very lucky to have been loved as much as he was in our home. I guess he's one of those angels that are sent to us for a little while before the creator wants them back at their side.
Luckily, Chris and I will be busy all weekend moving into his new place. it can help keep my mind off it.
I've decided to not go to the funeral. Seeing rytzi would be too hard. I did dream about them this morning. Hoping that was my closure for baby boy. Was so looking forward to seeing them at the labor day pow-wow. hopefully the one month in between now and then will make it easier for me see rytzi.
Mom helped me get thru the guilt last nite making me realize that he could've died from an accident even with me, and that he was very lucky to have been loved as much as he was in our home. I guess he's one of those angels that are sent to us for a little while before the creator wants them back at their side.
Luckily, Chris and I will be busy all weekend moving into his new place. it can help keep my mind off it.