Memories of Me - 30
Title: Memories of Me
Author: hinky_hippo
Amazing Artist: mella68
Pairing/genre: Gen, Team as family
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 104,500ish
Spoilers: through Season 7, episode 4
Warnings: Very bad things happen to very special agents. Some scenes may be triggery. Complete warnings here: Non-con, dub-con, rape, violence, torture, beheading, adult situations, bondage, multiple Gibbs!slaps & stuff - none of which is particularly dwelled upon but it’s definitely in there
Betas and cheerleaders: Thanks so much to my betas: annieb1955, gategirl7 and Zan! Any mistakes are purely my own as I am an incurable, pathological tweaker. Thanks also to my cheerleaders: slipstream and luthien82, I couldn’t
have done this without all your wonderful input and support!
Summary: An undercover operation goes horribly awry when Tony's cover is blown.
Notes: Written especially for the ncis_bigbang
I don’t own NCIS, it owns me…
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30
Mella's Art:
Chapter Thirty
As she headed towards the door to leave, Amanda Curtis couldn’t help but take an extra minute to soak up the ambiance. This quirky accidental family had come to grow on her and she could not imagine a more healing place than this small double hospital room. Soft jazz played constantly courtesy of Abby’s iPod sitting in its dock on the table next to McGee’s bed. The curtain between the two men was currently partially drawn but there was a constant ebb and flow of people from one side to the other as everyone’s physical and emotional needs were cared for, often in the smallest of gestures.
In the far bed, she could see that Tony had drifted off to sleep, tucked under his fleece Marine Corps blanket and snuggled up to an impressively ugly stuffed hippo, which she had only realized halfway through her visit was the likely source of the farting noises that had interspersed their conversation. Tony had one of his hands innocently draped across Gibbs’ lap as his boss quietly read a book. In the other bed, Abby was curled up against Tim, trying to sneak a peek at his cards while he continued to hide them from her as they played a game with Ziva and his sister. Tim’s parents casually lounged nearby, his mother crocheting what was shaping up to look like a sweater while his father was muttering to himself as he worked on a Sudoku puzzle.
Stepping from the room, Amanda was intercepted by Brad Pitt and Donald Mallard.
Raising his eyebrows in invitation, Brad asked, “Was he awake?”
Amanda smiled. “Yes. Briefly.”
“What do you think?”
Amanda considered her short visit……
“Hi, Tony,” Amanda rested a hand on her patient’s bicep as he attempted to face her. Resting on her haunches next to Gibbs’ seat so she could meet Tony’s eyes, she cautioned, “Don’t get up, this isn’t an official visit - I just wanted to check in on you.”
“Hi, Mandy,” Tony breathed. The corner of his lips quirked when Gibbs’ eyebrow rose at his use of the doctor’s nickname. “Good thing….not up to much talkin’.”
“I can see that. When you are up to it, we can talk if that’s okay with you?”
“I’d like that,” Tony allowed shyly.
She noticed Gibbs tense when she asked, “Have you remembered much?”
Tony’s eyes grew distant. “Pretty much everything, I guess.”
“That’s a lot to remember,” she observed sympathetically.
“It’s not all bad,” Tony reminded her with a wistful smile. “A lot of what I forgot….some of the best times of my life, you know.”
“Like what?” she asked with a hopeful smile.
“The day Gibbs became my boss.” Tony beamed a devilish grin in recollection as Gibbs snorted in amusement.
“It sounds like there’s a good story there. Your Boss…” Amanda pondered slyly, “Is that with a big ‘B’ or a little ‘b’?”
“Two ‘b’s,” Tony supplied with a smile Gibbs fondly shadowed……
Amanda shook her head at the two doctors facing her. “I think Tony’s going to be fine in time. He’s remarkably resilient and his support system is incredible.”
“But, how about going back into the field?” Ducky asked fretfully. “I cannot begin to express to you how important it is to him to be a field agent again.”
She sighed softly. “I can’t make any promises, but he’s come so far even before this latest trauma, I don’t see why not. Much of it is up to him. As soon as he’s ready, I’d like to schedule some appointments…”
Ducky smiled in relief, “Of course, Amanda. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for him.”
“Ducky, it has been my pleasure!”
His eyes wide with mock alarm, Brad laughed, “Don’t say that - look where it got me!”
“You wouldn’t have had it any other way, Bradley,” Ducky chided in jest.
“Duck, I swear these grey hairs I’m starting to get have Tony’s name written all over them. Are you sure Gibbs was already silver when he hired him?”
“Quite certain, although I assure you I have acquired quite a few of my own!”
000
Shifting a little more upright in his bed, McGregor looked uncomfortably at his parents as they both settled in for another long visit. They were staying at the local temporary base housing for retired officers while he recuperated but, as much as he appreciated their coming to see him in the hospital, Tim couldn’t shake the guilty feelings having loving parents doting on him as thoroughly as his parents did when he suspected Tommy never had. He was just thankful they spent most of their mornings with his sister, Sasha, until visiting hours officially opened shortly after lunch.
For his part, Tommy spent most of the time blissfully unaware, sleeping, frequently with the curtain drawn. Tim’s boss was also impressively scarce considering he rarely left the room. Tibbs still paid plenty of attention to McGregor’s care as well, especially before visiting hours when he was the only one present, but he had handed over responsibility of McGregor to his parents when they arrived. Now, when his parents appeared each day, Tibbs would politely visit for a while before excusing himself to disappear behind the curtain. Tim could occasionally hear Tibbs speak too low for him to hear and Tommy’s voice softly in reply.
Doctor Bitt was in and out constantly and would often stop and visit McGregor when he came to check on Tommy. When Doctor Amurtis came, Tim would often be visited by Tibbs when the psychiatrist would kick him out of Tommy’s side of the room, draw the curtain and put on some music to ensure Tommy’s privacy while they spoke.
A few days after they were admitted, Amy arrived all smiles with her jeweler friend, Benjamin, in tow. As soon as he saw him, Tibbs impatiently ushered Benjamin directly to Tommy’s bed, where Doctor Amurtis was waiting, and drew the curtain while Amy visited with McGregor. When they left, McGregor noticed Tommy’s wrist cuffs and collar were now missing and he assumed the ankle bracelets had been removed as well, taking the visible reminders of Tony’s ordeal away. McGregor couldn’t help but wonder about the piercings but felt it might be not be a good idea to ask Tibbs about them. If Tibbs were ever to leave the room when she was present, he could always ask Amy, but he knew Tibbs would know about it even if he wasn’t present. Asking Tommy himself wasn’t an option, since Tim somehow knew he would never live it down.
That evening, when the team congregated in their room and the curtain was drawn out of the way so everyone could visit, McGregor couldn’t miss how Tommy’s hand frequently drifted to his bare neck until Amy rose with a harrumph, drew Tibbs off for a stern lecture and then turned to speak privately with Tommy. The next morning when the physical therapist came to work with Tommy, McGregor noticed a simple gold chain had appeared on Tommy’s neck with what appeared to be the tag from his collar on it.
In no time at all, McGregor had had enough of lying in bed. Every time the therapist would come by to help Tommy up, Tim would enviously watch his partner rise and toddle around the room or, as he regained his strength, disappear down the corridor as he worked on his core balance. With McGregor’s arm out of commission as well, crutches weren’t an option and he was sick of being an invalid. Tibbs seemed to sense this and did his best to keep McGregor’s mind elsewhere, but it was Tommy who seemed to keep Tim’s spirits up the most with increasingly constant chatter about all manner of things as he recovered as well.
While Tibbs sat off to one side watching in amusement, the two partners watched movies, TV shows and sporting events, often doing their best Mystery Science Theater impressions as the cable stations reran the same movies over and over. Amy loved to join them and contribute her own spin on the characters and plotlines while Lisa enjoyed the repartee but seemed befuddled by the nonsense. Just as they were running out of distractions, Pimmy brought some of Tommy’s DVDs, earning him their undying gratitude as they sought new ways to relieve their boredom without earning a slap from Tibbs.
Through it all, McGregor came to understand his boss’ observation. As much as Tommy had suffered terribly throughout his ordeal, he was still Tommy. He had survived, maybe a bit scarred in spots, but with his head held high and his spirit intact. Tommy wasn’t a victim because Tommy chose to triumph over it rather than allow it to rule him. While he would occasionally grow quiet and, perhaps, a bit reflective, he never seemed to brood or agonize over what had happened, which fascinated McGregor. After McGregor had infiltrated the terrorist camp, it had taken him several days to process it and, after his own captivity in the prison, he’d had nightmares for weeks afterwards. Tommy was a survivor and, through it, McGregor found he could survive it and move on as well.
000
McGregor gingerly shifted on his bed to watch Doctor Bitt and Nurse Anna help Agent Tommy into the wheelchair. Tommy was finally on his way home to recover from his latest ordeal, leaving McGregor alone in the hospital room. With the gunshots to both his leg and shoulder rendering him relatively helpless, McGregor would have to stay in the hospital at least one more day before Amy could take him home. Agent Lisa and Special Agent Tibbs hovered nearby as Dr. Bitt went over Tommy’s instructions with him one last time. By the time the doctor was finished, Tibbs had the wheelchair well in hand and was edging his way towards the door.
“Good luck with the escape plans, Probie! By the way, I put in a request for a sponge bath from Nurse Greta for you - she’ll be up in a little while,” Tommy exclaimed with a mischievous grin over his shoulder as he disappeared from view.
“Bye, Tommy,” McGregor grumbled, not sure if he was glad for Tommy’s return to his version of normalcy or wished a little of his former persona had stuck.
With a knowing smirk, Agent Lisa fluttered her fingers good-bye at McGregor as she flew out of the room to try to keep up with the senior agent, who appeared to be making a beeline for the elevators before the doctor changed his mind.
With his parents off touring the Capital city for the day, for the first time in nearly a week and a half, McGregor was truly alone. In an effort to relieve his boredom, McGregor flipped through the TV channels, looking for something to watch. His laptop Amy had smuggled in just a couple days earlier had been confiscated the day before when Tibbs caught him trying to hack into the hospital’s main frame to access his MMORPG. Amy was busy with a few cases and had called earlier to promise she would be by later in the day or, at least, that’s what he thought she said over the blaring cacophony behind her.
By the time Doctor Brant wandered in, McGregor had been manhandled clean, no thanks to Tommy, and was now officially bored to death. Goosie quirked an eyebrow at the 1960’s spy show and McGregor’s heavy lidded eyes and limp posture as he came into the room.
“Are things truly so bleak, Timothy? At least you have some good shows to watch, I see.”
“I’m so bored, Goosie.”
“Well, that’s why I’m here,” the coroner placated. “Apparently, I missed young Thomas?”
“Yeah, Tibbs took him home two hours ago.”
“Oh, LJ didn’t bring him home; he simply came to visit and ensure that Tommy was released into good hands. Director Lance needed Tibbs in the office today. I believe Agent Lisa offered to take Thomas home.”
McGregor sat up a little straighter, wincing when his shoulder pulled the wrong way against his sutures. That wasn’t right!
Remembering Lisa’s cat caught the canary smile as she left, his eyes narrowed. “Lisa brought him home?”
“Oh, yes. Tibbs has meetings with Lance and the FBI all day to close out the case, so Lisa offered to take the day off so she could bring Thomas home and get him settled.”
“I bet she did,” McGregor said under his breath.
“You know, Ziva, the next time you offer to bring someone home from the hospital, you might want to grab a company car,” Tony complained petulantly as the petite Israeli struggled to hoist him into a standing position from the passenger seat of her Cooper.
“I do not see the need for a company car when my car serves the purpose.”
“You’re also not six-two with a back that doesn’t want to hold itself up,” Tony gritted as he pulled himself upright by the car’s roof.
Tony readily accepted the help when Ziva scurried under one of his arms and helped him limp into Gibbs’ house. Depositing him on the couch with twin groans, Ziva helped Tony lie down and covered him before rushing out to the car to collect his things. By the time she returned, Tony had already dozed off, exhausted from the simple exertion. Organizing Tony’s medication on the island and pulling out the book she had tossed into the top of the bag, Ziva wandered into the kitchen to make herself a pot of tea.
Gently leading Tommy into her apartment, Agent Lisa smiled seductively at him. “Doctor Bitt said you need to move your back on a regular basis for your skin to heal with some elasticity. Why not start now, Tommy?”
“Why, Leesah, I never thought you’d ask!” Tommy replied huskily as he drew her close to him. He flinched and reached around to gently take her wrists in his hands, placing them on less tender spots without breaking the embrace.
Stepping out of the embrace with an inviting wink, Lisa linked her arm with his and led Tommy towards her bedroom.
Gibbs looked up from his book as a shadow drifted to haunt just beyond the doorway. Pulling his glasses off, he peered into the dark, seeing an outline created by the soft glow of a distant nightlight.
“Tony, you okay?”
Tony came into the light, hesitation in every line of his body. He stood wordlessly looking at Gibbs, his expression warily embarrassed. Gibbs couldn’t help but flash on a little girl with auburn braids and a large bunny clutched in one hand standing in much the same way with a singular plea in her eyes.
“I- um… I better get to bed.” With one hand on the doorframe for balance, Tony turned away only to be stopped by Gibbs’ voice.
“Tony?”
“I’m fine. I just-“
“No. Come here.”
“Gibbs…”
“Do I have to make that an order?”
Meekly shaking his head, Tony obeyed, coming just over the threshold, his eyes anxiously looking around the room.
“Come here,” Gibbs coaxed his recalcitrant agent. He flipped the covers off the other side of the bed. “Come to bed.” At Tony’s obstinate look, Gibbs glared back in challenge. “Do I need to put you to bed, DiNozzo?”
Quickly yielding to his Boss’ threat, Tony reluctantly climbed into the other side of the bed with a strangled hiss as he carefully respected the invisible halfway mark.
Gibbs, however, would have none of that. “Come ‘ere,” he urged. “I know you don’t want to lie on your back; get comfortable.” He reached over, snaking an arm behind Tony’s shoulders and drawing his senior field agent towards him as he scooted closer. He felt Tony momentarily stiffen before rolling into his usual position on his side up against him.
“Sorry, Boss.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry, it’s a sign of weakness.”
“And this isn’t?”
“Nope. Besides, there’s nothing to be sorry about. If you ever need anything, Tony, I want you to ask for it. We’re here for ya.”
Resignedly nestling his head on Gibbs’s chest, Tony sighed softly before muttering hoarsely, “My name is Anthony DiNozzo, I’m a federal agent who carries a gun, hunts down bad guys and has to share a bed with his boss to sleep.” His hand flew up to the soft tap. “Ow! Hey, injured man here! I’m tellin’ Ducky!”
“Tony, get some sleep.”
“I bet you’d rather be sleeping under your boat than me,” Tony scoffed self-consciously.
“I don’t keep my boats, DiNozzo,” came the gruff reply.
“Boss?”
“Yeah?”
“Does it ever get better?”
“Yeah, in time.”
“How?”
“Everyone’s different but ya gotta work your way through it. Learn to count on your friends. Let it out when you have to.”
“DiNozzos don’t cry,” Tony protested
Gibbs’ arm tightened around Tony. “Maybe. But Gibbs do.”
Tony fell silent. “I wish I was a Gibbs.”
“You are, DiNozzo, you are… Go to sleep.”
Gibbs lay quietly as Tony shifted and settled before drifting off to sleep snuggled deep against his boss. With one arm around Tony, Gibbs sighed deeply as he watched the ceiling fan twirl over his head, ticking off the minutes. Before he knew it, he found his free hand drifting as it often did towards his belt where it lay coiled on the nightstand. Trying to not jostle his slumbering agent, Gibbs slipped two fingers into the small pocket secreted in the back seam, withdrawing a well-worn piece of paper.
‘Merry Christmas, Boss!
Ever since that crazy day in Baltimore, you’ve been on my six and there’s absolutely no one else I’d rather have there. You taught me what Semper fi really means not by your words but by your example. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Hoo-rah!
Tony’
END