(no subject)
Daughter to Father
I am crying a part of me's dying
and these are the confessions
of a broken heart
So things are just .... idk right now. I can't stand him but I hate the fact that I can't stand him. I dont believe him even tho he says none of it's true. it doesn't matter tho, he shouldn't have been even talking about that, thats so wrong. and thats just disgusting that he had sex with that girl. I hate seeing them coz I wanna just like punch him and make him hurt coz thats what hes doing to me. But I guess he's happy. I just can't be right now coz I have nothing to be happy about. Everything sucks, no matter how much I try to get over everything, something else happens and it just makes it even worse. So I walk around looking pitiful and thats pretty much how I feel. Its just like nothing is working, honestly I would love to be with Alvin. hes just so amazing, Idk why im so special to him but it makes me feel so great for once and I know hes not gonna screw me over like other people did. Its just like a lost cause tho. Because He might not be here that much over the summer coz hes travling, and if he decides to go with his sister to Missouri for school next year, hes moving out and hes gonna be gone. jeez why can't he be younger! Like I would love to see whats it like to be with him, but instead I only get a few chances to even see him so I know it would be really hard. Oh well tho. Idk I guess IM gonna be alone for a while, coz Im gonna have a really hard time letting someone in my life because of everything that's happened. I guess its better to be more careful coz I really didn't think much last year. I did a lot of VERY stupid things. But I've learned from them so Im better now than I was before. But I still FEEL like shit. I can't be happy even when I try and I don't know why. I don't even care anymore...but I do care? Idk . Its pretty stupid how I still care about someone that hurt me in more ways I knew were even possible. WOW. I guess love is something u shouldn't mess with. Idk why he would do that stuff to me coz I dont deserve it I never did anything to him, but its ok. I don't wanna be mean but I wish he could feel the pain that Im feeling, i dont think he has any idea what he does to me.