Thoughts...
I can’t sleep tonight, and I’m not sure why. I don’t have to work tomorrow, but I do have to go in to Lone Star for a bar meeting at 11:00 am. I hate having to get up in the morning on my day off, nonetheless I think I am going to use my time wisely and go to the secretary of state, while I am in Brighton. I have to update my license picture and plate numbers, because I turn 21 on Friday (it costs a lot of fucking money, but I gotta get it done). My fantasy team won again this week, as crazy as that sounds! I am extremely excited about doing so well, yet I am not going to get a big head, because we have a lot of the season left, and it could turn around pretty quickly. For now I am just going to hope for the best and keep having fun with the whole thing. I got to spend time with April today, which was nice. She stayed for dinner with my family and then we watched football together. I was surprised she actually showed interest in what was going on in the game. I am sure it was more showing interest in what I was doing than actually caring about football; however, it was very nice to cuddle with her and talk to her about the sport. (I love you, pretty girl.) Also, my Dad and I got farther on my car this weekend. We got the replacement bumper attached and almost completed all of the bodywork. It shouldn’t be long until I can get it painted and sell it. I am hoping to get to it this week, while I am off of school. On a down note, my Aunt and Grandfather stopped by to have my Dad sign some papers. To make a long story short, my father ended up feeling very sad and unappreciated by his family once again. As it turns out he is probably getting little to nothing from his father when he passes away. Not that anyone wants my grandpa to die, but it has been known for a while that he favors my Aunt over everyone else, and now we find out that she really will get everything. It’s hard to explain, but it really has become evident that my Dad has been treated unfairly for quite some time, if not his whole life. Joyce said some out of line things regarding my Grandmother, after my Grandpa and Aunt left, which kind of bothered me. I understand her hurt feelings for my Father, but I don’t think she considers the divorce a large enough factor when it comes to our family situation. I think it affected my Grandparents idea of my father, and made a bad situation worse all those years ago, and still stands in my Grandpas mind today. I could be wrong, but I’ll probably never know. I don’t know how to feel about it all. I love my Dad very much. I think he has done a lot of good in his life. On the other side he has made a lot of mistakes too, and I don’t feel like he really remembers all of the pain and suffering that was caused and will always be there in some form or another, due to him leaving my Mom. I love my Grandpa too, and I want to respect his choices on this matter, but I don’t think I can, even when I do look back at all the negativity caused by the divorce. He should love his son (my Dad) no matter what, and still treat all of his kids equally. This all goes way too deep to really explain in a journal entry, and this already has gone on too long. At the very least, I guess I figured out why I couldn’t sleep. All of this family shit running through your head really makes it hard, ya know? Well, I am gonna go catch an infomercial or two and try to get some shut eye. Until next time, sayonara.