(no subject)
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! (at the last possible minute)
Whoa, so 1 down, 7 (or so) to go. I feel obligated to write some about my first semester, yet I really don't know where to start. Currently I'm sitting at the "computer workstation" in my room, writing this on my slow desktop while chatting on AIM and going about the process of creating a playlist on my laptop right next to me. Oh, the joy and confusion of using two cordless mice, mixing them up constantly, the like. Ah, and my laptop is also giving me bad news with its current virus/adware scan. Looks like I have some cleaning up to do; yet, it's not like I really go anywhere crazy on my laptop (yea don't get any ideas dudes)! Boo.
But that aside, in about 24 hours I'll be in line to board a Singapore Airlines flight to Hong Kong. Perhaps, as such, you realize my eagerness to update all of a sudden. I come back in two weeks, and by then I will have forgotten most of my developed thoughts on this semester. Well, that isn't to say I haven't forgotten quite a bit already, as my semester ended about 10 days ago. What can I say, procrastination is my job/habit/addiction. I mean, just look at the time at which I wished everyone a Merry Christmas in this entry.
Oh man, talk about writer's block. If you've ever read the book "If on a Winter's Night a Traveler" by Italo Calvino, you'd understand what it means to have some serious writer's block. I had to read that book for Rhetoric this semester; definitely enjoyed it, though sometimes it did become a bit frustrating. Calvino is an author who can seriously mess with the reader, but I learned to appreciate his book and his insanely awesome story-telling ability. My GSI said that the novel was a result of Calvino having massive writer's block, unable to do anything but begin stories. And, as legend has it, he realized the need to publish one day, and thus he tied it all together via...well you'll have to read the book for yourself to find out, yea?
So it's winter break, and I sound so excited. I really am on the inside - not everyone gets to go to Hong Kong, which, in my opinion, is the coolest place across the ocean - but I always try to maintain a calm composure with all that I do. Maybe it's fear, the fear of not having my own expectations met, the fear of such disappointment, a feeling not forgotten from the past. But then again, maybe it's the fact that I don't wanna admit how much I really love shopping. :-P
Yet, speaking of shopping, here's a good segue...shopping is really cool. It's so exciting going through loads of new stuff and picking out what works and what doesnt, then filtering it down by price and practicality, then making that final decision. I don't know; for me that process is uber-rewarding (oh my gosh i sound like such a loser, i'm gonna stop soon, i swear) but I can never shop for others. My pickiness just can't handle thinking about that extra constraint: whether the person for whom I am shopping will actually like what I buy. I mean, I would never buy something for someone else that I do not like, but that is a requirement hard enough to satisfy, so it almost becomes a pain for my brain to process any more.
Alright, so now that song "Accidentally in Love" is done playing, I can move on to something a little more meaningful than why shopping is so darn sweet, almost kinda. The holiday season is a time for giving, yea? Yet this year, as I was approached for the first time in a few, I hesitated to participate in a Secret Santa (okay, "Clandestine Non-Denominational Gift Giver") thingie that involved a few people that have truly become, as I would say it, "a part of my puzzle." Berkeley being so large and all, finding a close group of friends to associate with is key to survival, and for me I was lucky: they all live in the same suite. My hesitation was not uncalled for; as outlined above in my discussion of my issues as a shopaholic and whatnot. But I guess I missed the point of giving. It seriously was not until after I had shopped - I got lucky this time, I found the right gift in 20 minutes - that I understood the ultimate purpose behind giving gifts as a Secret Santa (or "uh okay, no, i'm not typing that out again"). The proverb holds; it really is the thought that counts. Hell, I haven't received my gift yet, but I don't feel like anything is missing from my life; I guess I've gained as a result of giving.
Hmm, well please don't assume that I never gave because I felt I deserved something in return; like, whoa i'm not that un-dimensionally heartless. I was more just outlining my revelation, my overcoming of the S-S ("...") ordeal. w00t. In the end, it was a process that redefined my expectations and previous impressions.
Speaking of impressions (wow, another smooth segue...), this past semester at Cal I have learned a lot. However it was more than the initial expectation of academic rigor, the insanity of professors, cuteness of girls, no no no no - more on all that later. I learned, by living with peers for the first time, the difference between making a good first impression and really becoming a friend. Living in a high school community where impressions are etched in stone over a large number of years led to this slightly startling realization about 2/3 of the way through the semester. I mean, to paraphrase Miss Ames Kwong, who was paraphrasing Miz DebZ Dab, we all seem to go back home and fit into the role we have always played amongst our friends. (AJK) [<==proper MLA?]
On a tangent, perhaps that is why my friends have not changed much at all coming home from their respective first terms. Just look at our Lunch Quattro (yea, I just made that up): Noah still so cynical genius, Dan still so white male Conservative, Brad still so fly for a white guy, I'm still the clowning Token Asian. I mean, we're all the same with each other, no matter how much we've grown. Granted, it has only been the few months, but it took less than that (a week to be exact) for some to flip 180 degrees and party every week like there's no tomorrow. Can't blame them, right?
Anyway back to the point (wow, I'm almost like Calvino, jumping from one thing to another): impressions and really getting to know someone can also be entirely different concepts. A good first impression is important, but you can really only do so much to put up an act. I know I met some people during the first few weeks; they seemed so cool, great to be around, fun to talk to and do stuff with. Then two months later, WHAMMIE, you just wonder what happened to the dude u met at Welcome Week. Surely, the change has been gradual, but the final result is a mess that needs to be reckoned with. And to finish my complaining, I have also seen other peoples' insincerity almost bleed completely through their actions. Honestly, I can tell the people think they are "the shit," while they act as if everyone else is better. Okay, hypocrite warning...guilty as charged...but only in some cases, because you can't think possibly believe that there isn't anyone better. There always is. And this really is not about the "oh I got an A-freaking-minus" that I know I often display. It's different. But anyway, I think I'll leave this topic slash realization as it is for now; I almost feel as if I am putting quality people down, a process whose honor I do not deserve.
In Berkeley, I learn from people, almost more than I learn in the classes I sleep through. Haha. I really cherish that 1-on-1 time with someone, anyone, just laughing, talking, thinking, sorting things out, (dealing with and figuring out those boy problems, cuddling...j/k goodnite!) the like. Perhaps, for me, it is a way of staying in touch with all the gossip and lives of everyone without having to venture outside my room. Sure, I lose sleep doing what I try to do, but I figure sleeping is what class is for, anyway. :-P
Well, knowing me, talking about grades is inevitable in this entry. Short of announcing to the entire world (I'm even trying to avoid telling my parents, but you know how successful that ploy is gonna be) the GPA turnout of this first semester, this semester was very fair, perhaps luck was also in my favor. With a class schedule consisting of physics, math, psychology, and rhetoric, I came into the semester realizing that nothing would be handed to me. Actually, that almost goes without saying here at Berkeley, but my mom definitely drilled it further into my head. I daresay that she did the smart thing too; without her urging me to study more whenever we spoke on the phone, I just might have turned out a replay of my first semester of senior year, in which I suffered as a result of being truly and brutally stupid.
I made the first mistake of blowing off psych 2 during the first midterm season. It was just an elective class, fulfilling a breadth requirement, easy overview, that kind of thing. So getting a C on the first midterm was a rude awakening that I paid for, having to change the class to a Pass/Not Pass so as to not compromise my GPA. It was a smart move too; I ended up getting my lowest grade in that class.
As for everything else, the grading was very fair. I hated Rhetoric as a class, though I probably learned more about writing and critical reading in that class than I ever will. And it was not just critical reading of prose and argumentative passages; Rhetoric introduced a new way of seeing arguments, in the general sense of the word, that will forever affect the way I perceive advertisements, media productions, short stories, and, of course, prose in general. Anyway, in the end I figure I deserved the grade I got, given how I hardly participated in class or online on Blackboard, and how my final papers were often rushed night-before jobs. I seriously overslept the class on the day the first draft of our final papers were due because I finished writing at 6am, groggily forgot to set an alarm, and woke up at 930 for the 9am class. Aiya; luckily that draft was not for a grade or anything. I suppose if I had spent some more time for this class I could have improved my grade, but it's all good for now.
Math and physics...hmmm. I learned a lot in physics, though I did manage to fry the final like no other. Something must have been wrong that day, but I definitely did a terrible job on about half the problems, overlooking things and forgetting key concepts. Maybe I was not familiar enough with it all, even though it all seems to make sense now. Looking back, I really sucked on that final - just pathetic. No tragedy, though, I was lucky enough to hold my grade.
Math is the class I am most proud of. Perhaps, having not taken math for an entire year, I felt the need to work extra hard to catch up and practice like crazy, which I did. As an intended math major, I wanted to prove I could handle Cal math. And wow, investing probably 1/3 of my study time to math showed rewarding results. I'll try to keep it up next semester, but the courseload might prevent it; we'll see though.
Thus, the final analogy, or correlation, whatever: more time spent => higher grade. In order of time spent for each class: Math, Physics, Rhetoric, Psychology. Gradewise, the order also follows from high to low. Berkeley is a fair, level playing ground. I'm not really blessed with the greatest intelligence, so I resort to working hard for my grades. (So, umm, yay?)
Gosh, I know there is more to talk about, but I cannot quite put my finger on it. It has been really nice coming home for a month post-finals and such. I remember Northgate's winter break - two weeks nearing the end of the semester - was always good for catching up with classes that I constantly sleep through in preparation for finals. But Berkeley forced me to bear down and tough out finals before setting me free for a full month. w00t.
Yet, coming home is not what it used to be. The beginning of the semester, coming home felt so NICE, such a relief. But now that I have gotten more used to the life at Cal, gotten to know more friends at Cal, and gotten to live with most of my possessions at Cal, returning 'home' is no longer as exciting. I will always call it home, because it is where my parents are, my place of primary residence for the past 13 years, but soon, home is really going to be wherever I spend the most time living my life. (B-West) <=== MLA format again =)
It has been a quiet break. The rain has kept me from riding, making me fatter and less and less in shape. I took two weeks off because of illness and finals, and now it has been another week off because of weather. Gosh I can hardly make it up to the Ranch anymore. I tried recently, and the lowered handlebar and inverted stem, which dropped my handlebar height about three inches, hurts my back. It'll take some time getting used to.
Next semester my bike is coming with me to Berkeley. I've decided to not race for another year. On Thanksgiving I screwed up turning a downhill corner and crashed my bike on Mt. Diablo. Talk about road rash for the first time. I have finally been initiated into the world of cycling, at the price of a scar on my legs and a rude mental awakening. I figure I need more group riding and bike handling experience before jumping into races; there'll be plenty of time for that later. But for the next year I think I am going to train for endurance on my bike. I would like to come into next spring ready to work on speed and stuff like that. But hopefully by the end of this summer I can make 300-400 miles per week; that should give me a good riding foundation.
Gosh, I just checked on Microsoft Word with this entry, and I'm at 2500 words. Wooh, longer than any essay I've written this semester. Time to call this baby quits. And seriously, if you have read this far - I could give you a hug or something. I mean, this is really a place for me to sort my thoughts out (there are more, i bet, but for some other time), not exactly primed for reading pleasure. But hey...whatever makes you happy. I figure it would just be nice to write down a "short" reflection of the semester, the month, whatever I have time and inspiration for.
So hmmm, ending this entry is as hard as ending a phone conversation. (Aiya, what to do?) Well, thanks for reading all this; I hope you didn't get too bored. Please leave a comment if you so choose to. Hope y'all had a very merry christmas, and seeing as to how I will not be updating until I come home from Hong Kong,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May the rest of your holiday season be filled with warmth and cheer. Thanks for always being there for me, 'tis much appreciated.
Ah yes-
peace, love, airplane grease
-Still A Sentimental Stepho
Whoa, so 1 down, 7 (or so) to go. I feel obligated to write some about my first semester, yet I really don't know where to start. Currently I'm sitting at the "computer workstation" in my room, writing this on my slow desktop while chatting on AIM and going about the process of creating a playlist on my laptop right next to me. Oh, the joy and confusion of using two cordless mice, mixing them up constantly, the like. Ah, and my laptop is also giving me bad news with its current virus/adware scan. Looks like I have some cleaning up to do; yet, it's not like I really go anywhere crazy on my laptop (yea don't get any ideas dudes)! Boo.
But that aside, in about 24 hours I'll be in line to board a Singapore Airlines flight to Hong Kong. Perhaps, as such, you realize my eagerness to update all of a sudden. I come back in two weeks, and by then I will have forgotten most of my developed thoughts on this semester. Well, that isn't to say I haven't forgotten quite a bit already, as my semester ended about 10 days ago. What can I say, procrastination is my job/habit/addiction. I mean, just look at the time at which I wished everyone a Merry Christmas in this entry.
Oh man, talk about writer's block. If you've ever read the book "If on a Winter's Night a Traveler" by Italo Calvino, you'd understand what it means to have some serious writer's block. I had to read that book for Rhetoric this semester; definitely enjoyed it, though sometimes it did become a bit frustrating. Calvino is an author who can seriously mess with the reader, but I learned to appreciate his book and his insanely awesome story-telling ability. My GSI said that the novel was a result of Calvino having massive writer's block, unable to do anything but begin stories. And, as legend has it, he realized the need to publish one day, and thus he tied it all together via...well you'll have to read the book for yourself to find out, yea?
So it's winter break, and I sound so excited. I really am on the inside - not everyone gets to go to Hong Kong, which, in my opinion, is the coolest place across the ocean - but I always try to maintain a calm composure with all that I do. Maybe it's fear, the fear of not having my own expectations met, the fear of such disappointment, a feeling not forgotten from the past. But then again, maybe it's the fact that I don't wanna admit how much I really love shopping. :-P
Yet, speaking of shopping, here's a good segue...shopping is really cool. It's so exciting going through loads of new stuff and picking out what works and what doesnt, then filtering it down by price and practicality, then making that final decision. I don't know; for me that process is uber-rewarding (oh my gosh i sound like such a loser, i'm gonna stop soon, i swear) but I can never shop for others. My pickiness just can't handle thinking about that extra constraint: whether the person for whom I am shopping will actually like what I buy. I mean, I would never buy something for someone else that I do not like, but that is a requirement hard enough to satisfy, so it almost becomes a pain for my brain to process any more.
Alright, so now that song "Accidentally in Love" is done playing, I can move on to something a little more meaningful than why shopping is so darn sweet, almost kinda. The holiday season is a time for giving, yea? Yet this year, as I was approached for the first time in a few, I hesitated to participate in a Secret Santa (okay, "Clandestine Non-Denominational Gift Giver") thingie that involved a few people that have truly become, as I would say it, "a part of my puzzle." Berkeley being so large and all, finding a close group of friends to associate with is key to survival, and for me I was lucky: they all live in the same suite. My hesitation was not uncalled for; as outlined above in my discussion of my issues as a shopaholic and whatnot. But I guess I missed the point of giving. It seriously was not until after I had shopped - I got lucky this time, I found the right gift in 20 minutes - that I understood the ultimate purpose behind giving gifts as a Secret Santa (or "uh okay, no, i'm not typing that out again"). The proverb holds; it really is the thought that counts. Hell, I haven't received my gift yet, but I don't feel like anything is missing from my life; I guess I've gained as a result of giving.
Hmm, well please don't assume that I never gave because I felt I deserved something in return; like, whoa i'm not that un-dimensionally heartless. I was more just outlining my revelation, my overcoming of the S-S ("...") ordeal. w00t. In the end, it was a process that redefined my expectations and previous impressions.
Speaking of impressions (wow, another smooth segue...), this past semester at Cal I have learned a lot. However it was more than the initial expectation of academic rigor, the insanity of professors, cuteness of girls, no no no no - more on all that later. I learned, by living with peers for the first time, the difference between making a good first impression and really becoming a friend. Living in a high school community where impressions are etched in stone over a large number of years led to this slightly startling realization about 2/3 of the way through the semester. I mean, to paraphrase Miss Ames Kwong, who was paraphrasing Miz DebZ Dab, we all seem to go back home and fit into the role we have always played amongst our friends. (AJK) [<==proper MLA?]
On a tangent, perhaps that is why my friends have not changed much at all coming home from their respective first terms. Just look at our Lunch Quattro (yea, I just made that up): Noah still so cynical genius, Dan still so white male Conservative, Brad still so fly for a white guy, I'm still the clowning Token Asian. I mean, we're all the same with each other, no matter how much we've grown. Granted, it has only been the few months, but it took less than that (a week to be exact) for some to flip 180 degrees and party every week like there's no tomorrow. Can't blame them, right?
Anyway back to the point (wow, I'm almost like Calvino, jumping from one thing to another): impressions and really getting to know someone can also be entirely different concepts. A good first impression is important, but you can really only do so much to put up an act. I know I met some people during the first few weeks; they seemed so cool, great to be around, fun to talk to and do stuff with. Then two months later, WHAMMIE, you just wonder what happened to the dude u met at Welcome Week. Surely, the change has been gradual, but the final result is a mess that needs to be reckoned with. And to finish my complaining, I have also seen other peoples' insincerity almost bleed completely through their actions. Honestly, I can tell the people think they are "the shit," while they act as if everyone else is better. Okay, hypocrite warning...guilty as charged...but only in some cases, because you can't think possibly believe that there isn't anyone better. There always is. And this really is not about the "oh I got an A-freaking-minus" that I know I often display. It's different. But anyway, I think I'll leave this topic slash realization as it is for now; I almost feel as if I am putting quality people down, a process whose honor I do not deserve.
In Berkeley, I learn from people, almost more than I learn in the classes I sleep through. Haha. I really cherish that 1-on-1 time with someone, anyone, just laughing, talking, thinking, sorting things out, (dealing with and figuring out those boy problems, cuddling...j/k goodnite!) the like. Perhaps, for me, it is a way of staying in touch with all the gossip and lives of everyone without having to venture outside my room. Sure, I lose sleep doing what I try to do, but I figure sleeping is what class is for, anyway. :-P
Well, knowing me, talking about grades is inevitable in this entry. Short of announcing to the entire world (I'm even trying to avoid telling my parents, but you know how successful that ploy is gonna be) the GPA turnout of this first semester, this semester was very fair, perhaps luck was also in my favor. With a class schedule consisting of physics, math, psychology, and rhetoric, I came into the semester realizing that nothing would be handed to me. Actually, that almost goes without saying here at Berkeley, but my mom definitely drilled it further into my head. I daresay that she did the smart thing too; without her urging me to study more whenever we spoke on the phone, I just might have turned out a replay of my first semester of senior year, in which I suffered as a result of being truly and brutally stupid.
I made the first mistake of blowing off psych 2 during the first midterm season. It was just an elective class, fulfilling a breadth requirement, easy overview, that kind of thing. So getting a C on the first midterm was a rude awakening that I paid for, having to change the class to a Pass/Not Pass so as to not compromise my GPA. It was a smart move too; I ended up getting my lowest grade in that class.
As for everything else, the grading was very fair. I hated Rhetoric as a class, though I probably learned more about writing and critical reading in that class than I ever will. And it was not just critical reading of prose and argumentative passages; Rhetoric introduced a new way of seeing arguments, in the general sense of the word, that will forever affect the way I perceive advertisements, media productions, short stories, and, of course, prose in general. Anyway, in the end I figure I deserved the grade I got, given how I hardly participated in class or online on Blackboard, and how my final papers were often rushed night-before jobs. I seriously overslept the class on the day the first draft of our final papers were due because I finished writing at 6am, groggily forgot to set an alarm, and woke up at 930 for the 9am class. Aiya; luckily that draft was not for a grade or anything. I suppose if I had spent some more time for this class I could have improved my grade, but it's all good for now.
Math and physics...hmmm. I learned a lot in physics, though I did manage to fry the final like no other. Something must have been wrong that day, but I definitely did a terrible job on about half the problems, overlooking things and forgetting key concepts. Maybe I was not familiar enough with it all, even though it all seems to make sense now. Looking back, I really sucked on that final - just pathetic. No tragedy, though, I was lucky enough to hold my grade.
Math is the class I am most proud of. Perhaps, having not taken math for an entire year, I felt the need to work extra hard to catch up and practice like crazy, which I did. As an intended math major, I wanted to prove I could handle Cal math. And wow, investing probably 1/3 of my study time to math showed rewarding results. I'll try to keep it up next semester, but the courseload might prevent it; we'll see though.
Thus, the final analogy, or correlation, whatever: more time spent => higher grade. In order of time spent for each class: Math, Physics, Rhetoric, Psychology. Gradewise, the order also follows from high to low. Berkeley is a fair, level playing ground. I'm not really blessed with the greatest intelligence, so I resort to working hard for my grades. (So, umm, yay?)
Gosh, I know there is more to talk about, but I cannot quite put my finger on it. It has been really nice coming home for a month post-finals and such. I remember Northgate's winter break - two weeks nearing the end of the semester - was always good for catching up with classes that I constantly sleep through in preparation for finals. But Berkeley forced me to bear down and tough out finals before setting me free for a full month. w00t.
Yet, coming home is not what it used to be. The beginning of the semester, coming home felt so NICE, such a relief. But now that I have gotten more used to the life at Cal, gotten to know more friends at Cal, and gotten to live with most of my possessions at Cal, returning 'home' is no longer as exciting. I will always call it home, because it is where my parents are, my place of primary residence for the past 13 years, but soon, home is really going to be wherever I spend the most time living my life. (B-West) <=== MLA format again =)
It has been a quiet break. The rain has kept me from riding, making me fatter and less and less in shape. I took two weeks off because of illness and finals, and now it has been another week off because of weather. Gosh I can hardly make it up to the Ranch anymore. I tried recently, and the lowered handlebar and inverted stem, which dropped my handlebar height about three inches, hurts my back. It'll take some time getting used to.
Next semester my bike is coming with me to Berkeley. I've decided to not race for another year. On Thanksgiving I screwed up turning a downhill corner and crashed my bike on Mt. Diablo. Talk about road rash for the first time. I have finally been initiated into the world of cycling, at the price of a scar on my legs and a rude mental awakening. I figure I need more group riding and bike handling experience before jumping into races; there'll be plenty of time for that later. But for the next year I think I am going to train for endurance on my bike. I would like to come into next spring ready to work on speed and stuff like that. But hopefully by the end of this summer I can make 300-400 miles per week; that should give me a good riding foundation.
Gosh, I just checked on Microsoft Word with this entry, and I'm at 2500 words. Wooh, longer than any essay I've written this semester. Time to call this baby quits. And seriously, if you have read this far - I could give you a hug or something. I mean, this is really a place for me to sort my thoughts out (there are more, i bet, but for some other time), not exactly primed for reading pleasure. But hey...whatever makes you happy. I figure it would just be nice to write down a "short" reflection of the semester, the month, whatever I have time and inspiration for.
So hmmm, ending this entry is as hard as ending a phone conversation. (Aiya, what to do?) Well, thanks for reading all this; I hope you didn't get too bored. Please leave a comment if you so choose to. Hope y'all had a very merry christmas, and seeing as to how I will not be updating until I come home from Hong Kong,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May the rest of your holiday season be filled with warmth and cheer. Thanks for always being there for me, 'tis much appreciated.
Ah yes-
peace, love, airplane grease
-Still A Sentimental Stepho