venting session part 1
three words: stressed, worried, and overwhelmed.
school for one has been worrying me. finding out my grade in cal, made me happy. but finding out my grade in chem made me sad. but i hav no one to blame but myself because I KNOW if i put even a fraction of effort into my studies, i could be acing that class but instead, i let my apathy control me. and now im facing the consequences. i basically have to rape my final exam to get a decent enough grade but luckily i talked to my professor [which i hate to do cause i get scared for only GOD knows why] and he told me he curves the final grade. so as long as i put my best foot forward for the next few weeks, im goin to be okay. june 1st is my cal final. june 6th is my chem final. i hav time. as long as i believe in myself and find motivation in just that, i know everything will be okay. its better to keep optimistic when facing adversity. eh. i cant let ONE class fcuk me over especially when im so close to finally goin to my dream school. i cant and WONT let that happen. fierce determination is key to all this. i gotta just keep tellin myself that i could do it. damn personal pep talks lol.
at first, i considered going to berkeley and ive weighed my pros and cons and know that my heart is in LA. i havent sent my sir yet, but i will soon. and im planning to get an off-campus studio/apt that la offers, so kids VISIT ME =D. ah, i cant believe im finally doing this. after all these years of running, im finally running in the right direction.
its weird how quickly my emotions can fluctuate.
all i know is that im entitled to my feelings and maybe its time just to own up to them.
i was in vegas this weekend and there was a visiting priest at this church i went to and he said.
love never forces, it only invites.
word.
so DESPITE the overwhelming feelings & stressful nights, i hav to keep in my zone that everything will work out in the end. it eventually does. okays loves u bye!
school for one has been worrying me. finding out my grade in cal, made me happy. but finding out my grade in chem made me sad. but i hav no one to blame but myself because I KNOW if i put even a fraction of effort into my studies, i could be acing that class but instead, i let my apathy control me. and now im facing the consequences. i basically have to rape my final exam to get a decent enough grade but luckily i talked to my professor [which i hate to do cause i get scared for only GOD knows why] and he told me he curves the final grade. so as long as i put my best foot forward for the next few weeks, im goin to be okay. june 1st is my cal final. june 6th is my chem final. i hav time. as long as i believe in myself and find motivation in just that, i know everything will be okay. its better to keep optimistic when facing adversity. eh. i cant let ONE class fcuk me over especially when im so close to finally goin to my dream school. i cant and WONT let that happen. fierce determination is key to all this. i gotta just keep tellin myself that i could do it. damn personal pep talks lol.
at first, i considered going to berkeley and ive weighed my pros and cons and know that my heart is in LA. i havent sent my sir yet, but i will soon. and im planning to get an off-campus studio/apt that la offers, so kids VISIT ME =D. ah, i cant believe im finally doing this. after all these years of running, im finally running in the right direction.
its weird how quickly my emotions can fluctuate.
all i know is that im entitled to my feelings and maybe its time just to own up to them.
i was in vegas this weekend and there was a visiting priest at this church i went to and he said.
love never forces, it only invites.
word.
so DESPITE the overwhelming feelings & stressful nights, i hav to keep in my zone that everything will work out in the end. it eventually does. okays loves u bye!