MAYBE I CAN SELL YOU GUYS SANDWICHES OR I CAN BREED LLAMAS OR SOMETHING!!!

[himynameischris]

DEAR FRIENDS,

MY SUMMER WAS GREAT, HOW WAS YOURS? I WENT TO MY COLLEGE ORIENTATION AND THERE WAS ALOT OF FUN TO BE HAD!!!

THEN I WENT TO THIS BARBEQUE WITH BRITTANY AND THERE WAS 3000 PEOPLE THERE!!!

I LIKE COLLEGE BUT I WISH MY FRIENDS COULD COME TOO!!! I ASKED SAM TO COME CHECK IT OUT BUT HE WOULD RATHER SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE CARVING ICE SCULPTURES FOR GAY WEDDINGS. SERIOUSLY, ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU HIS "TOOLS"!!!

SAM HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW, WHICH BASICALLY MEANS HES BETTER THAN ME EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND TOO!!! THATS WHY IM GOING TO IMITATE MY FAVORITE INSPIRATIONAL MOVIE "SAVING SILVERMAN" AND IM GOING TO KIDNAP SAM TO SAVE HIM!!!

BRITTANY GOT HER TEETH CLEANED!!!

I WORK AT A GYM!!!

I NEED MORE MONEY, COULD YOU ALL DONATE LIKE A DOLLAR TO ME BECAUSE BRITTANY IS A GOLD DIGGER AND SAYS SHE'LL DUMP ME IF I DON'T BUY HER A LOUIS VUITTON BAG OR WHATEVER!!! SERIOUSLY SHE MADE ME TAKE HER SHOPPING AT HOLLISTER THE OTHER DAY, AND SHE SPENT LIKE 400 DOLLARS!!!

SERIOUSLY THOUGH SEND ME THOSE DOLLARS!!!

I'M STARVING!!!