Transcript: Barney apologises to Robin (repeatedly)
This happened after Barney posted a kind of "suck it Robin" status on Facebook, having reached his 1,500 friends milestone.
Secondmezzanine is the one who tries to be patient.
I am the one who can do nothing right.
Friendship, friendship, that's the perfect blendship
Between Robin Scherbatsky and You
Barney Stinson
So, sorry about the whole friend-thing on facebook. It's just we used to joke about that stuff, you know? And get real competative. I guess sometimes I forget... everything. And what an ass I can be.
Anyway, been having a pretty crappy week. Just thought I'd say hi.
Or something.
B.
Robin Scherbatsky
Eh, it's all right. I've always just assumed that when you're over at some girl's place, you sneak on her computer and make her friend you on Facebook, and that's how you have so many friends. It's the only explanation really.
My week has been sucking too. Work's not bad but stressful enough. Little things keep happening. Like how I lost that keychain you brought back for me from Greece. The chain's still there, I just looked down and the glass charm had just broken off and it was just... gone. I'm not even sure where to look for it anymore.
Anyway feel free to say hi again, if you want.
Robin
Barney Stinson
Wow, Robin. How did you know? That's exactly what I do. Except, wait up, how come so many of my "friends" (aka minions) are dudes? What am I doing wrong here? ;-)
They should have a "minion" button on Facebook. Remind me to suggest it.
Hey! That sucks about the keychain. You realize that was, like, 100% authentic greek glass, hand rolled by some dude with way too many muscles. I should I packaged him up and sent him to you. then he could have made you a bunch o' them.
Still, there are other keychains. And more awesome stuff. Like, did you ever get that thing in the mail from me? Or did some spanish dude with a hockey fixation steal it?
B.
PS Hi.
Robin Scherbatsky
Dude, it's not like you've never hit a guy before. Come on, Barney. You think I forgot about that?
Anyway. DUDE. That package came in the mail today. And I can't BELIEVE you did that for me. Do you even realize what this autograph is worth down here? (Yeah, I know. For people in such a hot climate right now, they sure as hell have a weird knowledge of Canadian sports.) Not that I'd sell it. I just... can't believe you sent this stuff to me. But-- enough of that. Thanks, Barney. :)
Barney Stinson
Scherbatsky! Have you been pummelling Spanish guys? Tell your uncle Barney all about it.
And it's np. Perks of running the store, I guess. And speaking of perks, I got superbowl tickets from a customer today, so I'm taking Ted. It'll be good to get him out of the city. I kinda worry about my Bro, lately. You know?
B.
Robin Scherbatsky
So what's up with Ted? I mean, he hasn't really told me much of what's going on with him lately, but maybe that's the point. And Barney? Please don't lose all your money on the Superbowl.
And... pummeling Spanish guys? What're you on about?
Barney Stinson
I don't know dude. Marshall and I had the same talk last night. It's just like Ted's really down, all the time, and he can't pull out of it. Like how he was when Stella died? You can kind of see it in his eyes. I don't know, I think he feels it. Marshall and Lil having the baby, and maybe now Heather's moved out? I think it's a bunch of things hitting him at the same time. And that's kinda hence the whole Superbowl thing.
Speaking of gambling- it's not a problem if you're awesome at it, Scherbatsky.
So anyways, me and my Bro are heading down to Florida tonight and are gonna see the game. I got some rad plans and I'm hoping it'll perk him up a bit, ya know?
And hey, you're the one who brought up me hitting guys out of nowhere. I just assumed there's been a rumble in the South American Jungle and you'd been the one bringing the pain.
Just don't get deported, yeah?
B.
P to the S: Bit aw-kward, but I found a bunch of your stuff at my place. Should mail it to you? There's some clothes and some personal- well, just, whatever. Let me know?
Robin Scherbatsky
Wow. I knew Ted was... well, Ted, but I didn't realize it was quite so bad. Hey, maybe I can show him a rockin' time in BA. I'll do my best anyway. Hope you guys have fun.
Oh... my stuff. Ummm... would it be a problem for you to just hang on to it for awhile? I don't really have room here and I feel bad asking Ted to keep it since I'm not there... actually no. No, it's fine. I'll ask Ted if he can keep it.
Deported? Me? Please, been there, done that.
Talk to you soon?
Robin
Barney Stinson
Dude, it's clothes. How can you not have room for a couple of tshirts and a skirt? I'll package it up and mail it. Esp if you're not even coming back here before... well, you know, Valentine's day. When Ted's flying over, I mean.
I know Ted misses you. Marshall was kinda bitching about the whole Superbowl thing and us breaking our tradition of watching it on TV - you know, the old gang sitting and eating wings? But with you so far away? He misses you too, and Lily (especially as you're the only one who ever watches the ads with her). It's weird not having you here telling us all that we're idiots.
So you're really not coming back in a while, huh?
B.
PS - We're in Florida. Ted's even worse than I thought. Maybe the game will cheer him up a little.
Robin Scherbatsky
Okay, so you got me. The idea of you and I doing that whole "here's your breakup stuff" just seemed to... well, suck. But I guess it's better than you having to keep my stuff at your place, so... okay, yeah. Mail it to me. You've got my address.
Barney... the fact that you even MENTIONED Valentine's Day in regards to Ted's visit seems weird to me. Since when has Valentine's Day ever even been on your radar except to nail lonely single chicks drowning their sorrows at the bar?
Please tell me you don't think that Ted and I were thinking about some stupid greeting card holiday when we planned this visit.
I don't know, B. I kind of miss you guys too. Seems like all I do anymore is weigh my options. When I should be weighing hot South American dudes against each other or something. You know I can't even watch the Superbowl down here.
Update me on Florida. What's up with Ted?
Robin
Barney Stinson
Yeah Robin, it sucks. It sucks and what I did to you at Christmas sucked. I know I was horrible. I was frustrated and I totally took it out on you and surprise surprise, I hurt you. If I could take that back, if I could yell at myself two months ago I totally would. But I can't. I was a dick. I still AM a dick.
Fact is, there's an ocean and a continent and a bunch of spanish dudes between us. I haven't spoken to you or seen you in almost two months. And I know you're still super mad at me and I'm not sure we can even BE friends any more after the way I treated you. And THAT sucks more than I can ever tell you.
But I don't think you and Ted are doing the horizontal mambo. I'm just a little pissed that you're taking my Bro away from me during a time when I need someone to distract me from the fact that for yet another year I'm single and Valentines day sucks SO freakin' hard when you're single. Stupid desperation day.
That's the truth.
Still I hope that BA is okay and that weighing your options doesn't mean that things are going south. And enjoy this weekend. Try and cheer Ted up? He's been going through a super rough time.
B.
Secondmezzanine is the one who tries to be patient.
I am the one who can do nothing right.
Friendship, friendship, that's the perfect blendship
Between Robin Scherbatsky and You
Barney Stinson
So, sorry about the whole friend-thing on facebook. It's just we used to joke about that stuff, you know? And get real competative. I guess sometimes I forget... everything. And what an ass I can be.
Anyway, been having a pretty crappy week. Just thought I'd say hi.
Or something.
B.
Robin Scherbatsky
Eh, it's all right. I've always just assumed that when you're over at some girl's place, you sneak on her computer and make her friend you on Facebook, and that's how you have so many friends. It's the only explanation really.
My week has been sucking too. Work's not bad but stressful enough. Little things keep happening. Like how I lost that keychain you brought back for me from Greece. The chain's still there, I just looked down and the glass charm had just broken off and it was just... gone. I'm not even sure where to look for it anymore.
Anyway feel free to say hi again, if you want.
Robin
Barney Stinson
Wow, Robin. How did you know? That's exactly what I do. Except, wait up, how come so many of my "friends" (aka minions) are dudes? What am I doing wrong here? ;-)
They should have a "minion" button on Facebook. Remind me to suggest it.
Hey! That sucks about the keychain. You realize that was, like, 100% authentic greek glass, hand rolled by some dude with way too many muscles. I should I packaged him up and sent him to you. then he could have made you a bunch o' them.
Still, there are other keychains. And more awesome stuff. Like, did you ever get that thing in the mail from me? Or did some spanish dude with a hockey fixation steal it?
B.
PS Hi.
Robin Scherbatsky
Dude, it's not like you've never hit a guy before. Come on, Barney. You think I forgot about that?
Anyway. DUDE. That package came in the mail today. And I can't BELIEVE you did that for me. Do you even realize what this autograph is worth down here? (Yeah, I know. For people in such a hot climate right now, they sure as hell have a weird knowledge of Canadian sports.) Not that I'd sell it. I just... can't believe you sent this stuff to me. But-- enough of that. Thanks, Barney. :)
Barney Stinson
Scherbatsky! Have you been pummelling Spanish guys? Tell your uncle Barney all about it.
And it's np. Perks of running the store, I guess. And speaking of perks, I got superbowl tickets from a customer today, so I'm taking Ted. It'll be good to get him out of the city. I kinda worry about my Bro, lately. You know?
B.
Robin Scherbatsky
So what's up with Ted? I mean, he hasn't really told me much of what's going on with him lately, but maybe that's the point. And Barney? Please don't lose all your money on the Superbowl.
And... pummeling Spanish guys? What're you on about?
Barney Stinson
I don't know dude. Marshall and I had the same talk last night. It's just like Ted's really down, all the time, and he can't pull out of it. Like how he was when Stella died? You can kind of see it in his eyes. I don't know, I think he feels it. Marshall and Lil having the baby, and maybe now Heather's moved out? I think it's a bunch of things hitting him at the same time. And that's kinda hence the whole Superbowl thing.
Speaking of gambling- it's not a problem if you're awesome at it, Scherbatsky.
So anyways, me and my Bro are heading down to Florida tonight and are gonna see the game. I got some rad plans and I'm hoping it'll perk him up a bit, ya know?
And hey, you're the one who brought up me hitting guys out of nowhere. I just assumed there's been a rumble in the South American Jungle and you'd been the one bringing the pain.
Just don't get deported, yeah?
B.
P to the S: Bit aw-kward, but I found a bunch of your stuff at my place. Should mail it to you? There's some clothes and some personal- well, just, whatever. Let me know?
Robin Scherbatsky
Wow. I knew Ted was... well, Ted, but I didn't realize it was quite so bad. Hey, maybe I can show him a rockin' time in BA. I'll do my best anyway. Hope you guys have fun.
Oh... my stuff. Ummm... would it be a problem for you to just hang on to it for awhile? I don't really have room here and I feel bad asking Ted to keep it since I'm not there... actually no. No, it's fine. I'll ask Ted if he can keep it.
Deported? Me? Please, been there, done that.
Talk to you soon?
Robin
Barney Stinson
Dude, it's clothes. How can you not have room for a couple of tshirts and a skirt? I'll package it up and mail it. Esp if you're not even coming back here before... well, you know, Valentine's day. When Ted's flying over, I mean.
I know Ted misses you. Marshall was kinda bitching about the whole Superbowl thing and us breaking our tradition of watching it on TV - you know, the old gang sitting and eating wings? But with you so far away? He misses you too, and Lily (especially as you're the only one who ever watches the ads with her). It's weird not having you here telling us all that we're idiots.
So you're really not coming back in a while, huh?
B.
PS - We're in Florida. Ted's even worse than I thought. Maybe the game will cheer him up a little.
Robin Scherbatsky
Okay, so you got me. The idea of you and I doing that whole "here's your breakup stuff" just seemed to... well, suck. But I guess it's better than you having to keep my stuff at your place, so... okay, yeah. Mail it to me. You've got my address.
Barney... the fact that you even MENTIONED Valentine's Day in regards to Ted's visit seems weird to me. Since when has Valentine's Day ever even been on your radar except to nail lonely single chicks drowning their sorrows at the bar?
Please tell me you don't think that Ted and I were thinking about some stupid greeting card holiday when we planned this visit.
I don't know, B. I kind of miss you guys too. Seems like all I do anymore is weigh my options. When I should be weighing hot South American dudes against each other or something. You know I can't even watch the Superbowl down here.
Update me on Florida. What's up with Ted?
Robin
Barney Stinson
Yeah Robin, it sucks. It sucks and what I did to you at Christmas sucked. I know I was horrible. I was frustrated and I totally took it out on you and surprise surprise, I hurt you. If I could take that back, if I could yell at myself two months ago I totally would. But I can't. I was a dick. I still AM a dick.
Fact is, there's an ocean and a continent and a bunch of spanish dudes between us. I haven't spoken to you or seen you in almost two months. And I know you're still super mad at me and I'm not sure we can even BE friends any more after the way I treated you. And THAT sucks more than I can ever tell you.
But I don't think you and Ted are doing the horizontal mambo. I'm just a little pissed that you're taking my Bro away from me during a time when I need someone to distract me from the fact that for yet another year I'm single and Valentines day sucks SO freakin' hard when you're single. Stupid desperation day.
That's the truth.
Still I hope that BA is okay and that weighing your options doesn't mean that things are going south. And enjoy this weekend. Try and cheer Ted up? He's been going through a super rough time.
B.