bah to it all
Lately I've been hit with so many emotions like one after another, switching after minutes sometimes...what the fuck. Like last saturday, erica's party...got a phone call, had to do some shit and leave to do so...got pissed off because its so damn old..hid in erica's dad's room to be alone then i just needed to leave..inside me i didn't want to see anyone, i couldn't be touched...bob saw me and followed me out and decided to go with me and I said no, slammed him in the car door and he asked me for a kiss and I just looked at him...i couldn't do it...then i just went home and fantasized about the perfect death. what is my fucking problem. i am such a piece of shit anymore. maybe i always was. it just seems like i am becoming more and more useless as a person sometimes. sometimes i am ready to say fuck it, just like aaron and jim, for no good reason other than that's how i feel inside. and when i am ACTUALLY provoked...get out of my brain kids. i am a batty mother fucker anymore. this is getting fucking weird...there are even people who give me nightmares when i am awake.