Comments | himitsunotsuki: "My Kingdom for a Horse"

himitsunotsuki

"My Kingdom for a Horse"

Oct 08, 2009 03:14

Birthday wishes to you, Tezuka. You'll forgive me for not taking you on any whirlwind trips across the country, Keigo might disapprove. I'll have Shishido bring over your rather more unexciting present and a promise not to flirt with you too much while he does it, mm ( Read more... )

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Screened to Oshitari Yuushi awedprowess October 8 2009, 15:49:41 UTC

Yuushi... I assume you followed that?

Screened to Atobe himitsunotsuki October 8 2009, 15:53:53 UTC

I did indeed. The part of it that wasn't in the form of these: ^o^, ;_;, -.- at least.

Screened awedprowess October 8 2009, 15:57:06 UTC

He technically did not utter a word, yet I felt we understood each other for the first time.

Apparently, it transpires that my cardinal sin was not cheating on him, or keeping my version of events short but simply that I did not stay around afterwords.

May I be the first to say that this defies understanding?

Screened himitsunotsuki October 8 2009, 16:08:50 UTC

That is because when you speak you have so many trappings of yourselves neither of you is ever entirely honest.

Why didn't you at least wait for a reaction, Keigo?

Screened awedprowess October 8 2009, 16:12:38 UTC

Perhaps so.

I genuinely did not think he would wish for me to be in his sight... and I also did not want to risk seeing the damage I had caused.

Screened himitsunotsuki October 8 2009, 16:18:09 UTC

And there, I think, is where the problem would lie, mm? You are willing to accept that you erred and in erring hurt him, but if you were not willing to face the consequences, that was rather resigning yourself to defeat, wasn't it?

Screened awedprowess October 8 2009, 16:27:34 UTC

He said I gave up on him. At least, I assume that was his meaning; it lacked a certain clarity... and words.

I could not imagine why he would forgive me. That being so, I thought the only act I could still perform to his liking was to leave.

Perhaps I was too hasty. What is to be done now?

Screened himitsunotsuki October 8 2009, 16:47:49 UTC

Perhaps it's like in a game of tennis when you see a ball that you know is going to go out of bounds and don't give chase, only to find that your judgement was off? You... didn't give chase thinking your actions required none.

You are going to the exhibition he invited you to. Are you willing to fight to keep him now that he has told (and I use this in the loosest sense of the word) you what has bothered him?

Screened awedprowess October 8 2009, 23:59:46 UTC

Except that in that scenario, I would be expecting to gain the point by my lack of actions. It was more I deemed the point unachievable which does not have a good ring to it.

Fighting to keep him rather implies I currently have him. I did think there was no returning from this.

Re: Screened himitsunotsuki October 9 2009, 02:28:33 UTC

And maybe that's where the fault lay? In declaring beforehand that there really was no room for forgiveness?

Perhaps you don't have him, but perhaps you haven't completely lost him, either.

Screened awedprowess October 9 2009, 04:34:13 UTC

Indeed. I admit that it might not have been my decision to make.

Then I will try, Yuushi. That is all I can do.

Screened himitsunotsuki October 9 2009, 04:55:28 UTC

Precisely.

Indeed it is. But I consider it something of a positive or an extremely negative sign that he was as... forthcoming... as he was.

Screened awedprowess October 9 2009, 05:53:57 UTC

It was not expected. We shall wait and see, I suppose.

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