Emo post, beware!
So, I want to go home.
Like REALLY REALLY badly.
For the most part, I love Japan. I really do. I love the trains, I like the food (mostly), I love the language, the television, the music, the fashion, the history, the parks and the city. I really like it.
However, probably my most prominent character feature is how much I value and depend on human contact and relationships. Because of that, Tokyo is a very, very lonely place for me. People here, for the most part, have surface deep friendships and relationships that are all kept in separate social spheres. It drives me insane. Home is kept completely separate from everything else. Then there's the school circle, the work circle, maybe the hometown circle. But these circles rarely overlap with each other.
I'm very samishigariya, or a person who gets lonely/depressed very easily when I'm not around others. So for me, coming home to nothing but my empty dorm room in a dorm full of people who don't like me or who couldn't care less about me, is very disconcerting. And it's like I have to make an appointment or something if I want to see the few friends I have. No one is spontaneous here. I like my residential college campus in America.
And I miss my family and friends. I miss being able to actually answer with 'I feel like crap' when someone asks me 'how are you?' without getting weird, awkward looks.
Maybe I'm just homesick because of the Holidays, whatever. I don't know. I'm just not very happy here, and I want to go back home. I want to be with my parents and my sister and my dogs and my friends who actually care about me.
Like REALLY REALLY badly.
For the most part, I love Japan. I really do. I love the trains, I like the food (mostly), I love the language, the television, the music, the fashion, the history, the parks and the city. I really like it.
However, probably my most prominent character feature is how much I value and depend on human contact and relationships. Because of that, Tokyo is a very, very lonely place for me. People here, for the most part, have surface deep friendships and relationships that are all kept in separate social spheres. It drives me insane. Home is kept completely separate from everything else. Then there's the school circle, the work circle, maybe the hometown circle. But these circles rarely overlap with each other.
I'm very samishigariya, or a person who gets lonely/depressed very easily when I'm not around others. So for me, coming home to nothing but my empty dorm room in a dorm full of people who don't like me or who couldn't care less about me, is very disconcerting. And it's like I have to make an appointment or something if I want to see the few friends I have. No one is spontaneous here. I like my residential college campus in America.
And I miss my family and friends. I miss being able to actually answer with 'I feel like crap' when someone asks me 'how are you?' without getting weird, awkward looks.
Maybe I'm just homesick because of the Holidays, whatever. I don't know. I'm just not very happy here, and I want to go back home. I want to be with my parents and my sister and my dogs and my friends who actually care about me.