From Coals to Flame Part 1/4: Sparks

[cherimorton]

From Coals to Flame: Part One- Sparks

Evie was unsteadily walking down the hallway in her hotel in Sydney, arms around her friend Amelia, who was too drunk to walk alone.  "And this is why I don't drink..." she thought to herself as Amelia, affectionately known as Mia, chewed on Evie's shoulder. "Om nom nom nom, om nom nom..." Mia was saying, "

Comments

[vampfan30]

interesting start.

one piece of advice - break up your dialog a little, it'll be easier to read.

& no, not too fangirlish. ^_^

V

[cherimorton]

thank you! i will try to do that in the future... i can't believe i didn't notice it...

[cherimorton]

yay! more you shall have!
this is happy me- xD

[vhvhim]

Fantastic... the kissing scene was beautiful and very powerful.
Update soon!

[cherimorton]

thank you! it's not hard to imagine the feeling of kissing him for the first time, so i went with it :D
ok, more soon :)

[ravenroses666]

a new Ville story... good start.
and I think Mia has some chewing problems LOL

[cherimorton]

thanks! yeah, when mia's drunk, she likes to chew... gives her something to do lol