Introduction and a Fiction.
Introduction: My name is Ramona and I am a sixteen year old English girl. I'm into web design, art, photography, literature, writing, horror movies, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton movies, The Rolling Stones and HIM.
Title: Take A Bow
Author: Ramona Stone (
johnnyinmypants)
Rating: No naughtyness or swearing for the moment.
Pairing: Ville/OFC
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own the band and my OFC is created from my own mind, because I'm clever like that.
Summary: I find that summaries either give to much away and spoil the story or are writtten very badly and put the reader off without them even bothering to read the first chapter. So there is no summary, but there is Ville Valo and romance, so that should be enough.
Note: It's important that you read the prologue. I know a lot of people tend to skip them, but it kind of sets the story off.
'Eve, you're such a style icon these days. But what were you like when you were younger?' The plump journalist asked me, sweeping the fringe of her short bob cut out of her eyes.
'Well, I didn't know that I had become a 'style icon'! I suppose I was like a much rounder version of who I am now. I've always loved food but unfortunately I'm not one of those girls who can eat whatever they like and stay skinny' A truthful answer, one that I was sure this woman could definitely relate to.
'Did it ever effect you that you were a bit on the chubby side?' She continued, probing in to my childhood dilemma.
'Well' I paused for thought, trying to remember certain situations. 'I was never really a shy person, but during those teenage years you always have your insecurities, and I can remember feeling not happy with the way I looked, wanting not to be fat. But everybody feels that way. And I remember it being really hard for me, because for whatever reason I always had to deal with it, I always had to struggle with it, so it'd be this boring thing I hated.' She nodded, obviously feeling the pain that I no longer felt, before continuing.
'Were you as popular with boys as you are now? You've had a lot of publicity for your relationships with people such as actor Jude Law and Finnish singer Ville Valo'
I felt a hot flush as blood ran to my face, showing the woman my embarrassment for my clear incapability for keeping relationships. 'I, uh-'
'Would you say the publicity you received for these relationships were your 'claim to fame'? You were close to marriage, weren't you?' Suddenly I did not see the plump woman who was sitting in front of me moments before, but instead a small, fat beast who snarled her fang-like teeth with every sentence. I had forgot my plan on how to answer questions like this, on how to get through them without falling flat on my face like I did the first time I wore high-heels.
'I was.' I croaked, surprising myself with how petty my voice sounded. 'He...he didn't-' Want you. He didn't want you any more. The blood-curdling voice of my conscience rang inside my mind and I felt myself losing focus on my surroundings to it's chime. The uncontrollable emptiness that I had felt so many times before suddenly pounded back in to my heart as I felt my mind wonder. It hadn't always been like this.
I was happy, once.
So that was the short prologue, which I hope intrigued you slightly so that you go and read the first chapter. I understand that you may be thinking 'Oh, this plot has been used before!' But as any person interested in writing knows, there are only seven basic story plots. Anyway, I'd really love any positive or negative feedback :)
The smell of pine wood mixed with paint floated from the deep burgundy walls and invaded my senses as soon as I entered the door. The bass turned up to the top notch of the sound system, pounded through the life-filled bodies that packed the club. The amount of chatter that flowed through the air was overwhelming, more so than the pack of photographers that waited impatiently outside, snapping at anyone who passed the burly man with the guest list with ease, because if you were allowed in to this club then you were Rock Royalty.
I pushed through the crowd with complexity, apologizing to any pair of eyes that set on me because of my elbow clashing with their hips. I scanned the room, seeing males and females of all gender, nationality and labels mixing with old and new friends and some people they had met five minutes prior. I carried on scanning until my eyes fell on the slender back of a female with long tawny hair much like my own. Feeling a sudden gladness for finding someone whom I knew, I continued to push myself through the haul of people towards her. I saw a blur of black, green and blue from the corner of my eye turn abruptly, my mind only registering how close it was until it's slender body collided with my shoulder, jolting me sidewards and spilling a small amount of the content of it's bottle, clutched tightly in hand, on to the floor. I quickly turned to the blur, rambling incoherent apologies like I had been doing all night long, preparing to walk away. Emerald-green pools that seemed to glimmer under the bright multicoloured lights, stared back into my deep brown ones, capturing me. A mumble of words, spoken in a deep melodic voice, drew my attention to his pink, plump lips and I scanned his face, making sure not to look in to the emeralds. I noted the pale skin, unnatural for Los Angeles, had not seen the sun's rays. A button nose, defined cheekbones, dark brown curls falling around the angel-like features, framing them. I heard the melodic mumble again before feeling a soft, warm hand land on the top of my arm, sending a unexpected shiver through my motionless body. I was bought back to reality with a crash of loud bass and chatter, glasses clinking and lights flitting around my surroundings. I heard the mumble yet again, but this time I heard the voice behind it also. The voice of this perfect human being.
'Are you okay?' The angel asked, concern for my lack of speech clear in his voice, which I had only just registered had a slight pang of an accent to it. 'I'm very sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going' He waited for my reply but it was no use, my eyes had returned to his lips, wondering if they felt as soft as they looked. Before I had come to the conclusion, the lips disappeared, being replaced by the dark curls and slender back. That was when I realised he had turned away from me and I had a sudden urge of confidence to find my voice.
'I'm fine!' I was shocked with the volume of my confirmation and so was he, turning back with a shocked expression covering his features. 'I...I mean, I'm very sorry' He smiled sweetly at me.
'Don't be, I shouldn't have been in such a rush to get another beer!' He bantered and I gave a girlish giggle that I of course regretted. That was until I saw his smile spread into an impish grin, showing his set of not-quite-so straight teeth and small gap between his two central ones. 'I'm Ville' He offered a slender hand to me and I took it as if my life depended on it.
'Evelyn - well, Eve'
He smiled, lifting my hand to his lips and giving it a small peck. My earlier wonder of his lips had been answered. Yes, they were soft. So soft. I noted that his grip lingered slightly before letting my hand go, and almost instantly I felt a loss.
'Beautiful' He replied, his emerald eyes gazed deep into mine. I felt my breath catch in my throat and hoped that I would remember to let it escape before passing out. The music, the voices, the lights, they all disappeared again and suddenly it was just Ville and I. Ville. Even saying his name in my head at the time made me giddy, sounding like we had been friends for an eternity. I thought I heard him speak again but this time his voice was too feminine, and his lips had not moved from it's sweet smile.
'Eve, where have you been?' I heard the voice and as soon as I chose to listen to it the noise of my surroundings crashed me back into reality once again and I turned to look at the voice. This time I wasn't so happy to see the same tawny hair as my own, nor the caring smile stamped across it's face. 'Well? You said you'd meet me outside half an hour ago'
'I...yes, I was late. Sorry.'
'Well' She replied 'Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?' She turned to him offering her hand.
I reluctantly obliged. 'Oh, yeah. Maggie, this Ville. Ville, this is my sister, Maggie' I felt my face crease as he took her hand delicately into his own, my mind screaming at him to stop as he lifted her hand to his soft lips and pecked it gently. My heart sank at the thought of my sister now knowing the secret of his lips.
'Nice to meet you'
'Likewise' He replied, dropping her hand 'I didn't realise Eve was the sister of Hollywood's hottest new actress' I rolled my eyes at his words, knowing how my sister was loving the attention.
'Oh, well I wouldn't say 'hottest' bu-'
'I'm going to go and grab a drink, nice meeting you, Ville' I excused myself from the conversation that I had lost my participants in and turned from their confused expressions. I almost regretted doing so when I realised I would have to push through the crowds of guests again.
I managed to barge my way through until I found a waiter, dressed in black pants and a smart white shirt but to my surprise, with numerous facial piercings, carrying a tray with glasses of white wine. He gave me his metallic smile before passing one of the glasses to me. I thanked him quietly before turning into someone's grip.
'Why did you run off like that?' I stared into their eyes before rolling my own.
'I was thirsty' I replied 'Why are you not there now?'
'I came to find you, duh. Which, by the way, totally ruined my dress' My sister pointed to her deep blue Armani dress that now showed imperfection due to a small rip in the fabric, just below the knee. 'Good thing I can afford another one, huh? Oh, I managed to give Ville my number' She smiled with an impish look and I found myself wanting to tear her dress even more.
'That's great' I smiled, fake of course. Maggie had always had the best luck with guys. She was beautiful, sexy and smart. Not to mention, confident. It's why she was doing so well in Hollywood, typical beauties always get the lead roles and she certainly was getting a lot of them. I've always just been 'The little sister of Maggie Avery, that hot actress in that newest box office smash hit' I don't have low self esteem, but I'm not sexy and I'm not beautiful. I'm 'cute'. That's what everyone describes me as, and it drives me mad being labelled the same as a baby. I've had it all my life and thought that I would grow out of it, but there I was, a 20 year old woman and still looking like a ten-year-old girl. Losing out to her beautiful 25 year old sister.
'I know, right? Anyway, we'd better go get to our table before the awards start, huh?' I smiled at her as she grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowd of Rock's finest. Suddenly, I didn't feel as happy to be there as I was 15 minutes before.
So, that was the first chapter. I'm not totally happy with the dialogue but I do like the description. The following chapters will be better and more interesting, I always find first chapters are a bit of a bore. Both positive and negative feedback would be appreciated. :)
Title: Take A Bow
Author: Ramona Stone (
johnnyinmypants)
Rating: No naughtyness or swearing for the moment.
Pairing: Ville/OFC
Disclaimer: I obviously do not own the band and my OFC is created from my own mind, because I'm clever like that.
Summary: I find that summaries either give to much away and spoil the story or are writtten very badly and put the reader off without them even bothering to read the first chapter. So there is no summary, but there is Ville Valo and romance, so that should be enough.
Note: It's important that you read the prologue. I know a lot of people tend to skip them, but it kind of sets the story off.
'Eve, you're such a style icon these days. But what were you like when you were younger?' The plump journalist asked me, sweeping the fringe of her short bob cut out of her eyes.
'Well, I didn't know that I had become a 'style icon'! I suppose I was like a much rounder version of who I am now. I've always loved food but unfortunately I'm not one of those girls who can eat whatever they like and stay skinny' A truthful answer, one that I was sure this woman could definitely relate to.
'Did it ever effect you that you were a bit on the chubby side?' She continued, probing in to my childhood dilemma.
'Well' I paused for thought, trying to remember certain situations. 'I was never really a shy person, but during those teenage years you always have your insecurities, and I can remember feeling not happy with the way I looked, wanting not to be fat. But everybody feels that way. And I remember it being really hard for me, because for whatever reason I always had to deal with it, I always had to struggle with it, so it'd be this boring thing I hated.' She nodded, obviously feeling the pain that I no longer felt, before continuing.
'Were you as popular with boys as you are now? You've had a lot of publicity for your relationships with people such as actor Jude Law and Finnish singer Ville Valo'
I felt a hot flush as blood ran to my face, showing the woman my embarrassment for my clear incapability for keeping relationships. 'I, uh-'
'Would you say the publicity you received for these relationships were your 'claim to fame'? You were close to marriage, weren't you?' Suddenly I did not see the plump woman who was sitting in front of me moments before, but instead a small, fat beast who snarled her fang-like teeth with every sentence. I had forgot my plan on how to answer questions like this, on how to get through them without falling flat on my face like I did the first time I wore high-heels.
'I was.' I croaked, surprising myself with how petty my voice sounded. 'He...he didn't-' Want you. He didn't want you any more. The blood-curdling voice of my conscience rang inside my mind and I felt myself losing focus on my surroundings to it's chime. The uncontrollable emptiness that I had felt so many times before suddenly pounded back in to my heart as I felt my mind wonder. It hadn't always been like this.
I was happy, once.
So that was the short prologue, which I hope intrigued you slightly so that you go and read the first chapter. I understand that you may be thinking 'Oh, this plot has been used before!' But as any person interested in writing knows, there are only seven basic story plots. Anyway, I'd really love any positive or negative feedback :)
The smell of pine wood mixed with paint floated from the deep burgundy walls and invaded my senses as soon as I entered the door. The bass turned up to the top notch of the sound system, pounded through the life-filled bodies that packed the club. The amount of chatter that flowed through the air was overwhelming, more so than the pack of photographers that waited impatiently outside, snapping at anyone who passed the burly man with the guest list with ease, because if you were allowed in to this club then you were Rock Royalty.
I pushed through the crowd with complexity, apologizing to any pair of eyes that set on me because of my elbow clashing with their hips. I scanned the room, seeing males and females of all gender, nationality and labels mixing with old and new friends and some people they had met five minutes prior. I carried on scanning until my eyes fell on the slender back of a female with long tawny hair much like my own. Feeling a sudden gladness for finding someone whom I knew, I continued to push myself through the haul of people towards her. I saw a blur of black, green and blue from the corner of my eye turn abruptly, my mind only registering how close it was until it's slender body collided with my shoulder, jolting me sidewards and spilling a small amount of the content of it's bottle, clutched tightly in hand, on to the floor. I quickly turned to the blur, rambling incoherent apologies like I had been doing all night long, preparing to walk away. Emerald-green pools that seemed to glimmer under the bright multicoloured lights, stared back into my deep brown ones, capturing me. A mumble of words, spoken in a deep melodic voice, drew my attention to his pink, plump lips and I scanned his face, making sure not to look in to the emeralds. I noted the pale skin, unnatural for Los Angeles, had not seen the sun's rays. A button nose, defined cheekbones, dark brown curls falling around the angel-like features, framing them. I heard the melodic mumble again before feeling a soft, warm hand land on the top of my arm, sending a unexpected shiver through my motionless body. I was bought back to reality with a crash of loud bass and chatter, glasses clinking and lights flitting around my surroundings. I heard the mumble yet again, but this time I heard the voice behind it also. The voice of this perfect human being.
'Are you okay?' The angel asked, concern for my lack of speech clear in his voice, which I had only just registered had a slight pang of an accent to it. 'I'm very sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going' He waited for my reply but it was no use, my eyes had returned to his lips, wondering if they felt as soft as they looked. Before I had come to the conclusion, the lips disappeared, being replaced by the dark curls and slender back. That was when I realised he had turned away from me and I had a sudden urge of confidence to find my voice.
'I'm fine!' I was shocked with the volume of my confirmation and so was he, turning back with a shocked expression covering his features. 'I...I mean, I'm very sorry' He smiled sweetly at me.
'Don't be, I shouldn't have been in such a rush to get another beer!' He bantered and I gave a girlish giggle that I of course regretted. That was until I saw his smile spread into an impish grin, showing his set of not-quite-so straight teeth and small gap between his two central ones. 'I'm Ville' He offered a slender hand to me and I took it as if my life depended on it.
'Evelyn - well, Eve'
He smiled, lifting my hand to his lips and giving it a small peck. My earlier wonder of his lips had been answered. Yes, they were soft. So soft. I noted that his grip lingered slightly before letting my hand go, and almost instantly I felt a loss.
'Beautiful' He replied, his emerald eyes gazed deep into mine. I felt my breath catch in my throat and hoped that I would remember to let it escape before passing out. The music, the voices, the lights, they all disappeared again and suddenly it was just Ville and I. Ville. Even saying his name in my head at the time made me giddy, sounding like we had been friends for an eternity. I thought I heard him speak again but this time his voice was too feminine, and his lips had not moved from it's sweet smile.
'Eve, where have you been?' I heard the voice and as soon as I chose to listen to it the noise of my surroundings crashed me back into reality once again and I turned to look at the voice. This time I wasn't so happy to see the same tawny hair as my own, nor the caring smile stamped across it's face. 'Well? You said you'd meet me outside half an hour ago'
'I...yes, I was late. Sorry.'
'Well' She replied 'Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?' She turned to him offering her hand.
I reluctantly obliged. 'Oh, yeah. Maggie, this Ville. Ville, this is my sister, Maggie' I felt my face crease as he took her hand delicately into his own, my mind screaming at him to stop as he lifted her hand to his soft lips and pecked it gently. My heart sank at the thought of my sister now knowing the secret of his lips.
'Nice to meet you'
'Likewise' He replied, dropping her hand 'I didn't realise Eve was the sister of Hollywood's hottest new actress' I rolled my eyes at his words, knowing how my sister was loving the attention.
'Oh, well I wouldn't say 'hottest' bu-'
'I'm going to go and grab a drink, nice meeting you, Ville' I excused myself from the conversation that I had lost my participants in and turned from their confused expressions. I almost regretted doing so when I realised I would have to push through the crowds of guests again.
I managed to barge my way through until I found a waiter, dressed in black pants and a smart white shirt but to my surprise, with numerous facial piercings, carrying a tray with glasses of white wine. He gave me his metallic smile before passing one of the glasses to me. I thanked him quietly before turning into someone's grip.
'Why did you run off like that?' I stared into their eyes before rolling my own.
'I was thirsty' I replied 'Why are you not there now?'
'I came to find you, duh. Which, by the way, totally ruined my dress' My sister pointed to her deep blue Armani dress that now showed imperfection due to a small rip in the fabric, just below the knee. 'Good thing I can afford another one, huh? Oh, I managed to give Ville my number' She smiled with an impish look and I found myself wanting to tear her dress even more.
'That's great' I smiled, fake of course. Maggie had always had the best luck with guys. She was beautiful, sexy and smart. Not to mention, confident. It's why she was doing so well in Hollywood, typical beauties always get the lead roles and she certainly was getting a lot of them. I've always just been 'The little sister of Maggie Avery, that hot actress in that newest box office smash hit' I don't have low self esteem, but I'm not sexy and I'm not beautiful. I'm 'cute'. That's what everyone describes me as, and it drives me mad being labelled the same as a baby. I've had it all my life and thought that I would grow out of it, but there I was, a 20 year old woman and still looking like a ten-year-old girl. Losing out to her beautiful 25 year old sister.
'I know, right? Anyway, we'd better go get to our table before the awards start, huh?' I smiled at her as she grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowd of Rock's finest. Suddenly, I didn't feel as happy to be there as I was 15 minutes before.
So, that was the first chapter. I'm not totally happy with the dialogue but I do like the description. The following chapters will be better and more interesting, I always find first chapters are a bit of a bore. Both positive and negative feedback would be appreciated. :)