Can't I Do Better?
Title: Can't I Do Better?
Author:himenojigoku
Chapters: {1/1} One-shot
Genre: Drama, Angst
Warnings: Violence to inanimate objects, Cursing, Some self-mutalation(Not explicit)
Rating: R
Pairing: Broken!AoixUruha (mentions of unknown character)
Summary: It's been 2 months and yet his face is still in his head.
Comments: Um, I had an emo-moment and so this is the product. It's the FIRST and probably LAST time I ever write my favorite OTP like this! I don't ever really write unhappy endings but oh well. Inspired by Marvin's Room. And no this is not Aoi bashing. Enjoy the angst!xD
It was dark. Not necessarily in the room either. Uruha was dressed in all black like some goth who hasn't seen the light in years. His eyes were red and a burning cigarette was between his skinny fingers. The glow of the sunset made everything in the room look like it was orange. The gazette guitarist was staring blankly from his position on the armchair. He wasn't relaxed but more like a statue as time went by. It's been 2 months.
2 long, hurtful, god forsaken, fucking, months.
The guitarist went to work that day with a smile on his face of course. But when he got home to his lonely apartment he can't help but think about past events. The atmosphere of the band didn't really change, but you can tell Aoi and Uruha weren't as close as they used to be.
And with good reason.
The others ignored it. They tried to keep the happy family feeling at work. They would still go out and drink as a group, but it was a just fence to keep Uruha from killing Aoi. The only person who Uruha really talks to is his best friend Reita. Even he couldn't change Uruha's opinion.
The dark haired man brought the cigarette to his mouth and took a long toxic inhale. He let loose the breath in a puff of white smoke. Suddenly, the glass beside him was shattering against the wall. There was a brown spot against the grey wall where the liquour splattered.
"Fuck this shit." Uruha said as he stood and made his way to the kitchen. Why was he hurt? Aoi didn't give him the time of day after they broke up. Shows how much their relationship meant to the other man.
Uruha continued to smoke as he grabbed another glass and poured some tequila in it. The cabnet squeaked eeriely loud as he closed it. His boots cloncked along the wooden floor as he made his way back to the living room. He sat back down in the armchair with a heavy sigh and took a sip. He was pretty sure he was past the healthy dose of alchohol for the human body.
"I bet he didn't even think twice." Uruha didn't get a chance to say everything he wanted to when he left Aoi that night from the hotel room. He stubbed his cigarette out. He refused to cry anymore over that bastard.
:Flashback:
Reita and Uruha walked across a parking lot of a cheap motel.
"Do you really want to do this?" Reita asked as they stopped infront of a door that said B24.
"I have to know, right?" Uruha smiled wryly. "If it's not true then my worries and suspicions have been for nothing. Then I can go back to being happy."
"True. I just don't want you to get hurt anymore though." Reita said patting Uruha's shoulder.
"Hm." Uruha said as he stepped up and knocked on the door. There was some shuffling and someone turned the knob.
A tall blond haired man appeared. His hair was disheveled and there was a hickey on his neck. He had a sheet wrapped around his waist.
"Uh, may I help you." He man scratched his head.
"The man you were with, did you know him long?" Uruha asked. Reita stayed quiet in the background.
"No, but that's none of your business. Who are you?" The man crossed his arms defensive.
"Aoi?" Uruha called into the room. He ignored the man's shocked face confirming his fears. "You could of done better than this. You could of told me it was over instead of cheating." Uruha aboutfaced and quickly walked away.
"Uru!" Reita called and started to go after him. He paused as he heard a voice.
"Uruha!" Aoi yelled coming from inside the room. He came out the door. "Wait!"
Reita screamed. "You bastard! What kind of man doesn't tell the person he says he loves the truth!" He practically ran after Uruha.
:End Flashback:
Pearl drops formed in eyes.
Then, a crazy idea formed into his head. Why not leave a message? It was pure liquor talking, but his mind was to muddled to know better. Aoi only had his number now for work purposes probably. Uruha eyes were half lidded as he expected the automatic response of the voicemail lady to pop up. He took a gulp of the tequila. He needed to be extra drunk for this.
But, instead he was greeted with a deep male voice.
"Hello."
"Oh, the irony." Uruha chuckled. "Here I thought you wouldn't pick up."
"Uruha?" Aoi said uncertain. "Are you...drunk?" It's been months since they've spoken.
"Precisely." Uruha said. The ice in his glass clinking. "I do need to say this though."
He took a deep breath. Say everything.
"I know our relationship wasn't perfect. Hell, what relationship is." Uruha shifted in the chair. "But I realized after 2 months I loved you enough to cry, get angry, and just plain out hurt over you."
"I-"
"Let me finish." The guitarist cut off. "This has been bottled up." He finished the tequila and put the glass down. "If I sit back and look at it, we bring out the worse and best in each other. We love music exactly the same with a passion. You turned me into some crazy slut when we had sex. I turned you into some easily jealous fool when other guys flirt with me. We argued like fucking cats and dogs at the most stupidest of things-like why I had to leave the tv on or something. My blood pressure and temper shot up because of you. You destroyed half the stuff in your apartment because of me."
Uruha took a deep breath. "What I don't understand is why? I thought even as things were bad as they were that we could of been good together. Even forever as fucking cheesy as that sounds. Did I make you so mad that you had to cheat behind my back? Were we not having enough sex that you had to be a whore and get with someone you met one night? No. I can't understand it even if I have replayed it a thousand times in my head."
"I know there is no excuse for my actions. I can't even explain why I did it." Aoi said quietly. "Can't we do this face to face? We've been hurt too much already by the distance."
Uruha was silent for a moment as if contemplating. "I thought about that too. But, if you really wanted to fix things why wait 2 months? I'm the one who started this call and I will finish it." He stood up walking towards the window. Stars glittered brightly across the sky.
"Aoi you are the most loving, affectionate, selfish, manipulative, sexy bastard I have ever met." Uruha explained. His fist punched the wall. Blood dripped down his knuckles, but he didn't care. He just repeatedly punched as he said his thoughts crisp and clear. "You fooled me from the very first day you confessed. But, you haven't heard it all."
He was breathing labored from the effort of punching the wall. He looked at his messed up knuckles not caring if he broke a bone. "FUCK YOU AOI. You turned me into some emo-ish, sobbing, pathetic excuse of a human being. And the bad part is that your are only half the problem." He whispered. "I can't seem to put my own mind a rest because memories of us keep playing in my head." Tears were streaming down his fast at this point.
"For all I know you're probably laughing on the inside. Had fun toying with my feelings and my body?"
"Uruha you're wrong!-"
"DAMMIT LET ME FINISH!" Uruha yelled. "I'm actually glad we've had this distance because it made me realize that I can do better! I can do better than you Aoi. I can find someone you would give me their heart and soul and I don't have to worry if I'm keeping them satisfied. You always left me wondering. Well, now I'm leaving you wondering. You can't do better than me."
Uruha said calmly. "Say goodbye to the only person you could of been happy with. Tell your new fuck they have a lot of work to do."
"Uruha please!-"
"Goodbye." Uruha pressed the end button on his iphone hard. He threw the device across the room where it smashed into pieces. He smiled with a grim satifaction. He said it. He finally said what's been bothering him these past 2 months. He briefly wondered if Aoi even understood that much of his drunken slur.
"Shit. I need a new phone now." He sagged as if a heavy weight came off his shoulders. He doesn't regret anything.
*Why is the cut acting strange?
Author:himenojigoku
Chapters: {1/1} One-shot
Genre: Drama, Angst
Warnings: Violence to inanimate objects, Cursing, Some self-mutalation(Not explicit)
Rating: R
Pairing: Broken!AoixUruha (mentions of unknown character)
Summary: It's been 2 months and yet his face is still in his head.
Comments: Um, I had an emo-moment and so this is the product. It's the FIRST and probably LAST time I ever write my favorite OTP like this! I don't ever really write unhappy endings but oh well. Inspired by Marvin's Room. And no this is not Aoi bashing. Enjoy the angst!xD
It was dark. Not necessarily in the room either. Uruha was dressed in all black like some goth who hasn't seen the light in years. His eyes were red and a burning cigarette was between his skinny fingers. The glow of the sunset made everything in the room look like it was orange. The gazette guitarist was staring blankly from his position on the armchair. He wasn't relaxed but more like a statue as time went by. It's been 2 months.
2 long, hurtful, god forsaken, fucking, months.
The guitarist went to work that day with a smile on his face of course. But when he got home to his lonely apartment he can't help but think about past events. The atmosphere of the band didn't really change, but you can tell Aoi and Uruha weren't as close as they used to be.
And with good reason.
The others ignored it. They tried to keep the happy family feeling at work. They would still go out and drink as a group, but it was a just fence to keep Uruha from killing Aoi. The only person who Uruha really talks to is his best friend Reita. Even he couldn't change Uruha's opinion.
The dark haired man brought the cigarette to his mouth and took a long toxic inhale. He let loose the breath in a puff of white smoke. Suddenly, the glass beside him was shattering against the wall. There was a brown spot against the grey wall where the liquour splattered.
"Fuck this shit." Uruha said as he stood and made his way to the kitchen. Why was he hurt? Aoi didn't give him the time of day after they broke up. Shows how much their relationship meant to the other man.
Uruha continued to smoke as he grabbed another glass and poured some tequila in it. The cabnet squeaked eeriely loud as he closed it. His boots cloncked along the wooden floor as he made his way back to the living room. He sat back down in the armchair with a heavy sigh and took a sip. He was pretty sure he was past the healthy dose of alchohol for the human body.
"I bet he didn't even think twice." Uruha didn't get a chance to say everything he wanted to when he left Aoi that night from the hotel room. He stubbed his cigarette out. He refused to cry anymore over that bastard.
:Flashback:
Reita and Uruha walked across a parking lot of a cheap motel.
"Do you really want to do this?" Reita asked as they stopped infront of a door that said B24.
"I have to know, right?" Uruha smiled wryly. "If it's not true then my worries and suspicions have been for nothing. Then I can go back to being happy."
"True. I just don't want you to get hurt anymore though." Reita said patting Uruha's shoulder.
"Hm." Uruha said as he stepped up and knocked on the door. There was some shuffling and someone turned the knob.
A tall blond haired man appeared. His hair was disheveled and there was a hickey on his neck. He had a sheet wrapped around his waist.
"Uh, may I help you." He man scratched his head.
"The man you were with, did you know him long?" Uruha asked. Reita stayed quiet in the background.
"No, but that's none of your business. Who are you?" The man crossed his arms defensive.
"Aoi?" Uruha called into the room. He ignored the man's shocked face confirming his fears. "You could of done better than this. You could of told me it was over instead of cheating." Uruha aboutfaced and quickly walked away.
"Uru!" Reita called and started to go after him. He paused as he heard a voice.
"Uruha!" Aoi yelled coming from inside the room. He came out the door. "Wait!"
Reita screamed. "You bastard! What kind of man doesn't tell the person he says he loves the truth!" He practically ran after Uruha.
:End Flashback:
Pearl drops formed in eyes.
Then, a crazy idea formed into his head. Why not leave a message? It was pure liquor talking, but his mind was to muddled to know better. Aoi only had his number now for work purposes probably. Uruha eyes were half lidded as he expected the automatic response of the voicemail lady to pop up. He took a gulp of the tequila. He needed to be extra drunk for this.
But, instead he was greeted with a deep male voice.
"Hello."
"Oh, the irony." Uruha chuckled. "Here I thought you wouldn't pick up."
"Uruha?" Aoi said uncertain. "Are you...drunk?" It's been months since they've spoken.
"Precisely." Uruha said. The ice in his glass clinking. "I do need to say this though."
He took a deep breath. Say everything.
"I know our relationship wasn't perfect. Hell, what relationship is." Uruha shifted in the chair. "But I realized after 2 months I loved you enough to cry, get angry, and just plain out hurt over you."
"I-"
"Let me finish." The guitarist cut off. "This has been bottled up." He finished the tequila and put the glass down. "If I sit back and look at it, we bring out the worse and best in each other. We love music exactly the same with a passion. You turned me into some crazy slut when we had sex. I turned you into some easily jealous fool when other guys flirt with me. We argued like fucking cats and dogs at the most stupidest of things-like why I had to leave the tv on or something. My blood pressure and temper shot up because of you. You destroyed half the stuff in your apartment because of me."
Uruha took a deep breath. "What I don't understand is why? I thought even as things were bad as they were that we could of been good together. Even forever as fucking cheesy as that sounds. Did I make you so mad that you had to cheat behind my back? Were we not having enough sex that you had to be a whore and get with someone you met one night? No. I can't understand it even if I have replayed it a thousand times in my head."
"I know there is no excuse for my actions. I can't even explain why I did it." Aoi said quietly. "Can't we do this face to face? We've been hurt too much already by the distance."
Uruha was silent for a moment as if contemplating. "I thought about that too. But, if you really wanted to fix things why wait 2 months? I'm the one who started this call and I will finish it." He stood up walking towards the window. Stars glittered brightly across the sky.
"Aoi you are the most loving, affectionate, selfish, manipulative, sexy bastard I have ever met." Uruha explained. His fist punched the wall. Blood dripped down his knuckles, but he didn't care. He just repeatedly punched as he said his thoughts crisp and clear. "You fooled me from the very first day you confessed. But, you haven't heard it all."
He was breathing labored from the effort of punching the wall. He looked at his messed up knuckles not caring if he broke a bone. "FUCK YOU AOI. You turned me into some emo-ish, sobbing, pathetic excuse of a human being. And the bad part is that your are only half the problem." He whispered. "I can't seem to put my own mind a rest because memories of us keep playing in my head." Tears were streaming down his fast at this point.
"For all I know you're probably laughing on the inside. Had fun toying with my feelings and my body?"
"Uruha you're wrong!-"
"DAMMIT LET ME FINISH!" Uruha yelled. "I'm actually glad we've had this distance because it made me realize that I can do better! I can do better than you Aoi. I can find someone you would give me their heart and soul and I don't have to worry if I'm keeping them satisfied. You always left me wondering. Well, now I'm leaving you wondering. You can't do better than me."
Uruha said calmly. "Say goodbye to the only person you could of been happy with. Tell your new fuck they have a lot of work to do."
"Uruha please!-"
"Goodbye." Uruha pressed the end button on his iphone hard. He threw the device across the room where it smashed into pieces. He smiled with a grim satifaction. He said it. He finally said what's been bothering him these past 2 months. He briefly wondered if Aoi even understood that much of his drunken slur.
"Shit. I need a new phone now." He sagged as if a heavy weight came off his shoulders. He doesn't regret anything.
*Why is the cut acting strange?