[fic] Memory of That Day - part 3
A week had passed since the night they confessed to each other, and as those week had passed, both of Yuuki’s eyes is no longer can be used
Keisuke knew that it was hard for Yuuki, because despite the fact that Yuuki would always smile whenever his friends came to visit, always smile just not to made his family and his friends worried about him, deep down the smaller man was really broken
Almost every night whenever he came to visit Yuuki’s room, the smaller man would always crying to him, saying that he was scared, saying that he’s scared of darkness, saying that he’s scared of being alone
Keisuke wished that he could take away Yuuki’s disease or maybe give him back his vision, but he knew he couldn’t do that. No matter what he do, he couldn’t cured Yuuki’s disease, not when even the doctor couldn’t cured both Yuuki’s disease and his
That’s why the only thing that he could offered to Yuuki to made him feel better, is just staying by his side and pray for his safety
Keisuke was walking on the corridor on the third floor as he made his way to Yuuki’s room, ready to knock on the door before a loud sound of something crashed came from Yuuki’s room, making his eyes widen in fear
“Yuuki!” Keisuke shot the door opened and step inside, staring at Yuuki in surprised when he saw the smaller man was standing near the shelf with pieces of broken glass surrounding him
“Idiot!” Keisuke yelled, walking to where Yuuki as he put his arm around the man’s waist while his other free hand holding on to Yuuki’s hand to led him out of that mess, just to make sure that Yuuki wouldn’t step on that glass so he wouldn’t hurt himself
“What the hell are you doing?!” Keisuke frowned at the other as he led Yuuki to sit on the bed
“Sorry…” Yuuki bit his lip, looking down as he apologizes. “I just wanted to get some glass to use it to drink”
“You should’ve called the nurses”
“I don’t want to” Yuuki answered, which make Keisuke look at him in confused
“Why?” Keisuke asked
He saw Yuuki look down as the smaller man said, “I don’t want to cause trouble to anyone…”
Keisuke stay stilled hearing the answer came from his lover, feeling how his heart clenched upon seeing the sad look on Yuuki’s face
“I…” Yuuki started, “I’ve been troubling everyone since I lost my vision… I’ve been made everyone worry… I’m… I’m just a burden to everyone…” he bit his lip, feeling tear formed on his eyes
“Yuuki…” Keisuke put a hand on Yuuki’s shoulder, speaking gently at his lover who tried so hard not crying right now
“That’s not true. You’re not troubling any-” Keisuke’s sentence was cut off when Yuuki suddenly slapped his hand away from his shoulder
“Yes I am, and you know that is the truth!” Yuuki shouted, not noticing that the tears he tried to hold back has fell down to his cheeks
“Because I lost my vision, everyone started trying to help me doing everything! Helping me to get my food, helping me to walked, helping to go to the bathroom, even helping me to get change! I’ve been troubling everyone! And you know why?! It’s because of this damn disease!” Yuuki shouted all of his frustration, making Keisuke stay still at the crying man in front of him. This is the first time he had saw Yuuki yelling like this
Yuuki cover his eyes with his hand, sobbing loudly enough for Keisuke to hear, “I don’t want to trouble anyone… I don’t want to trouble mom… and you…” Yuuki choke out on his sentence before continue to speak, “But… I can’t even do thing so simply as drinking by myself… I… I’m useless… I can’t do anything…”
Keisuke bit his lip, trying hard not to cried seeing how his lover had broken down so much worse than every of those night his lover would cry to him
“I…” Yuuki shook his head, “…I’m only troubling anyone by keep living… it… it’ll be much better if I gone”
Hearing those words, Keisuke couldn’t find himself stay still as he felt how anger filled him
Keisuke walked closer to his lover and gripped on each side of Yuuki’s shoulder. “IDIOT!” he shouted in front of Yuuki’s face, which made his lover surprised
“YOU’RE AN IDIOT! YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIOT!” Keisuke shouted again, feeling how his tears had fall down to his cheek as well
“You…” Keisuke shook his head, sobbing before he rest his head on Yuuki’s shoulder while his hands moved to circled around the smaller figure’s in front of him tightly, gripping hard on Yuuki’s clothes as he continue crying. “You really are an idiot…”
Yuuki had stopped crying now as he was dumbfounded by Keisuke, though he couldn’t see, he knew for sure Keisuke was crying as he could feel his clothes getting wet with Keisuke who had his face buried on his shoulder like this
“How could say such thing about your own life like that?!” Keisuke shouted again, tightening his hold on Yuuki’s smaller body
“Don’t you know… don’t you know how much you mean to me…?” the taller man said in whispered, tilting his face so his face would buried on Yuuki’s neck
“Kei-chan…” Yuuki breathed out his lover name
“To me…” Keisuke tighten his hold on Yuuki, “To me… you mean everything…”
Yuuki stay still, unable to find any words to said back as he was left surprised by Keisuke’s declaration, feeling how his heart melt against those word came from someone he loved
Hearing Keisuke said those words, it made him feels… so treasured
“I… I love you, you idiot!” Keisuke shouted almost in frustration. “So don’t you dare saying stuff like you’re better off gone!”
“Kei-chan…” a sob escaped from Yuuki’s lips
“…don’t you dare…” Keisuke shut his eyes tightly trying to hold back the tears that now freely escaped from his eyes, “…don’t you dare leave me”
“I need you…” Keisuke whispered, trapping Yuuki in his arms tightly, refusing to lose hold on his lover, as if afraid that if he let go just a second, Yuuki would disappear into thin air
“Kei-chan…” a single tear fell from Yuuki’s eye hearing those words escaped from Keisuke, his heart ached when his lover in this statement. He had made Keisuke cried because of what he says, he had made his loves one sad
“Kei-chan… don’t cry…” Yuuki brought his hands to rest on Keisuke’s back, slowly clutching the back of his lover’s shirt in a tight grip. “I’m sorry… don’t cry…”
Keisuke shook his head and buried his face deeper into Yuuki’s neck with his arms still trapping the smaller figure
“Kei-chan…” a soft whimper escaped from Yuuki’s lips before tears finally streaming out of his eyes as he also tighten his hold on Keisuke, burying his face into the dark hair belong to Keisuke
“I’m sorry…” Yuuki whispered those word to the taller man’s ear
“I’m sorry Kei-chan… I’m sorry for saying that… don’t cry…”
“I’m sorry…”
The sound of the bird singing in his ear that made Keisuke opened his and lifted his head where it had rest against the bed hospital where Yuuki had felt asleep on it, with the smaller man’s hand entwined with his
He had remember that after both of them tired of crying last night, Yuuki had asked for him to stay with him, that’s why he had found himself fell asleep on the chair while holding into Yuuki’s hand tightly earlier
Turning his attention to lock his gaze at the sleeping form on the bed, a smile form on his lips when he saw how peaceful the look on Yuuki’s sleeping face. It’s look like the latter had calmed down
Keisuke tighten his hold on Yuuki’s hand, lifting up gently before placing a gentle kiss on Yuuki’s hand
Feeling that gentle contact, Yuuki stirred in his asleep before fluttering his eyes open, a smile appeared on his face when he felt a pair of eyes staring at him, a stares that he knew too well that he didn’t have to see to know who it is
“Morning…” Yuuki smile widely at his lover, who seem a bit surprised at how cheerful that smile is after what had happened last night
Keisuke didn’t care though, as long as Yuuki smiles like that, he didn’t care about anything else. “Morning” Keisuke said, simply giving his lover a small but gentle smile
There was only silence between the two of them before Yuuki decided to broke the silence. “About yesterday…” he started before continue, “…I’m sorry”
Keisuke just smile, tightening his hold on Yuuki’s hand, “It’s okay. But if you dare say that again, I’ll smack you”
Yuuki laugh, “I won’t”
The smile on Keisuke’s face became wider upon hearing the laughter from his lover, feeling how his heart fluttered with happiness just hearing those cheerful voice. “Good then”
“You know… I have fully realized that no other people could leave without a help of other people” Yuuki said, a small smile form on his lip before he turn to face Keisuke where he thought it is. “I won’t make a fuss or complain to give a damn how fucked up my life right now”
“I’m… I will continue on living to my very best” Yuuki smile even wider, “I’m probably going to give trouble to other people. To my parents, to my friends, and to you Kei-chan. But… I’ll keep on living, I’ll fight this disease with my very best”
“That’s why I need you…” Yuuki said, tightening his hold on his lover, “Will you… stay by my side till then?”
Keisuke chuckled, “Idiot. I already promised you that I’ll stay by your side whenever you need me” he said, lifting his other hand to caress Yuuki’s hair
“Even if you didn’t need me anymore, I’ll keep stick close to you. So you better get used to it” Keisuke smirked
Yuuki laugh, “Don’t worry, I love your company”
“I’m glad then” Keisuke smile before leaning down to planted a kiss on Yuuki’s forehead
When Yuuki felt a kiss landed on his forehead, a soft smile formed on his lip before he called out his lover’s name, “Kei-chan…”
“Hm?”
Yuuki smile gently, “Thank you… for everything”
Keisuke look at his lover in surprised before his expression turn into a gentle one, a look only that he will ever showed to Yuuki. “Hn”
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Keisuke run out of his room, running with all of his might along the corridor as he brought his feet as fast as he could to the elevator
He immediately pushed the button when he reached in front of the elevator, pushing the button again but repeatedly this time as he keep muttering the words, “Come on… hurry up, hurry up damn it!”
Groaning in frustration and anger, he run to direction to the stairs is as he quickly run upstairs
“Yuuki… Yuuki… Yuuki” Keisuke keep chanted his lover’s name again and again as he tried to run quickly upstairs
“Please… hang in there” Keisuke prayed on his mind as he gritted his teeth and immediately run with all of his might the moment his feet no longer on the stairs, running fast toward the direction of Yuuki’s room
From the distance, he saw many people that he thought Yuuki’s friends, along with Yuuki’s mother and a doctor he remember was Yuuki’s doctor among them. Keisuke felt his heart wanted to leap out of his chest when he realized many of Yuuki’s friends and Yuuki’s mother had cried
He had a really bad feeling
“Sanda-san” Keisuke called out for Yuuki’s mother when he stop in a few feet away from her. “Y-Yuuki…?” he dared himself asked though no one could described the anxious feeling he felt right now
He wanted to fell into his knees when he saw Yuuki’s mother shook her head and cried harder, turning around to hug one of Yuuki’s female friend
“Keisuke-kun” Keisuke turned around when he heard the doctor called for him, “I’m sorry…”
Keisuke eyes widen, fearing about what the doctor might say next
“We… had done everything we could…” the doctor look down on his feet, feeling ashamed that he could do nothing as a doctor
“There’s nothing we-” before the doctor could finished his sentence, Keisuke had grabbed the doctor’s collar roughly, eyes glaring up at him
“SAVE HIM DAMN IT!” Keisuke shouted in front of the doctor’s face, not realizing that teas had fallen from his eyes. “YOU’RE A DOCTOR DAMN IT! SAVE HIM WILL YOU?! SAVE HIM!!”
When the doctor said nothing and just look at somewhere else with a disappointed look on his face, Keisuke groan loudly, letting go of the doctor before he stormed inside the operation room where Yuuki is
Keisuke froze on where he stood as his eyes locked against the figure rest on top of the bed, eyes closed as if the figure was sleeping
“Yuuki…” Keisuke called out his lover’s name as he run next to the bed
Hearing the voice of someone calling for him, the smaller man opened his eyes slowly. “…Kei…chan?”
The weak and throaty voice escaped from his lover made another tears escaped from Keisuke’s eyes and he bent down, grasping at Yuuki’s hand into his hold tightly. “I’m right here…”
A weak smile formed on Yuuki’s lips, “…it’s… really you…” he said lowly as he was in a condition to weak just by speaking. “I’m…glad…”
Keisuke bit his lower lip, holding Yuuki’s hand even tighter as his tears had run down freely to his cheek. “Please…” he choked out, “Please don’t leave me…”
The sound of Keisuke’s cries sounded in his ears is what made a tear formed on Yuuki’s eye before it fell down his cheek. “…I’m…sor…ry…”
Keisuke shook his head, “No… No… don’t…” he couldn’t find any words to say as the he cried even harder
“…Ke..i…chan…” a weak voice from Yuuki made Keisuke look up to his lover who had a small smile formed on his lips
“…Thank…you…” Yuuki voiced out weakly, trying to return the hold on Keisuke’s hand even just a bit. “I…love you…”
The sound of the machine next to Yuuki’s bed sounded and at that moment, Yuuki’s hold had loosened up
Keisuke eyes widen in fear, seeing how Yuuki had closed his eyes again and how Yuuki’s skin had became cold on his hold
“…Yuuki?” he called out, hoping for Yuuki to opened his eyes and smile at him again
But there’s no response, not even a single move from Yuuki
Keisuke shook his head, tears of frustration stream out of his eyes. “No…No…”
“YUUKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!”
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The sound of cries sounded in his ear whenever those people walk and stood in front of a picture placed on top of the funeral. Those people were crying, crying all of their grieve for the one they loves
From his side, Keisuke could saw two woman crying, hugging at each other as they cried in each other embrace. With a solemn look, he stood up and walk in front of the funeral when it was his turn, putting a single flower in front of the picture
Joining his two hands together, his gaze roam against the picture of someone. A single tear fell from his eye upon seeing the cheerful smile of that person in the picture
“Yuuki…” those named sounded in his lips before he used the back of his hand to wipe his tear away for a second, trying his best not to show his weak side in front of other people. He knew the look on those people gave him, it was a look of pity
They’re all pitying at him for being left by the one he loves
“You left me alone…” Keisuke said, biting his lower lip before continue, “I hate you for that…”
Keisuke stay silent before a small smirk form on his lip with a single tear fell down his cheek. “But what the hell…” Keisuke chuckle, using his hand to wipe away his tear again
Keisuke straighten up, smiling softly at the picture, “…you still the one I care and love the most”
With those last smile, Keisuke step back and walked away, walking toward the tree and lean his back against it before he sigh, watching another people for their turn to gave their pray for Yuuki
Sighing, Keisuke look up at the sky, watching as a group of birds flying there
Yuuki…
Keisuke wonder, if both he and Yuuki is a bird, being free, being able to travel around the world…
…Will he and Yuuki still ended up meeting each other and fall for each other?
Fate is something unpredictable, no one knew what kind of fate that they have for their own in the future
People often says that fate will never change, but Keisuke believes that people can change they fate when people tried and work hard for it
But the fate both he and Yuuki have, he couldn’t change it…
He couldn’t save Yuuki…
Don’t leave me…
“Idiot…” Keisuke gritted his teeth when tears formed in his eyes, gripping his hand into a fist then
“…How could I fulfill my promise when you’re not here with me in the first place?” those sentences escape from his lips as a whisper so he’s the only one who heard it
“Keisuke-kun”
A call of his name that made Keisuke snapped out of his mind and he look up to see Yuuki’s mother walking to him, a small but soft smile formed on her lips
“S-Sanda-san?” Keisuke blink his eyes, hoping for his tears not to fell. He didn’t wanted Yuuki’s mother knowing him crying over her son
Yuuki’s mother smile, “Were you crying?”
Keisuke was a bit surprised, looks like he has been busted. “Haha… well…” Keisuke let out a small laugh before looking at somewhere else
“Keisuke-kun” Yuuki’s mother called for him again, so he turned to face her. “There’s… something that I would like you to see”
Keisuke frowned in confused before his expression turn into a surprised one when a folded piece of paper was handed to him. He look at the paper in Yuuki’s mother, looking up at the woman before took the paper out of her hand then
“This is…”
“That’s…” the woman started, looking down as she said, “…is a paper that left by Yuuki”
Keisuke look at the woman in front of him in surprised
“I found that note inside the desk on his hospital room…” a small smile, a sad one formed on the woman’s lips. “I think you really should it…”
Keisuke look down at the paper in his hand, realizing how his hand had started to tremble a bit. He was nervous, really nervous. A part of him scared to opened the folded paper and read the sentence in it, because he sure that’s he’s going to break into a cry
But part of him wanted to see what Yuuki had written in it. He wanted to know what Yuuki had written… he really wanted to know
With that last thought, he braves himself to open the folded paper slowly before started to read it
Mom, dad, everyone… Kei-chan
Thank you… for everything you have done to me
Mom and Dad… thank you for raising me, thank you every love that you gave to me
To all my friends… thank you for always supporting me, you guys taught me the
importance of real best friends
To Kei-chan…
Keisuke eyes filled with tears, feeling how his tear fell down to his cheek as he felt his heart clenched as he read the Yuuki’s sentence on the paper for him
To Kei-chan…
Thanks to Kei-chan, now I knew the reason for me to live with this disease
Meeting you and fall in love for you…
must be the reason for me why I was born
Just by having you by my side, knowing that you love me back is enough to make me happy
You gave me life Kei-chan…
Even though fate had born both of us with incurable disease… it was fate that brought us together
That’s why I’m happy that I met you and fall for you
Thank you Kei-chan… thank you for everything
I love you, and don’t you ever forget that
Sanda Yuuki
“Yuuki…” Yuuki’s name escaped from his lips as he broke into a tears, falling with his knees into the ground as he grip the paper tightly in his hand that it was almost tearing the paper apart
“I-” Keisuke sobbed, “I love you idiot… I love you so much!” he yelled
Keisuke brought his hand up to his head, fisting his hair. “So why… why did you leave me?!”
“I wanted to come with you… I wanted to be with you…”
Even it was death what facing him, as long as he’s with Yuuki, no other thing matters to him
“Keisuke-kun…” Keisuke felt a hand on his head, but didn’t bother to look up and just continue crying as he already knew the owner of that gentle hand
“Yuuki, he…” Yuuki’s mother started, feeling as she could also felt tears filled her eyes. “He really love you very much, isn’t he?”
Keisuke cried harder
Yuuki’s mother bit her lower lip before she reached out her hand to pull Yuuki into a hug, patting the young man’s back comfortingly. “I can tell… that Yuuki’s really happy having you as someone he love…” she said
Keisuke tried to stop crying, but he couldn’t, not when he’s still all over Yuuki, not after Yuuki had left him, not when Yuuki’s not here with him. “S-Sanda-san… why…” Keisuke sobbed before continue, “…why he leave me first? Why it couldn’t be me who just died instead of him?! why can’t I go with him?!”
To that question, the woman couldn’t find any word to answered it, although she was touched that Keisuke willing to sacrificed his own life for her son
“He… must be wanted to see you smile and happy” the woman said, “…that’s why he couldn’t bring you along with him”
Keisuke shook his head, “How could I be happy when he’s not with me…?” he whispered, gritting his teeth as he failed to hold back his tears again
It’s true though. Yuuki had become his everything, Yuuki had become the source of his happiness
He probably not realized it before, but now he was sure…
Yuuki had be the reason for him to continue on living, for not giving up on his hope to live, for making him believe such thing as miracle and give him strength
“Keisuke-kun…” Yuuki’s mother patted his back, “Please stop crying, Yuuki would be really sad if he saw you crying like this, didn’t he?” she said
At the mention of that, Keisuke had calmed down a little as now he could stop his tears from falling though he still couldn’t stop sobbing. He pulled back, staring down at the ground as he said, “…but he’s not here… He’s already gone…” he broke into a whimper of cried
“No he’s not…” Keisuke turn to look at the woman in front of him hearing, seeing how she smiles at him ever so gently that it had remind of him the warm of Yuuki’s smile
The woman take Keisuke’s right hand into her hand, putting it over Keisuke’s chest. “He’s not gone Keisuke-kun…” the woman said, “Yuuki will always with us… right in our hearts”
Keisuke stay silent
Yuuki’s mother smile more, “I knew that me, my husband, Yuuki’s friends, and even you will never forget him… that why he’s not gone. Yuuki would always live in our hearts that connected to him”
“Sanda-san…”
“You will never forget him right, Keisuke-kun? You will never forget that you love him righ?”
Keisuke stay silent, staring at the woman in front of him quite a while before a small smile broke into his face. “You’re right…” he said, wiping his tears with his sleeve
“Yuuki would always live in our hearts… my hearts” Keisuke put a little more push over his chest as he said that
He will never forget Yuuki, he don’t think he would ever able to forget Yuuki
Yuuki would always be there with him
Yuuki live inside of him… inside his heart
People who already passed away will never be able to bring back to life from the death. That’s why when people already died, they will only continue on living in the memories of other people
Yuuki would always be there with him
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“There’s nothing we could do…”
A cries belong to a woman sounded in the room, reaching out her hand to grip on her husband shoulder tightly as both of them stares at the form lay hopelessly on top of the hospital’s bed in the room
“If you need something, please tell us” the doctor said, bowing to the couple. “Excuse us” he said, and with that he left the room with the nurse following him behind
The woman walked to the side hospital bed, kneeling on the floor as she grab the hand that belong to the motionless figure
“You’ve done so well, Keisuke” the woman said as tear fell from her eyes, holding her son’s hand with both of her hands. “It’s okay to sleep in peace now”
Keisuke could her the cries of her mother and the sound of sniffling coming from his father. He wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to gave his parents a smile and told them that everything’s going to be fine. But he couldn’t find the strength to do that, he felt so weak, and sleepy
“So… I finally going to die” he thought
Every people would fear of the time when their own death face them, Keisuke also thought that he will be feel the same. But strangely, right now, he didn’t feel that way
If possible, he felt content right now, Dying wouldn’t be a matter to him because he’s feeling satisfied
Because he had found the reason for him to be born in this world
And even if he’s going to die now, it didn’t matter to him
Because who knows, he might be able to meet Yuuki
And just with that thought, he felt calm and happy for some reason
Keisuke could feel his chest felt as if it was tighten, feeling how his breath slowly being taken away. The sound of his mother’s cries starting to faded away
Soon… he’ll probably able to see Yuuki
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The moment Keisuke opened his eyes, the first thing he saw is green. He looked around and that when he’s notice that he’s probably in a meadow, standing under the clear blue sky
He looked up when the sound of bird met his ears and saw a group of birds flying on the sky. He wander if he was in heaven, because of course, he never knew what a heaven is like
“Kei-chan”
A familiar voice, a voice that he always love to he hear sounded behind. He turned around, seeing the person that he love the most standing there with a gentle and soft smile
Seeing that person, seeing that person smiling at him like that, Keisuke broke into a wide smile. “Yuuki…” he called out
Yuuki smiles, extending his arms widely to Keisuke who gladly accept it when the taller man walked to him, pulling him into an embrace then
“It’s you…” Keisuke whispered, tightening his hold on Yuuki’s form as he buried his nose on Yuuki’s hair, inhaling the sweet and addicting smell belong to his lover. “It’s really you…”
“Yes…” Yuuki said, smiling in content, “I’m here…”
“I missed you to death…” Keisuke said, earning a small chuckle from Yuuki
“I know” Yuuki caress Keisuke’s back gently. “You’re such a crybaby”
“You’re one to talk” Keisuke pull back a little to look at Yuuki’s face. “And beside, it’s your fault for leaving me”
Yuuki smile, “I know…” the smaller man said, this time caressing Keisuke’s cheek. “I believe you have your reason while I was away, am I right?” he asked suddenly
Keisuke smiles back at Yuuki, “Un” he nodded. “Now I know… the reason I was born… is to love all of my family…” he said, stopping his sentence as he lean closer to Yuuki to rest his forehead against the smaller man’s, “…and you”
The other broke into a wide and satisfied smile hearing that. He lean closer to his lover, putting peck on Keisuke’s lips then before he pull back and said, “Now… we can be together… forever…”
Keisuke grin, pulling Yuuki into another tight embrace as his lips hovered on Yuuki’s, “I will never let you go again” he said
And with that, Keisuke lean to kiss Yuuki’s lips, interlacing his fingers together with Yuuki’s
From now on, he will be able to continue keeping his promise to Yuuki before
He will always be by Yuuki side frown now on
Forever
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So, what do you think of my first ryokame one-shot? Do you think it’s suck? Or is it really really suck?
Thanks to songkissed with her ryokame fics, I know had become a diehard fan of ryokame XDD they’re now like my second OTP^^
Uwah, this is the first time I write something that not Akame, and wow, I never knew that writing Ryokame could be so exciting as writing Akame^^ I felt happy^^
Comment would be so much loved and appreciated^^ thank you~