you're here pt.iii [exo]
title: you're here [pt. iii]
author: himawarixxsandz
rating: nc-17
pairing(s): xiuhan, lukai, xiuyeol
summary: would we have changed?
a/n: danie pretends she can write sex. danie pretends. this is still not the last part. im extremely upset.
[ part one] [ part two] [part three] [ part four]
Minseok can’t stop bowing even as the founding partner laughs, clapping his shoulders, sending him out of her office because he must want to announce the good news to all of Korea. He tries to keep his face from warming at that, bowing even lower on his way out. He waits until she closes her office door on him before he sprints to the bathroom. He’d rather no one else on the floor witness this because he’d rather his first act as junior partner be something more dignified than passing out before he gets to his cubicle.
Thankfully, there’s no one else in the bathroom, and he’s free to collapse against the sink, barely holding himself up as he presses the third number on his speed dial. It takes four rings, before a familiar, “Minseok-ah?” sounds into the lawyer’s ear and Minseok barely holds himself back from yelling into the phone.
“I made it,” Minseok says, and he knows that the enormous grin on his face-the one that feels like it’s going to split his face in half-must look completely stupid. “I made it, Luhan-ah.”
There’s a short pause on the other end, before Luhan’s voice is as loud as Minseok wants to shout himself, right now and right here in the bathroom. “You made partner?” Luhan nearly screams into Minseok’s ear, and the lawyer bursts into laughter-high on success and achievement, and from being able to feel Luhan’s happiness for him just through the other man’s voice alone.
“I have an office,” Minseok says, and he’s dizzy and breathless now. It’s Luhan’s turn to laugh on the other end, just as giddy as Minseok is-the tiniest thing triggering either of them into wide smiles and endless laughter. “My own office with a desk and windows and shit and I have to pack my stuff up and move into it today and tomorrow and-Luhan-ah, I made it.”
“Your place tonight,” Luhan says firmly. “I’m buying everything and you’re not sleeping a wink and we’re going to eat until we pass out, Kim Minseok.”
Minseok bites his lip, grin still so wide that his cheeks ache. “Fuck yeah,” he says. “Okay-tonight.”
They’re only friends for three weeks when Minseok tells Luhan that his dream was to make partner in one of Seoul’s biggest law firms-senior partner, ultimately when he was old enough with experience, but junior partner not too, too, long after becoming an associate. They’ve known each other less than a month, and Luhan has only mentioned in passing that he just wants to do well enough in his career that a good amount of people will read his articles, that he can pull a considerable income from that. That’s all Luhan wanted at the time-doesn’t want to aim too high because he’s already going to school here in Korea. He thinks he’s exhausted his good luck for a lifetime already just with that.
Minseok had never shunned or praised anyone for their ambitions or lack thereof. He encouraged and supported Luhan and all of their friends regardless of where they wanted to head in life. But Minseok’s own goals were clear cut, sharp enough that Luhan knew there was always a possibility Minseok himself and anyone who got too close could slice themselves on his dreams, sharp as they were.
Luhan remembers the months leading up to Minseok taking the BAR. For just a few months, he understood how it felt whenever he himself disappeared for weeks on end before a big deadline. Only somehow, he knew that even at his worst, Luhan would never be like this because he would never have so much riding on a single exam. He’s worked hard and works hard, but he doesn’t think he’s ever had a single light at the end of the tunnel shining so brightly he can’t see anything else.
Luhan remembers how Minseok had collapsed into bed after the exam, sleeping for a day and a half straight. Luhan is there when Minseok wakes up, ramen and coffee on the table because that’s what Minseok always does when Luhan comes out of a cave, sleepless and sunless for days on end. Minseok inhales the meal down faster than Luhan has time to refill the mug of coffee and then they kiss until Minseok falls asleep again, still exhausted from months of preparation.
He remembers the day the scores came out. He remembers the exact time Minseok comes bursting through the door of Luhan’s dorm, shoving Wufan out of the way and knocking Luhan flat on his ass on the hard floor. And then, Luhan remembers this moment most of all-remembers how his breath was stolen away with a searing kiss-how his heart was stolen away when Minseok pulls back, looks into Luhan’s eyes, and breathes, “I’m a lawyer.”
Luhan remembers every milestone Minseok passed with blood, sweat, and tears. Luhan was there for every drop of blood, every drop of sweat, every teardrop-he remembers Minseok’s first win in court, remembers Minseok’s first loss, remembers all the stories Minseok tells Luhan about memorable clients both good and bad-the clients that liked Minseok and Minseok liked back, connections forming and Minseok becomes popular amongst the firm’s contacts.
Luhan remembers it all, and as he hangs up on the call, staring at the screen of his cell phone thoughtfully, he thinks maybe that’s why his heart is beating as fast as if he’s the one who just accomplished one of his greatest goals, putting him just that little bit closer to ending up where he ultimately wants to be-maybe that’s why he’s still grinning as if he’s the one who just made partner.
your dreams are my dreams
He supposes he’d just imagined it a little differently.
He always knew Minseok would make partner-someday, one day.
(Luhan can’t help that he thought the day Minseok made partner would always end with Minseok coming home to their apartment with the good news, eating dinner at their dining table, kissing between bites of cake on their couch, having sex in their bed-and Luhan would hold Minseok in his arms as the lawyer fell asleep to sweet dreams of a brilliant future)
He’d always imagined that they’d still be in love when Minseok made partner.
The door is locked, so Chanyeol picks Minseok up and spins him around inside Minseok’s new office at the end of the day. The younger man is helping Minseok move his things in, but they’ve moved all that was in Minseok’s cubicle by now. From here on, Minseok has to look for things to fill his office with-he can bring in all the gifts he’s gotten from the small list of clients he’s collected as an associate that’ll rely with him even more now that he’s a partner. The sun is setting outside the large window behind Minseok’s new desk, casting a pale orange glow against the beige walls.
Chanyeol lifts Minseok easily onto the desk, and Minseok grins back, resting his legs lightly on the younger man’s waist. “What’re we gonna do tonight, hyung?” Chanyeol asks excitedly, hands squeezing Minseok’s hips. “Eat out or your place or my place or-”
“Wait-” Minseok blurts.
The younger man blinks, raising his eyebrows.
Minseok licks his lips, looking into Chanyeol’s eyes and suddenly the words don’t come out. It’s not a big deal-it shouldn’t be a big deal-if Minseok wants to celebrate with his best friend (his ex-his mind whispers traitorously) for one night before his boyfriend. It shouldn’t matter, but suddenly it feels wrong and sounds wrong to just say that out loud. And he knows that he could call Luhan and cancel. He could even celebrate with both of them, could bring them both out to a restaurant and just tell Luhan that the plans have changed.
“I’m celebrating with Luhan tonight,” Minseok says, and forces himself to meet Chanyeol’s eyes when he says it.
He has to look away only seconds later.
(it’s too much to watch the brightness dull in Chanyeol’s gaze-it’s too much to watch the younger man hastily hide it, cover it with one of his huge smiles)
“Okay,” Chanyeol says, but the grin isn’t as bright now. It looks like it stings for the younger man to wear it and it hurts Minseok to look at it so he doesn’t. He looks at Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Tomorrow then-but not on Friday when you tell everyone else. We have to celebrate just the two of us.”
Minseok kisses Chanyeol because he doesn’t know what else to do.
He holds the younger man’s face with both hands and brings their bodies closer with a hook of his leg against Chanyeol’s back. Kissing is easy because Minseok’s eyes are closed and no one is talking and no one has to get hurt and Minseok doesn’t have to think about how Chanyeol might be in love but Minseok is definitely not in love (not with Chanyeol). He doesn’t have to watch Chanyeol’s grin fade from brilliant and playful to trying its best to hide away the hurt.
i’d love you if i could
He wants to arrive at Minseok’s apartment either before or at the same time that the lawyer does, so Luhan finishes up looking over tomorrow’s schedule and sets the rest of his work onto his secretary’s table to have sent up to one of his assistants downstairs. He’s given both of them a break for the past few weeks so he doesn’t feel too guilty about having them grub work for him for this one night. He also needs to make stops at Minseok’s favorite takeaway restaurants and cafes before heading to the lawyer’s home.
Luhan just passes by the arts department, headed for the elevators, when a hand catches his shoulder. “Hyung,” Jongin says, when Luhan turns and faces the younger man. “Early night?” Jongin’s eyebrows are raised, expression curious.
“Minseok just made partner,” Luhan grins, “’m headed off to celebrate with him.”
Something shifts in Jongin’s eyes, a flash of emotion that Luhan can’t quite place-it has him furrowing his own eyebrows. But Jongin is too quickly smiling and clapping Luhan’s shoulder, holding the elevator door open once it arrives and sending the older man off. “Tell him congrats for me,” Jongin says, as Luhan steps into the lift.
“I’ll do that,” Luhan says, and watches the younger man stuff his hands into his pockets, another last smile before the elevator doors close.
“You need to stop doing this,” Minseok says, still collapsed back against the door. He’d come home, opened his door, and Luhan had jumped out at him from the pitch black darkness, a single doughnut with tiny candles poked all around into it. Minseok had managed to blow the fire hazard out in his state of shock and now he was trying to decrease his pulse back to a resting rate. “One day it’s going to be too much for me, and then you’ll be responsible.”
Luhan doesn’t seem to be listening. The grin on his face is too wide and he takes Minseok by the hands, peeling the lawyer away from the door. Luhan pulls him into the middle of the living room, flicking the lights on and food covered the coffee table in front of Minseok’s sofa-stacks of DVDs, bottles of alcohol, glasses ready, plates and cutlery for two people. “Didn’t get as much as I would’ve ‘cause I don’t want you hungover on your first full day as a partner,” Luhan teases, nudging one of the wine bottles. “I’ll make it up to you on Friday, though.”
Minseok laughs. He’s just about to tease back about how he can hold his alcohol better than Luhan anyway when the journalist suddenly takes Minseok by the waist, lifting him off his feet and spinning him around. The lawyer makes a noise of surprise, arms automatically fitting themselves around Luhan’s neck. Minseok’s heart thuds in his chest, a little louder than it should be-his ears and face are a little warmer than they should be. Luhan is only doing this, only being like this, because they’re best friends-have known each other for too long-and Minseok has just accomplished something he’s been wanting and working for since they’d met.
He wishes he didn’t feel the pang of disappointment when Luhan puts him down, hands and arms coming away from Minseok’s hips and waist. He wishes Luhan wouldn’t look him in the eyes, thrilled and warm and happy. “You made fucking partner, Kim Minseok,” he says, and there’s too much joy in his voice.
“I’m aware,” Minseok says, because that’s the only way he knows how to react-how to hide how much this hurts right now and he doesn’t want to hurt like this on a day when he just wants to be happy.
Luhan laughs at that, and throws his arms around the lawyer, a tight hug that Minseok returns with his arms around his best friend.
Minseok is beginning to wish he’d cancelled on this and taken up Chanyeol’s offer instead because without a doubt Minseok would’ve been happy with Chanyeol-just Chanyeol. They would’ve spent the entire night out and about Seoul, a little drunk, plenty of flirting, even more kissing, and then sex back at Chanyeol’s apartment.
but never as happy as when i’m with you
“C’mon,” Luhan says, pulling Minseok down to the carpet, settling down on cushions around the coffee table. “Let’s celebrate.”
They’re not drunk, but it’s a mistake.
It happens somewhere between the end of a movie and Luhan suggesting they switch to late night variety shows. Somewhere between a cheesy commercial that has them both laughing for no reason, laughing too hard at something that’s not even funny because then they’re together everything is brighter. Somewhere between Luhan falling backwards into Minseok’s lap, the lawyer’s thighs becoming the journalist’s pillows-somewhere between that and Luhan’s hand playfully reaching up to wipe some frosting from Minseok’s cheek from the food fight that’d ensued earlier-they kiss.
When it ends, Luhan’s hand still cupping Minseok’s face and Minseok still bent over Luhan’s head in the lawyer’s lap, they gaze at each other in a long silence. The lights have been dimmed for the movie and they hadn’t bothered turning them back up, but Luhan can still see the slight color in Minseok’s cheeks-warm and inviting, flushed from the alcohol and how they’d played a makeshift game of soccer right in the middle of Minseok’s living room with a stray tennis ball, nearly taking out Minseok’s lamp.
The journalist knows he should be the one to pull away even if Minseok doesn’t.
Luhan knows that even if Minseok lapses and forgets about everything for just this one night, Luhan still has to remember. Luhan has to remind Minseok about Park Chanyeol and how they’ll regret this in the morning. Luhan can’t do this because they’ve both been getting so good-they’re both doing so well. Minseok has a boyfriend now and Luhan doesn’t see Minseok’s face every time he closes his eyes anymore. They’re both doing too well to let this happen and Luhan shouldn’t let it happen. He wishes Minseok wouldn’t let it happen.
Their eyes meet a second time, and Minseok’s hand finds a place in Luhan’s hair. Luhan’s hand finds a place against the back of Minseok’s neck.
Their lips meet a second time.
And a third.
A fourth.
And Luhan is sitting up, switching their positions around so that Minseok is pressed back against the couch, on the couch, lying across and Luhan’s knee is on the edge. The journalist’s other leg splits Minseok’s thighs and they never stop kissing. At some point, the kisses are open-eyed and open-mouthed, their gazes never broken. Minseok’s clothes are the first to go, Luhan strips them off of him piece by piece, tossing them to the floor lightly. He catches the other man’s gasps in his mouth, catches with his lips every noise Minseok makes when Luhan’s fingertips finally press against bare skin.
Luhan doesn’t let Minseok take the journalist’s clothes off just yet. He wants Minseok squirming and writhing underneath him before the lawyer is allowed to touch Luhan. He wants to set Minseok alight, keening and gasping and grasping for a hold on Luhan. But Minseok flips their positions, pressing Luhan flat on the couch and straddling him. Minseok’s cock is erect up against his stomach, already hard and flushed, and Minseok sits back against Luhan’s stomach, rocking himself against the growing, tented, stain in Luhan’s pants.
He takes Minseok’s hands in his own, pulling the lawyer down against Luhan’s body and Minseok doesn’t stop grinding down on Luhan’s straining hardness even as he kisses Luhan, more tongue than lips. Minseok’s hair is damp against his face, a tiny smile twisting his lips as he lets Luhan flip them over again so that Minseok’s thighs are raised and hooked against Luhan’s hips. And this time, the journalist lets Minseok pull his shirt above his head, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, tugging down the waistband of his briefs.
Minseok palms Luhan’s cock as they kiss again, Luhan dragging his mouth lazily along the underside of Minseok’s jaw, throat, collarbone, chest. Luhan trails his tongue down Minseok’s stomach, licking along Minseok’s hipbones, headed even lower with a hand already fisting the base of Minseok’s cock when the lawyer cups Luhan’s face in both of his small hands and brings their faces level again. “No,” Minseok whispers, teeth nipping at Luhan’s bottom lip. He looks into Luhan’s eyes. “Just,” Minseok breathes, tone uneven and voice unsteady, “I just-in me-now.”
have you ever hated how much you loved him
Luhan pushes two fingers in, slicked with saliva and nothing else because Minseok had stopped Luhan from trying to get lube, impatient the way the lawyer always was. He fucks them into Minseok slowly, eyes never leaving Minseok’s face, watching the play of expressions, listening to the whimpers and whines. When Luhan no longer needs to move his hand anymore with how Minseok is fucking himself down on Luhan’s fingers, he pulls them out and Minseok practically claws at Luhan’s arms, trying to pull the other man in closer-trying to get Luhan to slip in faster.
Their cocks are both leaking, but Minseok’s hands don’t go anywhere near his own cock and Luhan knows it’s because the other man likes the throbbing ache that begs for release-that pleads for Luhan to make him come without touching him. Luhan settles Minseok’s thighs on his waist again, one hand gripping the armrest of the sofa, the other threaded in Minseok’s hair. He slides in and knows that it has to burn a little because Minseok wouldn’t let Luhan stretch him long enough. But Minseok already has arms around Luhan’s neck, whispering pleads that sound more like orders.
Luhan lets the pace of his thrusts build, slowly and maddeningly as Minseok scratches patterns on the pale skin of Luhan’s back-faster and harder then until Minseok has to bite down on Luhan’s shoulder to stop from screaming. Sweat drips into Luhan’s eyes, as his hips rock desperately now, just trying to find his own release and hit that spot so Minseok reaches his. He grips Minseok’s cock just when Luhan knows that they’re both close, and all it takes is one stroke for Minseok to come spurting over both their stomachs. Luhan comes when Minseok clenches down and he shouts into the kiss that Minseok pulls him into.
The lawyer’s body is limp underneath him, and Luhan pulls out and flops on top of Minseok. The couch is suddenly too small, and their bodies are both soaked and sticky. Luhan could roll off, could sit up, could pull away, and he waits for Minseok to do any of the above-hoping that Minseok would do any of the above because then at least it puts distance between them.
All Minseok does is curl close into Luhan, damp hair tickling Luhan’s chest. They’re pressed together impossibly close, and Luhan’s arms find their usual place around Minseok’s waist.
They fall asleep like that.
In the morning, Luhan is gone.
Minseok wakes up on his couch, naked and alone, a blanket that wasn’t there before tossed over his body. He sits up, reaching for his phone on the coffee table.
There’re no texts, no messages, no missed calls.
No note.
There’s just a piping cup of hot chocolate, thick and dark the way only Luhan makes it-the way Minseok likes it. It sits near where Minseok’s phone was.
The lawyer curls his legs up against his body beneath the blanket, chin resting on his knees and eyes staring at the hot chocolate. “Bastard,” he whispers.
They don’t see each other for a month.
For a month, they don’t contact each other. They don’t go out for lunch together. They don’t play soccer together. They somehow manage to go to gatherings when the other person isn’t there. Minseok is busy being a new junior partner anyway-he’s busy with his new position, busy trying to establish a client list, busy trying to now train his own associates, busy dating Chanyeol, busy pretending that that night never happened every time he looks at that wide, bright, warm, young grin. He’s busy pretending he loves Chanyeol.
Luhan is busy too. The new issue has just come out, which means that he’s in the midst of starting the next one-he’s busy getting in new appointments and interviews and photo shoots for all the editorials that are already being drafted. He’s busy getting all the departments in order, busy with rough drafts, busy with organizing the new schedule, busy with feedback about the issue that was just released. He’s busy laughing and flirting with Jongin at work, kissing and gasping against him at night. He’s busy pretending that he doesn’t see how Jongin’s eyes brighten whenever Luhan drops by his desk.
They’re too busy to be in love with each other.
[ next]
author: himawarixxsandz
rating: nc-17
pairing(s): xiuhan, lukai, xiuyeol
summary: would we have changed?
a/n: danie pretends she can write sex. danie pretends. this is still not the last part. im extremely upset.
[ part one] [ part two] [part three] [ part four]
Minseok can’t stop bowing even as the founding partner laughs, clapping his shoulders, sending him out of her office because he must want to announce the good news to all of Korea. He tries to keep his face from warming at that, bowing even lower on his way out. He waits until she closes her office door on him before he sprints to the bathroom. He’d rather no one else on the floor witness this because he’d rather his first act as junior partner be something more dignified than passing out before he gets to his cubicle.
Thankfully, there’s no one else in the bathroom, and he’s free to collapse against the sink, barely holding himself up as he presses the third number on his speed dial. It takes four rings, before a familiar, “Minseok-ah?” sounds into the lawyer’s ear and Minseok barely holds himself back from yelling into the phone.
“I made it,” Minseok says, and he knows that the enormous grin on his face-the one that feels like it’s going to split his face in half-must look completely stupid. “I made it, Luhan-ah.”
There’s a short pause on the other end, before Luhan’s voice is as loud as Minseok wants to shout himself, right now and right here in the bathroom. “You made partner?” Luhan nearly screams into Minseok’s ear, and the lawyer bursts into laughter-high on success and achievement, and from being able to feel Luhan’s happiness for him just through the other man’s voice alone.
“I have an office,” Minseok says, and he’s dizzy and breathless now. It’s Luhan’s turn to laugh on the other end, just as giddy as Minseok is-the tiniest thing triggering either of them into wide smiles and endless laughter. “My own office with a desk and windows and shit and I have to pack my stuff up and move into it today and tomorrow and-Luhan-ah, I made it.”
“Your place tonight,” Luhan says firmly. “I’m buying everything and you’re not sleeping a wink and we’re going to eat until we pass out, Kim Minseok.”
Minseok bites his lip, grin still so wide that his cheeks ache. “Fuck yeah,” he says. “Okay-tonight.”
They’re only friends for three weeks when Minseok tells Luhan that his dream was to make partner in one of Seoul’s biggest law firms-senior partner, ultimately when he was old enough with experience, but junior partner not too, too, long after becoming an associate. They’ve known each other less than a month, and Luhan has only mentioned in passing that he just wants to do well enough in his career that a good amount of people will read his articles, that he can pull a considerable income from that. That’s all Luhan wanted at the time-doesn’t want to aim too high because he’s already going to school here in Korea. He thinks he’s exhausted his good luck for a lifetime already just with that.
Minseok had never shunned or praised anyone for their ambitions or lack thereof. He encouraged and supported Luhan and all of their friends regardless of where they wanted to head in life. But Minseok’s own goals were clear cut, sharp enough that Luhan knew there was always a possibility Minseok himself and anyone who got too close could slice themselves on his dreams, sharp as they were.
Luhan remembers the months leading up to Minseok taking the BAR. For just a few months, he understood how it felt whenever he himself disappeared for weeks on end before a big deadline. Only somehow, he knew that even at his worst, Luhan would never be like this because he would never have so much riding on a single exam. He’s worked hard and works hard, but he doesn’t think he’s ever had a single light at the end of the tunnel shining so brightly he can’t see anything else.
Luhan remembers how Minseok had collapsed into bed after the exam, sleeping for a day and a half straight. Luhan is there when Minseok wakes up, ramen and coffee on the table because that’s what Minseok always does when Luhan comes out of a cave, sleepless and sunless for days on end. Minseok inhales the meal down faster than Luhan has time to refill the mug of coffee and then they kiss until Minseok falls asleep again, still exhausted from months of preparation.
He remembers the day the scores came out. He remembers the exact time Minseok comes bursting through the door of Luhan’s dorm, shoving Wufan out of the way and knocking Luhan flat on his ass on the hard floor. And then, Luhan remembers this moment most of all-remembers how his breath was stolen away with a searing kiss-how his heart was stolen away when Minseok pulls back, looks into Luhan’s eyes, and breathes, “I’m a lawyer.”
Luhan remembers every milestone Minseok passed with blood, sweat, and tears. Luhan was there for every drop of blood, every drop of sweat, every teardrop-he remembers Minseok’s first win in court, remembers Minseok’s first loss, remembers all the stories Minseok tells Luhan about memorable clients both good and bad-the clients that liked Minseok and Minseok liked back, connections forming and Minseok becomes popular amongst the firm’s contacts.
Luhan remembers it all, and as he hangs up on the call, staring at the screen of his cell phone thoughtfully, he thinks maybe that’s why his heart is beating as fast as if he’s the one who just accomplished one of his greatest goals, putting him just that little bit closer to ending up where he ultimately wants to be-maybe that’s why he’s still grinning as if he’s the one who just made partner.
your dreams are my dreams
He supposes he’d just imagined it a little differently.
He always knew Minseok would make partner-someday, one day.
(Luhan can’t help that he thought the day Minseok made partner would always end with Minseok coming home to their apartment with the good news, eating dinner at their dining table, kissing between bites of cake on their couch, having sex in their bed-and Luhan would hold Minseok in his arms as the lawyer fell asleep to sweet dreams of a brilliant future)
He’d always imagined that they’d still be in love when Minseok made partner.
The door is locked, so Chanyeol picks Minseok up and spins him around inside Minseok’s new office at the end of the day. The younger man is helping Minseok move his things in, but they’ve moved all that was in Minseok’s cubicle by now. From here on, Minseok has to look for things to fill his office with-he can bring in all the gifts he’s gotten from the small list of clients he’s collected as an associate that’ll rely with him even more now that he’s a partner. The sun is setting outside the large window behind Minseok’s new desk, casting a pale orange glow against the beige walls.
Chanyeol lifts Minseok easily onto the desk, and Minseok grins back, resting his legs lightly on the younger man’s waist. “What’re we gonna do tonight, hyung?” Chanyeol asks excitedly, hands squeezing Minseok’s hips. “Eat out or your place or my place or-”
“Wait-” Minseok blurts.
The younger man blinks, raising his eyebrows.
Minseok licks his lips, looking into Chanyeol’s eyes and suddenly the words don’t come out. It’s not a big deal-it shouldn’t be a big deal-if Minseok wants to celebrate with his best friend (his ex-his mind whispers traitorously) for one night before his boyfriend. It shouldn’t matter, but suddenly it feels wrong and sounds wrong to just say that out loud. And he knows that he could call Luhan and cancel. He could even celebrate with both of them, could bring them both out to a restaurant and just tell Luhan that the plans have changed.
“I’m celebrating with Luhan tonight,” Minseok says, and forces himself to meet Chanyeol’s eyes when he says it.
He has to look away only seconds later.
(it’s too much to watch the brightness dull in Chanyeol’s gaze-it’s too much to watch the younger man hastily hide it, cover it with one of his huge smiles)
“Okay,” Chanyeol says, but the grin isn’t as bright now. It looks like it stings for the younger man to wear it and it hurts Minseok to look at it so he doesn’t. He looks at Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Tomorrow then-but not on Friday when you tell everyone else. We have to celebrate just the two of us.”
Minseok kisses Chanyeol because he doesn’t know what else to do.
He holds the younger man’s face with both hands and brings their bodies closer with a hook of his leg against Chanyeol’s back. Kissing is easy because Minseok’s eyes are closed and no one is talking and no one has to get hurt and Minseok doesn’t have to think about how Chanyeol might be in love but Minseok is definitely not in love (not with Chanyeol). He doesn’t have to watch Chanyeol’s grin fade from brilliant and playful to trying its best to hide away the hurt.
i’d love you if i could
He wants to arrive at Minseok’s apartment either before or at the same time that the lawyer does, so Luhan finishes up looking over tomorrow’s schedule and sets the rest of his work onto his secretary’s table to have sent up to one of his assistants downstairs. He’s given both of them a break for the past few weeks so he doesn’t feel too guilty about having them grub work for him for this one night. He also needs to make stops at Minseok’s favorite takeaway restaurants and cafes before heading to the lawyer’s home.
Luhan just passes by the arts department, headed for the elevators, when a hand catches his shoulder. “Hyung,” Jongin says, when Luhan turns and faces the younger man. “Early night?” Jongin’s eyebrows are raised, expression curious.
“Minseok just made partner,” Luhan grins, “’m headed off to celebrate with him.”
Something shifts in Jongin’s eyes, a flash of emotion that Luhan can’t quite place-it has him furrowing his own eyebrows. But Jongin is too quickly smiling and clapping Luhan’s shoulder, holding the elevator door open once it arrives and sending the older man off. “Tell him congrats for me,” Jongin says, as Luhan steps into the lift.
“I’ll do that,” Luhan says, and watches the younger man stuff his hands into his pockets, another last smile before the elevator doors close.
“You need to stop doing this,” Minseok says, still collapsed back against the door. He’d come home, opened his door, and Luhan had jumped out at him from the pitch black darkness, a single doughnut with tiny candles poked all around into it. Minseok had managed to blow the fire hazard out in his state of shock and now he was trying to decrease his pulse back to a resting rate. “One day it’s going to be too much for me, and then you’ll be responsible.”
Luhan doesn’t seem to be listening. The grin on his face is too wide and he takes Minseok by the hands, peeling the lawyer away from the door. Luhan pulls him into the middle of the living room, flicking the lights on and food covered the coffee table in front of Minseok’s sofa-stacks of DVDs, bottles of alcohol, glasses ready, plates and cutlery for two people. “Didn’t get as much as I would’ve ‘cause I don’t want you hungover on your first full day as a partner,” Luhan teases, nudging one of the wine bottles. “I’ll make it up to you on Friday, though.”
Minseok laughs. He’s just about to tease back about how he can hold his alcohol better than Luhan anyway when the journalist suddenly takes Minseok by the waist, lifting him off his feet and spinning him around. The lawyer makes a noise of surprise, arms automatically fitting themselves around Luhan’s neck. Minseok’s heart thuds in his chest, a little louder than it should be-his ears and face are a little warmer than they should be. Luhan is only doing this, only being like this, because they’re best friends-have known each other for too long-and Minseok has just accomplished something he’s been wanting and working for since they’d met.
He wishes he didn’t feel the pang of disappointment when Luhan puts him down, hands and arms coming away from Minseok’s hips and waist. He wishes Luhan wouldn’t look him in the eyes, thrilled and warm and happy. “You made fucking partner, Kim Minseok,” he says, and there’s too much joy in his voice.
“I’m aware,” Minseok says, because that’s the only way he knows how to react-how to hide how much this hurts right now and he doesn’t want to hurt like this on a day when he just wants to be happy.
Luhan laughs at that, and throws his arms around the lawyer, a tight hug that Minseok returns with his arms around his best friend.
Minseok is beginning to wish he’d cancelled on this and taken up Chanyeol’s offer instead because without a doubt Minseok would’ve been happy with Chanyeol-just Chanyeol. They would’ve spent the entire night out and about Seoul, a little drunk, plenty of flirting, even more kissing, and then sex back at Chanyeol’s apartment.
but never as happy as when i’m with you
“C’mon,” Luhan says, pulling Minseok down to the carpet, settling down on cushions around the coffee table. “Let’s celebrate.”
They’re not drunk, but it’s a mistake.
It happens somewhere between the end of a movie and Luhan suggesting they switch to late night variety shows. Somewhere between a cheesy commercial that has them both laughing for no reason, laughing too hard at something that’s not even funny because then they’re together everything is brighter. Somewhere between Luhan falling backwards into Minseok’s lap, the lawyer’s thighs becoming the journalist’s pillows-somewhere between that and Luhan’s hand playfully reaching up to wipe some frosting from Minseok’s cheek from the food fight that’d ensued earlier-they kiss.
When it ends, Luhan’s hand still cupping Minseok’s face and Minseok still bent over Luhan’s head in the lawyer’s lap, they gaze at each other in a long silence. The lights have been dimmed for the movie and they hadn’t bothered turning them back up, but Luhan can still see the slight color in Minseok’s cheeks-warm and inviting, flushed from the alcohol and how they’d played a makeshift game of soccer right in the middle of Minseok’s living room with a stray tennis ball, nearly taking out Minseok’s lamp.
The journalist knows he should be the one to pull away even if Minseok doesn’t.
Luhan knows that even if Minseok lapses and forgets about everything for just this one night, Luhan still has to remember. Luhan has to remind Minseok about Park Chanyeol and how they’ll regret this in the morning. Luhan can’t do this because they’ve both been getting so good-they’re both doing so well. Minseok has a boyfriend now and Luhan doesn’t see Minseok’s face every time he closes his eyes anymore. They’re both doing too well to let this happen and Luhan shouldn’t let it happen. He wishes Minseok wouldn’t let it happen.
Their eyes meet a second time, and Minseok’s hand finds a place in Luhan’s hair. Luhan’s hand finds a place against the back of Minseok’s neck.
Their lips meet a second time.
And a third.
A fourth.
And Luhan is sitting up, switching their positions around so that Minseok is pressed back against the couch, on the couch, lying across and Luhan’s knee is on the edge. The journalist’s other leg splits Minseok’s thighs and they never stop kissing. At some point, the kisses are open-eyed and open-mouthed, their gazes never broken. Minseok’s clothes are the first to go, Luhan strips them off of him piece by piece, tossing them to the floor lightly. He catches the other man’s gasps in his mouth, catches with his lips every noise Minseok makes when Luhan’s fingertips finally press against bare skin.
Luhan doesn’t let Minseok take the journalist’s clothes off just yet. He wants Minseok squirming and writhing underneath him before the lawyer is allowed to touch Luhan. He wants to set Minseok alight, keening and gasping and grasping for a hold on Luhan. But Minseok flips their positions, pressing Luhan flat on the couch and straddling him. Minseok’s cock is erect up against his stomach, already hard and flushed, and Minseok sits back against Luhan’s stomach, rocking himself against the growing, tented, stain in Luhan’s pants.
He takes Minseok’s hands in his own, pulling the lawyer down against Luhan’s body and Minseok doesn’t stop grinding down on Luhan’s straining hardness even as he kisses Luhan, more tongue than lips. Minseok’s hair is damp against his face, a tiny smile twisting his lips as he lets Luhan flip them over again so that Minseok’s thighs are raised and hooked against Luhan’s hips. And this time, the journalist lets Minseok pull his shirt above his head, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, tugging down the waistband of his briefs.
Minseok palms Luhan’s cock as they kiss again, Luhan dragging his mouth lazily along the underside of Minseok’s jaw, throat, collarbone, chest. Luhan trails his tongue down Minseok’s stomach, licking along Minseok’s hipbones, headed even lower with a hand already fisting the base of Minseok’s cock when the lawyer cups Luhan’s face in both of his small hands and brings their faces level again. “No,” Minseok whispers, teeth nipping at Luhan’s bottom lip. He looks into Luhan’s eyes. “Just,” Minseok breathes, tone uneven and voice unsteady, “I just-in me-now.”
have you ever hated how much you loved him
Luhan pushes two fingers in, slicked with saliva and nothing else because Minseok had stopped Luhan from trying to get lube, impatient the way the lawyer always was. He fucks them into Minseok slowly, eyes never leaving Minseok’s face, watching the play of expressions, listening to the whimpers and whines. When Luhan no longer needs to move his hand anymore with how Minseok is fucking himself down on Luhan’s fingers, he pulls them out and Minseok practically claws at Luhan’s arms, trying to pull the other man in closer-trying to get Luhan to slip in faster.
Their cocks are both leaking, but Minseok’s hands don’t go anywhere near his own cock and Luhan knows it’s because the other man likes the throbbing ache that begs for release-that pleads for Luhan to make him come without touching him. Luhan settles Minseok’s thighs on his waist again, one hand gripping the armrest of the sofa, the other threaded in Minseok’s hair. He slides in and knows that it has to burn a little because Minseok wouldn’t let Luhan stretch him long enough. But Minseok already has arms around Luhan’s neck, whispering pleads that sound more like orders.
Luhan lets the pace of his thrusts build, slowly and maddeningly as Minseok scratches patterns on the pale skin of Luhan’s back-faster and harder then until Minseok has to bite down on Luhan’s shoulder to stop from screaming. Sweat drips into Luhan’s eyes, as his hips rock desperately now, just trying to find his own release and hit that spot so Minseok reaches his. He grips Minseok’s cock just when Luhan knows that they’re both close, and all it takes is one stroke for Minseok to come spurting over both their stomachs. Luhan comes when Minseok clenches down and he shouts into the kiss that Minseok pulls him into.
The lawyer’s body is limp underneath him, and Luhan pulls out and flops on top of Minseok. The couch is suddenly too small, and their bodies are both soaked and sticky. Luhan could roll off, could sit up, could pull away, and he waits for Minseok to do any of the above-hoping that Minseok would do any of the above because then at least it puts distance between them.
All Minseok does is curl close into Luhan, damp hair tickling Luhan’s chest. They’re pressed together impossibly close, and Luhan’s arms find their usual place around Minseok’s waist.
They fall asleep like that.
In the morning, Luhan is gone.
Minseok wakes up on his couch, naked and alone, a blanket that wasn’t there before tossed over his body. He sits up, reaching for his phone on the coffee table.
There’re no texts, no messages, no missed calls.
No note.
There’s just a piping cup of hot chocolate, thick and dark the way only Luhan makes it-the way Minseok likes it. It sits near where Minseok’s phone was.
The lawyer curls his legs up against his body beneath the blanket, chin resting on his knees and eyes staring at the hot chocolate. “Bastard,” he whispers.
They don’t see each other for a month.
For a month, they don’t contact each other. They don’t go out for lunch together. They don’t play soccer together. They somehow manage to go to gatherings when the other person isn’t there. Minseok is busy being a new junior partner anyway-he’s busy with his new position, busy trying to establish a client list, busy trying to now train his own associates, busy dating Chanyeol, busy pretending that that night never happened every time he looks at that wide, bright, warm, young grin. He’s busy pretending he loves Chanyeol.
Luhan is busy too. The new issue has just come out, which means that he’s in the midst of starting the next one-he’s busy getting in new appointments and interviews and photo shoots for all the editorials that are already being drafted. He’s busy getting all the departments in order, busy with rough drafts, busy with organizing the new schedule, busy with feedback about the issue that was just released. He’s busy laughing and flirting with Jongin at work, kissing and gasping against him at night. He’s busy pretending that he doesn’t see how Jongin’s eyes brighten whenever Luhan drops by his desk.
They’re too busy to be in love with each other.
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