(no subject)
i have reread my recent entries and i sound depressed. sad. lonely.
i am not.
i am grieving.
i will forever be grieving.
i will not get over this loss. i will not forget this pain. i will not move on from this tragedy.
i will hold on to it. forever.
because if i dont, then you are being pushed out of the forefront of my mind.
and i will never let that happen.
i miss you.
at times i dont know what to do without you here.
i do not know who to tell certain things to.
i still get the urge to pick up the phone and call you when something stupid happens.
or something that i know we would laugh about forever.
i keep thinking about how we talked on the phone for hours and hours.
about nothing. about everything.
stupid missouri. misery.
i wish you never left.
we only had five more years.
five more years until forever.
i kept my end of the promise.
why couldn't you?
i miss you.
i am not.
i am grieving.
i will forever be grieving.
i will not get over this loss. i will not forget this pain. i will not move on from this tragedy.
i will hold on to it. forever.
because if i dont, then you are being pushed out of the forefront of my mind.
and i will never let that happen.
i miss you.
at times i dont know what to do without you here.
i do not know who to tell certain things to.
i still get the urge to pick up the phone and call you when something stupid happens.
or something that i know we would laugh about forever.
i keep thinking about how we talked on the phone for hours and hours.
about nothing. about everything.
stupid missouri. misery.
i wish you never left.
we only had five more years.
five more years until forever.
i kept my end of the promise.
why couldn't you?
i miss you.