Your thoughts my dear
Ok so I didn't eat dinner until 9pm so I imagine this sudden burst of energy is from the breakdown of the carbohydrates. Nonetheless...I was just thinking...
Isn't it funny how we recognize these ideas that enter the collective consciousness, and we take them as our own? As our own little original brilliant ideas? I was just thinking how smart I was for having this original idea and now people are copying it, oh how smart am I? People should pay me to think of these good ideas for the world! But then I finally broke the schema, it wasn't my idea. It never was. It was given to me. And I thought it was my own. Ha. We are but sheep. Too bad I wasn't the first person to figure this out. Damn you Orwell.
I also realized tonight for the first time, that I am indeed a grown up. I was able to see some kind of measureable difference in my behavior in a certain situation. The way I reacted to this situatuion tonight was markedly different than other reactions I've had to similar situations in the past. I was able to step outside of myself, take criticism, read between the lines. I did get upset and for a moment took remarks as personal attacks, a very immature thing to do, when I realized "No, this isn't about me. Just listen. She is telling the truth. Don't get upset." Isn't that funny? Almost like a pen mark on my door way to see how much I've grown since the last line.
I feel good. Really good right now. Very comfortable in my own skin. Very happy to be in the place I am, with the people I'm with. And I look back and I don't regret a thing. Not the bad, not the pain. Nothing. Because, as I learned tonight, in came in some good use. Cuz I was able to give an old friend an ear to listen, and I was able to truly say "I know exactly how you feel. And trust me it will get better"
Ok Ok I'm going. I wrote a poem a few weeks back. I'm a bit proud of it. Actually I havent even thought about it until 10 minutes ago. But its not too bad for not having written in a damn long time. Or I guess it could be crap.
Good night
Isn't it funny how we recognize these ideas that enter the collective consciousness, and we take them as our own? As our own little original brilliant ideas? I was just thinking how smart I was for having this original idea and now people are copying it, oh how smart am I? People should pay me to think of these good ideas for the world! But then I finally broke the schema, it wasn't my idea. It never was. It was given to me. And I thought it was my own. Ha. We are but sheep. Too bad I wasn't the first person to figure this out. Damn you Orwell.
I also realized tonight for the first time, that I am indeed a grown up. I was able to see some kind of measureable difference in my behavior in a certain situation. The way I reacted to this situatuion tonight was markedly different than other reactions I've had to similar situations in the past. I was able to step outside of myself, take criticism, read between the lines. I did get upset and for a moment took remarks as personal attacks, a very immature thing to do, when I realized "No, this isn't about me. Just listen. She is telling the truth. Don't get upset." Isn't that funny? Almost like a pen mark on my door way to see how much I've grown since the last line.
I feel good. Really good right now. Very comfortable in my own skin. Very happy to be in the place I am, with the people I'm with. And I look back and I don't regret a thing. Not the bad, not the pain. Nothing. Because, as I learned tonight, in came in some good use. Cuz I was able to give an old friend an ear to listen, and I was able to truly say "I know exactly how you feel. And trust me it will get better"
Ok Ok I'm going. I wrote a poem a few weeks back. I'm a bit proud of it. Actually I havent even thought about it until 10 minutes ago. But its not too bad for not having written in a damn long time. Or I guess it could be crap.
Good night