everything is perfect if you want it to be

[hillsidemike]

Part of me believes the subject, a bigger part of me is starting not to. Perception is reality, but sometimes there's underlining truth behind your perception. And maybe my philosophy classes are just messing me up, point is I don't feel to spectacular today and I don't feel like lying to myself and saying I feel wonderful. Ever see What About Bob? When he's walking down the streets of New York City, "i feel good, i feel great, i feel wonderful", over and over again. So today, I will let myself have a bad day... thank you stuart smally... because without the bad the good aint half as sweet. I feel bad about the state of a lot of my friendships. Don't get me wrong I have tons of really good friends but I don't feel like I have any great ones anymore, at least that I see regularly. Maybe some of thats my fault. Don't fool yourselves into thinking that you are never part of the problem. We are hardly ever completely victims and we are hardly ever completely the cause of problems. Its just I used to have these friends who would do anything for me... thats a really intimate thing... in a non-gay way. I'd do the same for them in a second and I still would but nowadays it makes me feel more open for being taken advantage of. Thats a painful part of growing more independent but maybe its something that needs to happen. Still, everyone deserves a best friend, I don't care who you are, I just honestly don't feel like I have one right now. I'm a loner dottie, a rebel.

contrary to this post, people still need to lighten up.

mike!