Apparently this is what happens when you mix me, seven beer, and microsoft word...ugh
Okay, so one day I woke up and realized that I was a raddish. And not one of those pussified little red raddishes that you see on TV. I was the mother of all raddishes. Seven feet tall, roots three inches thick, and purple.
You're probably wondering, how the hell did I become a raddish? And, why am I typing on a keyboard, I thought raddishes didn't have any fingers. I'll get right to that, but first let's focus on why raddishes kick so much ass.
Have you been slapped in the leg with a raddish? They fucking hurt when snapped right. The raddish is definetly the most badass of all things edible. Plus, raddish wine is sexcellent, and great for getting your mojo on. Thaaat's right. It's the best aphrod...aphrodis...it's erotic. Hell of erotic.
Okay, so to be honest, I was just stalling for time. I don't really know how I ended up becoming a raddish. As I already said, I just woke up as a raddish. Pay more attention. Reading Comprehension, it's not just for kids anymore. But I have ideas of how it happened. One involves several fish and a microwave, but that's irrevelent. All I know is that Rivers Cumuno was kind enough to write a sad song to raise money for the experiment that changed me back. It was a really interesting experiment.
What it basically involved, was modifing one of those Realdolls to look just like me, and then the Realdoll and I were hooked up to a machine, and my mind was transfered from the raddish to the Realdoll. So now I'm not so much a raddish, but a $5000 peice of equipment that is designed to be slutty and look dead. Do you know how hard it is to find work when you're default stationary position is on the knees with hands spreading your asshole? Actually, it's pretty easy if you find the right employer. I have no nerve endings, and it's easy money.
Don't judge me.
You're probably wondering, how the hell did I become a raddish? And, why am I typing on a keyboard, I thought raddishes didn't have any fingers. I'll get right to that, but first let's focus on why raddishes kick so much ass.
Have you been slapped in the leg with a raddish? They fucking hurt when snapped right. The raddish is definetly the most badass of all things edible. Plus, raddish wine is sexcellent, and great for getting your mojo on. Thaaat's right. It's the best aphrod...aphrodis...it's erotic. Hell of erotic.
Okay, so to be honest, I was just stalling for time. I don't really know how I ended up becoming a raddish. As I already said, I just woke up as a raddish. Pay more attention. Reading Comprehension, it's not just for kids anymore. But I have ideas of how it happened. One involves several fish and a microwave, but that's irrevelent. All I know is that Rivers Cumuno was kind enough to write a sad song to raise money for the experiment that changed me back. It was a really interesting experiment.
What it basically involved, was modifing one of those Realdolls to look just like me, and then the Realdoll and I were hooked up to a machine, and my mind was transfered from the raddish to the Realdoll. So now I'm not so much a raddish, but a $5000 peice of equipment that is designed to be slutty and look dead. Do you know how hard it is to find work when you're default stationary position is on the knees with hands spreading your asshole? Actually, it's pretty easy if you find the right employer. I have no nerve endings, and it's easy money.
Don't judge me.