Where angels fear to tread
*Thursday morning finds me back where I love being as it helps take my mind off of everything that is going on around me. Strangely though….as the bus empties and then drives away Tina is absent. All that does is make me shrug and then head into the building to my locker where I am greeted by a slightly welcome sight. The sight of Miranda. 4 lockers down from where mine is*
Hey!
Miranda: Hey. *after that is when we have arrived at our shared classroom*
*Later at lunch finds me still wondering where the heck Tina is. Until I happen to spot Miranda flagging me down so that I can be at the right table. The table that is shared by someone who I have finally managed to deal with. And for some strange reason,that other party seems to be avoiding the table in question today. Once I have exchanged the usual stuff we have to look forward to I sit down and then it begins*
Miranda: Hey do you know anything about this rumor that I have been hearing?
*Blinks* Rumor? What rumor?
Miranda: Well from what I have managed to piece together via the gossip mill that runs through here….one of the people at the party we had at the Digital Bean might have ended up pregnant.
~No way….! Wait until my mom hears this….! I’ll be grounded for sure!~ Do you know who it was on either side?
Miranda: Nope. All I do know is the name of the guy.
Who is it?
Miranda: Ethan.
*Feels my eyes widen in shock while spitting some of my juice towards the tray in front of me* Does Kate know that he was cheating on her?
Miranda: Doubt it. So don’t tell her.
I won’t. But you know she is gonna find out sooner or later.
Miranda: Later being the key word. So lets just try to get through the day. *before we can get any further the stepsister who I talked with approaches our table clearly on a break from work*
Megan: Hey Lizzie….can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure.
Megan: Tina wanted me to ask if you could get her class assignments today for her. She came down with the flu over the weekend and she is almost over it. She should be back tomorrow.
Okay.
Megan: Cool. Drop them off later where I work okay? I gotta get back.
No problem. *After that she is gone*
Miranda: That was….weird.
You know she is like that.
Miranda: Yeah. Guess I forgot. Well later. During study hall we can talk further.
Deal. *at that the 3 of us are gone our separate ways*
*Later still finds almost all of us sitting around talking about the events of earlier. As much as we can much to the ‘satisfaction’ of the person watching over us*
Miranda: *Quietly* [as will the whole conversation be] what do you think Tina is really sick from?
Dunno. But I am guessing it isn‘t the flu.
Miranda: You think she is ‘the one’? The girl?
Like I said….I’m not getting into it. So lets not bother okay?
Miranda: Works for me. Well I did manage to get some of her assignments. Turns out we have some of the same classes.
I got the ones that she has in the morning. So we should be all set.
Miranda: Cool. Do you want the ones I have so far or should we both take them later to her sister?
Maybe we should do that. Both take them to her sister that is.
Miranda: Another good idea McGuire. Well….back to work then.
*Giggles then returns to the problem that I was working on earlier*
[Tinas p.o.v.]
*Meanwhile during all of this*
My mom: Well how are we feeling today?
Kinda scared still. I don’t know what I am going to do. I think dad suspects something is going on.
My mom: Well you do have a difficult decision to face you know. And a father that has only wanted you to be as safe as what he can make you,given the situation that you had to deal with.
Mom….please. I don’t think I will repeat the mistakes of my mother….if that’s what ends up happening. Just like I know it wasn’t her fault that any of it happened. What she did to me. And how I hated myself for what I thought was my fault.
My mom: You sound like you plan to keep the child growing inside of you,should there be one,and not kill it.
*Whispers* I can’t….don’t you see? It would tear me up inside if I lost something that important to myself.
My mom: Well what about giving it away? As in letting someone else raise him or her?
*Sighs* That would remind me of what she did….and how much I hated what my life became when you walked into the picture and replaced my real mother.
My mom: Tina….please. Stop doing this to yourself. You have a sound mind and good judgment. Just like we knew you did all along. Which is why I know that you'd make the right choice not to abort its life. That of what might someday be your first child. But you know once he finds out….your dad….he might be less likely to be as understanding as what you hope,when all is said and done about the aftermath of that party.
*Sits silently starting to cry* I know….and I didn’t want this! I let my guard down and someone was there to make me feel like I needed to after that happened! All of it! And he wouldn’t listen to me when I said….’if we have unprotected sex you’ll be both cheating on your girlfriend and opening ‘Pandora’s box’ at the same time. He replied….’so? Kate could care less about me. She thinks I’m only good for one thing. Looking good and not saying anything when someone talks to me. She thinks I’m as vapid and shallow as what people thought her to be when she was in middle school.’ And you know what mom? I’ve seen they way they ‘fake being a couple’ and I know that they want to be closer to one another but neither one knows how to take the first step.
My mom: So why don’t you tell them such a thing?
Because I know it wouldn’t change anything. I have way too much to deal with on my own. So why should I try to solve all the problems of the world except my own?
My mom: *Lifting my head so she can look at my tear stained eyes and cheeks* And that my girl is what you should focus on. Because if you aren’t ‘happy with yourself’ how can you expect to make someone else understand you?
Wow. I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. Pushing away the people who matter the most to me. Thanks.
My mom: Not a problem Tina. Now….why don‘t we go and have something to eat outside of here? You need some fresh air and so do I.
Sounds good to me mom.