Luck?
Ruminating about why I'm so very resistant to accepting that I'm "lucky" to have stage one ovarian cancer.
I think it's because the "luck" part is having ovarian cancer at all. And that doesn't feel lucky.
The early detection? That's not luck, it's privilege. I work for a health organization, and we self-insure our employees, so I have a health insurance program that was designed by and for doctors. It very explicitly enables doctors to do the work they trained and practiced to do, rather than being accountants for an insurance company. So when I saw my doctor for a tummy ache and she was 90% sure it was diverticullitis, but not 100% sure, she could order a CT-scan with contrast without thinking twice about it. She didn't have to get pre-approvals from the insurance company. She didn't have to assess whether her doubt was sufficient to warrant the expense. She didn't have to talk me into assuming a large co-pay (my co-pay for diagnostic tests is $0).
That's what my good prognosis comes down to: my doctor was enabled to practice medicine. And that's not luck; it's by design. And that I have that insurance? That's not luck either. I have that insurance because I have the skills and experience and training to do my white collar work very well. And I have those because I have had access to good education and was raised with an expectation that I would become a professional person. And that's privilege.
I think it's because the "luck" part is having ovarian cancer at all. And that doesn't feel lucky.
The early detection? That's not luck, it's privilege. I work for a health organization, and we self-insure our employees, so I have a health insurance program that was designed by and for doctors. It very explicitly enables doctors to do the work they trained and practiced to do, rather than being accountants for an insurance company. So when I saw my doctor for a tummy ache and she was 90% sure it was diverticullitis, but not 100% sure, she could order a CT-scan with contrast without thinking twice about it. She didn't have to get pre-approvals from the insurance company. She didn't have to assess whether her doubt was sufficient to warrant the expense. She didn't have to talk me into assuming a large co-pay (my co-pay for diagnostic tests is $0).
That's what my good prognosis comes down to: my doctor was enabled to practice medicine. And that's not luck; it's by design. And that I have that insurance? That's not luck either. I have that insurance because I have the skills and experience and training to do my white collar work very well. And I have those because I have had access to good education and was raised with an expectation that I would become a professional person. And that's privilege.