...or then I could just play and not think about it too much.
According to an old theory, three categories of role-players can be named. First, there are gamists, to whom excitement lies in strategy and winning. Simulationists are most concerned with the exact duplication of reality - Rolemaster and Harn are good examples of simulationalistically oriented games - while to narrativists, it's the story that matters the most. Obviously, that kind of catorization is not very informative nowadays when to many, immersion has became one of the most important goals of the gaming experience. To me, however, it has never been that big a source of enjoyment.
Now, don't get me wrong: until the last few months, true immersion has always been strictly included to my ideal of 'the perfect game' that I hold in my head. To some extent, it still belongs there since old habits are hard to break (and yeah, it would be fabulous to actually feel like another person wholly). I've come to realize, though, that not only am I no good at immersing myself (that I've known for a long time), but that actually becoming and mentally being my character would not, in itself, be fully satisfactory to me. Now, I'm mostly thinking about live-action gaming - since that's where this line of thought begun few days ago - so my larping experiences are what I'm going to focus next.
When in character, I'm continuously, consciously acting; the right dialect, correct gestures, suitable words, they never come automatically, although after a while presenting them do becomes easier. The numerous emotions I experience throughout the game rise (primarily?) from two sources: either I have the same emotion the character is supposed to have (ie. character is being chased and she is afraid, as am I because of my real-life fear of confrontations), or the situation in the game gets me to feel out-of-character satisfaction, amusement, sympathy or whatnot. Of course, physical conditions like my heart racing because of running can also produce something emotion-like, but those feelings will almost never take over, since all the time I'm quite unable to forget my true identity as a player. To say it yet once with different words: To some extent, yes, I can identify with characters of the game, especially with my own, but it's largely the same as when reading a book. The story gives rise to some sympathetic emotions. If characters fulfill their dramatic purposes, that brings satisfaction, if they fail to further the story or have got no purpose at all, dissatisfaction is what follows.
In live-action role-playing games one player rarely takes control over the whole story, so my approach is not entirely narrativistic. Actually, although it doesn't sound all that flattering, I'm largely a simulationist. Plausibility is important to me. I take pleasure of the plot twists and turns, as long as they make sense and other characters behave accordingly. I also wish to entertain - my character should not be without a dramatic purpose - and to be entertained.
In my head it all sounds so much better. I could try and explain my view with a few pages long essay, but as I suppose it wouldn't hold much interest to anyone myself excluded, this will suffice. I'm no way against immersion, but I don't wish to pretend other aspects in gaming aren't important at all, and sometimes I do larp, or play tabletop games, to get attention. I have discussed this with a few people, but more point of views would be welcome: wherein lies the enjoyment for you?
(I'm aware that role-playing theory nowadays is far more sophisticated than my rambles. I wrote this, because before I participated in Sabbat-larp last weekend, the realization that there is nothing wrong with just wanting to make my character interesting and to see a good show was somewhat liberating.)
Yes, about the game. I was positively surprised. During the game, I had fun, I felt that I presented my character pretty well and the atmosphere was a lot better and Sabbat-like than I had expected. My (almost) only regret is that with forming one question badly I missed a chance to detect a lie, frenzy (since my character was, nicely put, not very adept in handling emotional situations) and so give my little nudge to the plot. But, as a priest, I managed to direct a ritualistic duel and my Malkavian was - I believe - neither a comic relief nor too sane to be interesting. My recordings (the character had a curious habit of recording all her even slightly emotional experiences, since she was unable to understand them) are not as good as they could have been if I had practiced more, but better than I expected, which is what matters.
I liked my character, I may get a chance to play her again and I'm glad that I went.
On other news, I went to my first aikido class monday. Every muscle is still hurting like some hot place far below (that doesn't make sense, really, but...) and today, I should go there again. I'm in a far worse shape than I had imagined, but then, it's only good that I'm doing something about it. In addition, many courses are starting this week, and I'm actually quite eager to study - though I've got a monstrous pile of books to read already. No actual literature for me this term - again - but I'm going to snatch the time for writing from somewhere, somehow.
I had a lot of things to write about in mind, but perhaps I will scribble more tomorrow. Now I'm off to the library, and after that, to lunch.
- - -
Edit: Some things that I forgot to mention. First, I was also in Seinäjoki last weekend - spend one night, returned to Kouvola (from where we had come by Emilia's car) saturday. I can't tell whether I actually had fun or not, since most of my time there I merely slept, but it was a pleasure to see people like Sami or Petri, who I don't meet too often anymore. Initially I wasn't really in the mood for socializing, but I managed to strangle that typical meeting anxiety with it's own intestinals, be happy and smile. Truly, Sami and Laura have a nice home.
Also with Chronicles of Kouvola, one of the best parts was meeting people. I got to talk with Jonne, which is something I would enjoy doing almost any time. However, although I have nothing against group discussions, the conversations I enjoy the most are usually private and between only two people; this time there was always someone next to my friend (who was one of the GM:s so it was only to be expected). I met other interesting fellows, too - and exchanged more than few words with Connie, which I count an achievement - but sadly, failed to accompany them in their nightly crusade for a bar that would still be open after two o'clock. Drinking alcoholic beverages may not be my cup of tea, but I'm beginning to think that some of those who enjoy it may actually not be only loutish fools not worth my attention.
Now, don't get me wrong: until the last few months, true immersion has always been strictly included to my ideal of 'the perfect game' that I hold in my head. To some extent, it still belongs there since old habits are hard to break (and yeah, it would be fabulous to actually feel like another person wholly). I've come to realize, though, that not only am I no good at immersing myself (that I've known for a long time), but that actually becoming and mentally being my character would not, in itself, be fully satisfactory to me. Now, I'm mostly thinking about live-action gaming - since that's where this line of thought begun few days ago - so my larping experiences are what I'm going to focus next.
When in character, I'm continuously, consciously acting; the right dialect, correct gestures, suitable words, they never come automatically, although after a while presenting them do becomes easier. The numerous emotions I experience throughout the game rise (primarily?) from two sources: either I have the same emotion the character is supposed to have (ie. character is being chased and she is afraid, as am I because of my real-life fear of confrontations), or the situation in the game gets me to feel out-of-character satisfaction, amusement, sympathy or whatnot. Of course, physical conditions like my heart racing because of running can also produce something emotion-like, but those feelings will almost never take over, since all the time I'm quite unable to forget my true identity as a player. To say it yet once with different words: To some extent, yes, I can identify with characters of the game, especially with my own, but it's largely the same as when reading a book. The story gives rise to some sympathetic emotions. If characters fulfill their dramatic purposes, that brings satisfaction, if they fail to further the story or have got no purpose at all, dissatisfaction is what follows.
In live-action role-playing games one player rarely takes control over the whole story, so my approach is not entirely narrativistic. Actually, although it doesn't sound all that flattering, I'm largely a simulationist. Plausibility is important to me. I take pleasure of the plot twists and turns, as long as they make sense and other characters behave accordingly. I also wish to entertain - my character should not be without a dramatic purpose - and to be entertained.
In my head it all sounds so much better. I could try and explain my view with a few pages long essay, but as I suppose it wouldn't hold much interest to anyone myself excluded, this will suffice. I'm no way against immersion, but I don't wish to pretend other aspects in gaming aren't important at all, and sometimes I do larp, or play tabletop games, to get attention. I have discussed this with a few people, but more point of views would be welcome: wherein lies the enjoyment for you?
(I'm aware that role-playing theory nowadays is far more sophisticated than my rambles. I wrote this, because before I participated in Sabbat-larp last weekend, the realization that there is nothing wrong with just wanting to make my character interesting and to see a good show was somewhat liberating.)
Yes, about the game. I was positively surprised. During the game, I had fun, I felt that I presented my character pretty well and the atmosphere was a lot better and Sabbat-like than I had expected. My (almost) only regret is that with forming one question badly I missed a chance to detect a lie, frenzy (since my character was, nicely put, not very adept in handling emotional situations) and so give my little nudge to the plot. But, as a priest, I managed to direct a ritualistic duel and my Malkavian was - I believe - neither a comic relief nor too sane to be interesting. My recordings (the character had a curious habit of recording all her even slightly emotional experiences, since she was unable to understand them) are not as good as they could have been if I had practiced more, but better than I expected, which is what matters.
I liked my character, I may get a chance to play her again and I'm glad that I went.
On other news, I went to my first aikido class monday. Every muscle is still hurting like some hot place far below (that doesn't make sense, really, but...) and today, I should go there again. I'm in a far worse shape than I had imagined, but then, it's only good that I'm doing something about it. In addition, many courses are starting this week, and I'm actually quite eager to study - though I've got a monstrous pile of books to read already. No actual literature for me this term - again - but I'm going to snatch the time for writing from somewhere, somehow.
I had a lot of things to write about in mind, but perhaps I will scribble more tomorrow. Now I'm off to the library, and after that, to lunch.
- - -
Edit: Some things that I forgot to mention. First, I was also in Seinäjoki last weekend - spend one night, returned to Kouvola (from where we had come by Emilia's car) saturday. I can't tell whether I actually had fun or not, since most of my time there I merely slept, but it was a pleasure to see people like Sami or Petri, who I don't meet too often anymore. Initially I wasn't really in the mood for socializing, but I managed to strangle that typical meeting anxiety with it's own intestinals, be happy and smile. Truly, Sami and Laura have a nice home.
Also with Chronicles of Kouvola, one of the best parts was meeting people. I got to talk with Jonne, which is something I would enjoy doing almost any time. However, although I have nothing against group discussions, the conversations I enjoy the most are usually private and between only two people; this time there was always someone next to my friend (who was one of the GM:s so it was only to be expected). I met other interesting fellows, too - and exchanged more than few words with Connie, which I count an achievement - but sadly, failed to accompany them in their nightly crusade for a bar that would still be open after two o'clock. Drinking alcoholic beverages may not be my cup of tea, but I'm beginning to think that some of those who enjoy it may actually not be only loutish fools not worth my attention.