life sucks sometimes

[hilitesmmz]

what a $hit day this is... but you know what I have honestly come really far... but it's when "stuff" comes up that it propels me back a year :((

Yesterday I heard Dr Joy say "anyone can be a lover, it takes someone special to be a spouse" I really thought about those words and was like ya - wow!  Someone had an affair and there were three

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[hilitesmmz]

yes, she was very public with postings and now I cant even remember how I found her. But believing my husband all these years - it was the best that 1. it never happened but 2. she helped me to cope - how queer does that sound!

She told me truths that he wouldn't open up about until confronted. We aregued - we called each other names, we threatened each other - but what I found is with her being so brutally honest, it forced Rob to and it helped our healing get on.

she leads a less than perfect life - there is no perfect - she has heart break in her own way. I think I've checked her journal everyday since it happened, she banned me after a while, which is best - but by keeping her close and knowing her as a person, it helps me to believe that it was just lust, and that she is no threat to me.

we met in the store and even that went different than I had envisioned. It's stupid, some days I wish her the worst, and others I relate and wish her the best.

overall I wish she never was a part of my life - but I'd rather her be the past than present or future. I honestly believe her, dumb or what?