Glee fic: Freeway of Love, Kurt/Blaine, M
Title: Freeway of Love
Artist: Guffawed
Author: hildigunnur
Rating: M
Word Count: ~9,000
Warnings: mild internalized homophobia
Summary: 50's AU. Blaine's dreams had grown far too big for small town Ohio. He wanted to hit the freeway and drive until he found a city where his music career could grow. The one thing Blaine hadn't counted on was falling for the mechanic who was making sure his pink Cadillac Sophie could take him where his destiny awaited...
Author's Notes: Written for kbl_reversebang. First of all I want to tell you all about my amazing artist and the gorgeous art she made for my fic. Just go and look or just enjoy it as you read the fic. Working with her made writing this fic a joy really. And please let her know if you like the art. She worked so hard on these. Also I don't want to forget to thank my beta, sarka, who is always amazing. Also any remaining errors are all mine. The title of the fic comes from an Aretha Franklin song with the same name 'cause pink Cadillacs are mentioned in the lyrics. And last but not least, I got the name of the pink Cadillac in the story from 50's slang, apparently it was common for guys to refer to their girlfriends as 'Sophie' whether that was their name or not.
Link to Art: The Art.
Art Thumbnail:
Sophie probably would go the distance. He’d only had her for just over a year but he wanted to be sure. Being stuck with a broken-down car on some highway in the middle of nowhere wasn't something he wanted happening, not when he had finally mustered up the courage to go and try to make his dreams come true. Then there was the fact that it had been Cooper who sold him the car and even though Sophie had been as good as new when he bought her, it would just be typical that Cooper would have "forgotten" to tell him about some minor problem, which would then end up being not so minor. The guy was a used car salesman after all.
Hummel Tires & Lube came recommended, not because they set themselves up to do big repairs but because the mechanics there were supposed to be meticulous and have a great eye for detail. That's what Blaine needed and hopefully what Sophie needed.
The workspace at the auto shop was bright; sunshine streaming through large windows and the open garage doors, but the acrid smell of gasoline, oil and rubber stung his nose, his eyes becoming slightly wetter.
"What can I do for you?"
Blaine had made an appointment with what he had thought was a female receptionist but the owner of that voice was definitely not female. He was taller than Blaine, with broad shoulders and brown hair that was swept up away from the forehead in a pompadour style. Then there was his face: impossibly handsome, startling blue eyes, strong jaw, high cheekbones and delicate, full lips, currently pursed.
The man cleared his throat and Blaine realized he'd been staring at him.
"Oh, sorry. I called yesterday. About a Cadillac, the name is Anderson." He hoped he wasn't blushing, or at least not conspicuously so.
"Oh, yes. I'm Kurt Hummel, nice to meet you. You didn't think there was anything wrong; you just wanted a thorough check-up, like you would have at the doctor’s. Bring her in," the man said, turning away to one of the car lifts. Blaine allowed himself a quick look at him walking away. While the overalls he was wearing were quite loose on him, there was something about his confident gait that made Blaine wonder about the body underneath.
Kurt guided him in as he drove Sophie into the garage. He made a truly striking figure with his long lines and commanding stance.
"She's pretty," Kurt said as Blaine stepped out of the car to hand the keys over. Blaine couldn't help but smile. Sophie was after all a source of pride and joy to him.
"Thank you."
"I presume you're an Elvis fan."
"Isn't that a given?" said Blaine with soft laughter, looking quickly up as a way of gesturing to his slicked hair.
Kurt merely smiled wryly as he popped open the hood of the car.
"You say there aren't any major problems."
"No, she runs smoothly. I simply want that to continue."
Kurt hummed in agreement while looking over what could be found under the hood. Looking up, his eyes caught Blaine's. There was intensity to them, the look so charged that Blaine felt like he was being hit with something solid.
He'd never met someone like Kurt and he wanted to know everything there was to know about him, but now he was going to have to leave Sophie with him. He'd only see Kurt again when he'd come to pick up the car before going away.
"I... I'm very fond of my Sophie, can I come to check up on her while you work on her? I do trust you but you know, it will make me feel better just to see her."
Kurt gave him an incredulous smile before nodding slowly.
"Sure. You can come around when we are open. I can't promise I'll be able to give Sophie all my attention but I’ll make sure she's not neglected."
On his walk back to his house, Blaine wondered whether he'd look ridiculous if he went to check up on Sophie the next morning.
*
He managed to stay away from Hummel Tires & Lube for two whole days. It took a bit of an effort; the first day he spent at the record store, listening to Fats Domino, and the second one he sat with his mother, helping her to polish the silver. The sadness in her eyes had him out of the door on the third day, though. He wasn't going to change his mind about going but he didn't need to be constantly reminded that his mother was unhappy with his decision.
After wandering aimlessly around for a bit, he found himself at the auto shop. Kurt was changing the oil on a Ford Crestliner but looked up from his work when he realized Blaine was standing not far from him, shuffling his feet.
"Hello, Mr Anderson. I'm sorry I'm not attending your car at the moment but these service jobs don't take much time so I'll be able to get back to it in a moment."
"Oh, don't worry." Blaine waved with his right hand. "You know I'm not in any hurry."
"Alright," said Kurt. "So what have you been up to since you brought your car in?"
"Oh, not much. Went to the record store the other day."
"Oh, that's nice. Any good sides?"
"I listened to some good stuff. I could listen to 'Blueberry Hill' forever."
"The Fats Domino version?"
"The Louis Armstrong one is pretty cookin' as well."
"It is," Kurt said, wiping his hands on a near-by rag. "I tend to buy more records by female artists. I just bought the new Peggy Lee 45."
"'Fever'?" Blaine asked, his face heating up a little. He had tried to listen to that song while at the record store but the slow, seductive beat made him too embarrassed to listen to all of it while there.
"That's the one," Kurt said, rather nonchalant. "It might sound strange but I really like singing with it. It's a bit of challenge to hit the high note when she sings "feVER!" like that, but I think that's the main reason I like it."
Blaine could just nod, trying his hardest not to imagine Kurt singing that song. That was a path he wanted to avoid going down.
"How about you?" Kurt then asked.
"What about me?"
"What song do you play when you want to sing along?"
"I just... well, I don't sing along to records so much, only when I'm trying to pick up songs. Then I just play them on my guitar and sing along."
"Oh," was Kurt's response, his cheeks turning a bit pink and his voice a bit breathless. "You play the guitar?"
"Yeah, I do. My current favorite song to play is Elvis' 'I Want You, I Need You, I Love You'. It seems to go down well when I play it."
"Oh, so you are a musician?" Kurt's voice was a little bit higher.
"I am. I'm actually heading to New York or the West Coast, I haven't decided where. Maybe I'll just go where the wind will take me. That's the reason why I'm making sure that my Sophie is running well; because me and her are going the distance."
Kurt didn't say anything right away. He walked over to Blaine's car and then turned to look at Blaine, the intensity that had been in his eyes when Blaine first met him returned.
"I have a feeling you will."
*
The contrast between the black-blue of the oil smear on Kurt's forehead and his pale skin had Blaine so entranced that he had no idea what Kurt had been telling him about crankshafts.
Was it just the paradox of this delicate man handling dirty engine parts that had him in this trance or was it something else?
It wasn't so much that Blaine lived in denial; it was just that so far he hadn't been that attracted to anyone, not even the handful of girls he’d fooled around with, because he thought he kind of had to and the attraction to guys had been superficial at most. So he'd seen Rebel Without a Cause more often than anyone he knew? It was the movie of his generation after all - though in Blaine’s case it probably had more to do with James Dean's soulful eyes.
*
There were times when Blaine wished he had a convertible so he could pull down the top to feel the breeze in his hair on a beautiful day, but every rainy day made him glad that his Sophie was a hardtop. Also, for someone who wanted to find his fortune in a big city far away, a hardtop was more practical.
Of course he'd also heard that while the girls might like a ride with the top down, it was easier to get them to engage in back seat bingo, with the roof shielding what was going on.
He wondered whether Kurt appreciated that advantage of having a set of wheels, whether he was saving up for a car like that so he could take a date to some secluded spot and have his way with her, pressing her down into the backseat, pushing his hand up under her skirt, his lips on her neck, pulling off his shirt and pushing down his jeans.
Blaine was hard and with a pang of shame and a tight feeling in his face, he unbuttoned his own jeans and pulled out his dick. He shouldn't indulge, not in thinking about someone like Kurt. He shouldn't make up things about him, even if he wasn't picturing himself with him.
And there it was. Instead of the vague girl figure underneath his imagination of Kurt, there he was, writhing, reaching for Kurt's cock, pulling him closer, arching up. There had never been a real-life, hot blooded boy he wanted as much as Kurt. Even his fantasies about celebrities paled in comparison.
*
Kurt was busy pouring himself a cup of coffee the next time Blaine came by. Looking up, Kurt seemed almost bashful, his cheeks pink and a shy smile on his lips as he lifted the coffee mug to his lips.
"It's just my luck that I'm on my break when you come by. I swear I'm not slacking off."
"Oh, I didn't think you were slacking off at all. It's alright by me if you take your sweet time. I'm not in any hurry." Blaine leaned against the wall next to Kurt and the coffee maker. "Please don't think I'm here to see to it that you're working hard. I was just bored and yeah, I wanted to check upon my Sophie and my favorite mechanic."
The mug hid the lower half of Kurt's face but the amusement shone from his eyes.
"You must be really bored then."
"Well, I was hoping that you'd help me alleviate this boredom."
"You are impossible. All the entertainment you're going to get from me right now is watching me checking and tightening the belts," Kurt said as he put away his mug in the small sink next to the coffee maker.
"Oh, I doubt that task renders you mute. You could tell me your life story."
"There isn't much to tell," Kurt said as he walked towards Sophie, her bonnet open and ready for Kurt's magic touch.
"Sure there is. You don't have tell me the whole happy childhood tale about white picket fences and how your best friend was a dog named Rover."
There was a metal clang as Kurt almost dropped his wrench inside the car.
"I... my childhood wasn't particularly happy."
"Oh." Blaine felt his cool-cat facade melt away, something cold settling in his gut at his error.
"It's okay, don't sweat it. I mean, my first memories were of me and Mom and her telling me about my heroic father who was fighting some bad men far, far away. And I think because it was just the two of us for a while, I grew very close to her, I mean, closer than most boys feel to their mother. Then my father returned from the war and well, I was kind of scared of him and I think he was scared of me as well. Then..." There Kurt paused and drew a deep breath. "My mother got ill, very ill. And just days before my eighth birthday, she died. The family wanted me to go and live with my great aunt Mildred after my mother's death but both me and my father said no. Maybe we both felt we'd lost so much. I came around here a lot after school, started helping out and now I'm a mechanic, and that's my life story."
"That's... yeah. I'm not awfully close to my parents but I can't imagine losing either of them, especially not so young. I'm sorry if my questions made you uncomfortable. I can really put my foot in it sometimes."
"I said don't sweat it. It's over and done. I am who I am and crying about the past ain't gonna change that." Bracing himself on the car, Kurt looked up at Blaine, a hardness to his eyes, like he'd had to pull himself together as he'd tightened the fan belt.
"Okay, let's talk about something else. You have a girlfriend?"
"Define a girlfriend."
"Uhm," Blaine had been so sure that Kurt would answer this with a yes right away. "A lady friend, someone you take out on a date, that kind of thing."
"No. I do have friends who are girls, or I did, is more like it. They’ve all moved away or gotten married. I’ve never been the dating type." Kurt straightened up, closing the hood of the car, his eyes downcast like he didn't want to look at Blaine.
His insides felt like they had been left out in the sun, fever-hot and liquid. The rational part of his brain had been overwhelmed by this need that spread through his veins like quicksilver spilled on the ground.
"I've never been the dating type either."
Kurt's gaze was heavy, like a lead weight rooting him to the concrete floor of the workshop and time stood still for several breaths. Until Kurt looked down and Blaine could see how he was opening and closing his fists like he was trying to decide whether to hold tight or to let go.
"That's something..." Kurt's voice faltered but all Blaine could do was to wait. Then Kurt looked up and very slowly looked around to see whether there was a possibility of anyone overhearing them.
"I thought no one here... felt like that. I thought that..."
There was this overwhelming need to take Kurt's hand; it hit him like a hot wave and took the wind out of his lungs. But he couldn't, not here, where someone might see them.
"Not just you," he said instead, waiting a heartbeat, drawing up the courage to will out what he wanted to say next. "We should talk about this, but not here."
Giving the tiniest of nods, Kurt chewed on his lower lip.
"My father is staying at a sanitarium, for his heart. It's near Bowling Green and I'd appreciate a ride up there on Saturday afternoon."
Blaine wasn't sure that he understood fully what Kurt was trying to imply but all the nerves in his body were tingling.
"I could bring my mother's car, since Sophie is here in the shop. She doesn't use it much."
Kurt nodded, finally relaxing his hands and looking up at Blaine with a resolve gleaming in his eyes, hard yet vulnerable like the finest porcelain.
*
It was the kind of a sunny Saturday when being in the sun felt a little bit too hot but being in the shade felt cool and nice. Blaine was already sweating in his jacket and shirt. He didn't know exactly what kind of establishment that sanitarium was but he’d had the urge to dress nice. A blue jacket over a polo shirt, not too dressy but still he made an effort.
Kurt was standing outside the garage as he drove up to it. He'd obviously had time to clean up after work that morning. The sleeves on his shirt were rolled up and his jacket was draped over one shoulder and he'd never looked more stunning to Blaine. Graceful and casual.
Normally, if he'd been picking up a girl for a date, he'd get out of the car and help the girl get in, but this was just picking up his friend to drive him somewhere. There was nothing more to their outing. Kurt got himself in the car, giving Blaine a soft hello and a hesitant look. There was little else said for the first twenty minutes of the drive.
"This is a nice car," Kurt finally said as they were driving down the highway. "It's got some frills you normally don't see in a One-Fifty. You must have paid extra for that."
"I wouldn't know. My brother gave it to my mother for Christmas a year ago. I’m sure he got it spruced up to begin with. He got me my Sophie, you know. I paid for it of course, but I think I got it for cheap because the pink color made it a hard sell. Or maybe that's simply a line he fed me. You never know with Cooper, honesty isn't one of his virtues."
"Sibling rivalry there?"
"No, I can't say that," Blaine said, looking ahead at the road. "The age difference is too much. Cooper is ten years older than me. He's been in the army and all and was almost shipped off to Korea, but then the armistice was signed and he resigned from the army. I think he was hoping for active duty. I think my parents were relieved when he became a businessman and opened his dealership."
"Yeah. I can imagine. My father and step-mother weren't happy when my step-brother enlisted but judging from his letters, he seems happy. I don't know what he'd do if he would have to go on active duty. You’d best describe Finn by saying he's harmless."
"I wouldn't have dared."
"Dared to do what?" Kurt asked, seemingly puzzled by Blaine's statement.
"Enlist. The men. All the uniforms." He hoped that Kurt would understand what he was trying to say.
"Oh," Kurt breathed out. "I never... thought of that."
"The fantasy would become real, you know. The only thing worse I could think of would be having Rock Hudson sitting in your living room or... in your bed." The heat was creeping up Blaine's face. He'd never dared to voice his sexual attraction to men before.
"Gene Kelly."
At first, Blaine didn't understand what Kurt was saying. He just had the urge to sing the line 'Who could ask for anything more?' before he got it.
"Oh, Gene Kelly is your fantasy."
Kurt closed his eyes, the lashes fanning out over his cheekbones, making him look bashful with a touch of innocence that made Blaine's heart ache a little.
"I used to hate how I couldn't keep my thoughts from going... there at night. How I couldn't keep them to a mere touch of fingers, like it is in the movies. But now there's a little bit more thrill when my mind goes there." There was a breathlessness to Kurt's voice that made Blaine's stomach tighten and he wanted to ask more, but he couldn't risk ruining this fragile moment. The wrong word from either of them and he felt that they wouldn't be able to look each other in face again.
Instead he said, "I tried very hard to like girls, but even being with them didn't compare to what I imagined being with a man would be like."
Kurt exhaled a soft "oh" in response.
"I never went... all the way. There were a couple who gave me a helping hand, if you catch my drift, but I may have closed my eyes."
"I've only kissed a girl once. I think she might have been up for more but I couldn't..."
"Yeah," was all Blaine could muster in response, thinking about his little mental image of Kurt with a girl.
"The guys at the garage give me hard time about the lack of a girlfriend on occasion but they mostly think I'm shy. Or maybe in love with Rachel." Kurt looked down at the clasped hands in his lap.
"Who is Rachel?"
The question fell from Blaine's lips without him managing to think it over.
"Oh," Kurt said, soft laughter lacing his voice. "She's my step-brother's ex-fiancee and one of my friends. We were good friends in high school, especially while she and Finn were dating, but when we graduated she wanted to move to New York and Finn didn't. So they broke off the engagement. We still talk, which might be the reason why the guys at the garage think I might be in love with her."
"And you're not?" He couldn't fight the urge to make absolutely sure that Kurt didn't have a secret girlfriend, despite what he'd been telling him.
"No, not at all. I love her like I'd love a sister. I think she knows about me. She's never said anything though."
"No one knows about me except you. I couldn't imagine someone knowing and not wanting..." Blaine couldn't finish what he was going to say. He didn't want to put words to the reality of people's general reaction to homosexuality. Now that would ruin the moment completely.
The rest of the drive was passed in relative silence with the odd commentary on the music playing on the radio. Their little talk hadn't made things awkward as such; it was more like a certain anticipation had settled into him. Whether Kurt was experiencing the same thing, Blaine didn't know, but he could hear Kurt humming softly to the music on the radio when he wasn't commenting on a particular song. He had a very nice voice, high like a girl's but clear and musical. Idly, Blaine wondered how they would sound as a duet. Maybe one of the songs Doris Day had sung with Frank Sinatra or Buddy Clark would be a good fit for them.
*
The sanitarium was a stately building with broad steps leading up to the entry, white and thick walls and large windows. Kurt led the way. Blaine had thought he would be waiting in the car the entire time but Kurt insisted he'd come in and say hello to his father.
"At the very least he's going to want to know who drove me here."
The part of Blaine that had politeness ingrained in it was relieved. His initial suggestion of waiting in the car had been more about protecting Kurt from awkward questions than his reluctance to meet with Kurt's father.
Upon meeting Burt Hummel, Blaine's first reaction was that he looked exactly like what Blaine had believed an auto mechanic should look like. Burly and weathered and work-worn, though Blaine supposed a part of that might be due to the illness Mr. Hummel had been overcoming.
"So, son," Burt said after Blaine had introduced himself. "What do you do?"
Blaine blushed. It was always awkward to tell someone who seemed to be as much a salt-of-the-earth guy as Burt that he was a musician.
"And do you make a living on that?"
"No, sir." Blaine was blushing. "I've been working in my father's company as an office clerk since I graduated high school, but I left the company recently. I'm planning a bit of a road trip before settling down somewhere like New York or maybe on the west coast."
"Well, I suppose you are at the right age for an adventure like that. You've been saving up then?"
Despite the third degree But was giving Blaine, he felt calm in his presence.
"Yes, everything I can. When I reach my final destination I'll probably find work, but I have to have some pocket change to live on while on the road."
"And you have no girl?"
Dropping his gaze to the floor, Blaine felt his cheeks heat up and all he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss Kurt.
"No, sir. I... like being free." It felt like the flimsiest of excuses but Burt made no comment. Still, Blaine couldn't shake the feeling that Burt at least sensed his thoughts, if he wasn’t reading them.
"Nothing wrong with that. Most people might disagree with me but I do think that you should only settle down with someone you truly want to spend your life with. I've been lucky. I did love Kurt's mother and then I had the good fortune to meet Carole. While I can't say we were miserable when it were just the two of us, me and Kurt, I got a second wind in my wings when I met Carole. It's the greatest thing I can wish upon anyone, finding love."
*
As Blaine was walking over the gravelly parking lot of the sanitarium to the car, he felt he must have hallucinated that conversation with Mr. Hummel, because it had left him with the sense that his attraction to Kurt had been sanctioned - at least in the sense that Burt didn't think he was going to ruin Kurt.
But he was no closer to knowing how Kurt felt about him. Innocent flirting didn't equal an attraction that Kurt was ready to act upon. Though Burt might be the most important person in Kurt's life and might not be likely to frown upon a relationship between Kurt and Blaine, Kurt could be worried that others less understanding might find out about them. Maybe he didn't want to risk that. Maybe he didn't want to risk putting himself on the line for something that could end so badly.
Figuring out what would be the best course of action was impossible. There was no one he could ask for advice. He didn't necessarily think Cooper would shun him if he confessed to being attracted to men; the problem was that he couldn't imagine that Cooper could give him useful advice even if Kurt was female.
Ultimately, the risk was probably worth it. It was hard to imagnine that if Kurt didn't feel the same or didn't want to take the plunge, he wouldn't let him down gently.
He was still lost in these thoughts when Kurt quietly opened the passenger door and slid into the car next to him. He was staring directly ahead but Blaine saw a sparkle in his eyes, an unusual starry quality mixed with the steady gaze of his stormy sky colored eyes.
As they were driving down the road leading to the highway, Kurt cleared his throat and then said,
"Would you mind turning left down that road?"
He was pointing at a dirt road leading into the forest. It didn't look very rough, maybe it lead to some part of the sanitarium or a maintenance road for the grounds keeper.
Blaine didn't mind but he had to wonder about Kurt's intentions. Maybe there was some scenery behind those trees that he wanted to look at. There was a hopeful throbbing in his heart that he chose to ignore.
The road led into a thick growth of trees. Blaine wasn't sure what kind of trees they were, maybe oaks or beech trees; the foliage was lush and vivid green, causing an eerie darkness. And Kurt was this otherworldly being who was leading him into his world.
A clearing opened up, beams of sunlight streaming through the leaves on the tree tops.
"Stop the car," Kurt said, his voice barely a decibel louder than a whisper.
Stopping and turning off the car, Blaine looked ahead, trying to find a logical reason why Kurt would want to stop there. He didn't see anything remarkable about the flora.
"I found this place when I went on a walk with Carole not long after Dad came here."
"It's... nice," Blaine said, unsure.
"It's private. That's what it is."
There was determination in Kurt's countenance and the light of hope Blaine had been so successful in ignoring flared up again in his chest.
Slowly, Kurt slid closer to him on the bench seat. Blaine inhaled, the sound of his breathing loud to his ears and then there were lips upon his. Kurt was kissing him with his soft-skinned lips, their mouths meeting; firm, yet yielding. Nothing Blaine had done before could compare.
Before long and all too soon Kurt pulled back, his eyes wide with wonderment and tinted with the slightest of fears. All Blaine wanted to do was to chase Kurt and his kiss, but he held back, at least for long enough to see the fear vanish completely from Kurt's eyes and the corners of his mouth pull up into a smile.
Blaine couldn't help himself; he just had to kiss that smile.
*
Dating another boy sure ain't the same as taking girls out. Blaine hadn't really taken many girls out but he never had to meet up with them at their place of work after hours when everyone else had left the place. He'd never made out with a girl in the back of a Ford Wagon standing on jack stands, with all but one tire removed.
But Kurt was no girl. Lying on his back on a seat with worn lining and springs that dug into him, Blaine was acutely aware that Kurt was very much a man.
They were lying close, their legs tangled and their pelvises pressing together. Blaine could feel Kurt's hardness thought the denim of his own jeans and the thick canvas material of Kurt's overalls. His arousal burned throughout his body, making his chest and throat tighten until he couldn't help but moan.
Kurt broke their kiss and looked down at him with concern in his eyes. Not wanting to ruin the moment with awkward explanations, Blaine looked directly into Kurt's eyes before grinding his hips up. Opening his eyes wide in surprise a small 'oh' escaped Kurt's lips. Blaine did it again, almost in challenge and it was enough for Kurt to catch on and push down on Blaine with his hips. Blaine reciprocated but their position made it a little hard to get enough friction. It was Kurt who was quicker to figure that out. Rising up to his knees, he pulled on Blaine, tilting him up against him before settling between his legs and thrusting down.
This time Blaine's moan couldn't be mistaken for anything but pleasure. Kurt was more quiet but his little huffs of breath couldn't be mistaken either.
It wasn't going to take much for Blaine to come, the urgency making him push himself higher and faster into Kurt's body before his head was filled with the white noise of release. Through it, he could feel Kurt muttering "Jesus, Blaine" before his body became absolutely rigid in Blaine's arm for a couple of heartbeats.
Afterward, Kurt was like a heavy anchor, tethering Blaine who felt like otherwise he could simply float out of his body.
"That was..." He couldn't finish the sentence, not knowing whether it were his words or his voice failing him.
"Yeah," was Kurt's response but Blaine knew that this had taken Kurt by surprise as much as him. A pleasant surprise.
When Kurt's weight got to be too much, Blaine pushed gently on his shoulder. Scrambling up to sit, Kurt began to apologize but Blaine silenced him, first with a finger on his lips and then with a kiss, soft and tender, in stark contrast to the rawness of the moment earlier.
Pulling back, Blaine looked at Kurt who was trying to adjust his overalls, either to hide the wet spot that had formed on the front or make it less uncomfortable.
"I..." Again the words died on his lips. How could he put into words that he very much wanted this to happen again but maybe in a nicer setting?
"Yeah," Kurt breathed again. "This was unexpected."
"I hope I wasn't rushing anything."
"No, no. I liked it very much and I don't want you to hold back. I need that." Kurt was looking at Blaine, obviously trying his hardest to be convincing.
"I won't. Just... I thought if we were to repeat this, maybe trying it naked..."
"We shouldn't do that here." Kurt seemed to sense what Blaine was trying to get at.
"I wish I knew of a better place..."
"While my father is staying at the sanitarium, Carole is staying up in Toledo with her cousin, so I'm practically living on my own. I haven't risked inviting you around, I'm sorry..."
"Don't be," Blaine injected quickly.
"We could... I could cook and have you over."
"A proper date?" Blaine asked with a smile.
"A proper date." Kurt smiled back.
*
The Hummel residence was quite an unassuming house. There was a small yard in front, a white picket fence and a driveway. It looked very much like the other houses in the street.
Yet Blaine was certain that none of the people living in the other houses were expecting their boyfriends over for dinner. At least not the men.
Kurt opened the door before Blaine could even knock. He was dressed in something similar to what he wore when they drove up to the sanitarium and without his work clothes Kurt was a sight to behold. Actually seeing the lines of his body made the breath catch in Blaine's throat.
"You're on time," said Kurt as he gestured Blaine to step inside. As soon as the door was closed, Kurt reached forwarded and greeted Blaine with a kiss.
It was funny how right this felt to Blaine. He'd always known that it had been a sham every time he'd taken a girl out but he'd never realized the depth of the lie until now.
Pulling back to shrug off his jacket, he smelled food. Deliciously smelling food.
"Something smells good." He refrained from adding 'honey' like he was the husband coming home from work and Kurt was his wife.
"Oh, I hope you eat pork chops," Kurt said, looking down a little shyly.
"I love pork chops."
Blaine had never learned to cook for himself, something he probably should look into, since he was planning to move across the country from his mother's cooking. But Kurt had been raised without a mother so he supposed learning had been a necessity for Kurt.
The table in the dining room was decorated and the food had already been served. Blaine had the urge to pull out Kurt's chair for him but Kurt beat him to it, pulling out one of the chairs and gesturing Blaine to sit. To his surprise, he didn't mind it; in fact it was thrilling to be taken care of like that.
The food tasted even better than it had smelled. There were breaded pork chops, boiled potatoes and steamed greens and lemon wedges for that little bit of sharp taste to the dish. Kurt had offered him a beer but Blaine declined. He felt he had to have his wits about him so he accepted a glass of water instead. Kurt followed suit.
They ate in relative silence. Blaine did comment on the food but mostly they enjoyed the companionship and snuck tiny glances at each other. Every time their eyes caught across the table, a light sort of feeling rose in the pit of Blaine's belly, an airy anticipation.
Finishing up the dinner, Blaine helped Kurt to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen but he wasn't allowed to help with the washing up.
"Go and put some music on. You should find the turntable easily enough and there are some records there. I hope you find something to your liking."
There were both long play albums stacked there and singles. Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, a lot of great records, but Blaine was looking for something mellow. He picked up Nat King Cole Sings for Two In Love and almost blushed when he realized that the title couldn't be more fitting.
The smooth baritone voice of Nat filled the room and just as the opening bars of 'A Handful of Stars' started playing, Kurt came into the living room, having finished up in the kitchen.
"Oh, I approve," he said, gesturing to the turntable. Blaine who had been standing next to it, fiddling with the album sleeve, turned more towards Kurt. Most of all, he wanted to close the gap between them completely and kiss Kurt; enjoy the fact that they weren't hiding out at the auto shop, but the moment called for something different.
"Care to dance?" He asked, holding out his hand to Kurt who looked surprised but pleasantly so.
"I love to," said Kurt, his voice sort of breathless.
They shuffled around awkwardly, both more accustomed to leading but in the end Kurt ended up with the lead, being the taller one, and Blaine liked it very much. It felt nice to have Kurt's hand at the small of his back. It felt safe. They swayed on the spot for a good while, their cheeks touching. It wasn't until the needle skipped at the end of 'Let's Fall In Love' that they pulled apart. Idly Blaine thought he should go and turn the record over but Kurt's pink lips were so close that he had to at least taste them before moving from him.
He forgot all about the the B side of the record because that was a kiss to get lost in. Kurt was quick to deepen it, his lips slipping slightly against Blaine's, his tongue hot in his mouth. His hold on Blaine tightened even more, their bodies pressing together from the chest down. Blaine's left hand had been resting on Kurt's upper arm but now he was twisting the material of Kurt's shirt in his fist.
He pulled away from Kurt, just so he could whisper against his ear.
"Take it off, please. I want to feel you."
Moving his hand down to Blaine's hips, Kurt bent a little away from him, looking him in the eyes.
"Yes. You too."
Stepping away just enough to unbutton himself, Blaine was sure he'd never been so fast to shed his shirt. Dressed down to their undershirts they looked at each other and all Blaine could see in Kurt's eyes was trust mixed with want. All Blaine wanted to do was to fulfill that want. He skated his fingers over Kurt's bare shoulder, down his arms, feeling the soft skin and the hard muscle underneath it. Mirroring his movements, Kurt was touching his shoulder. It was a reverent, fragile moment like the moment before plunging into a deep pool.
And Blaine wanted. Wanted to fly, to sink, to drown.
"Kurt," he said, his voice raspy, his throat constricting.
"Yes."
They both wanted and at this moment there was nothing holding them back but themselves.
Stepping back, Blaine looked once at Kurt before pulling his a-shirt off. Kurt didn't say anything but there was plenty implied with how he stared at Blaine. His gaze was warm and igniting like a touch. When Blaine tried to step closer again, a tiny quirk of Kurt's lips, curving upwards a little, stopped him.
Now Kurt wanted Blaine to watch, pulling his t-shirt off to reveal his smooth-skinned and defined chest and the folded muscles of his stomach. He didn't stop there but started loosening up the belt on his pants and opening them before pulling them down. Blaine didn't know what he wanted to focus on, the strong thighs, the long legs or Kurt's obvious arousal, still partially hidden in his underwear. After putting his pants away and his socks and shoes, he stood there in front of Blaine, no shame showing in his face.
"God," escaped from Blaine's lips as a groan.
Kurt's lips turned up into a full smirk before he turned around and walked out of the living room. It took a moment for Blaine's brain to catch up before following Kurt.
He found Kurt standing in a bedroom, his bedroom presumably.
"C'mere," Kurt whispered and like he was in a trance, Blaine walked towards him. Slipping his arms around his neck, Kurt pulled him close before kissing him. It became the kiss that never ended as Kurt moved his hands from Blaine's neck down his body to unbutton his jeans. All Blaine could do for the moment was to hold on. Hold on to the kiss and to Kurt's slim waist. The want was still there, burning inside of him and slowly building. Every tiny movement of Kurt's inflamed it further.
Soon their naked chests were pressed together and Blaine hadn't been prepared for how it would feel to have Kurt's skin against his. He gasped into their kiss which only seemed to encourage Kurt in ridding them of every article of clothing, making away with their underwear. When their erections finally touched, Blaine no longer had a coherent thought in his head. All his brain could muster up was faster and more.
Through this all, their lips had hardly stopped touching. It was like they were fusing together, Kurt wrapping his arms tighter around Blaine, their bodies moving together in frantic, small movements; the friction and feel of Kurt being hard against him making Blaine so close to the edge that when his climax came rushing through him, it startled him so that he bit Kurt's lower lip.
Pulling away, smiling, Kurt held Blaine's shoulders as he fought to gain a little clarity.
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked when Blaine had stopped trembling.
"Yeah," he managed to breathe out. "I just..." He turned his face into Kurt's shoulder, suddenly feeling ashamed for not being able to last a little bit longer.
"It's alright," said Kurt, stroking his hair. "Let's lie down."
It wasn't until Blaine was lying on his back on the bed with Kurt at his side, peppering little kisses onto his shoulder and chest, that he realized that Kurt was still hard and he couldn't understand how Kurt could be this calm and collected.
"Kurt," he said, as he raised himself on his elbows and looked down Kurt's body next to him. "You..."
"I've waited for a long time. I'm a very patient man," Kurt said, seemingly understanding what Blaine had been thinking.
But he didn't want Kurt to wait. They were here together and what he wanted to do now, was to pleasure Kurt. The problem was that he didn't have faintest idea what he should do. His traitorous mind was quick to bring up his fantasy but the image of Kurt with a girl wasn't very helpful to their current situation. Maybe all he needed was courage.
"What do you want?" His voice sounded a little bit too timid to himself but that didn't seem to bother Kurt.
"I want you, Blaine. I want to feel you." There was heat in Kurt's voice and Blaine wanted to give himself over to it.
"You can. All of me. I want to feel you too."
Kurt bent over him, their lips meeting in yet another kiss and Blaine knew what he wanted now. Holding Kurt's shoulders tight, he flipped them over so Kurt was on his back underneath him. Looking down he was afraid that he'd find that Kurt hadn't liked this maneuver but Kurt was watching him and allowing him to take over, for now at least.
The great expanse of skin on Kurt's chest and his stomach beckoned him to kiss it and lap at it with his tongue and his mouth watered at the thought, but maybe he should concentrate his efforts elsewhere. Running his fingers down Kurt's torso he noticed the tiny spasm his touch seemed to induce in Kurt. Oh, he might think that he could wait but Blaine was sure that Kurt had to be absolutely desperate, so he brought his fingers lower still, until they were skating against the silky skin of Kurt's cock. He could hear now that he'd been right, as Kurt's breathing had become labored; he was grunting on every exhale like he couldn't bear Blaine touching him like that.
It wasn't Blaine's intention to torture Kurt, so he took Kurt's hardness in his hand, using the wetness at the tip to smooth his movements up and down the shaft. The grunting gave a way to moaning and Kurt was arching up into the touch, obviously so close. Blaine bent closer over him, reclaiming his lips in a kiss as he sped up his movements, silently trying to will the orgasm out of Kurt, wanting to see how the beautiful man underneath him looked when he shattered.
When it finally happened it was almost more that Blaine could handle. Kurt's body curved under him, his eyes rolling back as he cried out his release.
It was the closest Blaine had come to a religious experience.
*
The darkness of the room surrounded them like a cocoon. Kurt was lying on his side, playing with Blaine's hair. Blaine was mostly lying on his stomach, sated and sleepy. There were things he wanted to say but those didn't matter at that moment. At this moment he was content with his beautiful Kurt next to him. The magic of the moment would shatter soon enough, and while his mind didn't put a shape to that thought yet, the knowledge that the moment was fleeting and might never return danced at the edge of his consciousness.
"I like your hair like this," Kurt said. "The Brylcreem isn't holding your curls back."
In any other circumstances, Blaine might have panicked as he was prone to think of his tube of Brylcreem as a lifeline. But here the outside world didn't exist. It was only him and Kurt as long as Kurt's warm body was next to him, all was well.
*
Two days later, on the dreariest of Mondays, weather-wise at least, Blaine found himself at the bank. Sophie would be ready the next day and he had to withdraw the money for the check-up plus he needed to look at his statement. There should be enough to start his new life somewhere far away.
But now he had Kurt to consider. He had stayed the night with Kurt and in the morning they'd had sex again. While the acts had been much the same as the night before, the daylight robbed them of the illusion that the world only consisted of the two of them. A dread of sorts had taken up residence in the pit of Blaine's stomach then and it didn't seem to dissipate.
The ball of dread only grew in size. On one hand, he had been wanting to get out of town for so long that the thought of staying felt alien and ill-fitting. The only reason why he would stay would be Kurt and what they had. The relationship, if he could even call it such, was doomed to be kept as a secret. A dangerous secret that might end up destroying their lives.
He might meet other men in some big city and while they would have to be discreet, it probably would be easier than hiding a homosexual relationship in a small town. Those hypothetical men weren't Kurt though. He knew Kurt's laughter, how it sounded like silver bells, he knew the warmth of Kurt's skin, how it felt underneath his fingers and he knew the heat of Kurt's kisses. That wasn't something he'd ever find again.
Maybe this was the sign, as painful as it might be, that he had to leave town. As soon as his car was ready, he had to go. There was no reason for him to torment himself and Kurt with playing pretend. He had to be honest with him and tell him that their time would be up soon. So soon.
*
Later that day, when he was home and puttering around his room, deciding what possessions he couldn't possibly do without, his mother called him to the phone.
"It's a phone call from the garage, about your car," his mother said as she handed him the receiver before returning into the kitchen.
"Blaine Anderson speaking."
"Hi, Blaine." It was Kurt on the other line.
"Oh, hi." They hadn't spoken since Blaine had left Kurt's house on Saturday morning and it felt so utterly wrong to Blaine that their next conversation should be over the phone and within the earshot of other people.
"So your car is ready."
"Oh, great," Blaine answered though it felt like the greatest lie he'd ever told. This meant that his fleeting time with Kurt was over. Maybe he could hope for one more encounter and then they would part ways.
"I was thinking that you could come and pick her up at my place. It's closer to your house than the auto shop, right?"
Blaine's heart hammered in his chest, hearing the flirtatious tone in Kurt's voice. Kurt probably was hoping for a repeat of what happened Friday night and Blaine hated himself already for dashing that hope.
"It's closer so it would be more convenient, yeah." He toed the carpet.
"Can you be at my place around seven? Would that work for you?" The flirtatiousness had gone from Kurt's voice, replaced by unsureness.
"Yeah, yeah, I can." Blaine realized he'd been twisting the telephone cord around his hand and he'd have to untangle himself.
"See you then."
He prayed that he'd been imaging the resigned tone in Kurt's voice, but that was without doubt in vain.
*
Kurt answered the door, wearing what he'd probably been wearing underneath his coveralls at work, A white t-shirt and blue jeans. A very simple get-up, though it didn't detract from Kurt's attractiveness, quite the contrary in fact.
"Hey, come in." He was cheerful enough but it didn't calm Blaine's nerves. Stepping inside with his hands deep in his pockets, he looked at Kurt before turning his gaze to the floor.
"So," Kurt began, "the car is ready. There was nothing we needed to do or replace so it's just gonna be the work hours we'll charge you for."
"Okay," was all Blaine could say. There were so many things he wanted to say to Kurt; to ask him to forgive him, ask him to kiss him one last time, ask him never to forget him. The words were stuck, wedged in his throat and all he could do was to stare at the floor.
"Blaine, look at me."
Kurt's voice wasn't commanding but he wasn't pleading with Blaine either. There was curiosity there but mainly concern. Still, Blaine couldn't look up, the wedge in his throat was turning into a hard lump and his breath had started to shake a little. His eyes stung.
"Is it... do you regret what we did?" The concern in Kurt's voice was giving way to sadness.
Blaine's next inhale turned into a sob and suddenly there were hands holding his face, tilting it up.
"Blaine... what is it? Tell me, please tell me."
"I..." Another sob wrecked him. "I don't regret it. I... I don't want it to end. Never..."
"Blaine," Kurt breathed before wrapping Blaine up in his arms. Blaine buried his face into Kurt's shoulder.
"Why do you think it's going to end?"
"I'm leaving, I told you." It was hard for Blaine to control his voice but he had to try, he owed Kurt that much and so much more.
"Oh, so that's what this is about. Of course, I never told you... Blaine, I'm leaving too."
"What?" Blaine pulled up from Kurt's shoulder, trying to focus on his face through the tears.
"I'm leaving Lima as well. I haven't figured out the details yet, except, well, I have money saved. And my father did tell me I should ask whether I could come along with you."
"I..." Blaine was lost for words. He rubbed a hand over his face. This hadn't occurred to him, probably out of a sense of self-preservation.
"I was going to ask you earlier but I was afraid you wouldn't want to. So I'm asking you now, could I come along for the ride? It doesn't matter to me where we'll go, New York, Los Angeles, somewhere that isn't Lima. I can pay for the gas, at least for half of the way and..."
"Kurt, yes. It's crazy but yes, there's nothing I want more than to take you with me."
All that needed to be said was said. Blaine's lips found Kurt's in a kiss into which he poured every ounce of feeling he had in his body. Relief, fear, lust and above all, love.
*
The sun was setting over a plain somewhere in the mid-west of America. The stretch of road was empty, except for the pink Cadillac that was stopped on the side of the road. Two men were leaning against it; they had stopped for a snack and were enjoying the fact that they were standing after ten hours of driving through endless wheat fields and pastures. At one point they had tried a game where they counted all the red barns they could see, but gave up after when the number had gone into three digits.
When they got back into the car, the sky was almost the same pale pink as the car and the sun was merely a sliver of light peaking over the horizon like it was promising a bright future at the end of that endless road.
The man in the driver's seat reached over and gently planted a kiss on the lips of the other man.
"Straight ahead?"
"Yes, and don't ever look back."
-fin
Artist: Guffawed
Author: hildigunnur
Rating: M
Word Count: ~9,000
Warnings: mild internalized homophobia
Summary: 50's AU. Blaine's dreams had grown far too big for small town Ohio. He wanted to hit the freeway and drive until he found a city where his music career could grow. The one thing Blaine hadn't counted on was falling for the mechanic who was making sure his pink Cadillac Sophie could take him where his destiny awaited...
Author's Notes: Written for kbl_reversebang. First of all I want to tell you all about my amazing artist and the gorgeous art she made for my fic. Just go and look or just enjoy it as you read the fic. Working with her made writing this fic a joy really. And please let her know if you like the art. She worked so hard on these. Also I don't want to forget to thank my beta, sarka, who is always amazing. Also any remaining errors are all mine. The title of the fic comes from an Aretha Franklin song with the same name 'cause pink Cadillacs are mentioned in the lyrics. And last but not least, I got the name of the pink Cadillac in the story from 50's slang, apparently it was common for guys to refer to their girlfriends as 'Sophie' whether that was their name or not.
Link to Art: The Art.
Art Thumbnail:
Sophie probably would go the distance. He’d only had her for just over a year but he wanted to be sure. Being stuck with a broken-down car on some highway in the middle of nowhere wasn't something he wanted happening, not when he had finally mustered up the courage to go and try to make his dreams come true. Then there was the fact that it had been Cooper who sold him the car and even though Sophie had been as good as new when he bought her, it would just be typical that Cooper would have "forgotten" to tell him about some minor problem, which would then end up being not so minor. The guy was a used car salesman after all.
Hummel Tires & Lube came recommended, not because they set themselves up to do big repairs but because the mechanics there were supposed to be meticulous and have a great eye for detail. That's what Blaine needed and hopefully what Sophie needed.
The workspace at the auto shop was bright; sunshine streaming through large windows and the open garage doors, but the acrid smell of gasoline, oil and rubber stung his nose, his eyes becoming slightly wetter.
"What can I do for you?"
Blaine had made an appointment with what he had thought was a female receptionist but the owner of that voice was definitely not female. He was taller than Blaine, with broad shoulders and brown hair that was swept up away from the forehead in a pompadour style. Then there was his face: impossibly handsome, startling blue eyes, strong jaw, high cheekbones and delicate, full lips, currently pursed.
The man cleared his throat and Blaine realized he'd been staring at him.
"Oh, sorry. I called yesterday. About a Cadillac, the name is Anderson." He hoped he wasn't blushing, or at least not conspicuously so.
"Oh, yes. I'm Kurt Hummel, nice to meet you. You didn't think there was anything wrong; you just wanted a thorough check-up, like you would have at the doctor’s. Bring her in," the man said, turning away to one of the car lifts. Blaine allowed himself a quick look at him walking away. While the overalls he was wearing were quite loose on him, there was something about his confident gait that made Blaine wonder about the body underneath.
Kurt guided him in as he drove Sophie into the garage. He made a truly striking figure with his long lines and commanding stance.
"She's pretty," Kurt said as Blaine stepped out of the car to hand the keys over. Blaine couldn't help but smile. Sophie was after all a source of pride and joy to him.
"Thank you."
"I presume you're an Elvis fan."
"Isn't that a given?" said Blaine with soft laughter, looking quickly up as a way of gesturing to his slicked hair.
Kurt merely smiled wryly as he popped open the hood of the car.
"You say there aren't any major problems."
"No, she runs smoothly. I simply want that to continue."
Kurt hummed in agreement while looking over what could be found under the hood. Looking up, his eyes caught Blaine's. There was intensity to them, the look so charged that Blaine felt like he was being hit with something solid.
He'd never met someone like Kurt and he wanted to know everything there was to know about him, but now he was going to have to leave Sophie with him. He'd only see Kurt again when he'd come to pick up the car before going away.
"I... I'm very fond of my Sophie, can I come to check up on her while you work on her? I do trust you but you know, it will make me feel better just to see her."
Kurt gave him an incredulous smile before nodding slowly.
"Sure. You can come around when we are open. I can't promise I'll be able to give Sophie all my attention but I’ll make sure she's not neglected."
On his walk back to his house, Blaine wondered whether he'd look ridiculous if he went to check up on Sophie the next morning.
*
He managed to stay away from Hummel Tires & Lube for two whole days. It took a bit of an effort; the first day he spent at the record store, listening to Fats Domino, and the second one he sat with his mother, helping her to polish the silver. The sadness in her eyes had him out of the door on the third day, though. He wasn't going to change his mind about going but he didn't need to be constantly reminded that his mother was unhappy with his decision.
After wandering aimlessly around for a bit, he found himself at the auto shop. Kurt was changing the oil on a Ford Crestliner but looked up from his work when he realized Blaine was standing not far from him, shuffling his feet.
"Hello, Mr Anderson. I'm sorry I'm not attending your car at the moment but these service jobs don't take much time so I'll be able to get back to it in a moment."
"Oh, don't worry." Blaine waved with his right hand. "You know I'm not in any hurry."
"Alright," said Kurt. "So what have you been up to since you brought your car in?"
"Oh, not much. Went to the record store the other day."
"Oh, that's nice. Any good sides?"
"I listened to some good stuff. I could listen to 'Blueberry Hill' forever."
"The Fats Domino version?"
"The Louis Armstrong one is pretty cookin' as well."
"It is," Kurt said, wiping his hands on a near-by rag. "I tend to buy more records by female artists. I just bought the new Peggy Lee 45."
"'Fever'?" Blaine asked, his face heating up a little. He had tried to listen to that song while at the record store but the slow, seductive beat made him too embarrassed to listen to all of it while there.
"That's the one," Kurt said, rather nonchalant. "It might sound strange but I really like singing with it. It's a bit of challenge to hit the high note when she sings "feVER!" like that, but I think that's the main reason I like it."
Blaine could just nod, trying his hardest not to imagine Kurt singing that song. That was a path he wanted to avoid going down.
"How about you?" Kurt then asked.
"What about me?"
"What song do you play when you want to sing along?"
"I just... well, I don't sing along to records so much, only when I'm trying to pick up songs. Then I just play them on my guitar and sing along."
"Oh," was Kurt's response, his cheeks turning a bit pink and his voice a bit breathless. "You play the guitar?"
"Yeah, I do. My current favorite song to play is Elvis' 'I Want You, I Need You, I Love You'. It seems to go down well when I play it."
"Oh, so you are a musician?" Kurt's voice was a little bit higher.
"I am. I'm actually heading to New York or the West Coast, I haven't decided where. Maybe I'll just go where the wind will take me. That's the reason why I'm making sure that my Sophie is running well; because me and her are going the distance."
Kurt didn't say anything right away. He walked over to Blaine's car and then turned to look at Blaine, the intensity that had been in his eyes when Blaine first met him returned.
"I have a feeling you will."
*
The contrast between the black-blue of the oil smear on Kurt's forehead and his pale skin had Blaine so entranced that he had no idea what Kurt had been telling him about crankshafts.
Was it just the paradox of this delicate man handling dirty engine parts that had him in this trance or was it something else?
It wasn't so much that Blaine lived in denial; it was just that so far he hadn't been that attracted to anyone, not even the handful of girls he’d fooled around with, because he thought he kind of had to and the attraction to guys had been superficial at most. So he'd seen Rebel Without a Cause more often than anyone he knew? It was the movie of his generation after all - though in Blaine’s case it probably had more to do with James Dean's soulful eyes.
*
There were times when Blaine wished he had a convertible so he could pull down the top to feel the breeze in his hair on a beautiful day, but every rainy day made him glad that his Sophie was a hardtop. Also, for someone who wanted to find his fortune in a big city far away, a hardtop was more practical.
Of course he'd also heard that while the girls might like a ride with the top down, it was easier to get them to engage in back seat bingo, with the roof shielding what was going on.
He wondered whether Kurt appreciated that advantage of having a set of wheels, whether he was saving up for a car like that so he could take a date to some secluded spot and have his way with her, pressing her down into the backseat, pushing his hand up under her skirt, his lips on her neck, pulling off his shirt and pushing down his jeans.
Blaine was hard and with a pang of shame and a tight feeling in his face, he unbuttoned his own jeans and pulled out his dick. He shouldn't indulge, not in thinking about someone like Kurt. He shouldn't make up things about him, even if he wasn't picturing himself with him.
And there it was. Instead of the vague girl figure underneath his imagination of Kurt, there he was, writhing, reaching for Kurt's cock, pulling him closer, arching up. There had never been a real-life, hot blooded boy he wanted as much as Kurt. Even his fantasies about celebrities paled in comparison.
*
Kurt was busy pouring himself a cup of coffee the next time Blaine came by. Looking up, Kurt seemed almost bashful, his cheeks pink and a shy smile on his lips as he lifted the coffee mug to his lips.
"It's just my luck that I'm on my break when you come by. I swear I'm not slacking off."
"Oh, I didn't think you were slacking off at all. It's alright by me if you take your sweet time. I'm not in any hurry." Blaine leaned against the wall next to Kurt and the coffee maker. "Please don't think I'm here to see to it that you're working hard. I was just bored and yeah, I wanted to check upon my Sophie and my favorite mechanic."
The mug hid the lower half of Kurt's face but the amusement shone from his eyes.
"You must be really bored then."
"Well, I was hoping that you'd help me alleviate this boredom."
"You are impossible. All the entertainment you're going to get from me right now is watching me checking and tightening the belts," Kurt said as he put away his mug in the small sink next to the coffee maker.
"Oh, I doubt that task renders you mute. You could tell me your life story."
"There isn't much to tell," Kurt said as he walked towards Sophie, her bonnet open and ready for Kurt's magic touch.
"Sure there is. You don't have tell me the whole happy childhood tale about white picket fences and how your best friend was a dog named Rover."
There was a metal clang as Kurt almost dropped his wrench inside the car.
"I... my childhood wasn't particularly happy."
"Oh." Blaine felt his cool-cat facade melt away, something cold settling in his gut at his error.
"It's okay, don't sweat it. I mean, my first memories were of me and Mom and her telling me about my heroic father who was fighting some bad men far, far away. And I think because it was just the two of us for a while, I grew very close to her, I mean, closer than most boys feel to their mother. Then my father returned from the war and well, I was kind of scared of him and I think he was scared of me as well. Then..." There Kurt paused and drew a deep breath. "My mother got ill, very ill. And just days before my eighth birthday, she died. The family wanted me to go and live with my great aunt Mildred after my mother's death but both me and my father said no. Maybe we both felt we'd lost so much. I came around here a lot after school, started helping out and now I'm a mechanic, and that's my life story."
"That's... yeah. I'm not awfully close to my parents but I can't imagine losing either of them, especially not so young. I'm sorry if my questions made you uncomfortable. I can really put my foot in it sometimes."
"I said don't sweat it. It's over and done. I am who I am and crying about the past ain't gonna change that." Bracing himself on the car, Kurt looked up at Blaine, a hardness to his eyes, like he'd had to pull himself together as he'd tightened the fan belt.
"Okay, let's talk about something else. You have a girlfriend?"
"Define a girlfriend."
"Uhm," Blaine had been so sure that Kurt would answer this with a yes right away. "A lady friend, someone you take out on a date, that kind of thing."
"No. I do have friends who are girls, or I did, is more like it. They’ve all moved away or gotten married. I’ve never been the dating type." Kurt straightened up, closing the hood of the car, his eyes downcast like he didn't want to look at Blaine.
His insides felt like they had been left out in the sun, fever-hot and liquid. The rational part of his brain had been overwhelmed by this need that spread through his veins like quicksilver spilled on the ground.
"I've never been the dating type either."
Kurt's gaze was heavy, like a lead weight rooting him to the concrete floor of the workshop and time stood still for several breaths. Until Kurt looked down and Blaine could see how he was opening and closing his fists like he was trying to decide whether to hold tight or to let go.
"That's something..." Kurt's voice faltered but all Blaine could do was to wait. Then Kurt looked up and very slowly looked around to see whether there was a possibility of anyone overhearing them.
"I thought no one here... felt like that. I thought that..."
There was this overwhelming need to take Kurt's hand; it hit him like a hot wave and took the wind out of his lungs. But he couldn't, not here, where someone might see them.
"Not just you," he said instead, waiting a heartbeat, drawing up the courage to will out what he wanted to say next. "We should talk about this, but not here."
Giving the tiniest of nods, Kurt chewed on his lower lip.
"My father is staying at a sanitarium, for his heart. It's near Bowling Green and I'd appreciate a ride up there on Saturday afternoon."
Blaine wasn't sure that he understood fully what Kurt was trying to imply but all the nerves in his body were tingling.
"I could bring my mother's car, since Sophie is here in the shop. She doesn't use it much."
Kurt nodded, finally relaxing his hands and looking up at Blaine with a resolve gleaming in his eyes, hard yet vulnerable like the finest porcelain.
*
It was the kind of a sunny Saturday when being in the sun felt a little bit too hot but being in the shade felt cool and nice. Blaine was already sweating in his jacket and shirt. He didn't know exactly what kind of establishment that sanitarium was but he’d had the urge to dress nice. A blue jacket over a polo shirt, not too dressy but still he made an effort.
Kurt was standing outside the garage as he drove up to it. He'd obviously had time to clean up after work that morning. The sleeves on his shirt were rolled up and his jacket was draped over one shoulder and he'd never looked more stunning to Blaine. Graceful and casual.
Normally, if he'd been picking up a girl for a date, he'd get out of the car and help the girl get in, but this was just picking up his friend to drive him somewhere. There was nothing more to their outing. Kurt got himself in the car, giving Blaine a soft hello and a hesitant look. There was little else said for the first twenty minutes of the drive.
"This is a nice car," Kurt finally said as they were driving down the highway. "It's got some frills you normally don't see in a One-Fifty. You must have paid extra for that."
"I wouldn't know. My brother gave it to my mother for Christmas a year ago. I’m sure he got it spruced up to begin with. He got me my Sophie, you know. I paid for it of course, but I think I got it for cheap because the pink color made it a hard sell. Or maybe that's simply a line he fed me. You never know with Cooper, honesty isn't one of his virtues."
"Sibling rivalry there?"
"No, I can't say that," Blaine said, looking ahead at the road. "The age difference is too much. Cooper is ten years older than me. He's been in the army and all and was almost shipped off to Korea, but then the armistice was signed and he resigned from the army. I think he was hoping for active duty. I think my parents were relieved when he became a businessman and opened his dealership."
"Yeah. I can imagine. My father and step-mother weren't happy when my step-brother enlisted but judging from his letters, he seems happy. I don't know what he'd do if he would have to go on active duty. You’d best describe Finn by saying he's harmless."
"I wouldn't have dared."
"Dared to do what?" Kurt asked, seemingly puzzled by Blaine's statement.
"Enlist. The men. All the uniforms." He hoped that Kurt would understand what he was trying to say.
"Oh," Kurt breathed out. "I never... thought of that."
"The fantasy would become real, you know. The only thing worse I could think of would be having Rock Hudson sitting in your living room or... in your bed." The heat was creeping up Blaine's face. He'd never dared to voice his sexual attraction to men before.
"Gene Kelly."
At first, Blaine didn't understand what Kurt was saying. He just had the urge to sing the line 'Who could ask for anything more?' before he got it.
"Oh, Gene Kelly is your fantasy."
Kurt closed his eyes, the lashes fanning out over his cheekbones, making him look bashful with a touch of innocence that made Blaine's heart ache a little.
"I used to hate how I couldn't keep my thoughts from going... there at night. How I couldn't keep them to a mere touch of fingers, like it is in the movies. But now there's a little bit more thrill when my mind goes there." There was a breathlessness to Kurt's voice that made Blaine's stomach tighten and he wanted to ask more, but he couldn't risk ruining this fragile moment. The wrong word from either of them and he felt that they wouldn't be able to look each other in face again.
Instead he said, "I tried very hard to like girls, but even being with them didn't compare to what I imagined being with a man would be like."
Kurt exhaled a soft "oh" in response.
"I never went... all the way. There were a couple who gave me a helping hand, if you catch my drift, but I may have closed my eyes."
"I've only kissed a girl once. I think she might have been up for more but I couldn't..."
"Yeah," was all Blaine could muster in response, thinking about his little mental image of Kurt with a girl.
"The guys at the garage give me hard time about the lack of a girlfriend on occasion but they mostly think I'm shy. Or maybe in love with Rachel." Kurt looked down at the clasped hands in his lap.
"Who is Rachel?"
The question fell from Blaine's lips without him managing to think it over.
"Oh," Kurt said, soft laughter lacing his voice. "She's my step-brother's ex-fiancee and one of my friends. We were good friends in high school, especially while she and Finn were dating, but when we graduated she wanted to move to New York and Finn didn't. So they broke off the engagement. We still talk, which might be the reason why the guys at the garage think I might be in love with her."
"And you're not?" He couldn't fight the urge to make absolutely sure that Kurt didn't have a secret girlfriend, despite what he'd been telling him.
"No, not at all. I love her like I'd love a sister. I think she knows about me. She's never said anything though."
"No one knows about me except you. I couldn't imagine someone knowing and not wanting..." Blaine couldn't finish what he was going to say. He didn't want to put words to the reality of people's general reaction to homosexuality. Now that would ruin the moment completely.
The rest of the drive was passed in relative silence with the odd commentary on the music playing on the radio. Their little talk hadn't made things awkward as such; it was more like a certain anticipation had settled into him. Whether Kurt was experiencing the same thing, Blaine didn't know, but he could hear Kurt humming softly to the music on the radio when he wasn't commenting on a particular song. He had a very nice voice, high like a girl's but clear and musical. Idly, Blaine wondered how they would sound as a duet. Maybe one of the songs Doris Day had sung with Frank Sinatra or Buddy Clark would be a good fit for them.
*
The sanitarium was a stately building with broad steps leading up to the entry, white and thick walls and large windows. Kurt led the way. Blaine had thought he would be waiting in the car the entire time but Kurt insisted he'd come in and say hello to his father.
"At the very least he's going to want to know who drove me here."
The part of Blaine that had politeness ingrained in it was relieved. His initial suggestion of waiting in the car had been more about protecting Kurt from awkward questions than his reluctance to meet with Kurt's father.
Upon meeting Burt Hummel, Blaine's first reaction was that he looked exactly like what Blaine had believed an auto mechanic should look like. Burly and weathered and work-worn, though Blaine supposed a part of that might be due to the illness Mr. Hummel had been overcoming.
"So, son," Burt said after Blaine had introduced himself. "What do you do?"
Blaine blushed. It was always awkward to tell someone who seemed to be as much a salt-of-the-earth guy as Burt that he was a musician.
"And do you make a living on that?"
"No, sir." Blaine was blushing. "I've been working in my father's company as an office clerk since I graduated high school, but I left the company recently. I'm planning a bit of a road trip before settling down somewhere like New York or maybe on the west coast."
"Well, I suppose you are at the right age for an adventure like that. You've been saving up then?"
Despite the third degree But was giving Blaine, he felt calm in his presence.
"Yes, everything I can. When I reach my final destination I'll probably find work, but I have to have some pocket change to live on while on the road."
"And you have no girl?"
Dropping his gaze to the floor, Blaine felt his cheeks heat up and all he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss Kurt.
"No, sir. I... like being free." It felt like the flimsiest of excuses but Burt made no comment. Still, Blaine couldn't shake the feeling that Burt at least sensed his thoughts, if he wasn’t reading them.
"Nothing wrong with that. Most people might disagree with me but I do think that you should only settle down with someone you truly want to spend your life with. I've been lucky. I did love Kurt's mother and then I had the good fortune to meet Carole. While I can't say we were miserable when it were just the two of us, me and Kurt, I got a second wind in my wings when I met Carole. It's the greatest thing I can wish upon anyone, finding love."
*
As Blaine was walking over the gravelly parking lot of the sanitarium to the car, he felt he must have hallucinated that conversation with Mr. Hummel, because it had left him with the sense that his attraction to Kurt had been sanctioned - at least in the sense that Burt didn't think he was going to ruin Kurt.
But he was no closer to knowing how Kurt felt about him. Innocent flirting didn't equal an attraction that Kurt was ready to act upon. Though Burt might be the most important person in Kurt's life and might not be likely to frown upon a relationship between Kurt and Blaine, Kurt could be worried that others less understanding might find out about them. Maybe he didn't want to risk that. Maybe he didn't want to risk putting himself on the line for something that could end so badly.
Figuring out what would be the best course of action was impossible. There was no one he could ask for advice. He didn't necessarily think Cooper would shun him if he confessed to being attracted to men; the problem was that he couldn't imagine that Cooper could give him useful advice even if Kurt was female.
Ultimately, the risk was probably worth it. It was hard to imagnine that if Kurt didn't feel the same or didn't want to take the plunge, he wouldn't let him down gently.
He was still lost in these thoughts when Kurt quietly opened the passenger door and slid into the car next to him. He was staring directly ahead but Blaine saw a sparkle in his eyes, an unusual starry quality mixed with the steady gaze of his stormy sky colored eyes.
As they were driving down the road leading to the highway, Kurt cleared his throat and then said,
"Would you mind turning left down that road?"
He was pointing at a dirt road leading into the forest. It didn't look very rough, maybe it lead to some part of the sanitarium or a maintenance road for the grounds keeper.
Blaine didn't mind but he had to wonder about Kurt's intentions. Maybe there was some scenery behind those trees that he wanted to look at. There was a hopeful throbbing in his heart that he chose to ignore.
The road led into a thick growth of trees. Blaine wasn't sure what kind of trees they were, maybe oaks or beech trees; the foliage was lush and vivid green, causing an eerie darkness. And Kurt was this otherworldly being who was leading him into his world.
A clearing opened up, beams of sunlight streaming through the leaves on the tree tops.
"Stop the car," Kurt said, his voice barely a decibel louder than a whisper.
Stopping and turning off the car, Blaine looked ahead, trying to find a logical reason why Kurt would want to stop there. He didn't see anything remarkable about the flora.
"I found this place when I went on a walk with Carole not long after Dad came here."
"It's... nice," Blaine said, unsure.
"It's private. That's what it is."
There was determination in Kurt's countenance and the light of hope Blaine had been so successful in ignoring flared up again in his chest.
Slowly, Kurt slid closer to him on the bench seat. Blaine inhaled, the sound of his breathing loud to his ears and then there were lips upon his. Kurt was kissing him with his soft-skinned lips, their mouths meeting; firm, yet yielding. Nothing Blaine had done before could compare.
Before long and all too soon Kurt pulled back, his eyes wide with wonderment and tinted with the slightest of fears. All Blaine wanted to do was to chase Kurt and his kiss, but he held back, at least for long enough to see the fear vanish completely from Kurt's eyes and the corners of his mouth pull up into a smile.
Blaine couldn't help himself; he just had to kiss that smile.
*
Dating another boy sure ain't the same as taking girls out. Blaine hadn't really taken many girls out but he never had to meet up with them at their place of work after hours when everyone else had left the place. He'd never made out with a girl in the back of a Ford Wagon standing on jack stands, with all but one tire removed.
But Kurt was no girl. Lying on his back on a seat with worn lining and springs that dug into him, Blaine was acutely aware that Kurt was very much a man.
They were lying close, their legs tangled and their pelvises pressing together. Blaine could feel Kurt's hardness thought the denim of his own jeans and the thick canvas material of Kurt's overalls. His arousal burned throughout his body, making his chest and throat tighten until he couldn't help but moan.
Kurt broke their kiss and looked down at him with concern in his eyes. Not wanting to ruin the moment with awkward explanations, Blaine looked directly into Kurt's eyes before grinding his hips up. Opening his eyes wide in surprise a small 'oh' escaped Kurt's lips. Blaine did it again, almost in challenge and it was enough for Kurt to catch on and push down on Blaine with his hips. Blaine reciprocated but their position made it a little hard to get enough friction. It was Kurt who was quicker to figure that out. Rising up to his knees, he pulled on Blaine, tilting him up against him before settling between his legs and thrusting down.
This time Blaine's moan couldn't be mistaken for anything but pleasure. Kurt was more quiet but his little huffs of breath couldn't be mistaken either.
It wasn't going to take much for Blaine to come, the urgency making him push himself higher and faster into Kurt's body before his head was filled with the white noise of release. Through it, he could feel Kurt muttering "Jesus, Blaine" before his body became absolutely rigid in Blaine's arm for a couple of heartbeats.
Afterward, Kurt was like a heavy anchor, tethering Blaine who felt like otherwise he could simply float out of his body.
"That was..." He couldn't finish the sentence, not knowing whether it were his words or his voice failing him.
"Yeah," was Kurt's response but Blaine knew that this had taken Kurt by surprise as much as him. A pleasant surprise.
When Kurt's weight got to be too much, Blaine pushed gently on his shoulder. Scrambling up to sit, Kurt began to apologize but Blaine silenced him, first with a finger on his lips and then with a kiss, soft and tender, in stark contrast to the rawness of the moment earlier.
Pulling back, Blaine looked at Kurt who was trying to adjust his overalls, either to hide the wet spot that had formed on the front or make it less uncomfortable.
"I..." Again the words died on his lips. How could he put into words that he very much wanted this to happen again but maybe in a nicer setting?
"Yeah," Kurt breathed again. "This was unexpected."
"I hope I wasn't rushing anything."
"No, no. I liked it very much and I don't want you to hold back. I need that." Kurt was looking at Blaine, obviously trying his hardest to be convincing.
"I won't. Just... I thought if we were to repeat this, maybe trying it naked..."
"We shouldn't do that here." Kurt seemed to sense what Blaine was trying to get at.
"I wish I knew of a better place..."
"While my father is staying at the sanitarium, Carole is staying up in Toledo with her cousin, so I'm practically living on my own. I haven't risked inviting you around, I'm sorry..."
"Don't be," Blaine injected quickly.
"We could... I could cook and have you over."
"A proper date?" Blaine asked with a smile.
"A proper date." Kurt smiled back.
*
The Hummel residence was quite an unassuming house. There was a small yard in front, a white picket fence and a driveway. It looked very much like the other houses in the street.
Yet Blaine was certain that none of the people living in the other houses were expecting their boyfriends over for dinner. At least not the men.
Kurt opened the door before Blaine could even knock. He was dressed in something similar to what he wore when they drove up to the sanitarium and without his work clothes Kurt was a sight to behold. Actually seeing the lines of his body made the breath catch in Blaine's throat.
"You're on time," said Kurt as he gestured Blaine to step inside. As soon as the door was closed, Kurt reached forwarded and greeted Blaine with a kiss.
It was funny how right this felt to Blaine. He'd always known that it had been a sham every time he'd taken a girl out but he'd never realized the depth of the lie until now.
Pulling back to shrug off his jacket, he smelled food. Deliciously smelling food.
"Something smells good." He refrained from adding 'honey' like he was the husband coming home from work and Kurt was his wife.
"Oh, I hope you eat pork chops," Kurt said, looking down a little shyly.
"I love pork chops."
Blaine had never learned to cook for himself, something he probably should look into, since he was planning to move across the country from his mother's cooking. But Kurt had been raised without a mother so he supposed learning had been a necessity for Kurt.
The table in the dining room was decorated and the food had already been served. Blaine had the urge to pull out Kurt's chair for him but Kurt beat him to it, pulling out one of the chairs and gesturing Blaine to sit. To his surprise, he didn't mind it; in fact it was thrilling to be taken care of like that.
The food tasted even better than it had smelled. There were breaded pork chops, boiled potatoes and steamed greens and lemon wedges for that little bit of sharp taste to the dish. Kurt had offered him a beer but Blaine declined. He felt he had to have his wits about him so he accepted a glass of water instead. Kurt followed suit.
They ate in relative silence. Blaine did comment on the food but mostly they enjoyed the companionship and snuck tiny glances at each other. Every time their eyes caught across the table, a light sort of feeling rose in the pit of Blaine's belly, an airy anticipation.
Finishing up the dinner, Blaine helped Kurt to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen but he wasn't allowed to help with the washing up.
"Go and put some music on. You should find the turntable easily enough and there are some records there. I hope you find something to your liking."
There were both long play albums stacked there and singles. Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis, a lot of great records, but Blaine was looking for something mellow. He picked up Nat King Cole Sings for Two In Love and almost blushed when he realized that the title couldn't be more fitting.
The smooth baritone voice of Nat filled the room and just as the opening bars of 'A Handful of Stars' started playing, Kurt came into the living room, having finished up in the kitchen.
"Oh, I approve," he said, gesturing to the turntable. Blaine who had been standing next to it, fiddling with the album sleeve, turned more towards Kurt. Most of all, he wanted to close the gap between them completely and kiss Kurt; enjoy the fact that they weren't hiding out at the auto shop, but the moment called for something different.
"Care to dance?" He asked, holding out his hand to Kurt who looked surprised but pleasantly so.
"I love to," said Kurt, his voice sort of breathless.
They shuffled around awkwardly, both more accustomed to leading but in the end Kurt ended up with the lead, being the taller one, and Blaine liked it very much. It felt nice to have Kurt's hand at the small of his back. It felt safe. They swayed on the spot for a good while, their cheeks touching. It wasn't until the needle skipped at the end of 'Let's Fall In Love' that they pulled apart. Idly Blaine thought he should go and turn the record over but Kurt's pink lips were so close that he had to at least taste them before moving from him.
He forgot all about the the B side of the record because that was a kiss to get lost in. Kurt was quick to deepen it, his lips slipping slightly against Blaine's, his tongue hot in his mouth. His hold on Blaine tightened even more, their bodies pressing together from the chest down. Blaine's left hand had been resting on Kurt's upper arm but now he was twisting the material of Kurt's shirt in his fist.
He pulled away from Kurt, just so he could whisper against his ear.
"Take it off, please. I want to feel you."
Moving his hand down to Blaine's hips, Kurt bent a little away from him, looking him in the eyes.
"Yes. You too."
Stepping away just enough to unbutton himself, Blaine was sure he'd never been so fast to shed his shirt. Dressed down to their undershirts they looked at each other and all Blaine could see in Kurt's eyes was trust mixed with want. All Blaine wanted to do was to fulfill that want. He skated his fingers over Kurt's bare shoulder, down his arms, feeling the soft skin and the hard muscle underneath it. Mirroring his movements, Kurt was touching his shoulder. It was a reverent, fragile moment like the moment before plunging into a deep pool.
And Blaine wanted. Wanted to fly, to sink, to drown.
"Kurt," he said, his voice raspy, his throat constricting.
"Yes."
They both wanted and at this moment there was nothing holding them back but themselves.
Stepping back, Blaine looked once at Kurt before pulling his a-shirt off. Kurt didn't say anything but there was plenty implied with how he stared at Blaine. His gaze was warm and igniting like a touch. When Blaine tried to step closer again, a tiny quirk of Kurt's lips, curving upwards a little, stopped him.
Now Kurt wanted Blaine to watch, pulling his t-shirt off to reveal his smooth-skinned and defined chest and the folded muscles of his stomach. He didn't stop there but started loosening up the belt on his pants and opening them before pulling them down. Blaine didn't know what he wanted to focus on, the strong thighs, the long legs or Kurt's obvious arousal, still partially hidden in his underwear. After putting his pants away and his socks and shoes, he stood there in front of Blaine, no shame showing in his face.
"God," escaped from Blaine's lips as a groan.
Kurt's lips turned up into a full smirk before he turned around and walked out of the living room. It took a moment for Blaine's brain to catch up before following Kurt.
He found Kurt standing in a bedroom, his bedroom presumably.
"C'mere," Kurt whispered and like he was in a trance, Blaine walked towards him. Slipping his arms around his neck, Kurt pulled him close before kissing him. It became the kiss that never ended as Kurt moved his hands from Blaine's neck down his body to unbutton his jeans. All Blaine could do for the moment was to hold on. Hold on to the kiss and to Kurt's slim waist. The want was still there, burning inside of him and slowly building. Every tiny movement of Kurt's inflamed it further.
Soon their naked chests were pressed together and Blaine hadn't been prepared for how it would feel to have Kurt's skin against his. He gasped into their kiss which only seemed to encourage Kurt in ridding them of every article of clothing, making away with their underwear. When their erections finally touched, Blaine no longer had a coherent thought in his head. All his brain could muster up was faster and more.
Through this all, their lips had hardly stopped touching. It was like they were fusing together, Kurt wrapping his arms tighter around Blaine, their bodies moving together in frantic, small movements; the friction and feel of Kurt being hard against him making Blaine so close to the edge that when his climax came rushing through him, it startled him so that he bit Kurt's lower lip.
Pulling away, smiling, Kurt held Blaine's shoulders as he fought to gain a little clarity.
"Are you okay?" Kurt asked when Blaine had stopped trembling.
"Yeah," he managed to breathe out. "I just..." He turned his face into Kurt's shoulder, suddenly feeling ashamed for not being able to last a little bit longer.
"It's alright," said Kurt, stroking his hair. "Let's lie down."
It wasn't until Blaine was lying on his back on the bed with Kurt at his side, peppering little kisses onto his shoulder and chest, that he realized that Kurt was still hard and he couldn't understand how Kurt could be this calm and collected.
"Kurt," he said, as he raised himself on his elbows and looked down Kurt's body next to him. "You..."
"I've waited for a long time. I'm a very patient man," Kurt said, seemingly understanding what Blaine had been thinking.
But he didn't want Kurt to wait. They were here together and what he wanted to do now, was to pleasure Kurt. The problem was that he didn't have faintest idea what he should do. His traitorous mind was quick to bring up his fantasy but the image of Kurt with a girl wasn't very helpful to their current situation. Maybe all he needed was courage.
"What do you want?" His voice sounded a little bit too timid to himself but that didn't seem to bother Kurt.
"I want you, Blaine. I want to feel you." There was heat in Kurt's voice and Blaine wanted to give himself over to it.
"You can. All of me. I want to feel you too."
Kurt bent over him, their lips meeting in yet another kiss and Blaine knew what he wanted now. Holding Kurt's shoulders tight, he flipped them over so Kurt was on his back underneath him. Looking down he was afraid that he'd find that Kurt hadn't liked this maneuver but Kurt was watching him and allowing him to take over, for now at least.
The great expanse of skin on Kurt's chest and his stomach beckoned him to kiss it and lap at it with his tongue and his mouth watered at the thought, but maybe he should concentrate his efforts elsewhere. Running his fingers down Kurt's torso he noticed the tiny spasm his touch seemed to induce in Kurt. Oh, he might think that he could wait but Blaine was sure that Kurt had to be absolutely desperate, so he brought his fingers lower still, until they were skating against the silky skin of Kurt's cock. He could hear now that he'd been right, as Kurt's breathing had become labored; he was grunting on every exhale like he couldn't bear Blaine touching him like that.
It wasn't Blaine's intention to torture Kurt, so he took Kurt's hardness in his hand, using the wetness at the tip to smooth his movements up and down the shaft. The grunting gave a way to moaning and Kurt was arching up into the touch, obviously so close. Blaine bent closer over him, reclaiming his lips in a kiss as he sped up his movements, silently trying to will the orgasm out of Kurt, wanting to see how the beautiful man underneath him looked when he shattered.
When it finally happened it was almost more that Blaine could handle. Kurt's body curved under him, his eyes rolling back as he cried out his release.
It was the closest Blaine had come to a religious experience.
*
The darkness of the room surrounded them like a cocoon. Kurt was lying on his side, playing with Blaine's hair. Blaine was mostly lying on his stomach, sated and sleepy. There were things he wanted to say but those didn't matter at that moment. At this moment he was content with his beautiful Kurt next to him. The magic of the moment would shatter soon enough, and while his mind didn't put a shape to that thought yet, the knowledge that the moment was fleeting and might never return danced at the edge of his consciousness.
"I like your hair like this," Kurt said. "The Brylcreem isn't holding your curls back."
In any other circumstances, Blaine might have panicked as he was prone to think of his tube of Brylcreem as a lifeline. But here the outside world didn't exist. It was only him and Kurt as long as Kurt's warm body was next to him, all was well.
*
Two days later, on the dreariest of Mondays, weather-wise at least, Blaine found himself at the bank. Sophie would be ready the next day and he had to withdraw the money for the check-up plus he needed to look at his statement. There should be enough to start his new life somewhere far away.
But now he had Kurt to consider. He had stayed the night with Kurt and in the morning they'd had sex again. While the acts had been much the same as the night before, the daylight robbed them of the illusion that the world only consisted of the two of them. A dread of sorts had taken up residence in the pit of Blaine's stomach then and it didn't seem to dissipate.
The ball of dread only grew in size. On one hand, he had been wanting to get out of town for so long that the thought of staying felt alien and ill-fitting. The only reason why he would stay would be Kurt and what they had. The relationship, if he could even call it such, was doomed to be kept as a secret. A dangerous secret that might end up destroying their lives.
He might meet other men in some big city and while they would have to be discreet, it probably would be easier than hiding a homosexual relationship in a small town. Those hypothetical men weren't Kurt though. He knew Kurt's laughter, how it sounded like silver bells, he knew the warmth of Kurt's skin, how it felt underneath his fingers and he knew the heat of Kurt's kisses. That wasn't something he'd ever find again.
Maybe this was the sign, as painful as it might be, that he had to leave town. As soon as his car was ready, he had to go. There was no reason for him to torment himself and Kurt with playing pretend. He had to be honest with him and tell him that their time would be up soon. So soon.
*
Later that day, when he was home and puttering around his room, deciding what possessions he couldn't possibly do without, his mother called him to the phone.
"It's a phone call from the garage, about your car," his mother said as she handed him the receiver before returning into the kitchen.
"Blaine Anderson speaking."
"Hi, Blaine." It was Kurt on the other line.
"Oh, hi." They hadn't spoken since Blaine had left Kurt's house on Saturday morning and it felt so utterly wrong to Blaine that their next conversation should be over the phone and within the earshot of other people.
"So your car is ready."
"Oh, great," Blaine answered though it felt like the greatest lie he'd ever told. This meant that his fleeting time with Kurt was over. Maybe he could hope for one more encounter and then they would part ways.
"I was thinking that you could come and pick her up at my place. It's closer to your house than the auto shop, right?"
Blaine's heart hammered in his chest, hearing the flirtatious tone in Kurt's voice. Kurt probably was hoping for a repeat of what happened Friday night and Blaine hated himself already for dashing that hope.
"It's closer so it would be more convenient, yeah." He toed the carpet.
"Can you be at my place around seven? Would that work for you?" The flirtatiousness had gone from Kurt's voice, replaced by unsureness.
"Yeah, yeah, I can." Blaine realized he'd been twisting the telephone cord around his hand and he'd have to untangle himself.
"See you then."
He prayed that he'd been imaging the resigned tone in Kurt's voice, but that was without doubt in vain.
*
Kurt answered the door, wearing what he'd probably been wearing underneath his coveralls at work, A white t-shirt and blue jeans. A very simple get-up, though it didn't detract from Kurt's attractiveness, quite the contrary in fact.
"Hey, come in." He was cheerful enough but it didn't calm Blaine's nerves. Stepping inside with his hands deep in his pockets, he looked at Kurt before turning his gaze to the floor.
"So," Kurt began, "the car is ready. There was nothing we needed to do or replace so it's just gonna be the work hours we'll charge you for."
"Okay," was all Blaine could say. There were so many things he wanted to say to Kurt; to ask him to forgive him, ask him to kiss him one last time, ask him never to forget him. The words were stuck, wedged in his throat and all he could do was to stare at the floor.
"Blaine, look at me."
Kurt's voice wasn't commanding but he wasn't pleading with Blaine either. There was curiosity there but mainly concern. Still, Blaine couldn't look up, the wedge in his throat was turning into a hard lump and his breath had started to shake a little. His eyes stung.
"Is it... do you regret what we did?" The concern in Kurt's voice was giving way to sadness.
Blaine's next inhale turned into a sob and suddenly there were hands holding his face, tilting it up.
"Blaine... what is it? Tell me, please tell me."
"I..." Another sob wrecked him. "I don't regret it. I... I don't want it to end. Never..."
"Blaine," Kurt breathed before wrapping Blaine up in his arms. Blaine buried his face into Kurt's shoulder.
"Why do you think it's going to end?"
"I'm leaving, I told you." It was hard for Blaine to control his voice but he had to try, he owed Kurt that much and so much more.
"Oh, so that's what this is about. Of course, I never told you... Blaine, I'm leaving too."
"What?" Blaine pulled up from Kurt's shoulder, trying to focus on his face through the tears.
"I'm leaving Lima as well. I haven't figured out the details yet, except, well, I have money saved. And my father did tell me I should ask whether I could come along with you."
"I..." Blaine was lost for words. He rubbed a hand over his face. This hadn't occurred to him, probably out of a sense of self-preservation.
"I was going to ask you earlier but I was afraid you wouldn't want to. So I'm asking you now, could I come along for the ride? It doesn't matter to me where we'll go, New York, Los Angeles, somewhere that isn't Lima. I can pay for the gas, at least for half of the way and..."
"Kurt, yes. It's crazy but yes, there's nothing I want more than to take you with me."
All that needed to be said was said. Blaine's lips found Kurt's in a kiss into which he poured every ounce of feeling he had in his body. Relief, fear, lust and above all, love.
*
The sun was setting over a plain somewhere in the mid-west of America. The stretch of road was empty, except for the pink Cadillac that was stopped on the side of the road. Two men were leaning against it; they had stopped for a snack and were enjoying the fact that they were standing after ten hours of driving through endless wheat fields and pastures. At one point they had tried a game where they counted all the red barns they could see, but gave up after when the number had gone into three digits.
When they got back into the car, the sky was almost the same pale pink as the car and the sun was merely a sliver of light peaking over the horizon like it was promising a bright future at the end of that endless road.
The man in the driver's seat reached over and gently planted a kiss on the lips of the other man.
"Straight ahead?"
"Yes, and don't ever look back."
-fin