Sunny Day
I am feeling more functional today than I have in some time. I started a new medication and it appears to make my other medications more potent. So I have been unable to rise in the morning and I have been feeling stoned and zombie-like all day. Not fun.
I have cut out/cut back on some of my nighttime meds and may have hit a sweeter spot with this all last night because I am not a zombie today.Yay!! I am trying to deal with a damaged nerve in my left ear that causes me incredible pain.
I went out last night and met my friend Char at the Overture, Madison's big performance center. They have been showing a series of silent movies there, with an accompanist playing on a 100-year-old organ. Apparently the organ is now going to be refurbished and will be gone for a year.
The movie was The Wind with Lillian Gish. It was hardly uplifting, but I thought it was very good. I thought it was interesting historically, portraying the Dust Bowl and how restricted women's lives were at that time.Gish was beautiful and a very good actor. I had not seen a silent film before and of course, everything is overacted to get the point across.
The unpleasant part was that we were way in the front and my neck was not happy.
Now I don't go out at night because of said ear pain, which is worse at night. But I am trying to cultivate new friends and so I did the wild thing of going out. It was weird to be downtown and even weirder to be there at night.
So I have been talking with a friend about how we feel about ageing. Not so great is how we feel. She cracked me up by saying that she is reacting to the deterioration of her body in the same way that some people are denying climate change. No no no no no. Don't want to think about it. But I sure as hell don't want to end up in some damn institution drooling in my wheelchair. The idea disgusts me.
How ironic that I was headed for the parking ramp (going the wrong way, of course) and I was in the middle of a small crowd of old people. Fire trucks and ambulances were up the road, and some old guy started making small talk about that. Good thing I was going the wrong way because I would have been stuck on that street forever. The old people were all from some "retirement village" and they were headed for a van. Shuffling along. The guy I was talking to suddenly said, "Oh. You are not with this group."
And I wanted to yell at him: for God's sake, do I look like I am part of this group? Puhlease! I have this great hair and funky glasses and I am not shuffling around in polyester. Give me a break. I'm not old. I'm still hip."
I was vastly relieved when I realized that I was going the wrong way (kinda like an old person) and I could separate from the geezers.
Clearly, I am not accepting my age well. I may, in fact, be delusional.
Today is much warmer than it has been and it is sunny. I took both of Jessica's dogs to the park today. I have been hesitant to take little Stella because she is so little and she doesn't know me very well and 3 dogs is a lot. But she looked so sad that I had to take her. We had a tremendously good time. I refrained from my usual listening to a podcast so that I could be fully present to the dogs.
Don't know yet if this will be a pattern, but I think Stella will expect that it is.
I like audio books because I don't have a lot of time nor the concentration to read much. But I had about a half a dozen audio books and couldn't get into any of them. So I turned them in and came home with Elizabeth Gilbert's The Signature of All Things. I am enjoying it immensely, and of course, I have read it before. I won't even tell you how often I do that. Oh well. It's pledge week on public radio and I cannot stand it, partially because I feel guilty about not having the money to pledge. So getting an engaging book, even if I have read it before, was essential this week. Doesn't matter that I read it before, I'm old and don't remember.
I have cut out/cut back on some of my nighttime meds and may have hit a sweeter spot with this all last night because I am not a zombie today.Yay!! I am trying to deal with a damaged nerve in my left ear that causes me incredible pain.
I went out last night and met my friend Char at the Overture, Madison's big performance center. They have been showing a series of silent movies there, with an accompanist playing on a 100-year-old organ. Apparently the organ is now going to be refurbished and will be gone for a year.
The movie was The Wind with Lillian Gish. It was hardly uplifting, but I thought it was very good. I thought it was interesting historically, portraying the Dust Bowl and how restricted women's lives were at that time.Gish was beautiful and a very good actor. I had not seen a silent film before and of course, everything is overacted to get the point across.
The unpleasant part was that we were way in the front and my neck was not happy.
Now I don't go out at night because of said ear pain, which is worse at night. But I am trying to cultivate new friends and so I did the wild thing of going out. It was weird to be downtown and even weirder to be there at night.
So I have been talking with a friend about how we feel about ageing. Not so great is how we feel. She cracked me up by saying that she is reacting to the deterioration of her body in the same way that some people are denying climate change. No no no no no. Don't want to think about it. But I sure as hell don't want to end up in some damn institution drooling in my wheelchair. The idea disgusts me.
How ironic that I was headed for the parking ramp (going the wrong way, of course) and I was in the middle of a small crowd of old people. Fire trucks and ambulances were up the road, and some old guy started making small talk about that. Good thing I was going the wrong way because I would have been stuck on that street forever. The old people were all from some "retirement village" and they were headed for a van. Shuffling along. The guy I was talking to suddenly said, "Oh. You are not with this group."
And I wanted to yell at him: for God's sake, do I look like I am part of this group? Puhlease! I have this great hair and funky glasses and I am not shuffling around in polyester. Give me a break. I'm not old. I'm still hip."
I was vastly relieved when I realized that I was going the wrong way (kinda like an old person) and I could separate from the geezers.
Clearly, I am not accepting my age well. I may, in fact, be delusional.
Today is much warmer than it has been and it is sunny. I took both of Jessica's dogs to the park today. I have been hesitant to take little Stella because she is so little and she doesn't know me very well and 3 dogs is a lot. But she looked so sad that I had to take her. We had a tremendously good time. I refrained from my usual listening to a podcast so that I could be fully present to the dogs.
Don't know yet if this will be a pattern, but I think Stella will expect that it is.
I like audio books because I don't have a lot of time nor the concentration to read much. But I had about a half a dozen audio books and couldn't get into any of them. So I turned them in and came home with Elizabeth Gilbert's The Signature of All Things. I am enjoying it immensely, and of course, I have read it before. I won't even tell you how often I do that. Oh well. It's pledge week on public radio and I cannot stand it, partially because I feel guilty about not having the money to pledge. So getting an engaging book, even if I have read it before, was essential this week. Doesn't matter that I read it before, I'm old and don't remember.