ugh

[hilaryann]

Despite knowing I'm on track to better things and despite how well David treats me and how happy he makes me, I can't shake this feeling of distress and worthlessness regarding Luke. I still cannot understand how I could go from being so loved to being nothing like that. I put so much into that relationship (short lived as it was) and feel so

Comments

[starrbear]

I feel like I might have some insight for you that may be harsh in type. Would you like me to send you a message on facebook?

I still love you and want the best for you but we haven't talked regularly in a long time and you just might not want to hear from me.

<3 you.

[hilaryann]

You can post it here of you want, but if you're more comfortable using a fb message.

[starrbear]

I'm worried that maybe you need some more time to get over Luke or that situation. It seems from this viewpoint (reading your LJ's) that you're letting men tell you your self worth. Maybe while that guy or person is around you feel like you do have worth and when it doesn't work out you don't anymore (just a theory).

You more than deserve someone to love you for who you are! You need to know that, though. You need to love yourself without someone else telling you to. It's all well and good that I tell you that you're great and you need to know you're great. As far as learning that goes I can't tell you exactly how to do that. I know there are tips and techniques - some insane, some workable.

I love you and I know that you have a bunch of other people that love you.

Love,
Sara

[hilaryann]

I agree with you about letting men assign me my self-worth, that's actually one of the main issues I've been trying to work on these days. It's something that I've struggled with since I was really young, and I've tried approaching the subject a variety of ways over the past few years. Lately I've been having a pretty rough time at it, though, obviously.

The way I see it at present, if I'm in a healthy relationship with someone who respects me, it's easier for me to build my self-worth via my own efforts and outside accomplishments, because I wouldn't be so distracted and dragged down by the trappings of an unhealthy relationship. In the past, it was in that situation that I made the most headway on this and other issues.

[starrbear]

I'm glad you're doing better now! You truly are an amazing woman and any steps you take to truly realizing that I applaud. Looks like you've got a great outlook!

Sorry to bother you!
<3

[hilaryann]

Oh it's no bother! I mean you -were- right that it's an issue! It's just one that I've been trying to work on :)

<3 you~!

[starrbear]

I'm glad! <3 you too! I want to move to Seattle after grad school...maybe we'll hook up when we aren't so far away!

[hilaryann]

That would be mighty fine!