downdowndown to go up
Day Ten of the mysterious silence from Luke. I'm still upset and confused, but trying to force myself to stop caring and just go into robotic sleep/wait-mode. Because how someone can go from "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone" to inexplicably dropping off the planet for a week and a half just doesn't compute with me, so I have to go into safe mode or else I'll get frozen into the Blue Screen of Death.
Anyway. I've been sick with some sort of stomach bug (or it's my body not reacting well to drinking milk again) and I think I'm finally starting to get over it. David very kindly provided me with crackers and Gatorade Wednesday night and I stayed home from work yesterday. I think not going out into the cold and just lying in bed reading helped (and I devoured the whole of "Good Omens"!), because I do feel better today. I've had no energy the past few days so my apartment is in a state of total disarray, the dishes need to be done before they crawl off, I have no clean clothes (and been wearing the same jeans for days), and the cats need a bath pretty badly. I noticed a couple of fleas on Pandora, and if there are a couple I've seen on her, that means there's inevitably actually many of them on both cats. And they're out of cat food, and have only one tin of tuna left. (They won't drink milk or eat eggs, I've discovered.)
I wish I could just fast-forward ahead a few weeks past all this money stress and illness and anxiety. I'm getting to a better place, and soon everything will be so much better, it's just right now I'm at that steep uphill part with the rough terrain that I wasn't quite prepared for. I love my job and my new friends, and that helps.
Anyway. I've been sick with some sort of stomach bug (or it's my body not reacting well to drinking milk again) and I think I'm finally starting to get over it. David very kindly provided me with crackers and Gatorade Wednesday night and I stayed home from work yesterday. I think not going out into the cold and just lying in bed reading helped (and I devoured the whole of "Good Omens"!), because I do feel better today. I've had no energy the past few days so my apartment is in a state of total disarray, the dishes need to be done before they crawl off, I have no clean clothes (and been wearing the same jeans for days), and the cats need a bath pretty badly. I noticed a couple of fleas on Pandora, and if there are a couple I've seen on her, that means there's inevitably actually many of them on both cats. And they're out of cat food, and have only one tin of tuna left. (They won't drink milk or eat eggs, I've discovered.)
I wish I could just fast-forward ahead a few weeks past all this money stress and illness and anxiety. I'm getting to a better place, and soon everything will be so much better, it's just right now I'm at that steep uphill part with the rough terrain that I wasn't quite prepared for. I love my job and my new friends, and that helps.