heartstop.
One thing the internet has done for me, personally, has been aiding in my cultivation of a real relationship with my father. When I was a kid, things were rough. When I was a teenager, things were super rough. Then after I graduated high school and began my 5-year stint as a receptionist in the high-end hi-fi shop he ran, we started to size each other up as adults who could get along. We bonded and formed a friendship over shared experiences at work, as well as shared enjoyment of internet memes and pop-culture bullshit in the office. He'd gotten really into using the internet (especially forums) to cultivate his hobbies and make friends with other bike enthusiasts/watch addicts/motorcyclists/etc., and it was a really positive outlet for his stress. I encouraged this since I'm much the same way, and would show him things I thought were cool online.
A year and a half ago the company he and I worked for folded and we didn't have those opportunities to discuss "Chocolate Rain" in depth between customers anymore. Text messaging came into the picture and that helped. Then a while back he made a Facebook profile and added me; most people I've spoken to about the subject are uncomfortable with their parents or family friending them on social networking sites but in the past few years my family has gotten much closer and they saw me through some low points, so I don't feel like I have anything to hide from them.
Tonight I checked my mail and saw that I had a Christmas card from my father with a $20 bill tucked inside. He knows from Facebook that my life hasn't been awesome lately, that I'm broke (in that $3 in my wallet and bank account negative $280 kind of way) and struggling. It was a really sweet gesture on his part so I sent him a message thanking him. A few minutes ago my phone buzzed and it was a two-word reply from him: "Love you."
I've only heard this from my dad a handful of times since I grew up. My wedding day 2 years ago; a quiet car-ride to work when I was 19 during a low point when I was nearly hospitalized; this past birthday of his. It's not that I wasn't always aware that he does love me; I've always felt that he does even when our relationship was quite strained. But I was never the "daddy's girl" sort and my dad didn't typically express his affection verbally much. So every time it comes up, it sort of stops me for a second. I pause, I absorb it slowly, and I appreciate it. These kinds of things have been happening a lot more often lately. Dropping comments or messages of encouragement, support, affection. Links to silly things I would like. Little e-hugs. Right now is probably the best our father/daughter relationship has ever been, and that's a really huge deal to me.
I pretty much almost cried when I got that message and thought about it. But, you know, in the good way.
A year and a half ago the company he and I worked for folded and we didn't have those opportunities to discuss "Chocolate Rain" in depth between customers anymore. Text messaging came into the picture and that helped. Then a while back he made a Facebook profile and added me; most people I've spoken to about the subject are uncomfortable with their parents or family friending them on social networking sites but in the past few years my family has gotten much closer and they saw me through some low points, so I don't feel like I have anything to hide from them.
Tonight I checked my mail and saw that I had a Christmas card from my father with a $20 bill tucked inside. He knows from Facebook that my life hasn't been awesome lately, that I'm broke (in that $3 in my wallet and bank account negative $280 kind of way) and struggling. It was a really sweet gesture on his part so I sent him a message thanking him. A few minutes ago my phone buzzed and it was a two-word reply from him: "Love you."
I've only heard this from my dad a handful of times since I grew up. My wedding day 2 years ago; a quiet car-ride to work when I was 19 during a low point when I was nearly hospitalized; this past birthday of his. It's not that I wasn't always aware that he does love me; I've always felt that he does even when our relationship was quite strained. But I was never the "daddy's girl" sort and my dad didn't typically express his affection verbally much. So every time it comes up, it sort of stops me for a second. I pause, I absorb it slowly, and I appreciate it. These kinds of things have been happening a lot more often lately. Dropping comments or messages of encouragement, support, affection. Links to silly things I would like. Little e-hugs. Right now is probably the best our father/daughter relationship has ever been, and that's a really huge deal to me.
I pretty much almost cried when I got that message and thought about it. But, you know, in the good way.