re: my negligence
i find it increasingly difficult to describe a mood that will last beyond a stalled moment. its like rapid overturnings of fluctuating selves, unsure of its own understanding. very un-zen, but stimulating, still. comfort has completely vanished, for now. its become more a matter of excitement and hesitation, co-mingling on the boundary between what i perceive and my studied reaction to such falsified perceptions. i'm changing, but i cant accept any sure direction toward or through which i progress. i've never been more than i am and for now i can only view myself as being, for now. the linear development of life has me stalled in certain moments when i digest the single progression of an ever-unceratin direction and more importantly of a mind with continued movement that is at once inviting and skeptical; self-sabotaging only in a necessarily contradictory view of itself. i am all that i hate and all that i aspire toward.
IT.S already changed though. what i've above disclosed is no longer relevant in many ways, and the internet is the only sort of sturdy presence that ought not provide me with the comfort that it does. for now, for me, its about limitless ideas and an irresponsible and casual allowance of any and every passing personal fancy.
and for now is forever, after all.
IT.S already changed though. what i've above disclosed is no longer relevant in many ways, and the internet is the only sort of sturdy presence that ought not provide me with the comfort that it does. for now, for me, its about limitless ideas and an irresponsible and casual allowance of any and every passing personal fancy.
and for now is forever, after all.