(no subject)
Dear lord. So very sick. Bad timing.
701. What is your favorite mixed drink?
Margaritas.
702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others?
Uhm....yes. I think...no..no wait...yes.
703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce?
Uhm...which one doesn't have mushrooms? And no veal. Ever. Ick.
704. If you were alone in your friend's house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks?
Drawers, possibly. Notebooks, no.
705. What would you really like to do but you don't because you are afraid of getting caught?
Nothing springs to mind....
706. Of the following, which word best describes you:
responsible:
spontaneous:
tactful: This one
uninhibited:
707. Which band would you most likely check out?
The Smiths (indi-pop 80's-90's)
The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90's)
Front 242 (80's-90's industrial/dance) This one!
708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit?
Like you break any other bad habit. You just knock it the f-ck off.
709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered?
Color changing paint! Or unlimited fuel!
710. What kind of poetry speaks to you?
Funny Haiku.
711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours?
7 Eleven. Slurpees call to me.
712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else?
Not usually, no.
713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading?
No, not usually.
714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion?
Didn't even know there was another one. But I'm getting a little tired of the questions asking about the survey. Don't get all meta on me.
715. What's the most creative answer you can think of for 'what is black and white and red all over'?
Mickey mouse after butchering the people who decided to get rid of him and all the classic Disney cartoon characters.
716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over?
Three reasons. The stupid reasons: Because they want to see what's up or they somehow think the cop with abandon the guy he's ticketing to chase them instead. The smart reason: Because cops get hit by passing cars all the time while they're giving a ticket. Slowing down and giving them some space is a really smart idea.
717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead?
....I'm starting to think that I should read ahead.
718. It's daddy's birthday. What do you get him?
The man is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for! He has everything.
719. What's your 5,000 question survey nickname?
What? Like...I should give myself a nickname or I should give the survey a nickname? Because I've magically coined it "The 5,000 Question survey"
Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name
A anything but
B bubalicious
C captivating
D deadly
E erotic
F funky
G greasy
H heaps of
I indie
J jelly
K kinetic
L lasher
M Mr. (or Mrs.)
N neglected
O ogre-like
P parading
Q quacking
R Rico
S stinky
T the one and only
U uber
V Velcro
W wishing for
X x-tra
Y yearning for
Z zoobalee
Now take the first letter of your last name.
A aardvarks
B baboo
C creme pie
D drag queen
E eggbert
F flex
G god
H hell
I Isabelle
J juice
K kisses
L lightning
M mannish boys
N nice
O octopi
P porcupines
Q q-bert
R rainbows
S suave
T tushy
U underwear
V valor
W weenie
X xtc
Y yohimbe
Z zipper
Put the two words together for your nickname.
Rico Suave....seriously? What are the odds?
720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it's all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you're holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it's done you're on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night?
...are we talking about sex?
What does that feeling come from?
I'm really not sure what we're talking about.
721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends?
I am a teacher.
722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass?
Eh.
723. Write a question and answer it here.
Whoa whoa... don't try to get me to do your job for you.
724. Who is your favorite playwright?
Holy crap...I have to pick one? Chris Durang is pretty awesome. Shakespeare, obviously. Neil Simon. And..that guy who wrote Glenn Gary Glenn Ross...I'm sick, help me out here...
725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in?
The Justin Bieber one. I'm not even interested in trying to remember it's name.
726. What would the worst movie ever be about?
Justin Bieber.
727. Do you like truffles?
Uhm...no.
Do you like Turkish delight?
Uhm...sure. Don't really know if I've ever had it.
728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman?
Depends. I've been fooled before. Not in like a, made out with a trannie sense. But in a "Oh, I thought that was a woman until she/he started speaking"
729. What's funnier, plants or fire extinguishers?
Fire Extinguishers. They do more.
730. For question 720 did you write down sex?
I did.
You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater.
Clearly you've never done musical theater.
731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid?
Plaid. For reals.
732. What would you consider ordinary?
A glass of water.
733. What is out of the ordinary?
A glass of water on fire.
734. Do you ever watch COPS?
Not since high school.
735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o?
No. Not always.
736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it?
Like Highlander, but with good writers.
737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air?
I have a basic understanding of some of the concepts involved.
738. When do you act the most dramatic?
When shit goes down. Or when I'm getting paid for it.
739. Are you one of those people who have, "see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards?
Nope. But some of them are signed with the Zorro slash, just to see if anybody notices.
740. It's mom’s birthday. What do you get her?
Candy, flowers, chocolates, promises I don't intend to keep...
741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now'?
Pauly Shore.
742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy?
Uhm..no. Because I'm not crazy.
743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey?
I have no idea. Nor do I care. I'm selfish like that.
744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean?
Nope. I'm eco friendly like that.
745. If you haven't would you want to?
No, not really. I'm too realistic.
746. If you ever did what would you write?
If you're reading this, I was wrong.
747. What do you wish you could always be protected from?
Betrayal. Or bankruptcy
748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime?
People who leave the sponge in the sink.
749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV?
Fish tank!
750. Is it better to be loved or feared?
Depends. By students? By my girlfriend? By my Parents?
751. What causes you to panic?
Nothing. I have "Don't Panic" written on my brain.
752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality?
No. I belive I have a personality that has some muscle on it, but wouldn't be considered "strong" before being considered "agile" or "well built"
753. When Jesus saves souls...does he trade them in for valuable prizes?
I'm gonna go with no.
754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years?
To never ever get sick ever.
755. Why wait?
Because we, as people, need totally arbitrary markers to make things happen.
756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you?
Always working against me. Time is an asshole.
757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life?
I work out. I clean swords. I read comic books. I dream of better days.
758. How much Tolkien have you read?
The Hobbit and the Fellowship. That's it. Couldn't get into Two Towers
759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to:
Time Bomb by Rancid
Dead Man's party by Oingo Boingo
The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha
50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
Run by collective Soul This one.
760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person?
Yes.
761. Do you believe he was the son of god?
No.
762. How do you feel about organized religion?
I have a wide assortment of mixed feelings.
763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context?
"God, you're firm"
763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick?
A chainsaw. Useful, but noisy and hard to control.
764. Name a group of people:
Scientologists
765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they have magical machines that do it for them.
766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets?
It's ok.
767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal?
Yeah, I do.
768. Metallica or Guns N' Roses?
Guns N Roses.
769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac?
Not really, no.
770. Do you like reggae music?
It's alright.
771. What makes your life worth it every day?
Wow....I really wish I had an answer here. Uh...hope, I guess.
772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it?
No, somedays I just kind of pat on the shoulder and tell them I hope they're doing well.
773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn?
More often than I'd like.
774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy' or 'sane'?
We all do.
775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers?
That's not up to me to decide.
776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born?
John Lennon was killed.
777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes?
When I throw coins into mall fountains from the 2nd floor.
778. Are you self-sufficient?
Usually.
779. Is it better to be wanted or needed?
Wanted. WAAAAAAAAAANTED. Dead or AHHHH-LIVE!
780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at?
Don't end a sentience in a preposition. And somewhere in the upper teens. But everybody has their own time.
781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different?
Nope
782. Are you a hard person to get to know?
No, not really. Just ask me question and spend some time around me.
783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger?
Punched a window.
784. What's the MOST annoying sound you can think of?
A baby or small child screaming.
785. What's the silliest vegetable you can think of?
Rhubarb.
786. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. I believe in instant connection and serious chemistry. Love takes work.
787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”:
Uhm... I don't think I've ever said that.
788. What do you see when you turn out the light?
Not much.
789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music?
Jazz.
790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry?
Silver. Not a fan of gold.
791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you?
I don't want kids. But if I did, I'd want them to be smart, free thinking and have some serious morals.
792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you?
I'd like for them to be smarter, stronger, faster. I'd like for them to have the technology.
793. What was the scariest movie you've ever seen?
Event Horizon. That movie fucked me up for life.
794. What was the funniest movie you've ever seen?
Airplane
795. What was the worst movie you've ever seen?
Transformers 2
796. Are you a good massage-giver?
I have no idea. My exwife always bitched about it, but she bitched about most things.
797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes' to?
Have you ever peed in a pool while I was near you?
798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive?
Yes. Very much so.
799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein?
It is possible. Unlikely, but possible.
800. Are you often sarcastic?
Not often. Sarcasm is a tool of the weak mind. Use it sparingly. (Doubly so if you are a student of mine)
701. What is your favorite mixed drink?
Margaritas.
702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others?
Uhm....yes. I think...no..no wait...yes.
703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce?
Uhm...which one doesn't have mushrooms? And no veal. Ever. Ick.
704. If you were alone in your friend's house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks?
Drawers, possibly. Notebooks, no.
705. What would you really like to do but you don't because you are afraid of getting caught?
Nothing springs to mind....
706. Of the following, which word best describes you:
responsible:
spontaneous:
tactful: This one
uninhibited:
707. Which band would you most likely check out?
The Smiths (indi-pop 80's-90's)
The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90's)
Front 242 (80's-90's industrial/dance) This one!
708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit?
Like you break any other bad habit. You just knock it the f-ck off.
709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered?
Color changing paint! Or unlimited fuel!
710. What kind of poetry speaks to you?
Funny Haiku.
711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours?
7 Eleven. Slurpees call to me.
712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else?
Not usually, no.
713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading?
No, not usually.
714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion?
Didn't even know there was another one. But I'm getting a little tired of the questions asking about the survey. Don't get all meta on me.
715. What's the most creative answer you can think of for 'what is black and white and red all over'?
Mickey mouse after butchering the people who decided to get rid of him and all the classic Disney cartoon characters.
716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over?
Three reasons. The stupid reasons: Because they want to see what's up or they somehow think the cop with abandon the guy he's ticketing to chase them instead. The smart reason: Because cops get hit by passing cars all the time while they're giving a ticket. Slowing down and giving them some space is a really smart idea.
717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead?
....I'm starting to think that I should read ahead.
718. It's daddy's birthday. What do you get him?
The man is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for! He has everything.
719. What's your 5,000 question survey nickname?
What? Like...I should give myself a nickname or I should give the survey a nickname? Because I've magically coined it "The 5,000 Question survey"
Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name
A anything but
B bubalicious
C captivating
D deadly
E erotic
F funky
G greasy
H heaps of
I indie
J jelly
K kinetic
L lasher
M Mr. (or Mrs.)
N neglected
O ogre-like
P parading
Q quacking
R Rico
S stinky
T the one and only
U uber
V Velcro
W wishing for
X x-tra
Y yearning for
Z zoobalee
Now take the first letter of your last name.
A aardvarks
B baboo
C creme pie
D drag queen
E eggbert
F flex
G god
H hell
I Isabelle
J juice
K kisses
L lightning
M mannish boys
N nice
O octopi
P porcupines
Q q-bert
R rainbows
S suave
T tushy
U underwear
V valor
W weenie
X xtc
Y yohimbe
Z zipper
Put the two words together for your nickname.
Rico Suave....seriously? What are the odds?
720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it's all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you're holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it's done you're on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night?
...are we talking about sex?
What does that feeling come from?
I'm really not sure what we're talking about.
721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends?
I am a teacher.
722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass?
Eh.
723. Write a question and answer it here.
Whoa whoa... don't try to get me to do your job for you.
724. Who is your favorite playwright?
Holy crap...I have to pick one? Chris Durang is pretty awesome. Shakespeare, obviously. Neil Simon. And..that guy who wrote Glenn Gary Glenn Ross...I'm sick, help me out here...
725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in?
The Justin Bieber one. I'm not even interested in trying to remember it's name.
726. What would the worst movie ever be about?
Justin Bieber.
727. Do you like truffles?
Uhm...no.
Do you like Turkish delight?
Uhm...sure. Don't really know if I've ever had it.
728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman?
Depends. I've been fooled before. Not in like a, made out with a trannie sense. But in a "Oh, I thought that was a woman until she/he started speaking"
729. What's funnier, plants or fire extinguishers?
Fire Extinguishers. They do more.
730. For question 720 did you write down sex?
I did.
You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater.
Clearly you've never done musical theater.
731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid?
Plaid. For reals.
732. What would you consider ordinary?
A glass of water.
733. What is out of the ordinary?
A glass of water on fire.
734. Do you ever watch COPS?
Not since high school.
735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o?
No. Not always.
736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it?
Like Highlander, but with good writers.
737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air?
I have a basic understanding of some of the concepts involved.
738. When do you act the most dramatic?
When shit goes down. Or when I'm getting paid for it.
739. Are you one of those people who have, "see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards?
Nope. But some of them are signed with the Zorro slash, just to see if anybody notices.
740. It's mom’s birthday. What do you get her?
Candy, flowers, chocolates, promises I don't intend to keep...
741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now'?
Pauly Shore.
742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy?
Uhm..no. Because I'm not crazy.
743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey?
I have no idea. Nor do I care. I'm selfish like that.
744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean?
Nope. I'm eco friendly like that.
745. If you haven't would you want to?
No, not really. I'm too realistic.
746. If you ever did what would you write?
If you're reading this, I was wrong.
747. What do you wish you could always be protected from?
Betrayal. Or bankruptcy
748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime?
People who leave the sponge in the sink.
749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV?
Fish tank!
750. Is it better to be loved or feared?
Depends. By students? By my girlfriend? By my Parents?
751. What causes you to panic?
Nothing. I have "Don't Panic" written on my brain.
752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality?
No. I belive I have a personality that has some muscle on it, but wouldn't be considered "strong" before being considered "agile" or "well built"
753. When Jesus saves souls...does he trade them in for valuable prizes?
I'm gonna go with no.
754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years?
To never ever get sick ever.
755. Why wait?
Because we, as people, need totally arbitrary markers to make things happen.
756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you?
Always working against me. Time is an asshole.
757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life?
I work out. I clean swords. I read comic books. I dream of better days.
758. How much Tolkien have you read?
The Hobbit and the Fellowship. That's it. Couldn't get into Two Towers
759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to:
Time Bomb by Rancid
Dead Man's party by Oingo Boingo
The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha
50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon
Run by collective Soul This one.
760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person?
Yes.
761. Do you believe he was the son of god?
No.
762. How do you feel about organized religion?
I have a wide assortment of mixed feelings.
763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context?
"God, you're firm"
763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick?
A chainsaw. Useful, but noisy and hard to control.
764. Name a group of people:
Scientologists
765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they have magical machines that do it for them.
766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets?
It's ok.
767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal?
Yeah, I do.
768. Metallica or Guns N' Roses?
Guns N Roses.
769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac?
Not really, no.
770. Do you like reggae music?
It's alright.
771. What makes your life worth it every day?
Wow....I really wish I had an answer here. Uh...hope, I guess.
772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it?
No, somedays I just kind of pat on the shoulder and tell them I hope they're doing well.
773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn?
More often than I'd like.
774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy' or 'sane'?
We all do.
775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers?
That's not up to me to decide.
776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born?
John Lennon was killed.
777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes?
When I throw coins into mall fountains from the 2nd floor.
778. Are you self-sufficient?
Usually.
779. Is it better to be wanted or needed?
Wanted. WAAAAAAAAAANTED. Dead or AHHHH-LIVE!
780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at?
Don't end a sentience in a preposition. And somewhere in the upper teens. But everybody has their own time.
781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different?
Nope
782. Are you a hard person to get to know?
No, not really. Just ask me question and spend some time around me.
783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger?
Punched a window.
784. What's the MOST annoying sound you can think of?
A baby or small child screaming.
785. What's the silliest vegetable you can think of?
Rhubarb.
786. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. I believe in instant connection and serious chemistry. Love takes work.
787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”:
Uhm... I don't think I've ever said that.
788. What do you see when you turn out the light?
Not much.
789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music?
Jazz.
790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry?
Silver. Not a fan of gold.
791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you?
I don't want kids. But if I did, I'd want them to be smart, free thinking and have some serious morals.
792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you?
I'd like for them to be smarter, stronger, faster. I'd like for them to have the technology.
793. What was the scariest movie you've ever seen?
Event Horizon. That movie fucked me up for life.
794. What was the funniest movie you've ever seen?
Airplane
795. What was the worst movie you've ever seen?
Transformers 2
796. Are you a good massage-giver?
I have no idea. My exwife always bitched about it, but she bitched about most things.
797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes' to?
Have you ever peed in a pool while I was near you?
798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive?
Yes. Very much so.
799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein?
It is possible. Unlikely, but possible.
800. Are you often sarcastic?
Not often. Sarcasm is a tool of the weak mind. Use it sparingly. (Doubly so if you are a student of mine)