Dating for the sake of dating
People date for a lot of different reasons, but I'm only going to talk about two. First off, there are people who date in the hopes of finding their soulmate. Someone they can spend lot a good majority of their time with getting to know them and really developing a connection. These are the people that look at dating as a prelude to a serious relationship that leads to marriage.
Second, we have people who just get together to go out and have a good time. No pressure, doesn't get too serious because you know it is not going to go anywhere. You never really ask yourself, "Are things going too fast? Too slow?" or "Should I make a move? Is she giving me a signal? Am I giving out the right signal?" This is just dating for the sake of dating or maybe, more appropriately, dating just for fun.
I use to do mostly the first, where I seldom went out and when I did, a lot of the dates would end with the thought, “That’s not going anywhere.” More recently I’ve been doing a lot more of the latter of the two and I have to admit, it’s fun. Fun, but ultimately a little empty. There is no pressure, because you are never going to take things farther, both of you know at the end of the night, when you kiss her goodnight, that’s it.
I know what I want… I definitely want something more substantial… I am looking for that special something, that connection with someone else, but at the same time I am having a lot of fun. Is this the classic battle between ID and SUPEREGO? Do I think in the short term or the long?
It’s a tough call… On hand, you are always looking and every time you go out with someone, the question is always looming over you… “Is this someone I can get serious about?” There is always a certain amount of pressure going on, always some awkwardness, always looking for your sign… And after a while it just seems hopeless. Okay that’s an exaggeration. I just mean, when you look for something for a long time and it doesn’t seem like you are getting any closer to finding what you are looking for, it’s just discouraging.
Then there is just going out for a good time… No pressure just a good time. It’s kind of empty because it never goes anywhere… But at least it’s fun…
Honestly, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about...
Second, we have people who just get together to go out and have a good time. No pressure, doesn't get too serious because you know it is not going to go anywhere. You never really ask yourself, "Are things going too fast? Too slow?" or "Should I make a move? Is she giving me a signal? Am I giving out the right signal?" This is just dating for the sake of dating or maybe, more appropriately, dating just for fun.
I use to do mostly the first, where I seldom went out and when I did, a lot of the dates would end with the thought, “That’s not going anywhere.” More recently I’ve been doing a lot more of the latter of the two and I have to admit, it’s fun. Fun, but ultimately a little empty. There is no pressure, because you are never going to take things farther, both of you know at the end of the night, when you kiss her goodnight, that’s it.
I know what I want… I definitely want something more substantial… I am looking for that special something, that connection with someone else, but at the same time I am having a lot of fun. Is this the classic battle between ID and SUPEREGO? Do I think in the short term or the long?
It’s a tough call… On hand, you are always looking and every time you go out with someone, the question is always looming over you… “Is this someone I can get serious about?” There is always a certain amount of pressure going on, always some awkwardness, always looking for your sign… And after a while it just seems hopeless. Okay that’s an exaggeration. I just mean, when you look for something for a long time and it doesn’t seem like you are getting any closer to finding what you are looking for, it’s just discouraging.
Then there is just going out for a good time… No pressure just a good time. It’s kind of empty because it never goes anywhere… But at least it’s fun…
Honestly, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about...