c'est le romance que chacun danse en attendant l'amour
I downloaded The Dick Van Dyke Show and was watching it at work. I miss when Nick at Nite didn't suck.
I have come to the conclusion that slash has completely eaten my brain. It took a few years to be sure, but I knew something was very, very wrong when Buddy and Mel started arguing and I had the very, very wrong urge to read/write Buddy/Mel.
*sobs* Look what you pervs have done to my childhood!
(I'm only joking. If I could get into femmeslash, I'd be all about some Lucy/Ethel.)
The strangest part about this is that the first fanfic I ever wrote was The Dick Van Dyke Show, and I was maybe 8 or 10. It was het. I wanted Buddy and Sally to hook up, despite the fact Buddy was happily married and it would've thrown off the great buddy-buddy aspect of his and Sally's relationship. I wrote 48 pages of this on notebook paper, front and back, and hid it in a purple and orange Garfield folder. I was terrified what would happen if anyone found and read it, even though the most risque thing in the whole story was a kiss.
Picture: Buddy and Sally are the 2 in back. Rob's (seated) expression is his reaction to Buddy/Mel.
My story: the gang (Rob, Laura, Buddy, Sally - Buddy's wife was conspicuously absent, you'll note) went to this island for a vacation. I didn't know anything about any islands you could go to on vacation when I was 10. I lived in a small town*, not even a town but a valley - kind of like Hobbiton, but with rusted pick-up truck and cows instead of hobbits. So I made up an island called Carmentia, that pretty much looked like New York City in every black and white film ever made. (I watched a lot of AMC and Nick at Nite when I was little, can you tell?)
I don't recall exactly how or what happened, but the gang got caught in the middle of some criminal activity: people were trying to kill them. Sally almost got shot. This strikes me now as absolutely hilarious, because tDVDs is one of the most wholesome, genuinely nice shows EVER. And don't tell me about Leave it to Beaver or Donna Reed, because Ward Cleaver was an ass, and Donna Reed was thisclose to stabbing her children in the face with the heel of her pumps.
The climax of my story came when Buddy and Sally ended up hiding in a closet together. Oh, cliches, how I abused you even then. I was squeamish at the age of 10 (despite having played Leisure Suit Larry four years prior!) and fond of the fade-to-black. I still don't think I could write porn with these characters; it would be like slashing Jesus and John the Baptist if I were religiously inclined.
(*...does not go to Google Jesus/JtB*)
Anyway, point: like every story I have ever written, it remained unfinished. (That actually wasn't the point -- there isn't one.) Once they had made out in the closet, I was pretty much done. That was all I wanted. And then I worked out a crossover in my head, Sally/Ted from The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
When I found fandom, years later, it was that same sort of eye-opening awareness as when you realize that everyone masturbates (or at least has at some point, come on). And when I found LJ, and especially when I started reading SGA fanfic, it was like that second epiphany, when you realize that not only does everyone masturbate, they're doing it better than you.
(You guys totally had that realization, right? That there's this WHOLE WORLD out there you knew nothing about, with toys and lube and ropes and bathtub faucets and A/V components and OTHER PEOPLE! A couple of you probably were born with this realization - 2metaldog and tameiki1, I'm totally looking at you.)
I think we're done with the TMI portion of our program now, thanks.
And wow, that was a really long post just to say Buddy/Mel would be great, only maybe squicky, and I used to ship Buddy/Sally, and I was the strangest child ever and who the fuck ships anyone on The Dick Van Dyke Show, for crying out loud.
So - what's your secret favourite most unusual pairing? Mr Clean/the Brawny paper towel guy? Bugs/Daffy? Mr Rogers/Big Bird? (Cross-species pollination is so hot.)
Bert/Ernie gets my vote, but they're so mainstream OTP, innit.
ETA: I love this Post Secret picture. THEY KNOW, WALLY. THEY KNOW.
People should make lolcat pictures with classic TV stills.
I have come to the conclusion that slash has completely eaten my brain. It took a few years to be sure, but I knew something was very, very wrong when Buddy and Mel started arguing and I had the very, very wrong urge to read/write Buddy/Mel.
*sobs* Look what you pervs have done to my childhood!
(I'm only joking. If I could get into femmeslash, I'd be all about some Lucy/Ethel.)
The strangest part about this is that the first fanfic I ever wrote was The Dick Van Dyke Show, and I was maybe 8 or 10. It was het. I wanted Buddy and Sally to hook up, despite the fact Buddy was happily married and it would've thrown off the great buddy-buddy aspect of his and Sally's relationship. I wrote 48 pages of this on notebook paper, front and back, and hid it in a purple and orange Garfield folder. I was terrified what would happen if anyone found and read it, even though the most risque thing in the whole story was a kiss.
Picture: Buddy and Sally are the 2 in back. Rob's (seated) expression is his reaction to Buddy/Mel.
My story: the gang (Rob, Laura, Buddy, Sally - Buddy's wife was conspicuously absent, you'll note) went to this island for a vacation. I didn't know anything about any islands you could go to on vacation when I was 10. I lived in a small town*, not even a town but a valley - kind of like Hobbiton, but with rusted pick-up truck and cows instead of hobbits. So I made up an island called Carmentia, that pretty much looked like New York City in every black and white film ever made. (I watched a lot of AMC and Nick at Nite when I was little, can you tell?)
I don't recall exactly how or what happened, but the gang got caught in the middle of some criminal activity: people were trying to kill them. Sally almost got shot. This strikes me now as absolutely hilarious, because tDVDs is one of the most wholesome, genuinely nice shows EVER. And don't tell me about Leave it to Beaver or Donna Reed, because Ward Cleaver was an ass, and Donna Reed was thisclose to stabbing her children in the face with the heel of her pumps.
The climax of my story came when Buddy and Sally ended up hiding in a closet together. Oh, cliches, how I abused you even then. I was squeamish at the age of 10 (despite having played Leisure Suit Larry four years prior!) and fond of the fade-to-black. I still don't think I could write porn with these characters; it would be like slashing Jesus and John the Baptist if I were religiously inclined.
(*...does not go to Google Jesus/JtB*)
Anyway, point: like every story I have ever written, it remained unfinished. (That actually wasn't the point -- there isn't one.) Once they had made out in the closet, I was pretty much done. That was all I wanted. And then I worked out a crossover in my head, Sally/Ted from The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
When I found fandom, years later, it was that same sort of eye-opening awareness as when you realize that everyone masturbates (or at least has at some point, come on). And when I found LJ, and especially when I started reading SGA fanfic, it was like that second epiphany, when you realize that not only does everyone masturbate, they're doing it better than you.
(You guys totally had that realization, right? That there's this WHOLE WORLD out there you knew nothing about, with toys and lube and ropes and bathtub faucets and A/V components and OTHER PEOPLE! A couple of you probably were born with this realization - 2metaldog and tameiki1, I'm totally looking at you.)
I think we're done with the TMI portion of our program now, thanks.
And wow, that was a really long post just to say Buddy/Mel would be great, only maybe squicky, and I used to ship Buddy/Sally, and I was the strangest child ever and who the fuck ships anyone on The Dick Van Dyke Show, for crying out loud.
So - what's your secret favourite most unusual pairing? Mr Clean/the Brawny paper towel guy? Bugs/Daffy? Mr Rogers/Big Bird? (Cross-species pollination is so hot.)
Bert/Ernie gets my vote, but they're so mainstream OTP, innit.
ETA: I love this Post Secret picture. THEY KNOW, WALLY. THEY KNOW.
People should make lolcat pictures with classic TV stills.