The Reason
Pairing: Daigo Nishihata X Masakado Yoshinori.
Other Character : Koji Mukai, Nagase Ren, Kyohei, Asada Junya, Imae Daichi
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance
Summary : all the reason he needs to hear
Disclaimer : None of this actually happen (or I hope it happen though.lol) I just summarize every rumor I get from the social media lately about Koji joining Snowman, about the absence of Masakado from the next Takizero in Tokyo, about Masakado decision, and putting it in a form of a short story, I hope you can enjoy this, and comment if you have time. I don't own anyone in this pic, but the plot and storyline.
" I know, but I will always be by his side, till the day he left me,"
-----
Strumming my guitar, I watch the ceiling as the rain pouring outside the window, rain in the middle of winter, adding the coldness that already linger there, and inside my heart.
" Oy, Masakado, it's time," I heard them shout at me, voice interfering my clouded mind, I put my guitar down and dragging my tired feet to yet another round of dance practice.
at the corner of my eyes, I can see clearly his expression, that tough expression he put on, the all bubbly jumpy personalities he put to cover what he really feel inside.
I have a generous amount of respect I put on him, I admire him in so many ways, I admire him for his courage, the courage I might not have, now and God knows whenever else.
the beat of the drum that bumping as the rhythm of our heartbeat get me realize that every drop of sweat that fall on this wooden floor is the drop of hope, and pain, and happiness that grows alike deep in our veins.
I stand on the stage before me, looking at the audiences seat. what did I do that make me belong here? am I really belong here? on this stage? I question my self.
---
I was propping my stuff on my bag when he walk inside the dressing room,
"You awfully quiet today," He said, rubbing his wet hair with a towel
"I think about stuff," I said, smiling at him, rolling the cord of my headphones
"You are braver than I am," he said again, sitting in a folded chair in front of me, looking straightly at me
"How so? " I giggle a bit.
" I wouldn't dare to do that if I were you," he said again,
"Well. you are not me, you might not braver, but definitely stronger,"
"Masakado,"
"It's the best for you Ko-chan, it is, you make the right choice," I assure him, leaning myself at the corner of the table,
He exhale a bit, grabbing the sides of his head, his eyes narrowed a bit,
"Is it really the right choice?" He said, eyes totally blank.
" Well, what do you think?" I said,
He shook his head and buried it in his palms, his tears start falling.
"If it's the right choice, why didn't you take the same option?" He asked,
"What's best for you don't always mean the best for me,"
"What's best for you then?" He lift his head and look at me again,
"You know what it is,"
"Seriously," He sigh a bit, "He already join a group anyway, He'll leave you someday, he might be debuted before you did,"
I smiled at him while crossing my hands in front of my chest, " I know, but I will always be by his side till the day he left me,"
"Masakado," he smirk, " you are too naive,"
" I'm just too in love,"
"That couldn't be the only reason," He asked me again, wasn't satisfied at my answer.
" I'm not belong there, Ko-chan," I propped my hand on my back pocket, " YOU belong there, you are the same level as them," I laughed a bit, " Me? with them? is that even possible in the first place?"
" But they did offer you, that means they saw what you got,"
I pointed at my guitar, " They see what it got," I smile at him again, "I'm nothing without it,"
"You are not nothing!" He exclaimed
I laughed, " He is the one that told me that when no one ever had,"
"Is that why you love him so much?"
"One of many things," I said, "I can't be away from him for too long, he had suffered so much, I don't want to be the one who cause him more suffering."
" I can see why he loves you too, " Ko-chan said, stretching his legs,
"He loves you too,"
"Not as much as you,"
"You both are Kansai's ace,"
"Don't be kidding me, Masakado, you won his heart,"
" I don't get here because I won his heart," I said, I KNOW where this conversation going, no I'm not using him for my fame. I love him, for being the way how he make me as I am. or I just too in love with myself?
it left him speechless, he get up from his seat, and turning his back,
"Thank you,"
"For what,"
" For standing up for him, when I can't,"
that resonate in my head, the words he had left me.
then the phone rings.
"Hai,"
it was silence at the other end,
"Hello?"
still silent,
"Are you gonna be quiet or should I end the call?" I asked,
still silent,
"Hey,"
I was about to hang up when the other line finally answered,
"I miss you," He said,
"I know," I giggle, " But you keep my uchiwa in your car, how can you miss me?"
"I have another one in my room by the way," he laugh
"What is it?" I asked him, brushing my hair back
" I heard the news,"
"U huh,"
"Does he really-?"
"Yes,"
"You do too?"
"What do you think?" I smiled,
"Well if you want to, I honored your decision,"
I laughed,
"Are you really Nishihata Daigo??"
"Nandeya~"
"That's so not you~"
"What exactly should I do to be me?" He said getting upset.
"Whining around,"
"Shut up,"
"Teasing me,"
"I never tease you,"
"Owh really?"
"Yeah,"
"Are you sure?"
"Shut up, Masakado," he really is upset,
I laughed, "Call me by my name," then order him,
"No, not in a hell, no,"
"Why?" I asked him again, with a voice much lower, I know he can't resist that,
"Stop it, "
"Go on say it,"
"NO!"
"Daichan~"
" Don't call me Daichan,"
" Okay, Daigo then," I giggled, " now what's my name?"
" Masakado,"
" That's my father's name,"
" Higekado,"
" Shut up," He laughed happily at the other end, " now seriously,"
"Okay fine, but only this one time,"
"I'm listening,"
"Arrrghhh you are soo annoying!"
"I'm waiting,"
"Yo-"
"Uhuh,"
"Yoshinori-" He said shyly, it sends chill to my spine, the sound of my name coming out from someone I love the most,
" I love you, Daigo" I said to him, closing my eyes imagining him right beside me,
" I love you more..." He said putting unnecessary pause before saying, " Yoshinori,"
----
The day goes by, harder than ever, we have addition for other Kansai Junior with us today, it's hard to understand that this show was supposedly all Snowman show, they will announce it at the end that all that participate here are indeed in one band.
Throwing the huge opportunity away, it might seems so silly, was it?
but what would I be without them. What would Masakado Yoshinori be without Kansai Johnny's Junior?
the road ahead of me will be hard, but it will worth it.
" He will come today, will he?" Ko-chan asked suddenly,
"Huh?" I said, getting up from the floor, I was stretching before, he help me up.
"Your girlfriend," he said again, and all Kansai boys suddenly approach me, and teasing me around
"He want to-" I catch my breath first and ducking their sudden attack before properly answer, "He want to watch Suezawa-kun's stage,"
"I think he wants to see you THEN watching the show," Asada jumped in the conversation giddily,
" I'm not that much of a priority to him," I giggled,
"Ara, he even ask me today, what time will you get back to hotel," Asada said again,"
"Why can't he just ask me in the first place," I said irritatedly,
"Ara, don't be mad at me!"
"Ya- I'm not mad at you," I laugh
"But he said something like he want to eat meat with Ren, and-" Imae said halfway, notice the change of my face when he said the word 'Ren' then stopped.
" He wanted to go out with Ren THEN meet me," I said bitterly, " see, I never be that much of a priority to him,"
"Ya- I don't mean to~" Imae said again, " eh, Masakado kun!"
I left them, picking up my water bottle and dashing out from the room
I never be that much of priority to him, even that he is my everything.
---
We meet up at the restaurant, Him, Ren, Kyohei (Why should he even here?), Daigo was sit next to me, -Higekado, you sat on my right- Ren was across at him, with Kyohei beside him,
"Ah finally meat!" He exclaimed happily, I laughed
"Nanya- you can pick anything else why do you always pick to eat meat?" Ren protest,
" Because Higekado here need lots of protein," He giggled,
"Hey, don't blame me on this!" I protest and they laugh happily,
"Ah, how's the practice Masakado-kun? the radio is kinda hard without you," Said Kyohei, putting the meat on the grill,
"It's hard because you miss pronounce the kanji again?" I laughed,
"Ya- hidoi na," Ren said,
"Yeah, kind of, " Kyohei laugh, " but honestly it's different when you are not around,"
"Ara- you miss him?" Daigo asked, somehow iritated.
"Eh, don't get the wrong idea!" Kyohei said, slightly afraid,
"Mouu," I flicked my boyfriend's forehead.
"Ita!" He protested, pouting, he's so cute I need to kiss him right now.
Ren just laughed at us, " Kawaii naa~" he commented
"Kawakunai!" Daigo said, I put a meat on his plate, he's still pouting.
"If you keep pouting like that, I'll kiss you right now," I whispered to him, while handed him the plate, he stomp at my foot.
" I see, are you joining Snowman like Koji, Masakado?" Ren said suddenly, and we fall in silence.
"Ya- no, I don't" I said, Daigo turn his head at me,
"Why?" He asked,
I munch on the meat casually, " I just don't fell like it,"
"Don't feel like it~" Daigo said mockingly.
"You know it will be hard on you if you refuse that kind of things, right?" Ren said, stop a moment then picking up the meat, "I mean, I know, I was in that position,"
"Yup, I know," I said, "I know you know too,"
"Then why?" He asked again,
"Because I'm not you, Ren,"
Daigo clench his palm on mine,
"Should I asked more meat?" Kyohei said, getting up from his seat.
"What do you mean?" Ren said, putting down his utensils.
"Nothing,"
"Can you pass me the meat, Ren?" Daigo asked tried to tone down the tension.
"What do you mean nothing?" Ren completely ignored him.
I put down my plate and chopstick and taking a sip of tea before answering,
"Well, unlike you," I begin, " I would never leave this man beside me, even it's the last thing I know,"
----
"What was that for?" Daigo said, outrage at my action earlier, we were back at the hotel, he came to my room, Ko-chan was move to somewhere else in purpose, knowing that Daigo is coming over.
"What?"
" Why should you say that to him? we have talked about this!" He said again, putting down his things on the couch,
" Nothing,"
"What do you mean nothing?" Daigo said, " Masakado, look at me," He said again, turning my body to him,
"I said nothing," I said to him,
"It's not his will that-"
" Do you think it's Ko-chan's will?" Masakado said, " do you think it is all OUR will, Daigo?"
"I didn't say that," He said, toning down his voice.
"We all have free will, where was it when we need it?" I said, "is it really applied here?"
"Masakado," He tried to approach me.
" I gave up everything, " I said, tears start running down my cheeks, "what would I be, Daigo?"
"You gave up for me?"
"I gave up because I'm a coward,"
"You are not," He march towards me and hug me from behind, " you are not a coward," he said.
"I'm too afraid,"
"We all afraid sometimes," He said, tighten up his embrace, " Even I do afraid, sometimes,"
that silence me, "Daigo,"
" It is hard for me too, you know," He started crying too, " I need to redone it all over again, without Ko-chan,"
I hold his hand on my chest,
"And I can't do it without you,"
I turn my body to him, I wipe the tears on his cheeks and kiss his forehead, " You can do it Daigo, you do this all the time, you can do this,"
he sobs, then smile at me,
"Ko-chan said to me you know," He said,
"Said what?" I asked,
"He said that you didn't take the opportunity, because you don't want to be away from me," he giggled.
"He said that?" I giggled, pushing the strand of his hair back to his ear
he nods,
" Does he also said I do it because I love you too much?" I said again, he pounced on me,
"Shut up," He said.
"I love you too much, Nishihata Daigo.
"No~"
"I love you too much, I forgot how to love myself,"
"I can help you with that," he laughed, pushing back my bangs, I hold his waist close on mine.
"Really?" I giggled," how?"
"Kiss me," He ordered.
"What?" I pretend to not hear that.
"Kiss me, Masakado," He said again, annoyed.
"I can't hear anything," I tease him,
"Goddamnit," He straighten himself, circling his arms around my neck and breath on my face, " Kiss me, Yoshinori,"
and I take his lips on mine sweetly, as I sweep him off his feet, I kiss him deeper and deeper. I love this man, better than anyone, is it because he helped me to love myself, as much as I helped him to love himself ?
or we're just too much in love with each other? out of nothing at all?