stockholm syndrome [ chapter 6 ]
Title: Stockholm Syndrome
Author: hikaru_is_love
Pairing: Yabu Kota/OC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, a little action, a darker genre
Summary: What do you do when you begin to fall for the one holding you hostage?
A/N: I am SO SO SO SORRY! for taking forever to update this! i finally got some free time so i decided to update. Since it's been so long i decided to put in the last part of the previous chapter
“Leave.” He ordered. “It’s for the best.”
I nodded as I stepped towards the door, reaching for its handle. I took a deep breath as my hand rested upon it, this was it; I was free. I went to turn the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. I tried again and again but the handle would not turn. It was then that I realised it was my hand that was not moving.
If I opened this door, I would be leaving the dangers of this prison only to enter another. The question was, which did I prefer? In that moment, a sudden realisation dawned upon me. I had lost all will to leave.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” He cried. His voice frightened me, not because he was in outrage, but for the fact that he had lost all composure. Never had I ever seen or heard him lose control. I felt somewhat confused and heart-broken. I could only imagine that this side of him had only emerged upon my entering his life, it made sense that he wanted me out to avoid the group falling apart but what didn’t make sense was why I was the cause of their demise. It occurred to me that maybe I should leave, they needed each other to survive and I was driving them apart. Yet still, I remained at the door, unable to pass through it.
“Leave!”
His voice was shaking. His words were not a controlled order as they usually would have been, but a desperate plea. I turned to glance at his face, flooded with guilt as I did so. He looked broken, tortured, in agony. I knew he didn’t want my sympathy, nor my pity, but something within me compelled me to turn my back towards the door. I didn’t want to leave him, not in a state like this. I almost felt his pain, I never knew its source but it felt as if my insides were being torn to shreds and my eyes burned from fighting tears.
“No…” The answer slipped from my tongue in a whisper; a moment where I didn’t think before acting. Yet in this case, there was no need. His expression softened for a moment out of surprise before returning to one of despair. Another sharing that expression may have fallen to the floor in pain, but Yabu remained standing looking on the verge of collapse. Before I knew it, I realised I had stepped towards him, staring up at his features twisted in a tortured expression causing my heart to feel as if a knife was driven through it.
He tilted his head down and away to hide his vulnerable state in the shadows. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this, not even me. But I wanted to help him; I wanted him to be the strong leader he was. Slowly, hesitantly, I reached my hands towards his face and cupped it in them. I tilted it up so his deep, brown eyes, like a smouldering flame, burned into mine. His expression was now one of sorrow, like the barren wasteland fire leaves a forest in. I felt his skin, cool and smooth against mine and stared at his face lit up by the moonlight shining through a high window in the entrance we were standing in. He was beautiful, like an angel fallen from grace.
Slowly, but almost as if upon impulse, my hands slipped behind his head and wrapped in a loose embrace which I slowly tightened. I held him in an attempt at comfort as he continued to stand motionless. My head was filled with images of Kei, how greatly he differed to Yabu. If Yabu were Kei in this moment, he would have broken down in tears allowing the pain to consume him entirely. But Yabu stood silently in pain, fighting the suffering inside. Yabu was strong, a fighter, he refused to let anything beat him.
I gasped as I suddenly Yabu’s arms wrap around my waist, remaining there for a moment before he abruptly removed them, instead creating a void between us. His sudden action caused my heart to tighten in pain and I stiffened.
“You’re married…” He whispered brokenly. “You have to go back to him, he loves you and…” He paused. “You love him.”
“I don’t…” I whispered without thinking. To speak was more difficult than ever before. “Arranged…marriage…” I explained as if two words were all it took.
Yabu stared down at me blankly and I realised my arms were still around him. Ashamedly, I removed them and wrapped them around my sides. Staring up into his eyes in that moment was the most daunting thing I had ever done, not having the slightest idea what was running through his mind, or my heart…
I was then flooded with shame. What was I even doing here? He had given me the opportunity to leave, more so he forced me to. Why was I still here? I wasn’t wanted here, and he’s right, I’m married, even if I don’t love him I should just go back ‘home’. “Sorry…” I whispered, apologizing for being a nuisance in a world of which I did not belong before turning on my heels and reaching to open the door - to leave this place and never come back.
With every step towards the door that I took, pain continued to flood my heart. I felt as if I were in purgatory, I didn’t belong anywhere - not even where I wanted to be. The thought was disheartening and I instantly felt cold, tears beginning to form in my eyes. That was when I felt him grasp my wrist and pull me back into his arms. He held me tightly causing feelings within me to arise that I didn’t understand. I felt confused, the emotional whiplash was overwhelming. He loosened his hold on me, stepping back so I could see his face - an expression I could not read or describe. I turned to go to the door once more, but his hands cupped my face strongly, forcing my gaze to not avert from his eyes.
I trembled as his fingers moved through my hair and as his forehead touched to mine. My heart began to race, I couldn’t breathe; a cold shiver ran up my spine. We were so close, I could feel his heart beat, I could feel him trembling also, I could feel his warm breath, I could almost feel his eyelashes brushing against my skin; his lips were so close…
He ever so slowly tilted forward, closing the distance that remained a little more every time. After what seemed like an eternity, my lips felt warm…warm against his. For a moment, things remained that way. I felt deprived of oxygen; my heart had been beating so fast it felt as if it had stopped all together, I felt faint from anticipation. I waited and waited for him, only to realise that he was waiting for me. Waiting for me to decide to be unfaithful and his or faithful and never to see his face again. Things were about to end, one way or another. In those final moments, all I could hear was my heart beat like a drum.
And then it was over. My lips pressed against his as my arms wrapped tightly around him. He returned my wishes as his lips parted and moved softly against mine.
Gravity ceased to exist in that moment and the blood seemed to rush to my head. Oxygen wasn’t something I needed to breathe anymore, this was enough. But what was this? Can you call something taboo if it feels right no matter how wrong and forbidden it is?
I melted into him and intense warmth filled my insides. Troubles were undoubtedly on the horizon, but in that moment troubles no longer mattered. That moment was the end of the greatest trouble we had faced.
For now…
___________________________________
ahhh she has finally decided :P i think her decision was kind of predictable but oh well...
im sorry if this chapter was a bit of a let down and if it was too short, i havent written in so long i have to get better haha
Author: hikaru_is_love
Pairing: Yabu Kota/OC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, a little action, a darker genre
Summary: What do you do when you begin to fall for the one holding you hostage?
A/N: I am SO SO SO SORRY! for taking forever to update this! i finally got some free time so i decided to update. Since it's been so long i decided to put in the last part of the previous chapter
“Leave.” He ordered. “It’s for the best.”
I nodded as I stepped towards the door, reaching for its handle. I took a deep breath as my hand rested upon it, this was it; I was free. I went to turn the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. I tried again and again but the handle would not turn. It was then that I realised it was my hand that was not moving.
If I opened this door, I would be leaving the dangers of this prison only to enter another. The question was, which did I prefer? In that moment, a sudden realisation dawned upon me. I had lost all will to leave.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” He cried. His voice frightened me, not because he was in outrage, but for the fact that he had lost all composure. Never had I ever seen or heard him lose control. I felt somewhat confused and heart-broken. I could only imagine that this side of him had only emerged upon my entering his life, it made sense that he wanted me out to avoid the group falling apart but what didn’t make sense was why I was the cause of their demise. It occurred to me that maybe I should leave, they needed each other to survive and I was driving them apart. Yet still, I remained at the door, unable to pass through it.
“Leave!”
His voice was shaking. His words were not a controlled order as they usually would have been, but a desperate plea. I turned to glance at his face, flooded with guilt as I did so. He looked broken, tortured, in agony. I knew he didn’t want my sympathy, nor my pity, but something within me compelled me to turn my back towards the door. I didn’t want to leave him, not in a state like this. I almost felt his pain, I never knew its source but it felt as if my insides were being torn to shreds and my eyes burned from fighting tears.
“No…” The answer slipped from my tongue in a whisper; a moment where I didn’t think before acting. Yet in this case, there was no need. His expression softened for a moment out of surprise before returning to one of despair. Another sharing that expression may have fallen to the floor in pain, but Yabu remained standing looking on the verge of collapse. Before I knew it, I realised I had stepped towards him, staring up at his features twisted in a tortured expression causing my heart to feel as if a knife was driven through it.
He tilted his head down and away to hide his vulnerable state in the shadows. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this, not even me. But I wanted to help him; I wanted him to be the strong leader he was. Slowly, hesitantly, I reached my hands towards his face and cupped it in them. I tilted it up so his deep, brown eyes, like a smouldering flame, burned into mine. His expression was now one of sorrow, like the barren wasteland fire leaves a forest in. I felt his skin, cool and smooth against mine and stared at his face lit up by the moonlight shining through a high window in the entrance we were standing in. He was beautiful, like an angel fallen from grace.
Slowly, but almost as if upon impulse, my hands slipped behind his head and wrapped in a loose embrace which I slowly tightened. I held him in an attempt at comfort as he continued to stand motionless. My head was filled with images of Kei, how greatly he differed to Yabu. If Yabu were Kei in this moment, he would have broken down in tears allowing the pain to consume him entirely. But Yabu stood silently in pain, fighting the suffering inside. Yabu was strong, a fighter, he refused to let anything beat him.
I gasped as I suddenly Yabu’s arms wrap around my waist, remaining there for a moment before he abruptly removed them, instead creating a void between us. His sudden action caused my heart to tighten in pain and I stiffened.
“You’re married…” He whispered brokenly. “You have to go back to him, he loves you and…” He paused. “You love him.”
“I don’t…” I whispered without thinking. To speak was more difficult than ever before. “Arranged…marriage…” I explained as if two words were all it took.
Yabu stared down at me blankly and I realised my arms were still around him. Ashamedly, I removed them and wrapped them around my sides. Staring up into his eyes in that moment was the most daunting thing I had ever done, not having the slightest idea what was running through his mind, or my heart…
I was then flooded with shame. What was I even doing here? He had given me the opportunity to leave, more so he forced me to. Why was I still here? I wasn’t wanted here, and he’s right, I’m married, even if I don’t love him I should just go back ‘home’. “Sorry…” I whispered, apologizing for being a nuisance in a world of which I did not belong before turning on my heels and reaching to open the door - to leave this place and never come back.
With every step towards the door that I took, pain continued to flood my heart. I felt as if I were in purgatory, I didn’t belong anywhere - not even where I wanted to be. The thought was disheartening and I instantly felt cold, tears beginning to form in my eyes. That was when I felt him grasp my wrist and pull me back into his arms. He held me tightly causing feelings within me to arise that I didn’t understand. I felt confused, the emotional whiplash was overwhelming. He loosened his hold on me, stepping back so I could see his face - an expression I could not read or describe. I turned to go to the door once more, but his hands cupped my face strongly, forcing my gaze to not avert from his eyes.
I trembled as his fingers moved through my hair and as his forehead touched to mine. My heart began to race, I couldn’t breathe; a cold shiver ran up my spine. We were so close, I could feel his heart beat, I could feel him trembling also, I could feel his warm breath, I could almost feel his eyelashes brushing against my skin; his lips were so close…
He ever so slowly tilted forward, closing the distance that remained a little more every time. After what seemed like an eternity, my lips felt warm…warm against his. For a moment, things remained that way. I felt deprived of oxygen; my heart had been beating so fast it felt as if it had stopped all together, I felt faint from anticipation. I waited and waited for him, only to realise that he was waiting for me. Waiting for me to decide to be unfaithful and his or faithful and never to see his face again. Things were about to end, one way or another. In those final moments, all I could hear was my heart beat like a drum.
And then it was over. My lips pressed against his as my arms wrapped tightly around him. He returned my wishes as his lips parted and moved softly against mine.
Gravity ceased to exist in that moment and the blood seemed to rush to my head. Oxygen wasn’t something I needed to breathe anymore, this was enough. But what was this? Can you call something taboo if it feels right no matter how wrong and forbidden it is?
I melted into him and intense warmth filled my insides. Troubles were undoubtedly on the horizon, but in that moment troubles no longer mattered. That moment was the end of the greatest trouble we had faced.
For now…
___________________________________
ahhh she has finally decided :P i think her decision was kind of predictable but oh well...
im sorry if this chapter was a bit of a let down and if it was too short, i havent written in so long i have to get better haha